Love
so today was much less dramatic in my head- thank god. i felt like a crazy person yesterday- i couldn't even cleanse myself through LJ. heather's comment of letting them fade/slip away actually made sense and so i am-
random, but what do you think constitutes love? you see people in love, and see how they interact, and then you see people break up, and yeah, there's that tenseness and awkwardness that naturally happens, but in my head, this is when you can see whether the love was really there. i understand bitterness that comes with breaking up, but if there is love there, i feel like there is a line to be drawn. i guess this is just something that bugs me sometimes, i watch people break up and then one of them runs their mouth off whether true or not, and you think, "wow, they prolly didn't love that person as much as they claimed they did." and then the reaction of the other is even worse, and you wonder why they were together at all. zach posted on myspace how he thinks older men have it together- it made me think- i wonder if this, "omg we broke up and she is seeing someone else and omg like she's such an SOB and omg everyone let me lie about her so that you hate her too-" but there are people i know who i think could carry that into their 30's. i have met 45 gay men who still bitch like their 15 and then known people my age who could drop back into highschool and fit right back in.
people call me boring sometimes. i call it having my head on straight. i care where my life goes. i hav grown up a bit. i have had some roughness in life, and therefor have aged faster- my parents split and it was ugly, my relationship with my dad was harendous, my mom got cancer and my sister took over, i'm gay so that was it's own issue, and i was ugly and awkward for most of my childhood through till college where somehow, my growing up too fast caught up with me and i fit in.
i'ver looked at every phase of my life as simply that: a phase. since i was young it's beent his way. when i was in elementary school i left read for high school, during high school i as ready for college, and now in college, i'm tired of here and the same sights and the same people telling the same jokes to the same people...living in the durham bubble. i'm not negative about UNH yet, but i want to leave being still happy with it.- and i also want a reason to come back to visit, but with the talk going around about me, there may not be people i want to see besides my dancers- it's a pity.
project runway is on right now, this is the last episode b4 the finale which is at Olympus fashion week-
anywho,
i should go practice my tap dance instead of watching tv, so i might- peace-
love.
random, but what do you think constitutes love? you see people in love, and see how they interact, and then you see people break up, and yeah, there's that tenseness and awkwardness that naturally happens, but in my head, this is when you can see whether the love was really there. i understand bitterness that comes with breaking up, but if there is love there, i feel like there is a line to be drawn. i guess this is just something that bugs me sometimes, i watch people break up and then one of them runs their mouth off whether true or not, and you think, "wow, they prolly didn't love that person as much as they claimed they did." and then the reaction of the other is even worse, and you wonder why they were together at all. zach posted on myspace how he thinks older men have it together- it made me think- i wonder if this, "omg we broke up and she is seeing someone else and omg like she's such an SOB and omg everyone let me lie about her so that you hate her too-" but there are people i know who i think could carry that into their 30's. i have met 45 gay men who still bitch like their 15 and then known people my age who could drop back into highschool and fit right back in.
people call me boring sometimes. i call it having my head on straight. i care where my life goes. i hav grown up a bit. i have had some roughness in life, and therefor have aged faster- my parents split and it was ugly, my relationship with my dad was harendous, my mom got cancer and my sister took over, i'm gay so that was it's own issue, and i was ugly and awkward for most of my childhood through till college where somehow, my growing up too fast caught up with me and i fit in.
i'ver looked at every phase of my life as simply that: a phase. since i was young it's beent his way. when i was in elementary school i left read for high school, during high school i as ready for college, and now in college, i'm tired of here and the same sights and the same people telling the same jokes to the same people...living in the durham bubble. i'm not negative about UNH yet, but i want to leave being still happy with it.- and i also want a reason to come back to visit, but with the talk going around about me, there may not be people i want to see besides my dancers- it's a pity.
project runway is on right now, this is the last episode b4 the finale which is at Olympus fashion week-
anywho,
i should go practice my tap dance instead of watching tv, so i might- peace-
love.