This is more for me than for you.
Dear [Fuzzy Lumpkins],
It's not that I hate my name, it's that I feel more respected when someone refers to me as the person I feel I AM. You know what it's like to want to be you, and not the you that other people want you to be. And it's not that I hate my eye color, it's that I prefer them green. And since I HAVE to wear contacts, why not get them colored? Oh excuse me, I CHOOSE to wear contacts over glasses, but either way it's a necessity. And if you feel used, that's all in your head. I most certainly couldn't rely on your finances, and I didn't. And I worked on it, you know I did whether you choose to believe it or not. Did I stop working or refuse to go out when you couldn't afford to take me out (which happened too frequently)? No. I still wanted to spend that time with you. What could I POSSIBLY have used you for? And I did the right thing by ending your suffering, so you don't have much room to complain.
I'm glad you're starting over. Maybe you'll become happy for the first time in your life, you'll feel you belong because you have a family you like. I'm happy for you, and I'm also sort of relieved because I couldn't watch you and Alyssa get back into your thing without all those wounds opening back up and making me want to kill you both. Thanks to that, I can never consider her a good friend again. I'll certainly miss her, but she can't be trusted. She spins lies and exaggerations just to get her own way. You know, the way girls do in high school. You can do better than that. You can also do better than the girl who played you and is now pregnant with the other man's child (even if you were the "other man"). You don't want a pregnant woman, and you DEFINITELY don't want a married one. You will make a woman very very happy, as long as you stay happy with her and appreciate everything about her. You remain the best person I've been with, but I have hope for a future of greater things, someone who doesn't think my hopes are pointless or juveneile or naieve. Until then, I'll forge my way through life by myself, as I've always done. I don't just sit at home doing nothing expcting to be served and everything bought for me. I work and make my own money and pay my own bills. So to say I didn't contribute or something like that isn't accurate. I do fine on my own. And I'm very happy now that I have people taking me on dates, buying me steak and cheesecake and drinks, without mentioning the cost or forgetting to save their money to do so in the first place. And I don't have to drive them around, they drive me. They ask to come pick me up. And that's awesome. It makes me feel worth it, not like a burden. Not like I'm not worth a few extra hours at work or a round of beers at the pub. They don't forget their plans with me and skip out of town and forget to tell me. And they never cancel their plans with me because they're moody, because they know I'll help them feel better. And ya know what else? It's all without sex. That's right. So I don't have to feel guilty about leaving early to be home with my daughter because he'd rather me sleep in his bed. They appreciate me as a working mom, and feel honored that I spend time with them. OK I keep saying "them", but it's mostly just one person. The other one is needy and clingy and moody, and it reminds me too much of you, and it's scaring me away more than it's making me want to get to know him more. But it comes down to a respect thing, and honoring another.
I don't know why this is aimed at you... I just need to get it off my chest. I know you don't acknowledge me anymore. I'm going to just stop acknowledging you, then I won't get into these moods anymore. I'm happy and I feel good, and I feel attractive and desired, and I feel capable and worthy and worthwile.
And yet, here I sit, watching the Almighty Tallest, knowing you'll never NOT be a part of my life. And I vow to only remember the good times.
Love,
[Your Sweetness]
It's not that I hate my name, it's that I feel more respected when someone refers to me as the person I feel I AM. You know what it's like to want to be you, and not the you that other people want you to be. And it's not that I hate my eye color, it's that I prefer them green. And since I HAVE to wear contacts, why not get them colored? Oh excuse me, I CHOOSE to wear contacts over glasses, but either way it's a necessity. And if you feel used, that's all in your head. I most certainly couldn't rely on your finances, and I didn't. And I worked on it, you know I did whether you choose to believe it or not. Did I stop working or refuse to go out when you couldn't afford to take me out (which happened too frequently)? No. I still wanted to spend that time with you. What could I POSSIBLY have used you for? And I did the right thing by ending your suffering, so you don't have much room to complain.
I'm glad you're starting over. Maybe you'll become happy for the first time in your life, you'll feel you belong because you have a family you like. I'm happy for you, and I'm also sort of relieved because I couldn't watch you and Alyssa get back into your thing without all those wounds opening back up and making me want to kill you both. Thanks to that, I can never consider her a good friend again. I'll certainly miss her, but she can't be trusted. She spins lies and exaggerations just to get her own way. You know, the way girls do in high school. You can do better than that. You can also do better than the girl who played you and is now pregnant with the other man's child (even if you were the "other man"). You don't want a pregnant woman, and you DEFINITELY don't want a married one. You will make a woman very very happy, as long as you stay happy with her and appreciate everything about her. You remain the best person I've been with, but I have hope for a future of greater things, someone who doesn't think my hopes are pointless or juveneile or naieve. Until then, I'll forge my way through life by myself, as I've always done. I don't just sit at home doing nothing expcting to be served and everything bought for me. I work and make my own money and pay my own bills. So to say I didn't contribute or something like that isn't accurate. I do fine on my own. And I'm very happy now that I have people taking me on dates, buying me steak and cheesecake and drinks, without mentioning the cost or forgetting to save their money to do so in the first place. And I don't have to drive them around, they drive me. They ask to come pick me up. And that's awesome. It makes me feel worth it, not like a burden. Not like I'm not worth a few extra hours at work or a round of beers at the pub. They don't forget their plans with me and skip out of town and forget to tell me. And they never cancel their plans with me because they're moody, because they know I'll help them feel better. And ya know what else? It's all without sex. That's right. So I don't have to feel guilty about leaving early to be home with my daughter because he'd rather me sleep in his bed. They appreciate me as a working mom, and feel honored that I spend time with them. OK I keep saying "them", but it's mostly just one person. The other one is needy and clingy and moody, and it reminds me too much of you, and it's scaring me away more than it's making me want to get to know him more. But it comes down to a respect thing, and honoring another.
I don't know why this is aimed at you... I just need to get it off my chest. I know you don't acknowledge me anymore. I'm going to just stop acknowledging you, then I won't get into these moods anymore. I'm happy and I feel good, and I feel attractive and desired, and I feel capable and worthy and worthwile.
And yet, here I sit, watching the Almighty Tallest, knowing you'll never NOT be a part of my life. And I vow to only remember the good times.
Love,
[Your Sweetness]