Those weird commie times!
Greetings, comrades & comradesses dudes & dudettes! In the name of Marxism-Leninism, here's a glimpse of a time long past... Eh, well, perhaps not so long. We might be giggling now when we look back at those days, but we sure didn't feel like laughing back then. Nah, that's actually not true. If there was one thing that kept us going at the time, it was the ability to laugh at ourselves. So here goes...
"Everything in the name of the human, all for the human's well-being!" Which person who was born before the 90s in East Europe wouldn't recall slogans like these from the years of "ripe socialism" as it was called here? And, as the local folk lore claims, everyone even knew the name of that particular "human" that's being had in mind. We used to live with these little semi-truths, content that there was someone to show us the way, and tell us what's good for us and do all the thinking and planning for us. After all, it was a planned economy; a planned society, even more so. Ah, the marvels of the father-knows-best state!
Slogans, or more precisely the political slogans as it were, are one of the main instruments of state propaganda, I'm sure you're aware. This phenomenon flourished at a time when the political situation was such that it boiled down to easily memorable phrases and talking points formulated in sentences so simple that even a baby would remember them. Sounds familiar? Well, the slogan has always had the funciton of outlining the main political guidelines of the official party line, to emotionally bind people behind a cause. Being flamed up around the few existing media at the time, all of them state-controlled, it was an effective tool of directing people's actions and perceptions in certain ways, regardless of their personal preferences and inclinations. Hell, we were even required to have radios in our homes (called "radio points") that were always switched on, seldom broadcasting anything, except on special occasions when we'd hear a voice echoing in our living-rooms, yelling orders: "9 a.m. tomorrow, do not forget to be at the central square for the celebration of September 9!" (that was the day of the successful commie coup that started a 45-year period of socialism here).
There was this joke that if the "radio point" stops broadcasting static noise and no voice comes out of it, that means the Americans have already dropped the nukes and it's game over.
Nowadays, slogans are rather a commercial thing. There's a whole science about composing them, writing them, inventing messages that would reach right into people's souls and brains. Back in those days, this was an even trickier job, and quite a dangerous one at that, in case the author was a dissident who dared express a heretic message.
And then, there were of course all those tons of ridiculously stupid slogans, written by people who had gone too far in their servile ass-licking to the powers-that-be. We used to secretly laugh at them at the time, tell anecdotes in hushed voices about the people who stood behind them. Now they sound mostly incomprehensible, weird, alien even. As Georgi Markov said, a prominent dissident who was killed by commie agents in London using the infamous "Bulgarian umbrella", "Sometimes I wish I could make a catalogue of all the crazy bullshit, all the megalomaniac phrases, the horribly unintelligent slogans uttered by all those former and current political demigods. But still, I think the regime deliberately insisted that we keep parroting a pile of nonsense, just so they could kill the last remaining traces of resistance of our own waning dignity"...
Caption: "Vote for the candidates of the Fatherland Front - for our joyful socialist future!"
Anyway... What will follow here is a rather inexhaustive list of some of the most comical and mindless slogans and notes from a time that is fast sinking into oblivion, but whose traces and heritage still remain with us to this very day. (With some context added here and there):
"Use the break at work for what it is intended for". -- a note at the Lovech forced-labor camp.
"Persons in folk costumes will not be granted medical assistance!" -- a note at the doctor's cabinet in a Rhodope village during the infamous Revival Process, which saw the ethnic persecution of the Turk minority, including an attempt to substitute their names with Bulgarian ones (i.e. forceful Bulgarization).
"Speaking foreign languages is forbidden!" -- a note on a bus in the predominantly Turk-inhabited southeast during the Revival Process.
"Long live September 10, the Day of the People's Militsia - the people's only pillar of people's power!" -- a slogan at the railway station in Pazardzhik.
"The Militsia belongs to the people, and the people belong to the Militsia" -- a slogan by communist dictator Todor Zhivkov, and ironically very true, btw.
"All demented people, fight for peace!" -- a propaganda slogan at a mental institution.
"The People's Militsia - the Party's beating heart!" -- speaks for itself.
"Let us collect people's bread in time!" -- at a wheat cooperative farm.
"The USSR - the fatherland of all people without fatherland!" -- grafitti beside the railway, could be seen from trains.
"We make shoes with skin from the client". -- at a shoe-making cooperative factory; sounds kinda ominous.
"Even the smallest fire is a shame to the good collective!" -- at a leather and clothes shop in Kazanlak, the 70s.
Caption: "Tipping causes violation of order, and deterioration of the quality of the bath attendant's services. Dear citizens, do not give tips!"
"Hygienization is the enemy of bacteriological diversion!" -- at the same bath.
"The flea is the Fatherland's most dangerous enemy. Kill the flea!"
"Do not place alien bodies in your mouth!" -- nothing has been mentioned about anal probing...
"A dirty body keeps spirits restless!" -- at another public bath.
"Undress quickly, others are waiting in the line behind you!" -- kinkyyy!
"To the Party - only loyalty; to the people - clean water!" -- at the water supply company.
"We promise to bring down the price of a person-per-bed-per-day by 0.02 cents" -- at a hostel.
"Bath-attendant brigade for communist labor N. V. Gogol".
"More children in each family - more young soldiers for the Fatherland!" -- a poster at a kindergarten.
Caption: "[We shall complete] the Five-year plan - just for four years!"
"Let us cover the young mares in time!"
"Cattle in every home!" -- a slogan in the Science and Art magazine.
"Dear students, spare the trash! It is for You!" -- a slogan at a students' canteen.
"25 years of people's rule - 25 years of Bulgarian circus!" -- a jubilee poster at the circus dome; and circus indeed it was!
"Communism is inevitable!" -- at a Party headquarters.
"Dear citizens, prepare for trash!" -- a call to recycle trash.
"Every cooperative member - a swine! Every communist - two swines!" -- a slogan at a northern village, propagandizing the Party directive for intensified private swine production.
"Dear peasants, please dispose of your trash outside the boundaries of the village!"
"Every egg is a bomb, every chicken, a flying fortress against the aggressor!" -- a slogan at a poultry farm. Ah, those badass iron chickens!
Caption: "Caution! There are no spare parts for the human body; please protect yourself from accident!"
"The human is the main unit in stock-breeding." -- at a cooperative farm.
"Bulgarian means quality; Topolovgrad means even more excellent quality!"
"The bear bathes in the sparkling creeks of silver. What hinders you from acting like a bear?" -- a rhyming poster propagandizing cleanliness.
"Please enter the Director's cabinet only in case of great need!" -- in our language, 'great need' is a way to denote defecation.
"With all forces, five for four!" -- obviously, the intention is to say that the five-year plan should be completed for 4 years, but in our language 'five for four' means to do something carelessly - which, ironically, is exactly what completing a 5-years' job for 4 years actually means.
"Every meat-ball is a bullet in the battle with world imperialism!" -- we do have marvelous meat-balls here, and other such delicious things.
"The Soviet sick people are the world's healthiest sick people!" -- of course, nothing is better than the Soviets. Even Soviet shit smells like daisies, amirite?
"We shall not let even one patient die without doctor's aid!" -- a slogan at a socialist hospital; and they were pretty good at implementing that principle - quite literally.
"Not a single plum tree shall remain unshaken in our village!" -- at a cooperative plum farm; in our language though, 'plum' is used as a synonym for pussy, and 'shaking the plum' means... well, you're already guessing what it means. ;-)
"All communists - underground!" -- a slogan at a mine; for all I know, could also mean six feet under - and it often did...
Caption: "Communism - bright future for all humanity!"
"20 years of fruitful exchange of circus tricks between USSR and the People's Republic of Bulgaria!" -- a slogan at the circus; indeed circus tricks those were!
"Let us enter communism with polished shoes!" -- at a shoeblack shop.
"Today all day is a sanitary half-day". -- at a library entrance; sanitary half-days (called Lenin Sanitary Half-Days) were those mornings (or afternoons) designated for cleaning all around the place - those "radio points" that I mentioned above were being used to instruct people to grab the mops and buckets and go out in the streets and around those huge concrete residential blocks that they inhabited.
"Even one marriage allowed, spells trouble for the whole collective" -- at an industrial factory; we can't allow those pesky babies to start popping around and preventing the communist lady-workers from doing their jobs, eh? Don't mind the contradiction with that other slogan that calls for giving birth to as many foot-soldiers for communism as possible, mhmm?
"Never consume alcohol before drinking!" -- at a (communist) pub; curiously, people always followed that order.
"In relation to the repair works at the canteen, food will be delivered through the rear entrance". -- at a military barracks; ironically, sexual harassment was just one among many excesses that were being regularly practiced in the military (which was compulsory for all men, btw).
Caption: "We prepare very hard for our arrival at the daily shift - at the workshop, in the factory, beside the lathe, by the loom".
"In honor of September 9, let us grant a nice grin for every citizen!" -- at a dentist's; the original word has a dual meaning though: both 'grin / bare one's teeth' and 'cause starvation'.
"Every jar of compote is a fist in the face of imperialism!" -- at a canning factory near my city Plovdiv.
"Keep/hold your hose in good shape!" -- at a cooperative rice-field farm; kinky!
"30 years of socialist Batak!" -- except, apart from being the name of a heroic town, 'batak' is also a Turkish word for 'swamp', colloquially being used around here for dreadfully miserable, hopeless situations.
"Ronald Reagan, enemy number 1 of the Tutrakan village system!" -- at the entrance of the town of Tutrakan by the Romanian border.
"Everything in the name of the human, all for the human's well-being!" Which person who was born before the 90s in East Europe wouldn't recall slogans like these from the years of "ripe socialism" as it was called here? And, as the local folk lore claims, everyone even knew the name of that particular "human" that's being had in mind. We used to live with these little semi-truths, content that there was someone to show us the way, and tell us what's good for us and do all the thinking and planning for us. After all, it was a planned economy; a planned society, even more so. Ah, the marvels of the father-knows-best state!
Slogans, or more precisely the political slogans as it were, are one of the main instruments of state propaganda, I'm sure you're aware. This phenomenon flourished at a time when the political situation was such that it boiled down to easily memorable phrases and talking points formulated in sentences so simple that even a baby would remember them. Sounds familiar? Well, the slogan has always had the funciton of outlining the main political guidelines of the official party line, to emotionally bind people behind a cause. Being flamed up around the few existing media at the time, all of them state-controlled, it was an effective tool of directing people's actions and perceptions in certain ways, regardless of their personal preferences and inclinations. Hell, we were even required to have radios in our homes (called "radio points") that were always switched on, seldom broadcasting anything, except on special occasions when we'd hear a voice echoing in our living-rooms, yelling orders: "9 a.m. tomorrow, do not forget to be at the central square for the celebration of September 9!" (that was the day of the successful commie coup that started a 45-year period of socialism here).
There was this joke that if the "radio point" stops broadcasting static noise and no voice comes out of it, that means the Americans have already dropped the nukes and it's game over.
Nowadays, slogans are rather a commercial thing. There's a whole science about composing them, writing them, inventing messages that would reach right into people's souls and brains. Back in those days, this was an even trickier job, and quite a dangerous one at that, in case the author was a dissident who dared express a heretic message.
And then, there were of course all those tons of ridiculously stupid slogans, written by people who had gone too far in their servile ass-licking to the powers-that-be. We used to secretly laugh at them at the time, tell anecdotes in hushed voices about the people who stood behind them. Now they sound mostly incomprehensible, weird, alien even. As Georgi Markov said, a prominent dissident who was killed by commie agents in London using the infamous "Bulgarian umbrella", "Sometimes I wish I could make a catalogue of all the crazy bullshit, all the megalomaniac phrases, the horribly unintelligent slogans uttered by all those former and current political demigods. But still, I think the regime deliberately insisted that we keep parroting a pile of nonsense, just so they could kill the last remaining traces of resistance of our own waning dignity"...
Caption: "Vote for the candidates of the Fatherland Front - for our joyful socialist future!"
Anyway... What will follow here is a rather inexhaustive list of some of the most comical and mindless slogans and notes from a time that is fast sinking into oblivion, but whose traces and heritage still remain with us to this very day. (With some context added here and there):
"Use the break at work for what it is intended for". -- a note at the Lovech forced-labor camp.
"Persons in folk costumes will not be granted medical assistance!" -- a note at the doctor's cabinet in a Rhodope village during the infamous Revival Process, which saw the ethnic persecution of the Turk minority, including an attempt to substitute their names with Bulgarian ones (i.e. forceful Bulgarization).
"Speaking foreign languages is forbidden!" -- a note on a bus in the predominantly Turk-inhabited southeast during the Revival Process.
"Long live September 10, the Day of the People's Militsia - the people's only pillar of people's power!" -- a slogan at the railway station in Pazardzhik.
"The Militsia belongs to the people, and the people belong to the Militsia" -- a slogan by communist dictator Todor Zhivkov, and ironically very true, btw.
"All demented people, fight for peace!" -- a propaganda slogan at a mental institution.
"The People's Militsia - the Party's beating heart!" -- speaks for itself.
"Let us collect people's bread in time!" -- at a wheat cooperative farm.
"The USSR - the fatherland of all people without fatherland!" -- grafitti beside the railway, could be seen from trains.
"We make shoes with skin from the client". -- at a shoe-making cooperative factory; sounds kinda ominous.
"Even the smallest fire is a shame to the good collective!" -- at a leather and clothes shop in Kazanlak, the 70s.
Caption: "Tipping causes violation of order, and deterioration of the quality of the bath attendant's services. Dear citizens, do not give tips!"
"Hygienization is the enemy of bacteriological diversion!" -- at the same bath.
"The flea is the Fatherland's most dangerous enemy. Kill the flea!"
"Do not place alien bodies in your mouth!" -- nothing has been mentioned about anal probing...
"A dirty body keeps spirits restless!" -- at another public bath.
"Undress quickly, others are waiting in the line behind you!" -- kinkyyy!
"To the Party - only loyalty; to the people - clean water!" -- at the water supply company.
"We promise to bring down the price of a person-per-bed-per-day by 0.02 cents" -- at a hostel.
"Bath-attendant brigade for communist labor N. V. Gogol".
"More children in each family - more young soldiers for the Fatherland!" -- a poster at a kindergarten.
Caption: "[We shall complete] the Five-year plan - just for four years!"
"Let us cover the young mares in time!"
"Cattle in every home!" -- a slogan in the Science and Art magazine.
"Dear students, spare the trash! It is for You!" -- a slogan at a students' canteen.
"25 years of people's rule - 25 years of Bulgarian circus!" -- a jubilee poster at the circus dome; and circus indeed it was!
"Communism is inevitable!" -- at a Party headquarters.
"Dear citizens, prepare for trash!" -- a call to recycle trash.
"Every cooperative member - a swine! Every communist - two swines!" -- a slogan at a northern village, propagandizing the Party directive for intensified private swine production.
"Dear peasants, please dispose of your trash outside the boundaries of the village!"
"Every egg is a bomb, every chicken, a flying fortress against the aggressor!" -- a slogan at a poultry farm. Ah, those badass iron chickens!
Caption: "Caution! There are no spare parts for the human body; please protect yourself from accident!"
"The human is the main unit in stock-breeding." -- at a cooperative farm.
"Bulgarian means quality; Topolovgrad means even more excellent quality!"
"The bear bathes in the sparkling creeks of silver. What hinders you from acting like a bear?" -- a rhyming poster propagandizing cleanliness.
"Please enter the Director's cabinet only in case of great need!" -- in our language, 'great need' is a way to denote defecation.
"With all forces, five for four!" -- obviously, the intention is to say that the five-year plan should be completed for 4 years, but in our language 'five for four' means to do something carelessly - which, ironically, is exactly what completing a 5-years' job for 4 years actually means.
"Every meat-ball is a bullet in the battle with world imperialism!" -- we do have marvelous meat-balls here, and other such delicious things.
"The Soviet sick people are the world's healthiest sick people!" -- of course, nothing is better than the Soviets. Even Soviet shit smells like daisies, amirite?
"We shall not let even one patient die without doctor's aid!" -- a slogan at a socialist hospital; and they were pretty good at implementing that principle - quite literally.
"Not a single plum tree shall remain unshaken in our village!" -- at a cooperative plum farm; in our language though, 'plum' is used as a synonym for pussy, and 'shaking the plum' means... well, you're already guessing what it means. ;-)
"All communists - underground!" -- a slogan at a mine; for all I know, could also mean six feet under - and it often did...
Caption: "Communism - bright future for all humanity!"
"20 years of fruitful exchange of circus tricks between USSR and the People's Republic of Bulgaria!" -- a slogan at the circus; indeed circus tricks those were!
"Let us enter communism with polished shoes!" -- at a shoeblack shop.
"Today all day is a sanitary half-day". -- at a library entrance; sanitary half-days (called Lenin Sanitary Half-Days) were those mornings (or afternoons) designated for cleaning all around the place - those "radio points" that I mentioned above were being used to instruct people to grab the mops and buckets and go out in the streets and around those huge concrete residential blocks that they inhabited.
"Even one marriage allowed, spells trouble for the whole collective" -- at an industrial factory; we can't allow those pesky babies to start popping around and preventing the communist lady-workers from doing their jobs, eh? Don't mind the contradiction with that other slogan that calls for giving birth to as many foot-soldiers for communism as possible, mhmm?
"Never consume alcohol before drinking!" -- at a (communist) pub; curiously, people always followed that order.
"In relation to the repair works at the canteen, food will be delivered through the rear entrance". -- at a military barracks; ironically, sexual harassment was just one among many excesses that were being regularly practiced in the military (which was compulsory for all men, btw).
Caption: "We prepare very hard for our arrival at the daily shift - at the workshop, in the factory, beside the lathe, by the loom".
"In honor of September 9, let us grant a nice grin for every citizen!" -- at a dentist's; the original word has a dual meaning though: both 'grin / bare one's teeth' and 'cause starvation'.
"Every jar of compote is a fist in the face of imperialism!" -- at a canning factory near my city Plovdiv.
"Keep/hold your hose in good shape!" -- at a cooperative rice-field farm; kinky!
"30 years of socialist Batak!" -- except, apart from being the name of a heroic town, 'batak' is also a Turkish word for 'swamp', colloquially being used around here for dreadfully miserable, hopeless situations.
"Ronald Reagan, enemy number 1 of the Tutrakan village system!" -- at the entrance of the town of Tutrakan by the Romanian border.