half the weekend gone
So I once again slept through all of today. There were a few times I opened my eyes, looked at the clock, thought "I should get out of bed," and then rolled back over. I'd shut the alarm off when it went off, and the "I should get out of bed and then don't" thing continued through the afternoon.
Most people will write this off as just sheer laziness on my part. "You could force yourself out of bed if you really wanted to, after all you manage to force yourself to leave your hotel rooms to teach 4 days a week when you're on the road, and you force yourself out of your own bed to go to work on-time most of the days you're not on the road, so if you really wanted to get out of bed on the weekends, you could."
It's hard to describe how I feel like there are two different personalities at work: my waking self and my half-asleep self. Once the waking self is in control, decisions are much easier to make. But shaking control of the half-asleep self is difficult even when I do have someplace to be and I know it. Decisions that seem so logical in half-asleep mode become obviously poor decisions once waking self has taken over. If I miss a weekend event or am late for it, I often feel guilty later once waking self has taken over and realizes that half-asleep self made a poor decision.
By the way, the reverse also happens, as witnessed by last Monday night's lack of sleep because waking self could not, or would not, stop obsessing over work stuff that I clearly could do nothing about at 3 or 4 am.
Frustrating, especially when I lose a weekend in which I could have been writing, or at least reading or catching up on television. When I say I did nothing but stay in bed, I mean exactly that: I slept, at whatever level of consciousness. There was no "reading in bed" or anything else.
And of course, the massive amount of sleep often results in a headache, if not a migraine, due to dehydration, teeth-grinding, and other fun ancilliary "benefits" of sleeping so much.
And yes, I have tried setting stronger sleep habits for myself -- it doesn't matter if I go to bed on a regular schedule or not. Half-asleep self is almost impossible to shake except in the most extreme circumstances (ie, it's going to cause me to lose my job; self-preservation, essentially).
Friday night, I did make it to the write-in at Borders and managed to bring myself up to just shut of 4,000 words. Still way behind the pace, and obviously have not done any writing tonight, nor book-blogging.
Most people will write this off as just sheer laziness on my part. "You could force yourself out of bed if you really wanted to, after all you manage to force yourself to leave your hotel rooms to teach 4 days a week when you're on the road, and you force yourself out of your own bed to go to work on-time most of the days you're not on the road, so if you really wanted to get out of bed on the weekends, you could."
It's hard to describe how I feel like there are two different personalities at work: my waking self and my half-asleep self. Once the waking self is in control, decisions are much easier to make. But shaking control of the half-asleep self is difficult even when I do have someplace to be and I know it. Decisions that seem so logical in half-asleep mode become obviously poor decisions once waking self has taken over. If I miss a weekend event or am late for it, I often feel guilty later once waking self has taken over and realizes that half-asleep self made a poor decision.
By the way, the reverse also happens, as witnessed by last Monday night's lack of sleep because waking self could not, or would not, stop obsessing over work stuff that I clearly could do nothing about at 3 or 4 am.
Frustrating, especially when I lose a weekend in which I could have been writing, or at least reading or catching up on television. When I say I did nothing but stay in bed, I mean exactly that: I slept, at whatever level of consciousness. There was no "reading in bed" or anything else.
And of course, the massive amount of sleep often results in a headache, if not a migraine, due to dehydration, teeth-grinding, and other fun ancilliary "benefits" of sleeping so much.
And yes, I have tried setting stronger sleep habits for myself -- it doesn't matter if I go to bed on a regular schedule or not. Half-asleep self is almost impossible to shake except in the most extreme circumstances (ie, it's going to cause me to lose my job; self-preservation, essentially).
Friday night, I did make it to the write-in at Borders and managed to bring myself up to just shut of 4,000 words. Still way behind the pace, and obviously have not done any writing tonight, nor book-blogging.