Most annoying "arguments"
I'm sure most of us have had a moment or two when all they wanted was to smack somebody with something heavy on the head, or reach across the screen and grab their opponent and strangle them with their bare hands. Thing is, it's not just the sheer obtuse stubbornness and/or deliberate tickling of the most sensitive nerves in the most unpleasant way imaginable, that would tend to bring us to the brink of having a head ass-plosion... It's often catch-phrases and worn-out rhetorical tricks being extensively used by the "other side", that would eventually trigger something homicidal within us during a debate.
I'd like you to dig for some of the most rage-inducing and overused rhetorical tricks and arguments you've encountered during your long sojourn on the Internets, and share them with us, so we could note their stupidity, and possibly refer to that list at a later time, whenever some annoying sonobitch uses them again. >:-]
So come along, and join the list!
"I didn't get a satisfactory answer to my question, therefore your point is invalid".
"Here's a link to PrisonPlanet which proves that I'm correct". (And before I read about it on PrisonPlanet, I didn't even know this issue existed. Thank God for PrisonPlanet!)
"Your opinion is wrong and/or doesn't matter. Unless you give me a link with evidence that supports it... which I'm planning to dismiss anyway, since it comes from someone I disagree with".
"Your politically biased source is worthless because it's politically biased - as clearly demonstrated by my politically biased source".
"Let everyone see how nasty and mean the other side is and see them for the evil monsters that they are". (But don't ask me to point out the nasty and monstrous things my own side does).
"Let everyone see what bad and evil things this tiny group is doing. Obviously, this is an example of how that other larger group they belong to, is as bad and evil".
"Link or it didn't happen! No, that link sucks, gimme another link!"
"Evidence!? Why would I need any evidence, since I have logic and common sense? Duh."
"The communists / fascists / socialists / Nazi / Muslims / Stalin / Hitler / Pol Pot ate cheese. Therefore, cheese is evil and if you eat cheese, chances are that you're evil too".
"This piece of legislation is a slippery slope to a place we wouldn't like to be in. It's what brought Hitler around, and it'll probably bring another Hitler again if we keep sliding down that slope".
"So what you're saying is that you don't mind killing babies? And by the way, now that you've implicitly confessed about beating your wife, when are you planning to stop doing it?"
"This group believes the government should take care of every part of their life!" / "That group believes the invisible hand will take care of everything, so they don't have to care about anything!"
"But this statement wasn't meant to be factual! I was only joking! Too bad you're not smart enough to detect my subtle humor!"
"Think about the children!"
"Do you have children? No? So you don't understand anything concerning children".
"Look at this piece of data spanning a 10-year period. Just... look at it! Doesn't it prove my claim about a tendency spanning centuries?"
"I'm of the X political persuasion. That guy claims to be of the X persuasion, but he said something I disagree with, therefore he's not really of the X persuasion, he only pretends to be".
"Those guys have made lifestyle choices that are radically different from mine. Therefore they're lacking in morals".
"Yeah, nice post, but look at this minor detail that you got wrong over there. And how about your spelling! Let's explore your failures there. The major point of your post doesn't matter right now, we might come back to it at a later time... or maybe not".
"Your English is dismal, so here's a macro or two mocking you. The point you were making? What point?"
"I'm sure the issues you're raising are very important for someone living at the other side of the planet, but since that's the OTHER side of the planet, it's none of my concern, I don't understand what you're talking about, I don't care, it doesn't matter, so here's a macro mocking you. What? Why are you so annoyed? What did you call me? Mods! He called me a bad thing! And I was only joking!"
"I really really want to address the points you're making, but I don't have time right now. There's a baseball game starting in a minute, and then a hot girl is waiting for me with a glass of wine". (Never to return to address the points, even after being prompted a few days later).
"You don't understand what the meaning of X is. The meaning you're giving me is not the true meaning of X".
"I've been to place X / experienced phenomenon Y, so I know everything about place X / phenomenon Y. And since you haven't, you'd better shut up".
"Let's put your argument aside for a while and talk about what a horrible person you are. Once we've established that, the wrongness of your argument comes naturally".
"Your evidence is worthless, since the guys providing it are in a conspiracy with those other people I'm trying to demonize".
"Don't trust the mainstream media, they're in bed with big business / the government / some agenda that I don't like. Never mind that I'm citing a source from the mainstream media, it's not really mainstream, but instead is a maverick media disguised as mainstream".
"You've drunken the kool aid of the herd hive mind; meanwhile, I'm an independent thinker, a maverick, a non-conformist. And you're just a herd of brainwashed sheeple who can't think for themselves, and the fact that you're mocking the preposterous conspiracy theories that I'm spewing, only proves how brainwashed you are and how intellectually superior I am to all of you".
"Obviously you're not smart enough to 'get it', and you're not worth wasting my precious time with. And yet here I am, spending hours upon hours, writing dozens upon dozens of comments going with you in circles".
"What's this? Am I being dogpiled? I've counted at least 5 people disagreeing with the insane nonsense I've just spewed - that must mean there's a backstage group conspiracy against me. Tell me, who's the mastermind of this dog-pile?"
"Cite every single one of all your sentences, or else Im'ma declare your point moot". (Im'ma declare it moot eventually, anyway; but let me first enjoy watching you suffer in search of all those useless citations).
"Tell that to group X". (Or any other appeal to popularity / authority).
"Last time I checked..." (Or any other condescending catch-phrase).
"My group should be granted more rights than the other group, since their cause is more just".
"You criticized group X, ergo you're anti-X-ist / X-hater".
"I'm sure the lengthy argument full of relevant links and citations that you've just made, is very apt and it probably proves your point... but it's TL/DR so I'm gonna ignore it completely (or pick a minor part of it that doesn't sound exactly right, and start digging there instead)".
"Let me tell you of the logical fallacy you've just used (demonstrating how much smarter than you I am, btw), while completely ignoring the gist of the point you're making".
I'd like you to dig for some of the most rage-inducing and overused rhetorical tricks and arguments you've encountered during your long sojourn on the Internets, and share them with us, so we could note their stupidity, and possibly refer to that list at a later time, whenever some annoying sonobitch uses them again. >:-]
So come along, and join the list!
"I didn't get a satisfactory answer to my question, therefore your point is invalid".
"Here's a link to PrisonPlanet which proves that I'm correct". (And before I read about it on PrisonPlanet, I didn't even know this issue existed. Thank God for PrisonPlanet!)
"Your opinion is wrong and/or doesn't matter. Unless you give me a link with evidence that supports it... which I'm planning to dismiss anyway, since it comes from someone I disagree with".
"Your politically biased source is worthless because it's politically biased - as clearly demonstrated by my politically biased source".
"Let everyone see how nasty and mean the other side is and see them for the evil monsters that they are". (But don't ask me to point out the nasty and monstrous things my own side does).
"Let everyone see what bad and evil things this tiny group is doing. Obviously, this is an example of how that other larger group they belong to, is as bad and evil".
"Link or it didn't happen! No, that link sucks, gimme another link!"
"Evidence!? Why would I need any evidence, since I have logic and common sense? Duh."
"The communists / fascists / socialists / Nazi / Muslims / Stalin / Hitler / Pol Pot ate cheese. Therefore, cheese is evil and if you eat cheese, chances are that you're evil too".
"This piece of legislation is a slippery slope to a place we wouldn't like to be in. It's what brought Hitler around, and it'll probably bring another Hitler again if we keep sliding down that slope".
"So what you're saying is that you don't mind killing babies? And by the way, now that you've implicitly confessed about beating your wife, when are you planning to stop doing it?"
"This group believes the government should take care of every part of their life!" / "That group believes the invisible hand will take care of everything, so they don't have to care about anything!"
"But this statement wasn't meant to be factual! I was only joking! Too bad you're not smart enough to detect my subtle humor!"
"Think about the children!"
"Do you have children? No? So you don't understand anything concerning children".
"Look at this piece of data spanning a 10-year period. Just... look at it! Doesn't it prove my claim about a tendency spanning centuries?"
"I'm of the X political persuasion. That guy claims to be of the X persuasion, but he said something I disagree with, therefore he's not really of the X persuasion, he only pretends to be".
"Those guys have made lifestyle choices that are radically different from mine. Therefore they're lacking in morals".
"Yeah, nice post, but look at this minor detail that you got wrong over there. And how about your spelling! Let's explore your failures there. The major point of your post doesn't matter right now, we might come back to it at a later time... or maybe not".
"Your English is dismal, so here's a macro or two mocking you. The point you were making? What point?"
"I'm sure the issues you're raising are very important for someone living at the other side of the planet, but since that's the OTHER side of the planet, it's none of my concern, I don't understand what you're talking about, I don't care, it doesn't matter, so here's a macro mocking you. What? Why are you so annoyed? What did you call me? Mods! He called me a bad thing! And I was only joking!"
"I really really want to address the points you're making, but I don't have time right now. There's a baseball game starting in a minute, and then a hot girl is waiting for me with a glass of wine". (Never to return to address the points, even after being prompted a few days later).
"You don't understand what the meaning of X is. The meaning you're giving me is not the true meaning of X".
"I've been to place X / experienced phenomenon Y, so I know everything about place X / phenomenon Y. And since you haven't, you'd better shut up".
"Let's put your argument aside for a while and talk about what a horrible person you are. Once we've established that, the wrongness of your argument comes naturally".
"Your evidence is worthless, since the guys providing it are in a conspiracy with those other people I'm trying to demonize".
"Don't trust the mainstream media, they're in bed with big business / the government / some agenda that I don't like. Never mind that I'm citing a source from the mainstream media, it's not really mainstream, but instead is a maverick media disguised as mainstream".
"You've drunken the kool aid of the herd hive mind; meanwhile, I'm an independent thinker, a maverick, a non-conformist. And you're just a herd of brainwashed sheeple who can't think for themselves, and the fact that you're mocking the preposterous conspiracy theories that I'm spewing, only proves how brainwashed you are and how intellectually superior I am to all of you".
"Obviously you're not smart enough to 'get it', and you're not worth wasting my precious time with. And yet here I am, spending hours upon hours, writing dozens upon dozens of comments going with you in circles".
"What's this? Am I being dogpiled? I've counted at least 5 people disagreeing with the insane nonsense I've just spewed - that must mean there's a backstage group conspiracy against me. Tell me, who's the mastermind of this dog-pile?"
"Cite every single one of all your sentences, or else Im'ma declare your point moot". (Im'ma declare it moot eventually, anyway; but let me first enjoy watching you suffer in search of all those useless citations).
"Tell that to group X". (Or any other appeal to popularity / authority).
"Last time I checked..." (Or any other condescending catch-phrase).
"My group should be granted more rights than the other group, since their cause is more just".
"You criticized group X, ergo you're anti-X-ist / X-hater".
"I'm sure the lengthy argument full of relevant links and citations that you've just made, is very apt and it probably proves your point... but it's TL/DR so I'm gonna ignore it completely (or pick a minor part of it that doesn't sound exactly right, and start digging there instead)".
"Let me tell you of the logical fallacy you've just used (demonstrating how much smarter than you I am, btw), while completely ignoring the gist of the point you're making".