Mama's girl
And not just. Daddy's girl, and brother and sister's girl, and aunt and uncle and cousins' girl, and best friend's girl, and other best friend's, and other friends' girl, and Tel Aviv girl, home girl, Israel girl, Hebrew girl, Girls' girl, clothes' girl.
At the beginning of the week I felt like this job isn't right for me but I couldn't tell why. I think I know now - I think I simply ignored everything I am, everything that defines me when I took this job. I was so happy and excited and I disregarded all the not-so-great things that came along with it, even though they nudged me even then. And that was what came back to bite me in the ass this week.
I don't belong in a kind of work that takes me away from everything I love, from everyone I love. I don't belong in a kind of work where I'm surrounded by men from all around the world who tell sexist jokes and announce that "You'll not go offshore with a pink suitcase", I don't belong in a line of work that has physical labor that I just can't handle (I'm just not strong enough).
Most of all, I don't belong in a kind of work that will mean I will be gone for the next few years, with very little time off.
[No, this isn't a rationalization, and I'm not ashamed of my decision - I needed to say this and I needed it to be written and organized]
*~*
The pink suitcase comment was half funny, half annoying. The commenter, Paul, deserves some slack for he was my mentor for the last few days and I can say he's really great.
*~*
A few political discussions, some talk of vegetarianism, spending a lunch trying to calm myself down from a baboon talking fucking nonsense (Israeli baboon), being in the room and having no one swear because of it (if they only knew), one car ride with a very drunk still, very sleeping, very snoring guy behind me, the fumes coming off of everybody's mouths today (I swear, stick a wick in their mouths and they'd burn for a week), too much sushi, too many train rides...
And thank god for my phone - I watched 5 TV shows on it, been super updated all the time and it gave me a whole lot of "passing the time".
That was my week. It wasn't all bad.
*~*
I called AS on Tuesday (AS was the one who hired me in M. Gold, the company I was at until August). He works at the Standard Institution now and I thought "well, it's a long shot, but maybe he needs someone", so I'm going to see him tomorrow and talk about options.
But even if it fails, I will be back on Monday to tell them I'm leaving. I'd be so much more relieved once I do that.
(I'm home free)
At the beginning of the week I felt like this job isn't right for me but I couldn't tell why. I think I know now - I think I simply ignored everything I am, everything that defines me when I took this job. I was so happy and excited and I disregarded all the not-so-great things that came along with it, even though they nudged me even then. And that was what came back to bite me in the ass this week.
I don't belong in a kind of work that takes me away from everything I love, from everyone I love. I don't belong in a kind of work where I'm surrounded by men from all around the world who tell sexist jokes and announce that "You'll not go offshore with a pink suitcase", I don't belong in a line of work that has physical labor that I just can't handle (I'm just not strong enough).
Most of all, I don't belong in a kind of work that will mean I will be gone for the next few years, with very little time off.
[No, this isn't a rationalization, and I'm not ashamed of my decision - I needed to say this and I needed it to be written and organized]
*~*
The pink suitcase comment was half funny, half annoying. The commenter, Paul, deserves some slack for he was my mentor for the last few days and I can say he's really great.
*~*
A few political discussions, some talk of vegetarianism, spending a lunch trying to calm myself down from a baboon talking fucking nonsense (Israeli baboon), being in the room and having no one swear because of it (if they only knew), one car ride with a very drunk still, very sleeping, very snoring guy behind me, the fumes coming off of everybody's mouths today (I swear, stick a wick in their mouths and they'd burn for a week), too much sushi, too many train rides...
And thank god for my phone - I watched 5 TV shows on it, been super updated all the time and it gave me a whole lot of "passing the time".
That was my week. It wasn't all bad.
*~*
I called AS on Tuesday (AS was the one who hired me in M. Gold, the company I was at until August). He works at the Standard Institution now and I thought "well, it's a long shot, but maybe he needs someone", so I'm going to see him tomorrow and talk about options.
But even if it fails, I will be back on Monday to tell them I'm leaving. I'd be so much more relieved once I do that.
(I'm home free)