Shades of Grey Chapter 43
Title: Shades of Grey Chapter 43
Author: TalliW
Characters: Stephen Hart, Tom Ryan, Nick Cutter, James Lester, Abby Maitland, Connor Temple, Jenny Lewis, Oliver Leek, Lyle, Finn, Helen Cutter, Ditzy
Rating: T
Disclaimer: Primeval is the property of Impossible Pictures. I write just for fun.
Lyle, Ditzy and Finn belong to Fredbassett.
Acknowledgments: Thanks to the wonderful Fredbassett for beta duty.
Summary: Ryan has survived but he isn't the man he was. Can Stephen and Cutter manage to work together to help him? Perhaps Ryan has changed in more ways than it appears at first sight.
"You haven’t said a word since we left the ARC," Stephen said, a little concerned at Ryan's continued silence as they stepped into the corridor of his flat.
In response Ryan turned to him and eyed Stephen from head to toe before he pulled Stephen into his arms and kissed him softly on the lips, tenderly like Stephen was something precious.
.
Stephen could have lost himself in the kiss but as he felt Ryan's hands starting to roam down to his arse, he heard noises from the hallway that reminded him that the front door was still open and he had the presence of mind to pull back before the situation could get out of hand. Giving his neighbours a show wasn't high on his list of things to do today.
Ryan released him reluctantly, his face showing a vulnerability and uncertainty that juxtaposed with the strength and confidence the adult Ryan normally exuded.
Stephen quickly closed the front door and led Ryan to the couch in the living room, guessing that Ryan had been shaken to the core by what had happened in Lester's office.
"I didn't know how much everyone still cared," Ryan uttered thickly, after they’d sat down.
Stephen laid his hand on Ryan's thigh and rubbed it gently.
"We all care about you very much. Did you think that would change just because you've got your memories back?"
Ryan lowered his head in embarrassment, confirming that he had thought along those lines.
"Today in the office... I haven't felt such unconditional support and acceptance since I was little. The Major tried. But after I'd lost Granny I didn't allow myself to get close to people any more. Besides, there was always that nagging feeling that they only took me in to create the facade of a perfect family for the trips."
Ryan's last line piqued Stephen’s interest, more so as Ryan bit his lips and reacted in the same way as little Tom had done when he'd revealed something he wasn't supposed to tell.
"Trips?"
"Forget what I said."
But Stephen wasn't ready to let it go. Everything he'd learnt about Major Ryan formed into a picture in his mind's eye that was hard to reconcile with the idea of a good adoptive father. There was so much secrecy, and despite Connor's and Lester's best efforts they still hadn't found out what exactly the major and his wife did for a living.
"You mean they took you along on missions? Secret missions?" he asked incredulously.
Ryan's face closed off immediately, settling into the normal stoic mask he had worn all the time before the accident in the Permian.
"Tom, please talk to me," Stephen pleaded, realising he'd touched a subject that had been a sore point for Ryan for many years.
Ryan straightened his shoulders and avoided Stephen's inquiring look.
"I can't," he mumbled.
Stephen increased the pressure of his hand on Ryan's thigh.
"You know you can trust me. Everything you'll tell me will stay between you and me."
"I trust you. Probably more than I should. But this is top secret."
"Really? It has been... what? Twenty years?"
"That doesn't matter. It still might bring about political consequences."
"So I'm right? They took you on secret missions? How could they? They should never have been allowed to adopt a child."
"Oh, come on, please. I was a teenager not a child," Ryan said, now with a note of annoyance in his voice. "All I had to do was to stay back at the hotel and enjoy the holiday. I never was in danger."
"Their cover could have been blown."
"You’ve seen too many spy films. Stephen, you don't know how I was back then. They got me off the streets, gave me a home, made me feel important. If they'd just wanted an son for an alibi they could have chosen someone who was easier to handle than me."
"And yet you doubted their motives," Stephen said quietly, his tone conveying clearly what he thought of Ryan's adoptive parents.
"Whatever you may think of them, I know they do love me. They’ve shown that clearly over the years. I was just not ready to accept love."
Stephen, unsure if Ryan wasn't just deluding himself about his adoptive parents, looked scrutinisingly at Ryan. Seeing the certainty in Ryan's eyes he asked softly, "And now you are ready?"
Ryan smiled warmly at Stephen and gripped Stephen's hand.
"Thanks to you and the weird bunch at the ARC. You made me feel again. Taught me that love doesn't have to end in pain and with loss."
Stephen returned the smile and interwove his fingers with Ryan's, his eyes shining a touch too bright.
"I wish you hadn’t had to have suffered so much to get to this point," he whispered.
"Maybe it was necessary," Ryan said softly. "A wise woman said to me once that sometimes we had to suffer to appreciate the good moments. I think Claudia was right."
"Claudia?
Stephen sifted through his memories to see if Ryan had ever mentioned a girl or woman named Claudia before. But there had only been one person who had talked about a woman with that name.
"Cutter's Claudia?"
"Yes, Claudia Brown. She was a fine woman. When I thought I’d landed in a loony bin she helped me to learn to deal with you lot. Without her I would probably have asked for an overseas assignment within a month."
A maelstrom of thoughts whirled in Stephen's mind as he processed what Ryan had just told him. So Cutter had been right about the changed reality. Claudia Brown was not just a figment of an overworked mind.
"Why didn't you tell us that you remembered Claudia Brown?"
"What would have been the point of that?" Ryan said with a shrug. "She's gone."
"It would help Cutter to know that she really existed."
"I doubt that. He would only start dwelling on the past again."
"But..."
"Don't get me wrong, Stephen. I miss Claudia. She was the first government official who treated me as a human being and she was on the way to becoming a friend. But the world has changed. Claudia Brown doesn't exist any longer. Here we have Jenny Lewis. And while they are so similar in many things that sometimes you can't tell the difference, Jenny is her own person. She doesn't deserve to be compared to a woman Cutter and I knew in another timeline."
"I think Cutter still mourns her."
"Well, Claudia knew how to handle him. She didn't put up with his nonsense. She had a great sense of humour too. Imagine, when Connor came to us for advise on how to convince Abby to take him in as a flatmate, she actually told him to use blackmail. You should have seen the boy's face. Of course she hadn't expected that the guy would take the joke seriously and really blackmail Abby."
Stephen's eyebrows shot up. "Connor blackmailed Abby?"
"It sounds worse than it was. He just threatened to tell Lester about Rex. Abby understood that he was desperate and forgave him for the stunt."
Stephen tried not to let his shock show about the amount of things Ryan had kept quiet about. He had believed he'd got to know Ryan rather well by now, but suddenly it seemed he didn't know the man at all.
"Is there anything else I should know?" Stephen asked testily, afraid of what else Ryan might reveal.
"Only that I love you very much."
With an impish smile on his face Ryan gave Stephen a quick kiss on the lips.
"Love you too," Stephen answered back automatically. Although he realised that Ryan had just said it as an evasion he let it pass. For now. He never could stay mad when Ryan looked at him that way.
Ryan, feeling the tension of the moment dissipating, jumped up and offered Stephen his hand. "Come, let’s go for a walk. It's been ages since we went to the park."
Stephen followed willingly. After the rollercoaster of emotions they had gone through in the last few hours, an evening walk sounded like a great idea. Maybe afterwards Ryan was ready to trust him with more of his secrets.
The park appeared quiet and dark. The lamps hadn't been switched on yet and the low light of the setting sun shed just enough light for them to see the way.
But as soon as they had set foot on the pathway Ryan realised that in reality the area was bristling with life. There was the hooting of an owl nearby and the rustling of a mouse in the leaves on the ground five metres away. Somewhere on the path before them a group of pigeons was pecking at the gravel and on the thick chestnut tree to their right a bat was moving its leathery, bony wings as it got ready for the nightly hunt.
At this time of day, the park seemed entirely to belong to the local wildlife.
Ryan waited until his eyes had adjusted to the dimness before he took Stephen by the hand and pulled him towards a small path to the left, determined not to disturb the evening meal of the pigeons.
Hand in hand, Stephen and Ryan strolled through the park, both dwelling on thoughts as they slowly headed along the familiar route.
As they neared the playground Ryan involuntarily gripped Stephen's hand firmer and increased his pace, a wishful expression crossing his face. The last bit of the way Ryan was almost running, forcing Stephen to up his pace as well.
They had avoided the park since Ryan's recovery, not yet ready to face the children who had befriended Ryan. But they had both missed the precious light-heartedness of those hours.
Assuming that the place would be deserted at this late hour, they entered the playground. The next moment they were surrounded by three children, greeting Ryan enthusiastically.
"Where have you been? I'd wanted to show you my new helicopter. It's remote-controlled. I had it with me every day of last week. Now you turn up when I've left it at home," Bobby muttered reproachfully.
"Leave Tom alone," Katie said. "He must have had his reasons why he couldn't come. He was probably sick."
"He doesn't look sick," objected Francis, a gangly, dark-haired boy who had joined Ryan and Bobby when they had played tiger hunt for the first time.
"Of course not, silly. He wouldn't be allowed to go to the playground if he was still sick."
Ryan stood rooted to the spot, completely tongue-tied, while Bobby, Katie and Francis eyed him critically.
Nervously he darted a glance at the three mothers, so deeply in conversation that they hadn't even noticed his and Stephen's arrival yet and racked his brain for a suitable explanation for the children. But at the moment his mind was completely blank.
Francis had noticed Ryan's look. Grinning he declared, "Our Mums are always forgetting the time when they discuss politics or fashion."
"That means more playtime for us," Bobby added mischievously, giving Ryan a light nudge on the arm before he raced to the slide and started climbing the ladder, clearly expecting that Ryan would follow him.
A part of Ryan wanted to run after Bobby and forget how an adult was supposed to behave but the stronger part kept telling him that he had to maintain dignity.
"Hey, what's wrong with you?" Bobby asked perplex as he returned from the slide, not understanding Ryan's reluctance to play. "The cat got your tongue? Say something!"
Katie, always quick on the uptake, said quietly, "I think he’s remembered to be an adult."
"He’s got his memories back? Isn't that a good thing?"
"Not when he’s forgotten how to play."
"How can you forget something like that?" Bobbie asked, confused.
"Maybe not really forgotten, just afraid what people might say. He just looks like my mum when she wants to do something people might think is childish."
Ryan looked at the girl who was wise beyond her age and felt a pang at the sadness in the child's eyes.
He wished he had a better way with words to make it easier for them but knew that no amount of soothing words could cushion the hard truth that he wasn't part of their world any longer.
"It's okay if you don't want to slide. We can do something else, something more adult. How about mothers and fathers? You can be the father this time. Francis is my brother and the square-shaped climbing frame will be our house," Bobby offered hopefully.
Ryan remembered that Bobby hadn't cared much for this particular game, so this showed how desperate he must be.
Saddened, Ryan shook his head. He had never wanted to hurt his friends. But as much as he wanted to engage in childish games just to bring the smile back to Katie's face, the powerful imagination he had possessed during his regression into childhood was gone. He couldn't picture the climbing frame as a house let alone Bobby as his son and Katie as his wife. The latter thought even made him feel queasy.
"I'm sorry," Ryan mumbled and stared to the ground to avoid seeing Bobby's reaction as the boy slowly realised that he'd lost a friend.
Francis, the oldest from the three children, angrily kicked a stone away and turned his back on Ryan.
"We should go," Stephen whispered from behind, seeing no better solution for the situation.
Ryan was about to follow Stephens's suggestion when Katie, after minutes of hard thinking, cried out triumphantly: "The swing!"
At Ryan's inquiring look, she gave him a smile that loosened the tightness in his chest immediately and happily declared, "We can swing. Even my mum likes swinging. So it must be okay for adults too."
To forestall any excuse Ryan might come up with she quickly added. "Stephen can push you to get higher. When mum swings my dad helps her too."
Inwardly sighing, Ryan followed Katie to the swing stand. For the sake of the children he would put up with the small swing seat and endure the chains biting into his hip. The three had accepted him without any reservation and taken him into their circle. He owed them a lot. So giving them a few more happy moments with him was the least he could do.
Ryan grinned from ear to ear as Stephen's first push sent him high up into the air close to the height Katie had already reached. He enjoyed the feeling of the wind whooshing past his face which awoke memories of the infinite freedom he had felt as a child every time he had built up momentum. He wished he could bottle up this feeling to keep it with him forever.
Next to him he heard Bobby and Francis whooping with joy as they tried to outdo Katie and Katie's bell-like laugh as they failed.
Knowing it was the last time he would spend time with his young friends, Ryan tried to memorise every moment but he knew that the memories would fade soon and become one of those things that he would remember fondly but without real emotional attachment. Just as the small everyday occurrences of the time he spent in a child-like frame of mind with Stephen and the team already had started to fade.
Stephen pushed Ryan's swing higher and higher until Ryan finally surpassed even Katie. Under the jeering of Bobby and Francis, Ryan smiled apologetically at Katie and through a thin haze of tears he silently bade farewell to the children to whom he had sworn eternal friendship just a few weeks ago.
Author: TalliW
Characters: Stephen Hart, Tom Ryan, Nick Cutter, James Lester, Abby Maitland, Connor Temple, Jenny Lewis, Oliver Leek, Lyle, Finn, Helen Cutter, Ditzy
Rating: T
Disclaimer: Primeval is the property of Impossible Pictures. I write just for fun.
Lyle, Ditzy and Finn belong to Fredbassett.
Acknowledgments: Thanks to the wonderful Fredbassett for beta duty.
Summary: Ryan has survived but he isn't the man he was. Can Stephen and Cutter manage to work together to help him? Perhaps Ryan has changed in more ways than it appears at first sight.
"You haven’t said a word since we left the ARC," Stephen said, a little concerned at Ryan's continued silence as they stepped into the corridor of his flat.
In response Ryan turned to him and eyed Stephen from head to toe before he pulled Stephen into his arms and kissed him softly on the lips, tenderly like Stephen was something precious.
.
Stephen could have lost himself in the kiss but as he felt Ryan's hands starting to roam down to his arse, he heard noises from the hallway that reminded him that the front door was still open and he had the presence of mind to pull back before the situation could get out of hand. Giving his neighbours a show wasn't high on his list of things to do today.
Ryan released him reluctantly, his face showing a vulnerability and uncertainty that juxtaposed with the strength and confidence the adult Ryan normally exuded.
Stephen quickly closed the front door and led Ryan to the couch in the living room, guessing that Ryan had been shaken to the core by what had happened in Lester's office.
"I didn't know how much everyone still cared," Ryan uttered thickly, after they’d sat down.
Stephen laid his hand on Ryan's thigh and rubbed it gently.
"We all care about you very much. Did you think that would change just because you've got your memories back?"
Ryan lowered his head in embarrassment, confirming that he had thought along those lines.
"Today in the office... I haven't felt such unconditional support and acceptance since I was little. The Major tried. But after I'd lost Granny I didn't allow myself to get close to people any more. Besides, there was always that nagging feeling that they only took me in to create the facade of a perfect family for the trips."
Ryan's last line piqued Stephen’s interest, more so as Ryan bit his lips and reacted in the same way as little Tom had done when he'd revealed something he wasn't supposed to tell.
"Trips?"
"Forget what I said."
But Stephen wasn't ready to let it go. Everything he'd learnt about Major Ryan formed into a picture in his mind's eye that was hard to reconcile with the idea of a good adoptive father. There was so much secrecy, and despite Connor's and Lester's best efforts they still hadn't found out what exactly the major and his wife did for a living.
"You mean they took you along on missions? Secret missions?" he asked incredulously.
Ryan's face closed off immediately, settling into the normal stoic mask he had worn all the time before the accident in the Permian.
"Tom, please talk to me," Stephen pleaded, realising he'd touched a subject that had been a sore point for Ryan for many years.
Ryan straightened his shoulders and avoided Stephen's inquiring look.
"I can't," he mumbled.
Stephen increased the pressure of his hand on Ryan's thigh.
"You know you can trust me. Everything you'll tell me will stay between you and me."
"I trust you. Probably more than I should. But this is top secret."
"Really? It has been... what? Twenty years?"
"That doesn't matter. It still might bring about political consequences."
"So I'm right? They took you on secret missions? How could they? They should never have been allowed to adopt a child."
"Oh, come on, please. I was a teenager not a child," Ryan said, now with a note of annoyance in his voice. "All I had to do was to stay back at the hotel and enjoy the holiday. I never was in danger."
"Their cover could have been blown."
"You’ve seen too many spy films. Stephen, you don't know how I was back then. They got me off the streets, gave me a home, made me feel important. If they'd just wanted an son for an alibi they could have chosen someone who was easier to handle than me."
"And yet you doubted their motives," Stephen said quietly, his tone conveying clearly what he thought of Ryan's adoptive parents.
"Whatever you may think of them, I know they do love me. They’ve shown that clearly over the years. I was just not ready to accept love."
Stephen, unsure if Ryan wasn't just deluding himself about his adoptive parents, looked scrutinisingly at Ryan. Seeing the certainty in Ryan's eyes he asked softly, "And now you are ready?"
Ryan smiled warmly at Stephen and gripped Stephen's hand.
"Thanks to you and the weird bunch at the ARC. You made me feel again. Taught me that love doesn't have to end in pain and with loss."
Stephen returned the smile and interwove his fingers with Ryan's, his eyes shining a touch too bright.
"I wish you hadn’t had to have suffered so much to get to this point," he whispered.
"Maybe it was necessary," Ryan said softly. "A wise woman said to me once that sometimes we had to suffer to appreciate the good moments. I think Claudia was right."
"Claudia?
Stephen sifted through his memories to see if Ryan had ever mentioned a girl or woman named Claudia before. But there had only been one person who had talked about a woman with that name.
"Cutter's Claudia?"
"Yes, Claudia Brown. She was a fine woman. When I thought I’d landed in a loony bin she helped me to learn to deal with you lot. Without her I would probably have asked for an overseas assignment within a month."
A maelstrom of thoughts whirled in Stephen's mind as he processed what Ryan had just told him. So Cutter had been right about the changed reality. Claudia Brown was not just a figment of an overworked mind.
"Why didn't you tell us that you remembered Claudia Brown?"
"What would have been the point of that?" Ryan said with a shrug. "She's gone."
"It would help Cutter to know that she really existed."
"I doubt that. He would only start dwelling on the past again."
"But..."
"Don't get me wrong, Stephen. I miss Claudia. She was the first government official who treated me as a human being and she was on the way to becoming a friend. But the world has changed. Claudia Brown doesn't exist any longer. Here we have Jenny Lewis. And while they are so similar in many things that sometimes you can't tell the difference, Jenny is her own person. She doesn't deserve to be compared to a woman Cutter and I knew in another timeline."
"I think Cutter still mourns her."
"Well, Claudia knew how to handle him. She didn't put up with his nonsense. She had a great sense of humour too. Imagine, when Connor came to us for advise on how to convince Abby to take him in as a flatmate, she actually told him to use blackmail. You should have seen the boy's face. Of course she hadn't expected that the guy would take the joke seriously and really blackmail Abby."
Stephen's eyebrows shot up. "Connor blackmailed Abby?"
"It sounds worse than it was. He just threatened to tell Lester about Rex. Abby understood that he was desperate and forgave him for the stunt."
Stephen tried not to let his shock show about the amount of things Ryan had kept quiet about. He had believed he'd got to know Ryan rather well by now, but suddenly it seemed he didn't know the man at all.
"Is there anything else I should know?" Stephen asked testily, afraid of what else Ryan might reveal.
"Only that I love you very much."
With an impish smile on his face Ryan gave Stephen a quick kiss on the lips.
"Love you too," Stephen answered back automatically. Although he realised that Ryan had just said it as an evasion he let it pass. For now. He never could stay mad when Ryan looked at him that way.
Ryan, feeling the tension of the moment dissipating, jumped up and offered Stephen his hand. "Come, let’s go for a walk. It's been ages since we went to the park."
Stephen followed willingly. After the rollercoaster of emotions they had gone through in the last few hours, an evening walk sounded like a great idea. Maybe afterwards Ryan was ready to trust him with more of his secrets.
The park appeared quiet and dark. The lamps hadn't been switched on yet and the low light of the setting sun shed just enough light for them to see the way.
But as soon as they had set foot on the pathway Ryan realised that in reality the area was bristling with life. There was the hooting of an owl nearby and the rustling of a mouse in the leaves on the ground five metres away. Somewhere on the path before them a group of pigeons was pecking at the gravel and on the thick chestnut tree to their right a bat was moving its leathery, bony wings as it got ready for the nightly hunt.
At this time of day, the park seemed entirely to belong to the local wildlife.
Ryan waited until his eyes had adjusted to the dimness before he took Stephen by the hand and pulled him towards a small path to the left, determined not to disturb the evening meal of the pigeons.
Hand in hand, Stephen and Ryan strolled through the park, both dwelling on thoughts as they slowly headed along the familiar route.
As they neared the playground Ryan involuntarily gripped Stephen's hand firmer and increased his pace, a wishful expression crossing his face. The last bit of the way Ryan was almost running, forcing Stephen to up his pace as well.
They had avoided the park since Ryan's recovery, not yet ready to face the children who had befriended Ryan. But they had both missed the precious light-heartedness of those hours.
Assuming that the place would be deserted at this late hour, they entered the playground. The next moment they were surrounded by three children, greeting Ryan enthusiastically.
"Where have you been? I'd wanted to show you my new helicopter. It's remote-controlled. I had it with me every day of last week. Now you turn up when I've left it at home," Bobby muttered reproachfully.
"Leave Tom alone," Katie said. "He must have had his reasons why he couldn't come. He was probably sick."
"He doesn't look sick," objected Francis, a gangly, dark-haired boy who had joined Ryan and Bobby when they had played tiger hunt for the first time.
"Of course not, silly. He wouldn't be allowed to go to the playground if he was still sick."
Ryan stood rooted to the spot, completely tongue-tied, while Bobby, Katie and Francis eyed him critically.
Nervously he darted a glance at the three mothers, so deeply in conversation that they hadn't even noticed his and Stephen's arrival yet and racked his brain for a suitable explanation for the children. But at the moment his mind was completely blank.
Francis had noticed Ryan's look. Grinning he declared, "Our Mums are always forgetting the time when they discuss politics or fashion."
"That means more playtime for us," Bobby added mischievously, giving Ryan a light nudge on the arm before he raced to the slide and started climbing the ladder, clearly expecting that Ryan would follow him.
A part of Ryan wanted to run after Bobby and forget how an adult was supposed to behave but the stronger part kept telling him that he had to maintain dignity.
"Hey, what's wrong with you?" Bobby asked perplex as he returned from the slide, not understanding Ryan's reluctance to play. "The cat got your tongue? Say something!"
Katie, always quick on the uptake, said quietly, "I think he’s remembered to be an adult."
"He’s got his memories back? Isn't that a good thing?"
"Not when he’s forgotten how to play."
"How can you forget something like that?" Bobbie asked, confused.
"Maybe not really forgotten, just afraid what people might say. He just looks like my mum when she wants to do something people might think is childish."
Ryan looked at the girl who was wise beyond her age and felt a pang at the sadness in the child's eyes.
He wished he had a better way with words to make it easier for them but knew that no amount of soothing words could cushion the hard truth that he wasn't part of their world any longer.
"It's okay if you don't want to slide. We can do something else, something more adult. How about mothers and fathers? You can be the father this time. Francis is my brother and the square-shaped climbing frame will be our house," Bobby offered hopefully.
Ryan remembered that Bobby hadn't cared much for this particular game, so this showed how desperate he must be.
Saddened, Ryan shook his head. He had never wanted to hurt his friends. But as much as he wanted to engage in childish games just to bring the smile back to Katie's face, the powerful imagination he had possessed during his regression into childhood was gone. He couldn't picture the climbing frame as a house let alone Bobby as his son and Katie as his wife. The latter thought even made him feel queasy.
"I'm sorry," Ryan mumbled and stared to the ground to avoid seeing Bobby's reaction as the boy slowly realised that he'd lost a friend.
Francis, the oldest from the three children, angrily kicked a stone away and turned his back on Ryan.
"We should go," Stephen whispered from behind, seeing no better solution for the situation.
Ryan was about to follow Stephens's suggestion when Katie, after minutes of hard thinking, cried out triumphantly: "The swing!"
At Ryan's inquiring look, she gave him a smile that loosened the tightness in his chest immediately and happily declared, "We can swing. Even my mum likes swinging. So it must be okay for adults too."
To forestall any excuse Ryan might come up with she quickly added. "Stephen can push you to get higher. When mum swings my dad helps her too."
Inwardly sighing, Ryan followed Katie to the swing stand. For the sake of the children he would put up with the small swing seat and endure the chains biting into his hip. The three had accepted him without any reservation and taken him into their circle. He owed them a lot. So giving them a few more happy moments with him was the least he could do.
Ryan grinned from ear to ear as Stephen's first push sent him high up into the air close to the height Katie had already reached. He enjoyed the feeling of the wind whooshing past his face which awoke memories of the infinite freedom he had felt as a child every time he had built up momentum. He wished he could bottle up this feeling to keep it with him forever.
Next to him he heard Bobby and Francis whooping with joy as they tried to outdo Katie and Katie's bell-like laugh as they failed.
Knowing it was the last time he would spend time with his young friends, Ryan tried to memorise every moment but he knew that the memories would fade soon and become one of those things that he would remember fondly but without real emotional attachment. Just as the small everyday occurrences of the time he spent in a child-like frame of mind with Stephen and the team already had started to fade.
Stephen pushed Ryan's swing higher and higher until Ryan finally surpassed even Katie. Under the jeering of Bobby and Francis, Ryan smiled apologetically at Katie and through a thin haze of tears he silently bade farewell to the children to whom he had sworn eternal friendship just a few weeks ago.