Another late night epiphany
I got a response back from an email that I sent Elijah. His exact words were "You're pathetic." I guess he's still trying to push me away (although I don't know why - it's not like I'm hanging on or anything). The funny thing is...I would expect it to hurt. But it doesn't. I honestly don't give a fuck. I'm over him completely...like it doesn't even affect me anymore. I'm realizing that I'm at a good place in my life right now...I may have some scars, but I don't have any baggage. There is no one in my life that I'm pining over that I can't have. I'm talking to another really interesting/sweet guy right now, and I'm realizing that it really is true that there are plenty of fish in the sea. So why should I give a fuck if a guy turns out to be a creep? Why should I let it upset or affect me in any way? If he wants to be an asshole, let him. It's just poison to his soul, not mine. He's the one that has to be able to sleep at night knowing that he was a total jerk to someone who was nothing but kind to him. If that is ok with him, well...as sad as it may be - its still his life not mine. I don't have to be surrounded by that negativity or cruelness. So I'll just move on. Eventually, I'll meet a great guy who is actually a great guy. Someone who is genuine and sincere...and someone who deserves me. I'm not going to let all these players and fake people get me down. I know that not everyone is that way, so I'm not going to let it affect me. I'm happy with my life as it is. And hell, the only way it could change for the worse is if I let someone into my life that is going to drag me down. So if I'm fine the way things are, then I should be in no hurry to change it. So I should give it time to make sure that the person that does come into my life will only lift me up to places I couldn't go alone. Sure, I want someone in my life...but I want someone in my life to make it better...not worse. So here's to Liam. Let's hope that he turns out to be all that he seems. God knows the last few have not.