(no subject)
i just started writing about stuff and then i started crying and then i went to wash my face and now i dont want to think about it so i just got rid of everything i wrote.
i think things are just overwhelming.
i miss gymnastics a lot lately for some reason. like i'm not talking about any of the people or coaches or anything (even though i do miss them), i just want to do everything. i want to be good again. i feel like my thinking is clearer when thats all i have to focus on. the funny thing is i know that could never happen.
i also really miss my mom, but at the same time i'm starting to hate her. well, i guess hate is way too strong a word. i just really don't know what to think of her anymore. i'm glad that she's happy, but at the same time i don't know how she can be so happy just leaving me. and i don't know what i'm going to do next year. i just feel like i can't move in with them. i can't. i'm not going to be surrounded by the fact that she doesn't care anymore. but i don't really know what other options i have.
i think im going to do volleyball again next year. i dont really know why. but i want to go to the summer practices for some reason.
i hate being a stupid tumbling carpet. could i possibly waste more time? i dont think so. oh and brendan sorry for missing the chase scene... i actually don't know how that happened, but it wont happen again!!
this weekend is going to suuuuck. unless we get a 24 pack of 40s and have a marathon of track kick-its... hahaha JUST KIDDING of course.
yesterday i accidentally took an express bus and ended up downtown at 8 in the morning wearing a skirt. which many old men complimented me on...sdfkjdsf and then i started crying because i didnt know where i was but i got to school eventually haha.
i hung out with kira for a little while, and apparently boys will be very confusing even when im 2 years older. which is no help at all because i already dont know what to do about them. kjsdkj
i wish that i had normal sleeping habits.
and i hope that no one thinks im a complete freak after reading my weirdo entries here, because i just assume that no one reads them.
and i still dont have a phone and its driving me craaazzyyyyyy. ugh.
okay im going to attempt to sleep.
love, tara
i think things are just overwhelming.
i miss gymnastics a lot lately for some reason. like i'm not talking about any of the people or coaches or anything (even though i do miss them), i just want to do everything. i want to be good again. i feel like my thinking is clearer when thats all i have to focus on. the funny thing is i know that could never happen.
i also really miss my mom, but at the same time i'm starting to hate her. well, i guess hate is way too strong a word. i just really don't know what to think of her anymore. i'm glad that she's happy, but at the same time i don't know how she can be so happy just leaving me. and i don't know what i'm going to do next year. i just feel like i can't move in with them. i can't. i'm not going to be surrounded by the fact that she doesn't care anymore. but i don't really know what other options i have.
i think im going to do volleyball again next year. i dont really know why. but i want to go to the summer practices for some reason.
i hate being a stupid tumbling carpet. could i possibly waste more time? i dont think so. oh and brendan sorry for missing the chase scene... i actually don't know how that happened, but it wont happen again!!
this weekend is going to suuuuck. unless we get a 24 pack of 40s and have a marathon of track kick-its... hahaha JUST KIDDING of course.
yesterday i accidentally took an express bus and ended up downtown at 8 in the morning wearing a skirt. which many old men complimented me on...sdfkjdsf and then i started crying because i didnt know where i was but i got to school eventually haha.
i hung out with kira for a little while, and apparently boys will be very confusing even when im 2 years older. which is no help at all because i already dont know what to do about them. kjsdkj
i wish that i had normal sleeping habits.
and i hope that no one thinks im a complete freak after reading my weirdo entries here, because i just assume that no one reads them.
and i still dont have a phone and its driving me craaazzyyyyyy. ugh.
okay im going to attempt to sleep.
love, tara