This is the most I've posted in months. Go me.
ATTENTION, MIDDLE-EARTH. ESPECIALLY YOU.
Since that faithless bitch Beruthiel is never coming back TO FULFILL HER RUDDY WEDDING VOW TO PROPOGATE THE RIGHTFUL THRONE OF GONDOR, I've decided to adopt. Yes, I have. And none of that messy fucking around with black-market babies from Far Harad or anything. If something's going to spit up on my shoulder and require me to drive away suitors with a shotgun, I say I get some choice in the matter, and I'd rather skip both steps and cut right to the "providing me with grandkids I can spoil" stage of the process.
SO. I have just finished the paperwork formally declaring one Lady Norolinde Imrazorien to be my daughter and one Erchirion Swanhelm Gamgee to be my son. She asked first but he's male, so I'll let their respective descendents fight it out. Always good for a laugh from Mandos.
They're both married already, so I don't have to worry about that whole to-do. And the boy already has kidlets. I APPROVE. Apparently my son-in-law is a werehobbitwolfthing, but eh -- as long as he keeps my grandkids safe, I can overlook that. I'm modern that way.
There! That's all taken care of. Now, to get back to work hosing dw4rf sk4t3rz out of the streets of Osgiliath. Sorry, o Aule my patron god, but really.
Since that faithless bitch Beruthiel is never coming back TO FULFILL HER RUDDY WEDDING VOW TO PROPOGATE THE RIGHTFUL THRONE OF GONDOR, I've decided to adopt. Yes, I have. And none of that messy fucking around with black-market babies from Far Harad or anything. If something's going to spit up on my shoulder and require me to drive away suitors with a shotgun, I say I get some choice in the matter, and I'd rather skip both steps and cut right to the "providing me with grandkids I can spoil" stage of the process.
SO. I have just finished the paperwork formally declaring one Lady Norolinde Imrazorien to be my daughter and one Erchirion Swanhelm Gamgee to be my son. She asked first but he's male, so I'll let their respective descendents fight it out. Always good for a laugh from Mandos.
They're both married already, so I don't have to worry about that whole to-do. And the boy already has kidlets. I APPROVE. Apparently my son-in-law is a werehobbitwolfthing, but eh -- as long as he keeps my grandkids safe, I can overlook that. I'm modern that way.
There! That's all taken care of. Now, to get back to work hosing dw4rf sk4t3rz out of the streets of Osgiliath. Sorry, o Aule my patron god, but really.