It's all in how you mix the two.
So ... miss me? Doubtful, I know, but it has been a while, hasn't it? For many reasons, I didn't exactly feel like sitting down to write up a bunch of entries about my feelings and thoughts, or what's been going on, because none of it was much of what I wanted put out there for anyone to skim over, pass over and ... I don't know. From my own life, to Lufi's, Draco's, all of my friends, there was just so much bad news ... Most of it was just too real as it was, and to think of writing it all down was as far from appealing as it could get.
I have to say, now, that things have improved beyond belief. I have seen that both Lufi and Pax wrote to some degree about what happened, so I don't think there is much need for me to ... Frankly, I still don't want to. That's left for the therapist, or Lufi, or even Pax, if anything else needs to be discussed or talked about, but I do want to say this: If I'm been rude, bitchy, short or cruel to any of you in any fashion, I'm really sorry for my behavior.
This week is the first week in almost 3 months that I've actual felt like myself again. Felt like this life belonged to me, and that I deserved the people in it. I didn't think these days would ever really come, and you've no idea how relieved I feel that they have. It's as if an entire weight has been lifted off my chest, and I know who I have to thank for that for the most part, and I hope he knows it as well. If he doesn't yet, I've the rest of my life to show him.
That's not to say that I shouldn't thank Draco, as well, for at the very least, putting up with me. There are probably a few more people I should thank, and I will, personally, but now, I'd like to close this bit up completely, and let it go. There is so much more in my life at the moment that is so much more important, and I'm more than ready to focus on those good things now.
As of yesterday, I am now Tale Mahers. I am now a married woman, completely and fully taken, and I don't think it's possible for me to be any happier when I say that. The ceremony is done, the title is there ... There is no more boyfriend/girlfriend or fiance ... and while people will say the title doesn't matter, you've no idea how lovely it feels to be this mans wife. Three months after the initial date we had set, we finally did it, and I think it's still sinking in for the both of us that we're finally there, and that we're married. What has sunk in, though, is that it's the best feeling I've ever had, and - although I knew this all along - I love him more than anything.
It was a very, very simple wedding. While we had planned for a bit bigger wedding, plans change, guests were scratched out, and we decided to have it in Hogsmeade, in a place that is special to us both. Lufi, myself and the Ministry official (Thank you, Dumbledore) were the only ones in attendance. It was so ... so, so beautifully done up, thanks to Lufi, and where we were married is where we will stay, together, until our honeymoon is over.
I thought that maybe I should feel bad that after waking up on my first day as a married woman, I fixed a bit of breakfast in bed, had a little romp with my husband (doesn't that sound nice?), then promptly hopped on the computer to write an entry for my school journal. But seeing as the boy is sitting behind me, reading over my shoulder, kissing me and seeming to make my neck the second meal of his day, I suppose I shouldn't feel too bad. I can't feel bad at this point ... It's impossible.
...Really, really, utterly impossible.
If those that I had invited to the wedding are sore that you didn't get to come ... First, ask yourself why. If your answer is a sweet one ... well, thanks. Then, accept my apologies. But really, we would have just kicked you out as soon as it was over, and probably wouldn't have even fed you, either. Feel free to send wedding presents, though. =) I'm sure they'd be appreciated.
Anyway... I'll owl a few of you when I've got some time, and I'll come visit once I'm back in school. Been a while since most of us talked, and I think it's about time we caught up ... Well, in a few weeks, we'll catch up.
....I'm sure to have teeth marks where he's just bitten me, so I think he's starting to become impatient. Apparently, that's my cue to go. Wifely duties to perform, and all. =D You understand.
I have to say, now, that things have improved beyond belief. I have seen that both Lufi and Pax wrote to some degree about what happened, so I don't think there is much need for me to ... Frankly, I still don't want to. That's left for the therapist, or Lufi, or even Pax, if anything else needs to be discussed or talked about, but I do want to say this: If I'm been rude, bitchy, short or cruel to any of you in any fashion, I'm really sorry for my behavior.
This week is the first week in almost 3 months that I've actual felt like myself again. Felt like this life belonged to me, and that I deserved the people in it. I didn't think these days would ever really come, and you've no idea how relieved I feel that they have. It's as if an entire weight has been lifted off my chest, and I know who I have to thank for that for the most part, and I hope he knows it as well. If he doesn't yet, I've the rest of my life to show him.
That's not to say that I shouldn't thank Draco, as well, for at the very least, putting up with me. There are probably a few more people I should thank, and I will, personally, but now, I'd like to close this bit up completely, and let it go. There is so much more in my life at the moment that is so much more important, and I'm more than ready to focus on those good things now.
As of yesterday, I am now Tale Mahers. I am now a married woman, completely and fully taken, and I don't think it's possible for me to be any happier when I say that. The ceremony is done, the title is there ... There is no more boyfriend/girlfriend or fiance ... and while people will say the title doesn't matter, you've no idea how lovely it feels to be this mans wife. Three months after the initial date we had set, we finally did it, and I think it's still sinking in for the both of us that we're finally there, and that we're married. What has sunk in, though, is that it's the best feeling I've ever had, and - although I knew this all along - I love him more than anything.
It was a very, very simple wedding. While we had planned for a bit bigger wedding, plans change, guests were scratched out, and we decided to have it in Hogsmeade, in a place that is special to us both. Lufi, myself and the Ministry official (Thank you, Dumbledore) were the only ones in attendance. It was so ... so, so beautifully done up, thanks to Lufi, and where we were married is where we will stay, together, until our honeymoon is over.
I thought that maybe I should feel bad that after waking up on my first day as a married woman, I fixed a bit of breakfast in bed, had a little romp with my husband (doesn't that sound nice?), then promptly hopped on the computer to write an entry for my school journal. But seeing as the boy is sitting behind me, reading over my shoulder, kissing me and seeming to make my neck the second meal of his day, I suppose I shouldn't feel too bad. I can't feel bad at this point ... It's impossible.
...Really, really, utterly impossible.
If those that I had invited to the wedding are sore that you didn't get to come ... First, ask yourself why. If your answer is a sweet one ... well, thanks. Then, accept my apologies. But really, we would have just kicked you out as soon as it was over, and probably wouldn't have even fed you, either. Feel free to send wedding presents, though. =) I'm sure they'd be appreciated.
Anyway... I'll owl a few of you when I've got some time, and I'll come visit once I'm back in school. Been a while since most of us talked, and I think it's about time we caught up ... Well, in a few weeks, we'll catch up.
....I'm sure to have teeth marks where he's just bitten me, so I think he's starting to become impatient. Apparently, that's my cue to go. Wifely duties to perform, and all. =D You understand.