Okay I realize I haven't updated in a while. I've been busy and had alot on my mind. Jared and I broke up a while ago, and I can't tell whether I'm happy or upset about it anymore. He was a great guy and this much I know, but I feel like he wasn't my type. Maybe he wasn't. Eric has finally returned to me as my best friend, which I'm very glad of, ( Read more... )

I grow colder not knowing what you're thinking, not knowing your pain. Never understanding, or knowing about what makes you tick, and yet the stress makes me sicker. I can't choose between fate and destiny anymore. And quite frankly I don't want to. You believe fate has brought us together.. and yet you are incorrect. Fate has chosen for me to ( Read more... )

Hidden secrets in chambers of the mind of which becomes ill after a wrong move. For him to cough and not be able to breathe may cause him to serve the same fate as me. to be weakened from the same disease where he becomes just as pale. Jared my love please tell me what's happeneing to you. I can't lose you now and i won't unless i go first, when I ( Read more... )

Though our anniversary is today we celebrate tomorrow and we're gonna have a wedding together on gaia. I's going to be so romantic. I love him so much. He's everything to me and I can't live without him. He makes my heart melt with every dawning day. Jared, baby I love you and I'm so hapy we're going to spend our lives together forever. I love you.

I'm trying not to cry from the pain I suffer, I try not to cry the tears of joy to only hide the pain. I love jared with everything that i have and am, but i fear for the obstacles to come for us. Johnathan my love, without i am nothing, without you i can't breathe. I lvoe you more than life itself, but I don't want us to be apart.

The old saying of old love dies hard is very true. Jamie and I are still in love with one another, but so are jared and I. I don't want to pick between the two. I love them both so much but Jared still has 4 days left for his ultimate challenge. The two boys must determine who goes and who stays. because i will not choose between the two. I love ( Read more... )

Jared and I are over and that's okay for now. I am a free girl again not that that's a good thing. But only time will tell if the disease wields within.

Jamie- I love you hun! I hope to see you very soon.

Jared's been acting a little odd and now I know why. I must say I'm not impressed. His mom loved me to death and now she doesn't trust me. Well I'll juast have to show her that i'm good enough for her son. I love Jared more than anything but damn i got to have his mom's trust back. I can get it ( Read more... )

What happens when you start to feel the side effects of a suicide that didn't succeed? Do you allow fate to take it's course because it's a slow killer? That's what's going on with me right now. The poison has entered my blood. I grow weaker and paler with every day, I can't control this. I've tried so many times and yet I still keep moving onward ( Read more... )

God, please don't take him away from me or me from him. I love him so much and I don't want us to hurt. The pain is unbearable, and I just want us to be happy and safe. Here is a poem I wrote for him today ( Read more... )