and things are starting to fit just right.
if life wasnt so full of unpredicatable things, where would the fun be? would it be more simple? yes. but it's half the part of growing up. i'll take the rest as it comes...
me and amanda went out tonight.
i feel like that's all i need to say. it just was. it was right.
i miss sheree. a lot. vcu never seemed so far away to me. unfortunate that she had to go, especially since we're all about to leave eachother in a year anyway. one year early just doesn't seem fair.
so i always wonder what's going to happen after we all graduate and go our seperate ways. everyone always says they'll keep in touch, yet the ocassional calls seem to become to fake.
my parents say, it's the friends you meet in college that will stay with you forever.
but what if i'm okay with the friends i have now? i guess leaving high school and graduating means leaving everything else, except for maybe the countless memories. again, this doesnt seem fair. so, i don't miss him anymore.maybe closure was all i really needed. just to know he felt half as bad as i have ever felt. maybe it was good to know he's sorry. yet, it doesn't make it better. i still won't ever forget how i felt that day.
so where do we go from here? is this the way we planned it? no.. not at all. i'm lost without a map, and what i'm supposed to do with us, i don't think i'll ever know. yet you don't either..things are just, invisible. this is hard.
so then what do i do with the other one?
he's changed. it's hard to even talk anymore.
but wait, he doesn't talk to me anymore. he dissappeared with a last "fuck you" to constantly remind me of everything that was left.
you've changed. i tried to make things better, i just wanted you to miss me the same way that i missed you.
i was such a fool for thinking you'd always be here.
--besides what are true friends if they stay around all the time?
whatever.