The shame of fanfic
I mentioned to a good friend that I hadn't written any poetry for some time, and she remarked, "yes, and then some of your stuff is just fangirl poems" -- by which she meant my fanfiction poetry. Writing fanfiction as a whole, she felt, was "pretty embarrassing".
And that made me realise: it's not embarrassing at all. In fact, I'm rather proud of it.
Sure, I'm not a professional writer. But then, the same friend is not a professional photographer, yet she is deservedly proud of her photography. My husband is not a professional cryptographer, yet he is proud of his puzzle-solving ability. Mr and Mrs Average growing roses in their garden are incredibly proud of those roses, despite not having a horticulture diploma. The point is, as Stephen Fry says in his book about writing poetry, "The Ode Less Travelled": we are all amateurs at something. We all have our hobbies. If nothing else, that at least levels the playing field for a fanfic writer.
What's more, it is a hobby with benefits -- particularly if you are interested in language and writing. I've seen some online writing communities; I've been a part of one. I've seen the complete rubbish that is passed off as "original Fantasy" or sci-fi or what-have-you. These communities are like a gathering of models, where everyone pretends to pay attention to the others, but is really only interested in talking about him/herself. People will review each other's writing, but only to get reviewers for their own. And there is no pressure to perform. After all, the characters are your own, the story and setting are your own -- nobody knows that you have trouble writing sarcastic bad guys, for example, if you never bother writing one. Fanfic is where it gets tough. Fanfic is where your readers will simply not stick around if you fail to get the characters right, if your dialogue rings false, or if you simply don't have anything interesting to say. No writing community or course is ever going to give you the experience that an active fandom provides. Here is a ready-made audience, with a defined niche: here is your chance to test your abilities on an available market. If what you really want is to become a writer, I can't imagine a better set of training wheels.
That is, of course, the mercenary aspect of it. The emotional, creative, fulfilling part is, simply, the application of a skill to something enjoyable. My mother, for instance, can bake far better than a lot of the patisserie owners out there. Yet, she doesn't open a patisserie. Why not? Because she enjoys it, but she also has other skills, like IT, and she prefers to work in that area. Being an amateur does not mean that you are rubbish at something. It means that you are not currently doing something for a living -- not that you can't.
And to get back to the original point: my fanfiction poetry happens to include some of the poems that I'm most satisfied with. Considering the tremendous body of poetry that is based on everything from folk tales to paintings, poetry itself may be an artform particularly well-suited to catching and interpreting that little spark of inspiration that can come from something in the world -- or from something in another creative work. And if poetry can have this right, then so can prose.
And that made me realise: it's not embarrassing at all. In fact, I'm rather proud of it.
Sure, I'm not a professional writer. But then, the same friend is not a professional photographer, yet she is deservedly proud of her photography. My husband is not a professional cryptographer, yet he is proud of his puzzle-solving ability. Mr and Mrs Average growing roses in their garden are incredibly proud of those roses, despite not having a horticulture diploma. The point is, as Stephen Fry says in his book about writing poetry, "The Ode Less Travelled": we are all amateurs at something. We all have our hobbies. If nothing else, that at least levels the playing field for a fanfic writer.
What's more, it is a hobby with benefits -- particularly if you are interested in language and writing. I've seen some online writing communities; I've been a part of one. I've seen the complete rubbish that is passed off as "original Fantasy" or sci-fi or what-have-you. These communities are like a gathering of models, where everyone pretends to pay attention to the others, but is really only interested in talking about him/herself. People will review each other's writing, but only to get reviewers for their own. And there is no pressure to perform. After all, the characters are your own, the story and setting are your own -- nobody knows that you have trouble writing sarcastic bad guys, for example, if you never bother writing one. Fanfic is where it gets tough. Fanfic is where your readers will simply not stick around if you fail to get the characters right, if your dialogue rings false, or if you simply don't have anything interesting to say. No writing community or course is ever going to give you the experience that an active fandom provides. Here is a ready-made audience, with a defined niche: here is your chance to test your abilities on an available market. If what you really want is to become a writer, I can't imagine a better set of training wheels.
That is, of course, the mercenary aspect of it. The emotional, creative, fulfilling part is, simply, the application of a skill to something enjoyable. My mother, for instance, can bake far better than a lot of the patisserie owners out there. Yet, she doesn't open a patisserie. Why not? Because she enjoys it, but she also has other skills, like IT, and she prefers to work in that area. Being an amateur does not mean that you are rubbish at something. It means that you are not currently doing something for a living -- not that you can't.
And to get back to the original point: my fanfiction poetry happens to include some of the poems that I'm most satisfied with. Considering the tremendous body of poetry that is based on everything from folk tales to paintings, poetry itself may be an artform particularly well-suited to catching and interpreting that little spark of inspiration that can come from something in the world -- or from something in another creative work. And if poetry can have this right, then so can prose.