Feb 27, 2008 10:51
Guitar strings are torture to me now. Well not those that I hear in the music that I listen to but seeing someone play their guitar just makes me red with anxiety. I couldn't sit there for long, I had to get up and move somewhere else. especially the imagery of it as a whole, person and guitar, the exact positions; I recognized it instantly for what it was. I wanted to break the instrument.
I got ripped off today for a calculator. The bookstore wanted 40 dollars for a scientific calculator, can you believe it?? I sure couldn't. I feel like a real ass for buying it but I had no choice at the time. My test was in an hour.
I saw herman today, for the first time since fall semester. he just looked at me and gave the smallest smile he possibly could, potentially scared at seeing me for the first time in such a long time. I smiled slightly and it was awkward, but he just passed on by. Now I expect a full shit blasting blog from him right when he gets to a computer. but thankfully I won't be there to read it. If he is desperate enough, he will create a profile that I have not blocked him on to try and talk to me. Or hopefully, he will do nothing at all.
I suppose local Matt is mad at me about brandon. Brandon told me that he gave us this dirty look as he walked out of the lab - obviously I didn't notice and tend not to notice these things about people I really don't care about. I am this passion that people don't seem to have. It shouldn't be confused with a melodramatic gossip machine - it's more of something where I just have to give life to things and situations. I am life. But this anger Matt is showing is unjust. I have been very direct with him over our status, unlike certain people we know, and that we were not to ever become more than just friends. Jealousy is an understandable but not an appropriate feeling in this situation. So if he would like to throw me out and our friendship away because in his distorted reality I betrayed him in some way, let it be. But he owes me 9 dollars for that movie ticket