The truth is out there
Much as I adored the X-Files in its heyday, I wondered a bit why they were making another movie so many years later. After seeing it, I'm still wondering. I'm glad that they didn't try to weave it in closely with the alien mythology that is mostly unremembered even by fans who once sort of understood what was going on (or could at least explain what the confusion was about). However, as standalone episodes go, this was nowhere near good enough to justify the movie length. Possibly psychic pedophile ex-priest? Whatever. A gang of Russians who abduct young women to use their body parts to experiment and try to save one Russian's husband? YAWN. It didn't make much sense (why were they only abducting women if the person they were trying to save with a head transplant was male? Did he have gender identity issues such that he wanted his head on a female body? Why dump all those limbs in a frozen field where even without a psychic they'll be found come the thaw instead of finding a river or feeding them to the two-headed dogs or something? How come the characters appear able to move between Washington and a very snowy part of West Virginia at near-teleport speeds?), but I couldn't really bring myself to care. If the inclusion of stem cell research was an attempt to make the movie feel relevant to the present day, it failed. The FBI agents officially on the case were boring and annoying. With a movie budget, surely they could have expanded the scope beyond Washington, DC and West Virginia.
In terms of the Mulder/Scully ship, however, I was in hog heaven. They're in bed together! They kiss! Scully objects to Mulder's beard (I concur) and he shaves it off! Scully admits to falling in love with Mulder! Huzzah! It's what I waited for all those years during the show, and I desperately wish they'd found a better plot to go with all the shipper goodies.
Other parts I liked about the movie:
-playing a snatch of the theme song while looking at a picture of Dubya posted in the FBI. Aliens or shadowy conspiracies HAD to be involved for that man to become President
-Mulder's pencils stuck in the ceiling
-unexpected Skinner! helpful and moderately badass unexpected Skinner! (although I did nearly burst into badly timed giggles when he was tenderly cradling injured Mulder at the thought of the happy slashers.)
-Scully saves Mulder. Yay!
-the strings and techno beats remix of the theme song over the end credits was kinda nifty
-let me just state again my delight that MULDER & SCULLY DONE SEX.
Overall the movie was thoroughly meh, but I'm glad I saw it anyway just to finally have the fulfilment of the first ship I ever cared about made canon.
Now I'm off to marathon the X-Files S2 I rented from the library, back when a hand on a shoulder counted as serious flirtation, Bill Clinton's picture was on the wall, cell-phones were ginormous, and fluke men ruled the sewers.