Forgiven
Spoilers: Uh. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, at least.
Warnings: None.
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1, 212
Disclaimer: RIB and FOX own everything ever.
Harry Potter fanfiction starring Peter Pettigrew. Also my first post ever on this my writing journal. O happy days!
This is the point: Harry Potter is not James. But he’s close enough.
Wormtail knows that Harry isn’t James. He knows, he knows, he knows… things, and his mind isn’t what it used to be, but yes, he knows that Harry isn’t James. That’s the point: Harry isn’t James. He’s just close.
Once Harry has been at school for a few weeks, he smells like James did. He comes to school reeking of hunger and lemons and cleaning supplies and owl. When they first arrive, Wormtail spends most of his nights with Ronald Weasley. But after a few weeks, Harry smells of broom polish and ink and wind and sweat, and Wormtail can ignore the owl. That’s when he starts curling up on Harry’s pillow at night. Because there’s the point: Harry isn’t James. He’s not much like his father at all.
Wormtail has not seen Harry with human eyes (not since he was a baby, before, before everything), but he remembers how James looked to a rat, and Harry looks just the same. He’s heard people talk about it, even; he’s too frightened to stop spying entirely, so he hears things. He knows that Harry looks like James and smells like James.
Wormtail also spends the summer in the Weasley house, where Ron extols the virtues of his famous friend, and tells and retells their grand adventures. And he is there for the quieter moments between the three friends, and he knows this: Harry is kind, and James was not kind. Harry is, for a little boy, responsible and caring and forgiving and thoughtful. Because here’s the point: Harry isn’t James. Not even close.
Something Wormtail imagines - and he can imagine, still, even if his mind isn’t what it used to be - he imagines this: He will find Harry alone, some day. He will turn back into a man. Peter Pettigrew will tell Harry everything, the truth, everything, he will not lie even once. And Harry will listen, and Harry will understand, and Harry will forgive him. And because Harry will forgive him, Peter will be safe. Not Albus Dumbledore, not Lord Voldemort, no one will be able to touch him.
He will never do it. Sometimes he dreams he has. He does dream, though his mind isn’t what it used to be. When he dreams this, it is a nightmare. Because really, really he knows, he does know, that if he did this, Harry would not forgive him, and he would be killed. It is only when he is awake that he can treasure this forgiveness. Still, he curls up by Harry’s head and smells him and knows that he is good and kind like Lily and he pretends. He pretends that he’s done it already and Harry, who smells like James, has forgiven him, has said with James’s face and James’s lips, “I forgive you.” Because that’s the point: Harry isn’t James. He’s better.
Once upon a time - and Wormtail does remember, though his mind isn’t what it used to be - he would turn to James for protection. And unless it was from Sirius or James himself that he wanted protection, or James was too busy, or thought it was too amusing to stop, James obliged. And when he obliged, it was the most wonderful feeling in the world, because Peter Pettigrew stopped being afraid, and he felt safe.
But James would never, ever forgive him.
So with That Cat on the loose, Wormtail sleeps with Harry, and pretends he’s forgiven, and he feels safe.
Because this is the point: Harry Potter is not James. But he’s close enough.
x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x
Master List
Warnings: None.
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1, 212
Disclaimer: RIB and FOX own everything ever.
Harry Potter fanfiction starring Peter Pettigrew. Also my first post ever on this my writing journal. O happy days!
This is the point: Harry Potter is not James. But he’s close enough.
Wormtail knows that Harry isn’t James. He knows, he knows, he knows… things, and his mind isn’t what it used to be, but yes, he knows that Harry isn’t James. That’s the point: Harry isn’t James. He’s just close.
Once Harry has been at school for a few weeks, he smells like James did. He comes to school reeking of hunger and lemons and cleaning supplies and owl. When they first arrive, Wormtail spends most of his nights with Ronald Weasley. But after a few weeks, Harry smells of broom polish and ink and wind and sweat, and Wormtail can ignore the owl. That’s when he starts curling up on Harry’s pillow at night. Because there’s the point: Harry isn’t James. He’s not much like his father at all.
Wormtail has not seen Harry with human eyes (not since he was a baby, before, before everything), but he remembers how James looked to a rat, and Harry looks just the same. He’s heard people talk about it, even; he’s too frightened to stop spying entirely, so he hears things. He knows that Harry looks like James and smells like James.
Wormtail also spends the summer in the Weasley house, where Ron extols the virtues of his famous friend, and tells and retells their grand adventures. And he is there for the quieter moments between the three friends, and he knows this: Harry is kind, and James was not kind. Harry is, for a little boy, responsible and caring and forgiving and thoughtful. Because here’s the point: Harry isn’t James. Not even close.
Something Wormtail imagines - and he can imagine, still, even if his mind isn’t what it used to be - he imagines this: He will find Harry alone, some day. He will turn back into a man. Peter Pettigrew will tell Harry everything, the truth, everything, he will not lie even once. And Harry will listen, and Harry will understand, and Harry will forgive him. And because Harry will forgive him, Peter will be safe. Not Albus Dumbledore, not Lord Voldemort, no one will be able to touch him.
He will never do it. Sometimes he dreams he has. He does dream, though his mind isn’t what it used to be. When he dreams this, it is a nightmare. Because really, really he knows, he does know, that if he did this, Harry would not forgive him, and he would be killed. It is only when he is awake that he can treasure this forgiveness. Still, he curls up by Harry’s head and smells him and knows that he is good and kind like Lily and he pretends. He pretends that he’s done it already and Harry, who smells like James, has forgiven him, has said with James’s face and James’s lips, “I forgive you.” Because that’s the point: Harry isn’t James. He’s better.
Once upon a time - and Wormtail does remember, though his mind isn’t what it used to be - he would turn to James for protection. And unless it was from Sirius or James himself that he wanted protection, or James was too busy, or thought it was too amusing to stop, James obliged. And when he obliged, it was the most wonderful feeling in the world, because Peter Pettigrew stopped being afraid, and he felt safe.
But James would never, ever forgive him.
So with That Cat on the loose, Wormtail sleeps with Harry, and pretends he’s forgiven, and he feels safe.
Because this is the point: Harry Potter is not James. But he’s close enough.
x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x
Master List