When will you wake up? I want you more than the stars and the sun.
Valentine's day is ocming up. I'm always really depressed over it. I mean... I don't really like it. Even though I have a boyfriend. I just hate how men feel obligated to buy presents for their girlfriends/wives/whatever simply because if they don't they're sleeping on the couch. I think he should want to give it. I think that every day should have at least one token of gratitude for being someone's significant other/spouse/whatever - be it a kiss, a word, a card, a flower... something.
But I don't get those things. I told him I didn't want anything for the holiday. But he's insisting on getting something. I really don't know. Flowers wither and die. Chocolates will be eaten hastily. I told him, if he *really* wanted to do something for me.... take me out on a date. A DATE date. We haven't gone on one of those in years. But.... I don't think he's going to pull through.
I guess I'm just in a little depressed mood tonight. I don't know why. I wish I did. But a result of this is that I'm feeling mighty worthless. I feel that all my efforts - in everything, not just my relationships - are for nothing. I'm getting nowhere and getting nothing. I work so hard and don't get any kind of recognition. I don't even knwo what kind I should be getting... but it seems the harder I work, the more I stress and the more I get yelled at for something, the more shit rains down on my head.
And once... I'd like him to put some kind of thought and sincerity into this holiday. At this very minute, I don't feel appreciated. *sighs* But... I haven't much faith in anything right now. So perhaps this isn't the right time to discuss this further.
But I don't get those things. I told him I didn't want anything for the holiday. But he's insisting on getting something. I really don't know. Flowers wither and die. Chocolates will be eaten hastily. I told him, if he *really* wanted to do something for me.... take me out on a date. A DATE date. We haven't gone on one of those in years. But.... I don't think he's going to pull through.
I guess I'm just in a little depressed mood tonight. I don't know why. I wish I did. But a result of this is that I'm feeling mighty worthless. I feel that all my efforts - in everything, not just my relationships - are for nothing. I'm getting nowhere and getting nothing. I work so hard and don't get any kind of recognition. I don't even knwo what kind I should be getting... but it seems the harder I work, the more I stress and the more I get yelled at for something, the more shit rains down on my head.
And once... I'd like him to put some kind of thought and sincerity into this holiday. At this very minute, I don't feel appreciated. *sighs* But... I haven't much faith in anything right now. So perhaps this isn't the right time to discuss this further.