Fic: Coming Back - 10/?
Title: Coming Back - 10/?
Pairing: Lee/Kara
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Anything up to and including Exodus, Part 2. AU after that.
Summary: Now that Saul’s identity has been revealed, Adama needs to make a decision about the final five. And while Kara rediscovers her relationship with Kacey, a troubling thought sends her looking for answers.
A/N: I hope all who celebrate it had a great Thanksgiving. I gotta admit, I’m pretty happy with where this story is heading, so I hope you all are too. Enjoy this new chapter. I’ll post more during the week or next weekend. I am doing my best to keep my “once a week” promise.
Remember to comment/review. It really is the best motivation!
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It was amazing what a few pencils and paper could do. Kara had ferretted out the wayward supplies from Lee’s desk after Kacey tired of Kara’s dogtags. Worried they would leave, Kara had searched quickly for something else to keep the child occupied. Remembering the few hours one day on the surface when Leoben had left behind art supplies had served as inspiration for their current activity.
Julia appeared content to sit on the sidelines, watching Kara and Kacey in a somewhat reserved silence. It had made Kara tense at first, this casual observation by the child’s rightful mother, but as soon as Kacey had started drawing, chattering away about the different blobs she was embellishing the paper with, Kara forgot all about Julia, Leoben, Sam, even Lee. Her entire world narrowed down to this one little girl.
Of course, Kara had no idea what would happen when Julia and Kacey left. She was uncertain if their impromptu visit would make their parting better or intolerable.
“Kawa.” The soft pat of a hand to her arm brought Kara’s attention back to the room. Glancing over, she caught sight of Kacey, sitting up on her knees, a puzzled expression creasing her two-year-old face. Leaning over, Kara brushed the child’s curls behind one ear and asked, “What is it, baby?”
“Hear-wah.” Kacey proudly held out the picture she had recently finished, beaming with obvious pride.
Kara put down her own pencil and sat up straighter on her knees, to take the image. Unfortunately, the sight of a circle, an oval and two triangles all joined together didn’t give Kara a clue as to what she was looking at. Not that it mattered.
“Is this for me?” Kacey nodded vigorously, still smiling. Kara returned the grin. “Thank you. It’s beautiful. I’ll be sure to hang it up.”
“Auwawa.”
Pausing, Kara felt an inexplicable chill skitter down her back. “What?”
Kacey pointed at the drawing, and then smiled at Kara again and repeated “Auwawa. Kawa an’ Auwawa.”
Glancing back to the picture, Kara began to see the resemblance. She supposed that the circle and oval could be considered a head and body, while the triangles were crude wings, making it similar to the small statue Kacey had handed her in that odd dream she’d had a day ago. Just like before the correlation the child was drawing between her and Aurora, Goddess of the Dawn, left Kara with a sour stomach and a strong desire to bolt.
“Kara?” Julia’s voice startled Kara from her daydreaming. There was something to this strange feeling, this strange vision she got every time she thought of Aurora, a swirling, yellow, red and blue vortex that occupied her mind, calling to her silently. It frightened her.
“Are you all right?”
She swallowed certain she could answer the woman and assure her she was fine. But when she tried, no words came out. The other woman’s puzzled expression turned into a frown and just as she opened her mouth to ask again, the hatch opened, signaling Lee’s return.
“Hi everyone.” Lee’s voice was light and untroubled, a direct contrast to the funnel of doubt currently clouding Kara’s mind. She glanced up at him as he approached, leaning down to press a kiss to her hair. The gesture was so natural, so expected Kara barely thought anything of it.
“Hee, Hee.” Kacey bounced on her heels at Lee’s approach and as soon as he was close enough reached her arms up. Lee paused for a second looking first to Julia who nodded and then to Kara.
She could see the question in his eyes, coupled with a healthy dose of fear; she knew Lee had never really been comfortable around children, which had never made any sense to her since he’d practically raised Zak from the age of three. Regardless of his discomfort, she knew Kacey would cure him of that really quick, just as she had for Kara. She nodded slightly and then Lee was swinging Kacey up into his arms, bringing her up into a high arc that caused the girl to squeal and giggle, making Lee laugh as well.
Kara closed her eyes to the warm sound, doing her best to absorb it into every pore, every cell of her body. It was the happiest sound she had heard from Lee in a while, completely unguarded and open. It pulled at her heart in a way she didn’t fully understand, but she liked it. She wondered if it was the same for Lee, when he saw her with Kacey.
“Did you have fun with Kara?” Lee asked the little girl who had already uncovered Lee’s dogtags and was jingling them just as she had Kara’s an hour ago.
“We draw,” Kacey reported, holding the chain in one hand so she could point to the papers at their feet. “See?”
“I do see,” Lee answered. “Do you want to show me what you drew?”
Kacey nodded and then wiggled, signaling she needed to be put down and Lee obliged easily. As the little girl collected her drawings to her, Lee took a seat beside Kara, placing an arm around her back. She immediately leaned into him, barely even considering how it might appear to Julia. How she might look weak or needy or lovesick by relying on him. Aside from the fact that she doubted Julia would think any of those things, Kara found she didn’t really care if anyone did. She was starting to care less and less actually about other people’s perceptions. She wasn’t going to ignore her instincts anymore, not with Lee. Ignoring them had never worked for the two of them before.
Kacey started rattling off her drawings, a house, a tree, a flower and Lee listened intently, noting the child’s artistic acumen dutifully. He looked to Kara when the child paused to take a breath, brows knitted together. “Everything okay?” he asked under his breath, the arm around her waist tightening imperceptibly.
She nodded, finding it wasn’t that hard to give him a smile as well. “Yeah, I’m good. Sorry we drew on your old schedules.” She ducked her head, expecting at least a slight chiding from him.
Instead, he laughed again and it was just as carefree as it had been with Kacey. “They’ve never looked better,” he told her, pressing a kiss to the skin just above her ear. Kara released a sigh and turned into him even more, watching as Kacey sifted through the rest of her drawings.
She didn’t even think of trying to stop the girl before she got to the last one. “This Kawa and Auwawa,” the girl told Lee proudly, holding up the final drawing she had given to Kara.
Puzzled, Lee looked to Kara before turning to Julia. “Auwawa?” he asked, obviously not well-versed in two-year-old.
Julia shrugged. “I’m not sure what she’s trying to say exactly. I’ve never heard her use that word before.”
“It’s Aurora,” Kara explained softly, taking the drawing from the girl and placing it in her lap. “She’s saying Aurora.”
“Like the goddess?” Lee asked, still puzzled.
“We don’t even attend services,” Julia answered. Rising, she took a seat beside her daughter. The girl crawled easily into her mother’s lap. Kara pretended not to notice. “Where did you hear that word, Kace?”
The girl shrugged, shoulders reaching her ears. “Dunno. For Kawa.”
Kara swallowed hard, still uncertain why a child’s drawing should bother her so. Of course, it had nothing to do with Kacey and everything to do with that dream she didn’t want to remember.
Rubbing a hand to her forehead, Kara tried to force her thoughts into some type of order, but it was futile. She didn’t understand what any of this meant and now, she was simply tired once more.
“I think we should be going,” Julia said quietly even as Kacey protested with a whiny, “No.”
“Yes, Kacey. It’s almost time for your nap and we’ve taken up enough of Kara’s time today.”
“It’s not a problem,” Kara assured her, meeting the woman’s gaze intently. “I really don’t mind.”
Julia smiled. “I know, Kara. But someone needs to take a n-a-p.” Julia tilted her head in Kacey’s direction. “And I’d like us to get out of here without a complete meltdown.”
Kara returned the smile. “Totally understandable.”
The phone rang as Julia and Kacey were cleaning up the drawing supplies and Lee answered it, frowning as soon as he hung up the phone.
“Everything okay?” Kara asked.
Lee nodded. “Yeah, it was dad. He wants me to report to the brig.”
Kara couldn’t help but give him a slight jab. “What’d you do now?”
“Ha, ha.” Lee crossed back to her side and pulled her into his arms as if this was something they did every day, as if this was something they hadn’t just started doing three days ago. But despite the newness, Kara liked it. “Apparently, there’s something new with Anders and Tyrol. Not sure what, but Dad didn’t sound good.”
Kara frowned. “You should get going then.”
He paused, meeting her eyes, before glancing back to Julia and Kacey who were ready to go. “I don’t want to leave you here by yourself.”
Kara didn’t want him to either, but she’d never admit it. “Come on, Adama. I’m a big girl, I think I can handle being alone for an hour.” They both knew recent history would severely call that assumption into question.
“I-“
“Actually, you know what? I’ll walk Julia and Kacey back to Camp Oil Slick, how about that?”
Turning, Kara glanced to Julia. “Do you mind?”
“Not at all. It’d be nice for us to chat a bit.” Kacey was already nodding off in her mother’s arms. “I think this one might finally be down for the count.”
Kara smiled tightly, trying to shove down the jealousy she felt at watching the sleeping girl with her mother. Besides, there were other reasons she needed to go to that camp. She was using Julia and Kacey as a cover. Given that less than stellar intent, her jealousy felt more than a little hypocritical.
Lee wasn’t convinced; Kara could read his skepticism in every line of his body. She chose to ignore it. Leaning up on her tiptoes, she brushed a kiss to his cheek and then joined Julia and Kacey at the door. “I’ll see you when you get back from your meeting, okay?”
He nodded, still looking uncertain. “Yeah, okay. If you’re sure?”
“Adama, you ask me that one more time and I’ll use my fists to show you how sure I am.”
It was a familiar threat for the two of them and it brought a smile to Lee’s face. Holding up his hands, he acquiesced. “All right, all right. Point taken. I guess we’re all heading out then. Shall we?”
Kara nodded, following Julia outside, with Lee close behind. The odd dread she felt at the mention of Aurora was back as she considered what she was about to do. Asking the Oracle was not her first, second or even third choice, but Kara had an odd feeling that the woman would know something.
She was also fairly certain she wouldn’t want to know whatever it was.
---- ----
Lee hadn’t expected this, and considering how unpredictable life had been in the past few months, being blindsided like this was a feat. But he was standing here, staring at Tryol, Anders who had recently been moved from Life Station and Saul Tigh all in the brig. All Cylons. Three of the final five. And if Tight was to be trusted, a fact that was now severely called into question, than Ellen was the last missing piece of the puzzle.
“It is up to you now, Saul. Up to you to convince Bill and the rest of the Fleet that despite the actions of the other eight models, we, the Final Five are not a threat. We are different. In so many ways I can’t possibly reiterate them all, but we are. And we mean the Fleet, we mean humanity no harm.” Saul spoke his wife’s words with a reverence Lee had never heard from him before.
He eyed his father carefully as Tigh finished rereading the letter that spelled everything out. Lee had never quite understood the Old Man’s attachment to Saul. He was a fairly sorry excuse for an XO and a sloppy drunk, but something had transpired between his father and this man to make them best friends. Lee had only ever heard bits and pieces of stories from the first Cylon War, from the early days of battle when Tigh and his father had shared a bunkroom. He knew war could forge strange and lasting bonds.
But now, as he watched his father watching Tigh, Lee saw more there than he expected. There was anger and disappointment and betrayal of course, but perhaps what struck Lee harder than anything was the utter sadness shining in his dad’s eyes as he gazed on a man he had called friend for over four decades. Lee’s hatred for the cylons grew exponentially in that moment; they had already threatened and nearly destroyed the woman he loved and now, in the span of a few hastily written sentences, it appeared they had ruined his father as well.
Silence filled the space, laced with so much tension Lee had to fight to take a deep breath. The three captives glanced to one another uncertainly, before looking back to the three leaders on the other side of the bars. Lee, Roslin and Adama locked gazes as well.
“Do you believe it?” Lee asked, already certain he knew the answer. His father would have escorted Tigh to an airlock hours ago if he thought for a second the man was a true danger to the fleet. Friendship or no, Lee knew his father.
“Despite the evidence, yes.” Adama’s voice was weary. He glanced to Lee before quickly looking away and meeting the president’s gaze instead. Lee felt a tiny of flare of hurt at his father’s lack of connection, but stifled it fast. He could only imagine the jumble of emotions and thoughts coursing through his father’s mind and heart at this moment. “But I still don’t understand how any of this relates to Kara.”
“I have no interest in Starbuck,” Tigh avowed. “You’ll need to ask Anders about that one.”
Lee’s eyes immediately fell to Kara’s husband. Their talk of a few hours before kept him from feeling his normal stab of anger at the mere sight of the man. However, the scene from a few days ago, with Kara strapped to a chair and all but comatose because of Sam’s actions brought his rage to the forefront.
“You still haven’t provided us with a satisfactory explanation, Mister Anders.” The president addressed him coolly, the steel and grit Lee had come to associate with her time in office easily coming through. “Care to try now?”
Something close to despair registered on the man’s face before he dipped his head and avoided everyone’s gaze. “I can’t, Madam President, truly. All I know is that once I heard that frakkin’ song, all I could think about was getting to Kara and getting her off this ship.”
“To what end?” Lee demanded.
Sam just shrugged.
“Actually, sir, I might have the answer to that.”
Tyrol spoke hesitantly, but his words brought everyone’s focus to him. Cheeks blushing a deep shade of crimson, he ducked his head and told them, “I think I might have done something to Starbuck’s bird.”
The statement chilled Lee’s blood, a dozen bloody and explosive scenes playing in his mind’s eye. Suddenly, his father grounding Starbuck seemed like divine intervention.
“Why didn’t you say something before now, Chief?” Lee wasn’t sure how his father managed not to scream at the other man, demanding answers.
“Honestly, sir, I didn’t know. But the more we’ve talked, and now with Ellen’s letter, I don’t know, things just started to get clearer. It’s like I get these flashes. At first I thought maybe they were just remnants of a dream or something, but now I can see they’re real.” He raised deep brown eyes to Lee as he said, “I swear, sir, I never meant her any harm.”
“Maybe you didn’t but your brethren did,” Lee shot back, feeling a spike of anger-fueled adrenaline bursting through his limbs. It forced him to move, pacing an angry path before the cell. “What’s wrong with her plane?”
“I-“
Lee spun on his heel and marched to the clear plexiglass, slapping his open fist against it and halting the man’s words. “If you say, ‘I don’t know’ one more time, I swear they’ll be the last words you ever utter.”
“Lee!”
He held his ground despite his father’s warning, staring Tyrol down until the other man slinked away from the barrier and fell heavily on the cot across the way. His obvious remorse did nothing to abate Lee’s growing rage.
“Lee, why don’t you head down to the deck and inspect Kara’s bird?” His father rested a heavy hand to his shoulder, squeezing hard enough to bruise. “The president and I will finish up here.”
Stifling his initial instinct to tell his father to ‘frak off,’ Lee shrugged out of his grip and headed for the exit in silence. The more distance he put between himself and the sleeper cylons, the more his anger devolved into panic. Apparently, the cylon’s goal to reacquire Kara went beyond an ill-advised kidnapping attempt and four-months of forced domesticity on New Caprica. While he wanted to know what had been done to her bird, Lee feared the knowledge would only lead to more worry and anxiety. He already had an irrational urge to keep Kara locked in quarters until things started making sense again. Lee worried another layer of exposed threat might lead him to smuggling her onto a raptor and jumping the hell away from the fleet.
These thoughts followed him to the deck, where he found her bird easily. A quick perusal of the fuselage and cockpit turned up nothing. Lee shrugged out of his uniform jacket, draping it over a nearby ladder before wheeling over a tool cart laden with the typical maintenance equipment pilots used during shift. He didn’t relish the idea of dismantling her Viper by himself. For one thing, one set of eyes meant he could miss something; for another, it would take at least three hours to complete the job, closer to five if he wanted to be thorough and Lee was already missing her. He didn’t like the thought of being separated from Kara for that long. Not when she was still so fragile; not when their truce was still so tentative.
“Major?”
Lee turned abruptly at the sound of his rank and was faced with Cally’s pale features. The anger he felt toward her husband seemed cruel and out of place when confronted with her forlorn expression and obvious pain at his betrayal. Lee added the destroying of families to his growing list of grievances against the cylons.
“Cally, I-“ He knew whatever he might say would be more than inadequate, but Lee felt compelled to offer some type of condolence. He wondered if there was a greeting card somewhere in the ashes of the colonies for such an instance: “So sorry to hear you’ve been betrayed by person you love. You are in my thoughts and prayers.”
“Apollo, if it’s all the same to you, I’d really like to not talk about it.” Despite her small stature and inherent fragility, there was a core of steel running through Cally that Lee had witnessed a few times and was witnessing once again. And he respected it.
“Of course, Cally.” He tried not to feel a twinge of guilt at the flood of relief that accompanied her statement. Gods, but he was a coward.
She nodded sharply before clearing her throat, dropping an indifferent mask over delicate features. “Good, now, sir, is there something I can help you with?”
Lee returned the nod. “We need to do a complete diagnostic on Kara’s bird. I’d really appreciate some help.”
“Is there something in particular you’re looking for?” she asked, stepping up beside Lee and studying the tools he’d gathered.
He let his gaze roam over the ship, his eyes settling on Kara’s nameplate just below the canopy. “Something that doesn’t belong.”
---- ----
Kara had been to Camp Oil Slick a handful of times following the exodus. Twice she had snuck down to the lower deck in the middle of the night shift, seeking out Kacey and Julia, trying to work up enough courage to approach them, to ask how they were and see if by some miracle she might be able to spend time with the child who had saved her life in the final weeks of her captivity. She had never made it past the door.
Another time she had found refuge in an abandoned storage closet, holed up with a bottle of ambrosia and her sidearm. She had been looking for a place to hide from Sam, knowing he was looking for her, knowing he wanted to spend time with his wife. It had been just a few weeks following the exodus, when Kara still became almost violently ill at the thought of anyone touching her. It had taken her almost a month to even tolerate Sam holding her hand; two months before she had managed to figure out how to frak him without feeling anything.
The last time she’d been down here she’d attended a service. Hoodie pulled up over her head, and all signs of rank hidden or absent, Kara had snuck into the back of the makeshift temple, really just a cordoned off section of the deck with a few rows of benches and a makeshift altar, and listened as the Oracle had recited from the scrolls of Pythia. It had been years since Kara had attended a formal service of any kind, but the prayers came back to her easily and she recited them faithfully with the other believers gathered there. But the Oracle’s sermon about destiny and the Gods’ plan had sent her hurrying away before the service officially ended. By the time she’d hit the corridor, she’d all but stripped out of her hoodie, sweating heavily as she sprinted across the deck and back up the five flights of stairs. Unable to fathom seeing anyone or trying to explain, Kara had spent the few hours following huddled in a corner of the hangar bay, staring at her bird and wondering how far she could get before anyone noticed.
She stood now outside of the Oracle’s tent uncertain. What exactly she had to fear Kara didn’t know, but coming here meant something. It meant she was opening herself to the possibility that something more than her own free will was at work in her life. For about the fifth time since she’d said goodbye to Julia and Kacey, Kara wished she’d asked Lee to come along. But just as she had four times prior, Kara dismissed the idea quickly.
He had never had her faith, not in the Gods or the scripture. He had never truly believed that there was a higher power working in the universe, dictating events that affected him or his daily life. Lee had always been a firm believer in the power of choice, not fate. And while he would have come if she’d asked, he wouldn’t have listened, wouldn’t have opened himself to the possibility that the Oracle might be right. And he wouldn’t understand how Kara could either.
Forcing herself to go through with it, Kara pushed aside the heavy canvas flap of the tent and stepped into the dim interior. The heady scent of incense and burning candles overwhelmed her, forcing Kara to stop just a few steps inside and take a steadying breath. It also gave her eyes time to adjust. Sitting a few feet away on a pile of rags was the Oracle, her eyes closed in concentration, a few crystals and totems carefully arranged on the low table before her.
Unwilling to disturb her, Kara considered retreating, but the woman stopped her. “Come in, Kara Thrace. Find the answers you seek.”
Despite her faith, it was still creepy when members of the clergy could read minds and/or name names without even setting eyes on a person. Shoving her discomfort aside, Kara knelt onto a pillow placed opposite the Oracle and the small altar. As she came down to the woman’s level, she opened her eyes, milky green orbs regarding Kara calmly.
She stared for a handful of minutes, Kara’s discomfort growing tenfold as every second passed. This had been such a mistake, she knew that now. She knew that whatever the Oracle said, Kara would take it as gospel, no matter how crazy, damning or frightening it seemed. She wanted to believe she could maintain some semblance of rationality, but Kara knew it wasn’t possible, not when it came to this; not when it came to faith.
“You should not be afraid of the truth, Kara Thrace,” the Oracle said quietly. Placing her hands palms up on the table before her, she added, “The truth cannot hurt you.”
It had been Kara’s experience that truth and lies hurt just about the same, but she bit her tongue to keep the sarcastic remark inside.
“Place your palms on top of mine,” the Oracle commanded, taking a deep breath and closing her eyes once more.
Kara hesitated for a second before slowly resting her palms atop the Oracle’s. The woman’s skin was warm and dry, only serving to remind Kara of how clammy and cold her own skin was. No sooner had they touched skin to skin than the other woman hummed softly and murmured, “Aurora.”
Jerking back as if shocked, Kara fell back on her butt. “What?” she breathed.
The sage woman appeared not to hear her or simply chose to ignore her. “Aurora, goddess of the dawn and first light. She heralds the arrival of a new day, banishing the darkness, and clearing a path for Apollo to bring the sun.”
Kara forced herself to breath evenly, as the woman’s eyes opened again to regard her. “Apollo needs Aurora, just as Aurora needs him. One means nothing without the other. Incomplete halves of the same whole. Why would you fear that?”
She tried to answer her, tried to form words around the lump in her throat, but Kara couldn’t. The Oracle’s all-seeing eyes simply continued to stare, at times appearing to stare into her soul or heart with obvious understanding.
“Ah, you believe you will suffer once more.” The Oracle nodded as she uttered the words, as if something was now suddenly clear. Turning, she rummaged through a crate behind her, pulling out three smooth stones and placing them carefully on the table before her. “You fear your instincts. Fear that the uncertainty you feel is rational and justified, fear that you are tempting the gods again and this time, Apollo will burn you beyond repair. Fear that the false one told you truths.”
She stared at the stones in silence as Kara struggled to breath, struggled to process her words. Each statement made her heart flutter. They were all true observations, every single one. Kara knew she was not worthy of the love or security she craved from Lee; knew that if Leoben should come for her again his torment was no less than she deserved.
“You fear that your mother was right, in spite of the fact that the only legacy she left you with was fear and pain. Fear that things that are too good to be true really are.”
The Oracle lifted the middle stone from the table, pressing it to her forehead, before repeating the sequence with the other two rocks. She hummed something under her breath, words Kara couldn’t make out, as she lightly ran her hands over the crystals and stones on the altar. Slowly at first, her fingers traced the lines of each small talisman as she continued to hum, muttering words that could have been Caprican, but could easily have been Tauron or Gemonese. Kara watched fascinated as the woman’s movements became sure and sharp and she moved the pieces of ephemera around the table reorganizing them into another pattern.
Sitting forward on her knees again, Kara was trying to decipher meaning from the objects as the Oracle opened her eyes and smiled before casting her own glance downward.
“He is coming for you, Kara Thrace,” she said quietly, tone even as if she were relaying the weather. The words caused Kara’s heart to stutter in her chest. “But you do not need to fear him. You have all you need here and now. Aurora and Apollo must walk hand in hand to bring light to the day. Light cast into the darkness removes the shadows and burns away the fog. You must embrace the light, Kara Thrace.”
She inhaled a sharp breath as the woman’s eyes snapped to her face, her expression now hard and deliberate. “Embrace the light or the darkness will consume you. And He will win.”
---- ----
Pairing: Lee/Kara
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Anything up to and including Exodus, Part 2. AU after that.
Summary: Now that Saul’s identity has been revealed, Adama needs to make a decision about the final five. And while Kara rediscovers her relationship with Kacey, a troubling thought sends her looking for answers.
A/N: I hope all who celebrate it had a great Thanksgiving. I gotta admit, I’m pretty happy with where this story is heading, so I hope you all are too. Enjoy this new chapter. I’ll post more during the week or next weekend. I am doing my best to keep my “once a week” promise.
Remember to comment/review. It really is the best motivation!
---- ----
It was amazing what a few pencils and paper could do. Kara had ferretted out the wayward supplies from Lee’s desk after Kacey tired of Kara’s dogtags. Worried they would leave, Kara had searched quickly for something else to keep the child occupied. Remembering the few hours one day on the surface when Leoben had left behind art supplies had served as inspiration for their current activity.
Julia appeared content to sit on the sidelines, watching Kara and Kacey in a somewhat reserved silence. It had made Kara tense at first, this casual observation by the child’s rightful mother, but as soon as Kacey had started drawing, chattering away about the different blobs she was embellishing the paper with, Kara forgot all about Julia, Leoben, Sam, even Lee. Her entire world narrowed down to this one little girl.
Of course, Kara had no idea what would happen when Julia and Kacey left. She was uncertain if their impromptu visit would make their parting better or intolerable.
“Kawa.” The soft pat of a hand to her arm brought Kara’s attention back to the room. Glancing over, she caught sight of Kacey, sitting up on her knees, a puzzled expression creasing her two-year-old face. Leaning over, Kara brushed the child’s curls behind one ear and asked, “What is it, baby?”
“Hear-wah.” Kacey proudly held out the picture she had recently finished, beaming with obvious pride.
Kara put down her own pencil and sat up straighter on her knees, to take the image. Unfortunately, the sight of a circle, an oval and two triangles all joined together didn’t give Kara a clue as to what she was looking at. Not that it mattered.
“Is this for me?” Kacey nodded vigorously, still smiling. Kara returned the grin. “Thank you. It’s beautiful. I’ll be sure to hang it up.”
“Auwawa.”
Pausing, Kara felt an inexplicable chill skitter down her back. “What?”
Kacey pointed at the drawing, and then smiled at Kara again and repeated “Auwawa. Kawa an’ Auwawa.”
Glancing back to the picture, Kara began to see the resemblance. She supposed that the circle and oval could be considered a head and body, while the triangles were crude wings, making it similar to the small statue Kacey had handed her in that odd dream she’d had a day ago. Just like before the correlation the child was drawing between her and Aurora, Goddess of the Dawn, left Kara with a sour stomach and a strong desire to bolt.
“Kara?” Julia’s voice startled Kara from her daydreaming. There was something to this strange feeling, this strange vision she got every time she thought of Aurora, a swirling, yellow, red and blue vortex that occupied her mind, calling to her silently. It frightened her.
“Are you all right?”
She swallowed certain she could answer the woman and assure her she was fine. But when she tried, no words came out. The other woman’s puzzled expression turned into a frown and just as she opened her mouth to ask again, the hatch opened, signaling Lee’s return.
“Hi everyone.” Lee’s voice was light and untroubled, a direct contrast to the funnel of doubt currently clouding Kara’s mind. She glanced up at him as he approached, leaning down to press a kiss to her hair. The gesture was so natural, so expected Kara barely thought anything of it.
“Hee, Hee.” Kacey bounced on her heels at Lee’s approach and as soon as he was close enough reached her arms up. Lee paused for a second looking first to Julia who nodded and then to Kara.
She could see the question in his eyes, coupled with a healthy dose of fear; she knew Lee had never really been comfortable around children, which had never made any sense to her since he’d practically raised Zak from the age of three. Regardless of his discomfort, she knew Kacey would cure him of that really quick, just as she had for Kara. She nodded slightly and then Lee was swinging Kacey up into his arms, bringing her up into a high arc that caused the girl to squeal and giggle, making Lee laugh as well.
Kara closed her eyes to the warm sound, doing her best to absorb it into every pore, every cell of her body. It was the happiest sound she had heard from Lee in a while, completely unguarded and open. It pulled at her heart in a way she didn’t fully understand, but she liked it. She wondered if it was the same for Lee, when he saw her with Kacey.
“Did you have fun with Kara?” Lee asked the little girl who had already uncovered Lee’s dogtags and was jingling them just as she had Kara’s an hour ago.
“We draw,” Kacey reported, holding the chain in one hand so she could point to the papers at their feet. “See?”
“I do see,” Lee answered. “Do you want to show me what you drew?”
Kacey nodded and then wiggled, signaling she needed to be put down and Lee obliged easily. As the little girl collected her drawings to her, Lee took a seat beside Kara, placing an arm around her back. She immediately leaned into him, barely even considering how it might appear to Julia. How she might look weak or needy or lovesick by relying on him. Aside from the fact that she doubted Julia would think any of those things, Kara found she didn’t really care if anyone did. She was starting to care less and less actually about other people’s perceptions. She wasn’t going to ignore her instincts anymore, not with Lee. Ignoring them had never worked for the two of them before.
Kacey started rattling off her drawings, a house, a tree, a flower and Lee listened intently, noting the child’s artistic acumen dutifully. He looked to Kara when the child paused to take a breath, brows knitted together. “Everything okay?” he asked under his breath, the arm around her waist tightening imperceptibly.
She nodded, finding it wasn’t that hard to give him a smile as well. “Yeah, I’m good. Sorry we drew on your old schedules.” She ducked her head, expecting at least a slight chiding from him.
Instead, he laughed again and it was just as carefree as it had been with Kacey. “They’ve never looked better,” he told her, pressing a kiss to the skin just above her ear. Kara released a sigh and turned into him even more, watching as Kacey sifted through the rest of her drawings.
She didn’t even think of trying to stop the girl before she got to the last one. “This Kawa and Auwawa,” the girl told Lee proudly, holding up the final drawing she had given to Kara.
Puzzled, Lee looked to Kara before turning to Julia. “Auwawa?” he asked, obviously not well-versed in two-year-old.
Julia shrugged. “I’m not sure what she’s trying to say exactly. I’ve never heard her use that word before.”
“It’s Aurora,” Kara explained softly, taking the drawing from the girl and placing it in her lap. “She’s saying Aurora.”
“Like the goddess?” Lee asked, still puzzled.
“We don’t even attend services,” Julia answered. Rising, she took a seat beside her daughter. The girl crawled easily into her mother’s lap. Kara pretended not to notice. “Where did you hear that word, Kace?”
The girl shrugged, shoulders reaching her ears. “Dunno. For Kawa.”
Kara swallowed hard, still uncertain why a child’s drawing should bother her so. Of course, it had nothing to do with Kacey and everything to do with that dream she didn’t want to remember.
Rubbing a hand to her forehead, Kara tried to force her thoughts into some type of order, but it was futile. She didn’t understand what any of this meant and now, she was simply tired once more.
“I think we should be going,” Julia said quietly even as Kacey protested with a whiny, “No.”
“Yes, Kacey. It’s almost time for your nap and we’ve taken up enough of Kara’s time today.”
“It’s not a problem,” Kara assured her, meeting the woman’s gaze intently. “I really don’t mind.”
Julia smiled. “I know, Kara. But someone needs to take a n-a-p.” Julia tilted her head in Kacey’s direction. “And I’d like us to get out of here without a complete meltdown.”
Kara returned the smile. “Totally understandable.”
The phone rang as Julia and Kacey were cleaning up the drawing supplies and Lee answered it, frowning as soon as he hung up the phone.
“Everything okay?” Kara asked.
Lee nodded. “Yeah, it was dad. He wants me to report to the brig.”
Kara couldn’t help but give him a slight jab. “What’d you do now?”
“Ha, ha.” Lee crossed back to her side and pulled her into his arms as if this was something they did every day, as if this was something they hadn’t just started doing three days ago. But despite the newness, Kara liked it. “Apparently, there’s something new with Anders and Tyrol. Not sure what, but Dad didn’t sound good.”
Kara frowned. “You should get going then.”
He paused, meeting her eyes, before glancing back to Julia and Kacey who were ready to go. “I don’t want to leave you here by yourself.”
Kara didn’t want him to either, but she’d never admit it. “Come on, Adama. I’m a big girl, I think I can handle being alone for an hour.” They both knew recent history would severely call that assumption into question.
“I-“
“Actually, you know what? I’ll walk Julia and Kacey back to Camp Oil Slick, how about that?”
Turning, Kara glanced to Julia. “Do you mind?”
“Not at all. It’d be nice for us to chat a bit.” Kacey was already nodding off in her mother’s arms. “I think this one might finally be down for the count.”
Kara smiled tightly, trying to shove down the jealousy she felt at watching the sleeping girl with her mother. Besides, there were other reasons she needed to go to that camp. She was using Julia and Kacey as a cover. Given that less than stellar intent, her jealousy felt more than a little hypocritical.
Lee wasn’t convinced; Kara could read his skepticism in every line of his body. She chose to ignore it. Leaning up on her tiptoes, she brushed a kiss to his cheek and then joined Julia and Kacey at the door. “I’ll see you when you get back from your meeting, okay?”
He nodded, still looking uncertain. “Yeah, okay. If you’re sure?”
“Adama, you ask me that one more time and I’ll use my fists to show you how sure I am.”
It was a familiar threat for the two of them and it brought a smile to Lee’s face. Holding up his hands, he acquiesced. “All right, all right. Point taken. I guess we’re all heading out then. Shall we?”
Kara nodded, following Julia outside, with Lee close behind. The odd dread she felt at the mention of Aurora was back as she considered what she was about to do. Asking the Oracle was not her first, second or even third choice, but Kara had an odd feeling that the woman would know something.
She was also fairly certain she wouldn’t want to know whatever it was.
---- ----
Lee hadn’t expected this, and considering how unpredictable life had been in the past few months, being blindsided like this was a feat. But he was standing here, staring at Tryol, Anders who had recently been moved from Life Station and Saul Tigh all in the brig. All Cylons. Three of the final five. And if Tight was to be trusted, a fact that was now severely called into question, than Ellen was the last missing piece of the puzzle.
“It is up to you now, Saul. Up to you to convince Bill and the rest of the Fleet that despite the actions of the other eight models, we, the Final Five are not a threat. We are different. In so many ways I can’t possibly reiterate them all, but we are. And we mean the Fleet, we mean humanity no harm.” Saul spoke his wife’s words with a reverence Lee had never heard from him before.
He eyed his father carefully as Tigh finished rereading the letter that spelled everything out. Lee had never quite understood the Old Man’s attachment to Saul. He was a fairly sorry excuse for an XO and a sloppy drunk, but something had transpired between his father and this man to make them best friends. Lee had only ever heard bits and pieces of stories from the first Cylon War, from the early days of battle when Tigh and his father had shared a bunkroom. He knew war could forge strange and lasting bonds.
But now, as he watched his father watching Tigh, Lee saw more there than he expected. There was anger and disappointment and betrayal of course, but perhaps what struck Lee harder than anything was the utter sadness shining in his dad’s eyes as he gazed on a man he had called friend for over four decades. Lee’s hatred for the cylons grew exponentially in that moment; they had already threatened and nearly destroyed the woman he loved and now, in the span of a few hastily written sentences, it appeared they had ruined his father as well.
Silence filled the space, laced with so much tension Lee had to fight to take a deep breath. The three captives glanced to one another uncertainly, before looking back to the three leaders on the other side of the bars. Lee, Roslin and Adama locked gazes as well.
“Do you believe it?” Lee asked, already certain he knew the answer. His father would have escorted Tigh to an airlock hours ago if he thought for a second the man was a true danger to the fleet. Friendship or no, Lee knew his father.
“Despite the evidence, yes.” Adama’s voice was weary. He glanced to Lee before quickly looking away and meeting the president’s gaze instead. Lee felt a tiny of flare of hurt at his father’s lack of connection, but stifled it fast. He could only imagine the jumble of emotions and thoughts coursing through his father’s mind and heart at this moment. “But I still don’t understand how any of this relates to Kara.”
“I have no interest in Starbuck,” Tigh avowed. “You’ll need to ask Anders about that one.”
Lee’s eyes immediately fell to Kara’s husband. Their talk of a few hours before kept him from feeling his normal stab of anger at the mere sight of the man. However, the scene from a few days ago, with Kara strapped to a chair and all but comatose because of Sam’s actions brought his rage to the forefront.
“You still haven’t provided us with a satisfactory explanation, Mister Anders.” The president addressed him coolly, the steel and grit Lee had come to associate with her time in office easily coming through. “Care to try now?”
Something close to despair registered on the man’s face before he dipped his head and avoided everyone’s gaze. “I can’t, Madam President, truly. All I know is that once I heard that frakkin’ song, all I could think about was getting to Kara and getting her off this ship.”
“To what end?” Lee demanded.
Sam just shrugged.
“Actually, sir, I might have the answer to that.”
Tyrol spoke hesitantly, but his words brought everyone’s focus to him. Cheeks blushing a deep shade of crimson, he ducked his head and told them, “I think I might have done something to Starbuck’s bird.”
The statement chilled Lee’s blood, a dozen bloody and explosive scenes playing in his mind’s eye. Suddenly, his father grounding Starbuck seemed like divine intervention.
“Why didn’t you say something before now, Chief?” Lee wasn’t sure how his father managed not to scream at the other man, demanding answers.
“Honestly, sir, I didn’t know. But the more we’ve talked, and now with Ellen’s letter, I don’t know, things just started to get clearer. It’s like I get these flashes. At first I thought maybe they were just remnants of a dream or something, but now I can see they’re real.” He raised deep brown eyes to Lee as he said, “I swear, sir, I never meant her any harm.”
“Maybe you didn’t but your brethren did,” Lee shot back, feeling a spike of anger-fueled adrenaline bursting through his limbs. It forced him to move, pacing an angry path before the cell. “What’s wrong with her plane?”
“I-“
Lee spun on his heel and marched to the clear plexiglass, slapping his open fist against it and halting the man’s words. “If you say, ‘I don’t know’ one more time, I swear they’ll be the last words you ever utter.”
“Lee!”
He held his ground despite his father’s warning, staring Tyrol down until the other man slinked away from the barrier and fell heavily on the cot across the way. His obvious remorse did nothing to abate Lee’s growing rage.
“Lee, why don’t you head down to the deck and inspect Kara’s bird?” His father rested a heavy hand to his shoulder, squeezing hard enough to bruise. “The president and I will finish up here.”
Stifling his initial instinct to tell his father to ‘frak off,’ Lee shrugged out of his grip and headed for the exit in silence. The more distance he put between himself and the sleeper cylons, the more his anger devolved into panic. Apparently, the cylon’s goal to reacquire Kara went beyond an ill-advised kidnapping attempt and four-months of forced domesticity on New Caprica. While he wanted to know what had been done to her bird, Lee feared the knowledge would only lead to more worry and anxiety. He already had an irrational urge to keep Kara locked in quarters until things started making sense again. Lee worried another layer of exposed threat might lead him to smuggling her onto a raptor and jumping the hell away from the fleet.
These thoughts followed him to the deck, where he found her bird easily. A quick perusal of the fuselage and cockpit turned up nothing. Lee shrugged out of his uniform jacket, draping it over a nearby ladder before wheeling over a tool cart laden with the typical maintenance equipment pilots used during shift. He didn’t relish the idea of dismantling her Viper by himself. For one thing, one set of eyes meant he could miss something; for another, it would take at least three hours to complete the job, closer to five if he wanted to be thorough and Lee was already missing her. He didn’t like the thought of being separated from Kara for that long. Not when she was still so fragile; not when their truce was still so tentative.
“Major?”
Lee turned abruptly at the sound of his rank and was faced with Cally’s pale features. The anger he felt toward her husband seemed cruel and out of place when confronted with her forlorn expression and obvious pain at his betrayal. Lee added the destroying of families to his growing list of grievances against the cylons.
“Cally, I-“ He knew whatever he might say would be more than inadequate, but Lee felt compelled to offer some type of condolence. He wondered if there was a greeting card somewhere in the ashes of the colonies for such an instance: “So sorry to hear you’ve been betrayed by person you love. You are in my thoughts and prayers.”
“Apollo, if it’s all the same to you, I’d really like to not talk about it.” Despite her small stature and inherent fragility, there was a core of steel running through Cally that Lee had witnessed a few times and was witnessing once again. And he respected it.
“Of course, Cally.” He tried not to feel a twinge of guilt at the flood of relief that accompanied her statement. Gods, but he was a coward.
She nodded sharply before clearing her throat, dropping an indifferent mask over delicate features. “Good, now, sir, is there something I can help you with?”
Lee returned the nod. “We need to do a complete diagnostic on Kara’s bird. I’d really appreciate some help.”
“Is there something in particular you’re looking for?” she asked, stepping up beside Lee and studying the tools he’d gathered.
He let his gaze roam over the ship, his eyes settling on Kara’s nameplate just below the canopy. “Something that doesn’t belong.”
---- ----
Kara had been to Camp Oil Slick a handful of times following the exodus. Twice she had snuck down to the lower deck in the middle of the night shift, seeking out Kacey and Julia, trying to work up enough courage to approach them, to ask how they were and see if by some miracle she might be able to spend time with the child who had saved her life in the final weeks of her captivity. She had never made it past the door.
Another time she had found refuge in an abandoned storage closet, holed up with a bottle of ambrosia and her sidearm. She had been looking for a place to hide from Sam, knowing he was looking for her, knowing he wanted to spend time with his wife. It had been just a few weeks following the exodus, when Kara still became almost violently ill at the thought of anyone touching her. It had taken her almost a month to even tolerate Sam holding her hand; two months before she had managed to figure out how to frak him without feeling anything.
The last time she’d been down here she’d attended a service. Hoodie pulled up over her head, and all signs of rank hidden or absent, Kara had snuck into the back of the makeshift temple, really just a cordoned off section of the deck with a few rows of benches and a makeshift altar, and listened as the Oracle had recited from the scrolls of Pythia. It had been years since Kara had attended a formal service of any kind, but the prayers came back to her easily and she recited them faithfully with the other believers gathered there. But the Oracle’s sermon about destiny and the Gods’ plan had sent her hurrying away before the service officially ended. By the time she’d hit the corridor, she’d all but stripped out of her hoodie, sweating heavily as she sprinted across the deck and back up the five flights of stairs. Unable to fathom seeing anyone or trying to explain, Kara had spent the few hours following huddled in a corner of the hangar bay, staring at her bird and wondering how far she could get before anyone noticed.
She stood now outside of the Oracle’s tent uncertain. What exactly she had to fear Kara didn’t know, but coming here meant something. It meant she was opening herself to the possibility that something more than her own free will was at work in her life. For about the fifth time since she’d said goodbye to Julia and Kacey, Kara wished she’d asked Lee to come along. But just as she had four times prior, Kara dismissed the idea quickly.
He had never had her faith, not in the Gods or the scripture. He had never truly believed that there was a higher power working in the universe, dictating events that affected him or his daily life. Lee had always been a firm believer in the power of choice, not fate. And while he would have come if she’d asked, he wouldn’t have listened, wouldn’t have opened himself to the possibility that the Oracle might be right. And he wouldn’t understand how Kara could either.
Forcing herself to go through with it, Kara pushed aside the heavy canvas flap of the tent and stepped into the dim interior. The heady scent of incense and burning candles overwhelmed her, forcing Kara to stop just a few steps inside and take a steadying breath. It also gave her eyes time to adjust. Sitting a few feet away on a pile of rags was the Oracle, her eyes closed in concentration, a few crystals and totems carefully arranged on the low table before her.
Unwilling to disturb her, Kara considered retreating, but the woman stopped her. “Come in, Kara Thrace. Find the answers you seek.”
Despite her faith, it was still creepy when members of the clergy could read minds and/or name names without even setting eyes on a person. Shoving her discomfort aside, Kara knelt onto a pillow placed opposite the Oracle and the small altar. As she came down to the woman’s level, she opened her eyes, milky green orbs regarding Kara calmly.
She stared for a handful of minutes, Kara’s discomfort growing tenfold as every second passed. This had been such a mistake, she knew that now. She knew that whatever the Oracle said, Kara would take it as gospel, no matter how crazy, damning or frightening it seemed. She wanted to believe she could maintain some semblance of rationality, but Kara knew it wasn’t possible, not when it came to this; not when it came to faith.
“You should not be afraid of the truth, Kara Thrace,” the Oracle said quietly. Placing her hands palms up on the table before her, she added, “The truth cannot hurt you.”
It had been Kara’s experience that truth and lies hurt just about the same, but she bit her tongue to keep the sarcastic remark inside.
“Place your palms on top of mine,” the Oracle commanded, taking a deep breath and closing her eyes once more.
Kara hesitated for a second before slowly resting her palms atop the Oracle’s. The woman’s skin was warm and dry, only serving to remind Kara of how clammy and cold her own skin was. No sooner had they touched skin to skin than the other woman hummed softly and murmured, “Aurora.”
Jerking back as if shocked, Kara fell back on her butt. “What?” she breathed.
The sage woman appeared not to hear her or simply chose to ignore her. “Aurora, goddess of the dawn and first light. She heralds the arrival of a new day, banishing the darkness, and clearing a path for Apollo to bring the sun.”
Kara forced herself to breath evenly, as the woman’s eyes opened again to regard her. “Apollo needs Aurora, just as Aurora needs him. One means nothing without the other. Incomplete halves of the same whole. Why would you fear that?”
She tried to answer her, tried to form words around the lump in her throat, but Kara couldn’t. The Oracle’s all-seeing eyes simply continued to stare, at times appearing to stare into her soul or heart with obvious understanding.
“Ah, you believe you will suffer once more.” The Oracle nodded as she uttered the words, as if something was now suddenly clear. Turning, she rummaged through a crate behind her, pulling out three smooth stones and placing them carefully on the table before her. “You fear your instincts. Fear that the uncertainty you feel is rational and justified, fear that you are tempting the gods again and this time, Apollo will burn you beyond repair. Fear that the false one told you truths.”
She stared at the stones in silence as Kara struggled to breath, struggled to process her words. Each statement made her heart flutter. They were all true observations, every single one. Kara knew she was not worthy of the love or security she craved from Lee; knew that if Leoben should come for her again his torment was no less than she deserved.
“You fear that your mother was right, in spite of the fact that the only legacy she left you with was fear and pain. Fear that things that are too good to be true really are.”
The Oracle lifted the middle stone from the table, pressing it to her forehead, before repeating the sequence with the other two rocks. She hummed something under her breath, words Kara couldn’t make out, as she lightly ran her hands over the crystals and stones on the altar. Slowly at first, her fingers traced the lines of each small talisman as she continued to hum, muttering words that could have been Caprican, but could easily have been Tauron or Gemonese. Kara watched fascinated as the woman’s movements became sure and sharp and she moved the pieces of ephemera around the table reorganizing them into another pattern.
Sitting forward on her knees again, Kara was trying to decipher meaning from the objects as the Oracle opened her eyes and smiled before casting her own glance downward.
“He is coming for you, Kara Thrace,” she said quietly, tone even as if she were relaying the weather. The words caused Kara’s heart to stutter in her chest. “But you do not need to fear him. You have all you need here and now. Aurora and Apollo must walk hand in hand to bring light to the day. Light cast into the darkness removes the shadows and burns away the fog. You must embrace the light, Kara Thrace.”
She inhaled a sharp breath as the woman’s eyes snapped to her face, her expression now hard and deliberate. “Embrace the light or the darkness will consume you. And He will win.”
---- ----