It's not working
Even though I've doubled the Trazodone dose each successive night, I'm still not getting the CPAP hours I need. I still wake up and pop off the mask at around 6am, though with the Traz, I'm much less aware of doing so
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I'm sorry to hear that you've totally been there. It's not something I'd wish on my worst enemies (because I don't have to: they've got their own mental illnesses to deal with).
I've had Anxiety Depression since puberty, though I didn't know about it. I first went to counselling when I went to BYU, because it was free and anonymous. They didn't detect the biochemical aspect of my problem then, because it was only 1983 and people were just becoming aware of it.
I didn't get a proper diagnosis until a year after my mission, in 1987, but I was diagnosed with severs PMS by a psychologist (who can't prescribe meds), so she sent me to an on-campus MD who prescribed Spironolactone, a diruetic, thinking that water retention was responsible for my moods. (cringes)
Several years later, I finally got a real antidepressant, Imipramine, which is not an SSRI (like Prozac). I suppose it worked a bit, but then a shrink at Cornell prescribed the real stuff -- Paxil. Paxil made me so drowsy that I slept 12-18 hours a day. My mood improved considerably, but I was never awake to enjoy it. During that time, I was supposed to be writing my dissertation. Given that I could read for only 20 minutes at a time (and I was reading 16th-century Spanish mystics), it's a wonder I got those three chapters written.
Finally, I switched to Zoloft, which made me less drowsy while keeping the good effects. After a few years, the Zoloft lost its efficacy, so now I'm on Effexor. It turns out that the Trazodone is also an antidepressant, but I was able to overcome the sedative effects rather quickly. On the other hand, I'm feeling fairly good now that I've got two drugs working on my brain. Maybe I'll ask my shrink if I can switch, given that Traz is way less expensive than Effexor.
I've had therapy from time to time: for me, the most useful has been Cognitive Therapy because it helps me devise strategies for when I take an inevitable mood dive (normal for my condition). For example, I forbid myself from making any Big Decisions 7 days before That Time or when I'm on any kind of crying jag (or on the verge thereof). And if I start feeling anxiety, I know that I need to be distracted rather than battling it head-on. That's where TV comes in. Who knew that for some of us it's theraputic?
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