I'm not a total bitch
With Bonni being hit and her subsequent injuries - the outpouring of concern for her and everything plastered on the news...there is something that stays still inside me.
Her age will allow for her to heal faster and better than what people typically think they will.
The pain is relevant - in a few months she won't remember how bad it was.
Medical bills will pile up, her life will change in drastic ways all the way round.
That change will be for the better.
I know these things firsthand, I suppose its why there is this part that stays still inside.
Even the part of being hit by a drunk driver. The only difference being at the time I was hit by a drunk driver and spent the first 2 months at Swedish, in and out of ICU, not expected to survive was there were no laws nor social stigma's attached to drunk driving.
You couldn't qualify for health care due to pre-existing illness so spending $70,000 out of pocket from 1979 to 1994 was part of my life. Sure, I could have bought a house and kept trying to save for one but another surgery would have to be performed and wipe any bit I'd saved.
All that never mattered in the grand scheme and the details of day to day life. What you thought was important suddenly isn't. What you see are chances you won't pass up that you had never even remotely considered before. Bonds with others are precious and to be kept that way if the other person is willing - and even if they aren't. Life changes.
And so it will with Bonni which is why I may seem like a cold bitch about it now by not making much comment - its only due to having truly been there and done that and know she will be a better human for it. I also know the intense pain is forgotten to a degree though there will be bouts where even being young, it will flare up and affect her temporarily. The inner strength you build makes the statement "pain is relevant" a mantra in your life with the ability to get through those spats and continue on, with no one the wiser.
But there is no way to convey this to her or anyone else right now. Times have changed. A drunk driver causing a young woman such great harm and pain for a lifetime was not worth mentioning Feb 19th, 1979 though today it pops up as "news" on a daily basis.
I'm glad it does. There are not enough deterrents for repeat drunk driving offenders - not even when money is awarded out of insurance claims and beyond. The only thing I would consider a true deterrent is for the other person to feel the same pain, be confined to a hospital for a long time, and have money demanded of them at random times with no recourse to not pay it nor recover any of it.
Its time to send my annual "Birthday" card to my surgeon - we celebrate my "birthday" February 19th each year and still contemplate how I've gone against everything they ever thought would happen to my health. Its fun to baffle doctors, especially ones you have come to know over decades.
Bonni will come to know this.
That is the still part inside me.
Her age will allow for her to heal faster and better than what people typically think they will.
The pain is relevant - in a few months she won't remember how bad it was.
Medical bills will pile up, her life will change in drastic ways all the way round.
That change will be for the better.
I know these things firsthand, I suppose its why there is this part that stays still inside.
Even the part of being hit by a drunk driver. The only difference being at the time I was hit by a drunk driver and spent the first 2 months at Swedish, in and out of ICU, not expected to survive was there were no laws nor social stigma's attached to drunk driving.
You couldn't qualify for health care due to pre-existing illness so spending $70,000 out of pocket from 1979 to 1994 was part of my life. Sure, I could have bought a house and kept trying to save for one but another surgery would have to be performed and wipe any bit I'd saved.
All that never mattered in the grand scheme and the details of day to day life. What you thought was important suddenly isn't. What you see are chances you won't pass up that you had never even remotely considered before. Bonds with others are precious and to be kept that way if the other person is willing - and even if they aren't. Life changes.
And so it will with Bonni which is why I may seem like a cold bitch about it now by not making much comment - its only due to having truly been there and done that and know she will be a better human for it. I also know the intense pain is forgotten to a degree though there will be bouts where even being young, it will flare up and affect her temporarily. The inner strength you build makes the statement "pain is relevant" a mantra in your life with the ability to get through those spats and continue on, with no one the wiser.
But there is no way to convey this to her or anyone else right now. Times have changed. A drunk driver causing a young woman such great harm and pain for a lifetime was not worth mentioning Feb 19th, 1979 though today it pops up as "news" on a daily basis.
I'm glad it does. There are not enough deterrents for repeat drunk driving offenders - not even when money is awarded out of insurance claims and beyond. The only thing I would consider a true deterrent is for the other person to feel the same pain, be confined to a hospital for a long time, and have money demanded of them at random times with no recourse to not pay it nor recover any of it.
Its time to send my annual "Birthday" card to my surgeon - we celebrate my "birthday" February 19th each year and still contemplate how I've gone against everything they ever thought would happen to my health. Its fun to baffle doctors, especially ones you have come to know over decades.
Bonni will come to know this.
That is the still part inside me.