I'm here for you, and you're walking away. Just fucking great...
Don't you hate it when you become a last resort? I can't expand on this. I'd like to try, but I know it wouldn't turn out to make any sense at all. Besides I don't know if I want you to know why anyways.
Karen said something to me a few weeks ago. I've been thinking about it every day since. Here was our conversation as I remember it:
Karen: Kaity, you've had to go through this before, how do you deal with it?
Me: I dunno, I just like take all my feelings and toss them and tell myself not to care about anything. It's easier that way.
Karen: You mean you don't care about *the specific thing* or everything in general.
Me: Basically everything in general.
Karen: Ooh that's not good. If you don't care about things then you don't take chances, and life is all about taking chances.
Me: But it's hard.
Janelle: Well life isn't easy.
Karen: *laughs* Yeah, it's like the song "The Dance" by Garth Brooks. That the girl has the chance to dance and has to decide whether or not to. She decides to because she realizes that life is all about the experiences, and if you don't have experiences then you have nothing, and life means nothing to you in the end.
Me: *sits there thinking and almost starts crying because I've wasted 16 years of my life spectating and sitting out the dance and will continue to do so thinking about the future when i'm old and dying and won't have any memories*
Gawd I'm crying now...this sucks. Yes I am being an angsty, self-pittied, oversensitive ass right now, but there is another thing that's bothering me.
My dog is sick. I'm worried about her. Katelyn I'm not sure if it's just a bladder infection. I think she's getting alzheimers or something because she keeps peeing and crapping on the floor all the time instead of asking outside, and she's not feeling well, she puked when I got home after school. Mom wants to take her to Marty's. Everyone in my life is dying off, or getting farther away from me. I swear when I move out I will never have a pet again, I won't have any friends, or a boyfriend/husband because I'll be too scared to have to watch them die someday. I guess that's what's Karen was talking about too. I'm going to be the total opposite of the girl in the dance. You can call me "Hobbit."
I got dosed by you and
Closer than most to you and
What am I supposed to do
Take it away I never had it anyway
Take it away and everything will be okay
In you a star is born and
You cut a perfect form and
Someone forever warm
Lay on lay on lay on lay on
Lay on lay on lay on lay on
Way upon the mountain where she died
All I ever wanted was your life
Deep inside the canyon I can't hide
All I ever wanted was your life
Show love with no remorse and
Climb on to your seahorse and
This ride is right on corse
This is the way I wanted it to be with you
This is the way that I knew that it would be with you
Lay on lay on lay on lay on
Lay on lay on lay on lay on
Way upon the mountain where she died
All I ever wanted was your life
Deep inside the canyon I can't hide
All I ever wanted was your life
I got dosed by you and
Closer than most to you and
What am I supposed to do
Take it away I never had it anyway
Take it away and everything will be okay
Way upon the mountain where she died
All I ever wanted was your life
Deep inside the canyon I can't hide
All I ever wanted was your life
Karen said something to me a few weeks ago. I've been thinking about it every day since. Here was our conversation as I remember it:
Karen: Kaity, you've had to go through this before, how do you deal with it?
Me: I dunno, I just like take all my feelings and toss them and tell myself not to care about anything. It's easier that way.
Karen: You mean you don't care about *the specific thing* or everything in general.
Me: Basically everything in general.
Karen: Ooh that's not good. If you don't care about things then you don't take chances, and life is all about taking chances.
Me: But it's hard.
Janelle: Well life isn't easy.
Karen: *laughs* Yeah, it's like the song "The Dance" by Garth Brooks. That the girl has the chance to dance and has to decide whether or not to. She decides to because she realizes that life is all about the experiences, and if you don't have experiences then you have nothing, and life means nothing to you in the end.
Me: *sits there thinking and almost starts crying because I've wasted 16 years of my life spectating and sitting out the dance and will continue to do so thinking about the future when i'm old and dying and won't have any memories*
Gawd I'm crying now...this sucks. Yes I am being an angsty, self-pittied, oversensitive ass right now, but there is another thing that's bothering me.
My dog is sick. I'm worried about her. Katelyn I'm not sure if it's just a bladder infection. I think she's getting alzheimers or something because she keeps peeing and crapping on the floor all the time instead of asking outside, and she's not feeling well, she puked when I got home after school. Mom wants to take her to Marty's. Everyone in my life is dying off, or getting farther away from me. I swear when I move out I will never have a pet again, I won't have any friends, or a boyfriend/husband because I'll be too scared to have to watch them die someday. I guess that's what's Karen was talking about too. I'm going to be the total opposite of the girl in the dance. You can call me "Hobbit."
I got dosed by you and
Closer than most to you and
What am I supposed to do
Take it away I never had it anyway
Take it away and everything will be okay
In you a star is born and
You cut a perfect form and
Someone forever warm
Lay on lay on lay on lay on
Lay on lay on lay on lay on
Way upon the mountain where she died
All I ever wanted was your life
Deep inside the canyon I can't hide
All I ever wanted was your life
Show love with no remorse and
Climb on to your seahorse and
This ride is right on corse
This is the way I wanted it to be with you
This is the way that I knew that it would be with you
Lay on lay on lay on lay on
Lay on lay on lay on lay on
Way upon the mountain where she died
All I ever wanted was your life
Deep inside the canyon I can't hide
All I ever wanted was your life
I got dosed by you and
Closer than most to you and
What am I supposed to do
Take it away I never had it anyway
Take it away and everything will be okay
Way upon the mountain where she died
All I ever wanted was your life
Deep inside the canyon I can't hide
All I ever wanted was your life