The Prank

[zia_montrose]

Part II

Title: Some Act of Glorious Heroism
Word Count: 2,020
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Drama
Summary: (Missing Moment as outlined in Prisoner of Azkaban) But your father, who’d heard what Sirius had done…

Written for the Beware the Ides of March challenge at 

Comments

[hrymfaxe]

OMG! You will continue this right? *am highly strung by this ending*

Having both Sirius and James in detention and communicating via the mirrors is, imo, a really genius way of telling this missing moment.

Sirius' frustration at being in detention on this night of all nights, and it all being (in his view at least) Snape's fault, go a long way towards explaining why he would tell Snape how to get to Remus. Even though it of course doesn't excuse it. I'm absolutely convinced that his opinion of Snape was such that he could not in his wildest dreams believe that Snape would have to courage to stick around when he discovered the secret.

And than we jump into James' headspace. His fidgeting after the snippets he overheard equaled mine. ;) I liked how his fear at being told what really happened finally made a dent in Sirius' convictions, but then they are interrupted..

Things I really liked in this:

The cloaked, insect-like figure of Severus Snape slipped surreptitiously through the gap. I can just see that this is how he would

[zia_montrose]

You are amusing me with your icons. ; )

Thank you so much for weighing in with a warm review and enjoying how this was written (though I’ll always take concrit too). When I first started giving the logistics of it some thought, I kept facing the same conundrum: Where was Sirius during James’s ‘act of glorious heroism’? I decided Sirius would never let James run down the tunnel and risk his life to correct for his, Sirius’s, actions (regardless of his motives for sending Snape there). And the boys obviously weren’t with Remus at the time, right? So that’s what led me to using the detentions and mirrors.

And, being firmly in the Gryffindor and Sirius camp myself, I wanted to load the evidence in Sirius’s favor a bit (I was glad to get your reaction on that), yet I felt I couldn’t completely exonerate him either. I’m sure someone with different sympathies could tell the story differently.

Now, tell me you are writing more? Thanks for the encouragement-I’ll thrive off that! : ) It’s partially written (maybe I should try to

[hrymfaxe]

Let me see if I can keep it up with the icons. ;)

You are right that there are things, like for example Sirius' leaving it to James to clear up his mess, that sounds wrong against the other things we know. That's why it's so much fun to try and explain how it all could have happened.

This is indeed a controversial moment, depending on where your sympathies lie. I think you have presented a very plausible scenario, where both sides are at fault, and, generally, are just being stupid teenage boys! ;)

Bon courage for the action writing. I hope your mind makes itself up on that one point, so I can see where this goes. Not that I don't know the general direction of course, but still. :)

Can I friend you btw (your regular lj)? Especially now that I have a special place in your heart that I treasure very much! ;)

[zia_montrose]

"Feathers McGraw slipped surrepticiously through the gap with his remote control box..."

I do like chalking lots up to teenage boy stupidity, thank you. : )

Yes, please do friend my journal. I post sporatically, but it would be fun seeing you there. I've friended you as well.

Oh, I hope you noticed my icon of choice for this fic journal, btw. Thank you for those. They are seriously awesome. That whole banner. Was too tired this morning to remember I'd used it here.

[train_lindz]

YOU NEED TO KEEP GOING!!!!!!!!!

You are leaving me hanging and unfulfilled!!! What happens next!?!?!?!??!?!

(Unfulfilled in that good way, because I'm dying for more, not because I don't like it, because I did and it was fantastic and truly needed all that sparkle text!!!!)

[zia_montrose]

Oh, a *SPARKLY* review!!! You guys are seriously awesome over this way. Not only do you post enticing challenges with rad art and write engrossing fics, but sparkly reviews...? I’ve never received a sparkly review before. I’m utterly spoiled forever. : D

I see that the benefit of meeting the May 1 deadline with this apparent cliffhanger is that I now have til June 1st to resolve.

Thank you for such a nice review. They count double from insightful Sirius fans, you know. ; )

[duck_or_rabbit]

Oh, wow! Your knack for building suspense it spot on. There were honestly parts that brought chills, and I groaned when I finally got to the bit when Sirius confessed he's told Severus about the knot.

You write action absolutely fluidly and your account of how James and Sirius speak through the two-way mirror was skillfully rendered because seeing Sirius' fingers, seeing the colors twist and fade in and out was all there for me as I read.

This moment dovetails straight into canon and answers questions I've had about why Sirius gave up his friend's secret. And although I believe Sirius has extraordinary inner strength, he also behaves recklessly and you wove an eye-opening tapestry of him here as James grows aware of exactly how far Sirius took matters with Severus

[zia_montrose]

Very pleased to get your review, especially since yours in another insightful opinion. I do enjoy the way you write Sirius, so I'm pleased you find this scenario believable.

I so agree with you on Sirius’s strength. There are a few canon moments that nearly break my heart-his need to explain to Harry, that smile in the tunnel, and practically starving himself in that cave out of loyalty.

I know Sirius ultimately betrays Moony’s secret here and the general consensus is 'What was he thinking?' The explanation I come back to again and again in my own mind is: He wasn't thinking. Speaking from personal experience, ha, Gryffindors often seem to think with their hearts instead of their heads. So even though we are told by McGonogall that Sirius was 'exceptionally bright', I’m convinced his emotions spurred him to do what he did. And in a twisted way, those emotions tie back to loyalty to his friends: He's outraged that Snape is poking his nose into their critical business. And then there’s this idea I tried to weave that if Snape

[zia_montrose]

'Thank goodness Sluggy had exacting standards in confections.' Clever clever.

James and Slughorn have a special little relationship in my mind, so thank you for picking up on James's derisions.

[shimotsuki]

Ahh! Cliffhanger! Heh. I hope you will continue this -- it's really got me on the edge of my seat wondering how James will give Sluggy the slip and get to the Willow before it's too late.

I really like what you've done with the POV shift. Sirius's decision looks a lot more reckless and dangerous once we're outside of Sirius's own head...

I agree with hrymfaxe that the logistics of the situation are extremely well done -- separate detentions being an excellent explanation for why James acted alone, and for why James and Sirius weren't with Remus already to start with.

Your writing is full of physical details that make the scene very concrete to the reader. I especially like the way you describe what James is or isn't seeing through the mirror as Sirius keeps shoving it into his pocket. Slughorn's little decadent moments are great too, heh.

I do hope you continue this, and I will eagerly await the conclusion.

[zia_montrose]

I'm so happy to hear that something I wrote has put someone on the edge of their seat--and especially someone who writes as well as you do!

I agonized a bit over whether to do that POV shift or not, so thank you for bringing it up. I generally lug around this notion that a skilled writer should be able to show whatever they need to from one POV, so it took a little self-convincing that there was something to be gained from using both Sirius's and James's POV. Sirius's decision looks a lot more reckless and dangerous once we're outside of Sirius's own head... Oh, excellent. I’m glad to hear that. : )

Your noticing my physical details is another huge compliment as it's something I think you do very, very well