Yet another setback...
My left ear is clogged -- again. Which means I have to stop using the CPAP until it clears up. That could take a week or more if last time is any indication. I was almost getting decent hours, too, though I was not feeling much better.
The irony is that the CPAP is probably the cause of the inner-ear problem in the first place. The arrival of the monsoons and their attending atmospheric pressure drop caused my sinuses to drain like crazy, and the bacteria from the goo got pushed up into my eustachian tube by the CPAP.
I was doing more research on apnea and I discovered that (1) there seems to be a causal connection between hypothyroidism and apnea and (2) it doesn't necessarily have to do with weight gain. I also found that it's not unusual for people to struggle for months on end, even years, trying to get their apnea under control. Swell.
Pursuant to that, I wondered if I might not need to increase the pressure to 11 cm H2O. (The titration study indicated that 11 might be the optimal pressure; I'm currently at 10.) However, the manufacturers and retailers of CPAPs won't tell you how to set the pressure: that's only for health-care professionals, and they won't do it without a prescription from the MD.
Which is why I love the Internet. It didn't take me too long to find a PDF of that forbidden manual for my very machine. Heh.
I finished re-reading Order of the Phoenix the other day and I've decided that I really like it. I was noting scenes that exemplified the relationship between Ron and the Twins. Man, they're rough on him! And interestingly, Hermione tells Ron that the Twins' negative reaction to his making prefect is motivated by jealousy. Ron doubts that they're jealous, and I have to agree. I don't think the Twins ever came close to coveting the prefect's badge. However, I think they might be irked by the positive attention Ron gets from Molly:
"Oh, Mum's going to be revolting," groaned George, thrusting the prefect badge back at Ron as though it might contaminate him.
....
Mrs. Weasley let out a shriek just like Hermione's.
"I don't believe it! I don't believe it! Oh, Ron, how wonderful! A prefect! That's everyone in the family!"
"What are Fred and I, next-door neighbors?" said George indignantly, as his mother pushed him aside and flung her arms around her youngest son.
No doubt the Twins have been catching hell from Molly for not being more like Percy since their earliest days. For Ron to make prefect must have been too much.
I'm now rereading Goblet of Fire, looking for similar examples of the Twins' hostility toward Ron. So far, nothing as virulent as in OoP, though I do remember Ron's allusions to the past: the acid-pop, turning the teddy-bear into a spider, using the Puffskein for beater practice. I can see why the Twins would take aim at Percy, but why Ron? Because he's smaller than they? And why is Ginny their natural ally? Things that make you go hmmm....
I've also been writing in my Palm at night sometimes, because I can do it in bed.
2004-07-10
Sat
Bad day today. I didn't use the CPAP last night. I was up until 4:30 am.
All day I've felt tired and weak. I've got sinus drainage going on even though the barometer is going up, so I feel on the verge of coming down with something. My hands feel swollen again, a sign of dehydration, so I've been trying to drink more water. I don't seem to be able to drink enough.
And yet the edema in my hands persists, and the sensation that I'm about to faint doesn't go away even a few hours after drinking 4 or 5 eight-ounce glasses of water and eating a can of soup. Come to think of it, even after a substantial meal -- such as when mom & I go out to eat -- I feel just as weak as before.
What's the deal? It might be a side effect of my fluctuating Gabitril levels. It might be malnourishment or dehydration or sleep deprivation or thyroid or iron. Or all of the above. Or none of it. Maybe it's the combination of all those brain meds: Provigil, Ambien, Gabitril, Effexor.
Except that last year I wasn't taking that combination: just the Effexor. Today I felt every bit as tired as I did last year at this time, before I even knew what a CPAP was. Must be the blasted sleep deprivation. Still.
2004-07-11
Sun
I am at church right now, feeling like I'm going to faint. The edema is back. They don't air condition all the rooms in the church; I'm in the mothers' room sitting on a cushy chair, and the warmth feels especially oppresive. I drank at least two full glasses of water before church, and I've visited the drinking fountain several times, though the water pressure is so low that it's hard to get a good drink. Now I wonder if I'm taking too much Synthroid. I am not experiencing any nervous energy -- quite the contrary, I feel like I can hardly move.
2004-07-12
Mon
Sunday was miserable. My hands and feet felt swollen and hot all day. I took Ambien in the afternoon, hoping to get more CPAP sleep in, but I still couldn't sleep.
Today I had enough energy to repot a half-dozen potentillas before they were done in utterly by the heat. It appears that I've lost the pink delphinums to my lethargy. I was able to spray the backyard Ailanthus again and load the dishwasher. Then I went online and inexplicably decided to reformat the Humongous Bigfile, update and consolidate the FAQs, and create a brief summary of the posting rules. It took me several hours, but I plowed through OK.
I also had a splitting sinus headache last night that reappeared this afternoon. It took about 800 mg of ibuprofin to quell it. And I took my Gabitril dose at about 8 pm. I got really loopy about an hour later. In the shower and while writing this, I've had several seizure-like spells, but the content has been different. I think it hasn't been seizures but the loopiness.
2004-07-16
Fri
Just a few minutes ago I shut off my computer; immediately thereafter, I lost the will to live. Again. I had previously beaten back the prior despair/anxiety back by putting it out of my mind -- deciding I could defer worrying about the future until I got my life back.
But now suddenly everything seems so meaningless. We're trying to deal with the too-high list volume on HFfGU (brought on by summer, JKR's web-site canon, the POA movie, and the Lexicon getting JKR's Fan Site Award). I was running stats and making proposals, updating the FAQ and draining Pendings like crazy.
None of it matters, nor do my struggling plants, nor my filthy house, nor my unemloyment, nor the essays rattling around in my head. Lorin got laid off yesterday, so he asks me if I have any leads. I could direct him to Niche, which might cost me *my* place. But I don't want to go back. I don't want to do anything except fall into a coma.
2004-07-18
Sun
The funk continues. Yesterday, I did nothing but sleep and read OoP. This despite the fact that I have been logging fairly good CPAP hours this week. (last night was only 2.1)
Last night, mom and I went to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir 75th broadcast anniversary (they've existed since 1847) in the Conference Center. We were in the far-left section of the balcony, so the sound came through the speakers rather than washing over us like a wave. Charles Osgood was the program's narrator. The first presidency was there.
About halfway through the performance, I noticed that the house lights in our section were randomly going brighter and dimmer. During the organ solo, colored lights danced on the pipes, then all of the house lights went dark, then dim, then dark. The projector for the left-side screen went off. At the end of one choral number, all of the stage and house lights went off, including the lights on the music stands, leaving only the spot on Mr Osgood. He informed us that the lights were being affected by a lightning storm.
Indeed, the monsoons are officially upon us. It was drizzling nicely as we left the hall. Today, it began to rain during the last hour of church and continued for a good hour. But instead of cooling the air, it makes it muggy. So much for the swamp cooler. Again.
Turns out we're moving to a new church building (west end of Volta) while ours undergoes renovation. The block is from 1-4 pm. I can dig that.
And I've been coming up with questions that I would ask JKR in the event I happen to interview her. In the very likely event. :D
• What is "wrong" with your 1st drafts? Do you start at the beginning and write straight through? Write a skeletal trajectory then go back and fill it in? Write key scenes first and transitions later?
• Why was "The Dark Mark" hard to write? Was it hard to stuff in the necessary info without it sticking out at odd angles? Were the characters saying dull things? Was the sequence of events all wonky? Was the language refusing to cooperate?
• Is there a particular grammatical tic that you have to keep editing out?
• What is your opinion of the criticism that you overuse the construction "[character] said, adverbially"?
• What is your least favorite interview question?
• Have you discovered a persistent misreading in fandom that you would like to correct?
• Have the fans discovered things you didn't know were there (excluding flints)?
• Which characters are most uncooperative? How do you overcome their reticence?
• Are you serious about producing revised editions of the novels?
For some reason, while rereading GoF, I've been underlining those infamous adverbs and have been surprised at how common they really are. It's discouraging to me because I'm supposed to be a trained editor, and I never noticed them. At all. Were I not looking for them, I'd still miss them.
Gotta go. Ken Jennings is on his 36th Jeopardy game. Trebek joked that Jeopardy was ruining Ken's summer vacation. (Jennings is home right now, the shows having been taped earlier this year.) Oh, that Trebekian humor.
AND. Marci went in today to have her twins delivered by Caesarian. One of them turned breech at the last minute, so they decided to take them before she could turn again. Marci says that the first thing they'll do to that wicked baby after she's born is to spank her good. She still won't tell us what names they've decided on.
UPDATE 10:36 pm: Me mum just called and said there's been a change of plans. They prepped Marci for the Caesarian, were just about to roll her into the OR, and they decided to check the kids' orientation via ultrasound. The naughty twin had turned face down again, so they decided to induce. She's currently lying there with the epidural, dilating slowly. I can't say I envy her at the moment.
The irony is that the CPAP is probably the cause of the inner-ear problem in the first place. The arrival of the monsoons and their attending atmospheric pressure drop caused my sinuses to drain like crazy, and the bacteria from the goo got pushed up into my eustachian tube by the CPAP.
I was doing more research on apnea and I discovered that (1) there seems to be a causal connection between hypothyroidism and apnea and (2) it doesn't necessarily have to do with weight gain. I also found that it's not unusual for people to struggle for months on end, even years, trying to get their apnea under control. Swell.
Pursuant to that, I wondered if I might not need to increase the pressure to 11 cm H2O. (The titration study indicated that 11 might be the optimal pressure; I'm currently at 10.) However, the manufacturers and retailers of CPAPs won't tell you how to set the pressure: that's only for health-care professionals, and they won't do it without a prescription from the MD.
Which is why I love the Internet. It didn't take me too long to find a PDF of that forbidden manual for my very machine. Heh.
I finished re-reading Order of the Phoenix the other day and I've decided that I really like it. I was noting scenes that exemplified the relationship between Ron and the Twins. Man, they're rough on him! And interestingly, Hermione tells Ron that the Twins' negative reaction to his making prefect is motivated by jealousy. Ron doubts that they're jealous, and I have to agree. I don't think the Twins ever came close to coveting the prefect's badge. However, I think they might be irked by the positive attention Ron gets from Molly:
"Oh, Mum's going to be revolting," groaned George, thrusting the prefect badge back at Ron as though it might contaminate him.
....
Mrs. Weasley let out a shriek just like Hermione's.
"I don't believe it! I don't believe it! Oh, Ron, how wonderful! A prefect! That's everyone in the family!"
"What are Fred and I, next-door neighbors?" said George indignantly, as his mother pushed him aside and flung her arms around her youngest son.
No doubt the Twins have been catching hell from Molly for not being more like Percy since their earliest days. For Ron to make prefect must have been too much.
I'm now rereading Goblet of Fire, looking for similar examples of the Twins' hostility toward Ron. So far, nothing as virulent as in OoP, though I do remember Ron's allusions to the past: the acid-pop, turning the teddy-bear into a spider, using the Puffskein for beater practice. I can see why the Twins would take aim at Percy, but why Ron? Because he's smaller than they? And why is Ginny their natural ally? Things that make you go hmmm....
I've also been writing in my Palm at night sometimes, because I can do it in bed.
2004-07-10
Sat
Bad day today. I didn't use the CPAP last night. I was up until 4:30 am.
All day I've felt tired and weak. I've got sinus drainage going on even though the barometer is going up, so I feel on the verge of coming down with something. My hands feel swollen again, a sign of dehydration, so I've been trying to drink more water. I don't seem to be able to drink enough.
And yet the edema in my hands persists, and the sensation that I'm about to faint doesn't go away even a few hours after drinking 4 or 5 eight-ounce glasses of water and eating a can of soup. Come to think of it, even after a substantial meal -- such as when mom & I go out to eat -- I feel just as weak as before.
What's the deal? It might be a side effect of my fluctuating Gabitril levels. It might be malnourishment or dehydration or sleep deprivation or thyroid or iron. Or all of the above. Or none of it. Maybe it's the combination of all those brain meds: Provigil, Ambien, Gabitril, Effexor.
Except that last year I wasn't taking that combination: just the Effexor. Today I felt every bit as tired as I did last year at this time, before I even knew what a CPAP was. Must be the blasted sleep deprivation. Still.
2004-07-11
Sun
I am at church right now, feeling like I'm going to faint. The edema is back. They don't air condition all the rooms in the church; I'm in the mothers' room sitting on a cushy chair, and the warmth feels especially oppresive. I drank at least two full glasses of water before church, and I've visited the drinking fountain several times, though the water pressure is so low that it's hard to get a good drink. Now I wonder if I'm taking too much Synthroid. I am not experiencing any nervous energy -- quite the contrary, I feel like I can hardly move.
2004-07-12
Mon
Sunday was miserable. My hands and feet felt swollen and hot all day. I took Ambien in the afternoon, hoping to get more CPAP sleep in, but I still couldn't sleep.
Today I had enough energy to repot a half-dozen potentillas before they were done in utterly by the heat. It appears that I've lost the pink delphinums to my lethargy. I was able to spray the backyard Ailanthus again and load the dishwasher. Then I went online and inexplicably decided to reformat the Humongous Bigfile, update and consolidate the FAQs, and create a brief summary of the posting rules. It took me several hours, but I plowed through OK.
I also had a splitting sinus headache last night that reappeared this afternoon. It took about 800 mg of ibuprofin to quell it. And I took my Gabitril dose at about 8 pm. I got really loopy about an hour later. In the shower and while writing this, I've had several seizure-like spells, but the content has been different. I think it hasn't been seizures but the loopiness.
2004-07-16
Fri
Just a few minutes ago I shut off my computer; immediately thereafter, I lost the will to live. Again. I had previously beaten back the prior despair/anxiety back by putting it out of my mind -- deciding I could defer worrying about the future until I got my life back.
But now suddenly everything seems so meaningless. We're trying to deal with the too-high list volume on HFfGU (brought on by summer, JKR's web-site canon, the POA movie, and the Lexicon getting JKR's Fan Site Award). I was running stats and making proposals, updating the FAQ and draining Pendings like crazy.
None of it matters, nor do my struggling plants, nor my filthy house, nor my unemloyment, nor the essays rattling around in my head. Lorin got laid off yesterday, so he asks me if I have any leads. I could direct him to Niche, which might cost me *my* place. But I don't want to go back. I don't want to do anything except fall into a coma.
2004-07-18
Sun
The funk continues. Yesterday, I did nothing but sleep and read OoP. This despite the fact that I have been logging fairly good CPAP hours this week. (last night was only 2.1)
Last night, mom and I went to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir 75th broadcast anniversary (they've existed since 1847) in the Conference Center. We were in the far-left section of the balcony, so the sound came through the speakers rather than washing over us like a wave. Charles Osgood was the program's narrator. The first presidency was there.
About halfway through the performance, I noticed that the house lights in our section were randomly going brighter and dimmer. During the organ solo, colored lights danced on the pipes, then all of the house lights went dark, then dim, then dark. The projector for the left-side screen went off. At the end of one choral number, all of the stage and house lights went off, including the lights on the music stands, leaving only the spot on Mr Osgood. He informed us that the lights were being affected by a lightning storm.
Indeed, the monsoons are officially upon us. It was drizzling nicely as we left the hall. Today, it began to rain during the last hour of church and continued for a good hour. But instead of cooling the air, it makes it muggy. So much for the swamp cooler. Again.
Turns out we're moving to a new church building (west end of Volta) while ours undergoes renovation. The block is from 1-4 pm. I can dig that.
And I've been coming up with questions that I would ask JKR in the event I happen to interview her. In the very likely event. :D
• What is "wrong" with your 1st drafts? Do you start at the beginning and write straight through? Write a skeletal trajectory then go back and fill it in? Write key scenes first and transitions later?
• Why was "The Dark Mark" hard to write? Was it hard to stuff in the necessary info without it sticking out at odd angles? Were the characters saying dull things? Was the sequence of events all wonky? Was the language refusing to cooperate?
• Is there a particular grammatical tic that you have to keep editing out?
• What is your opinion of the criticism that you overuse the construction "[character] said, adverbially"?
• What is your least favorite interview question?
• Have you discovered a persistent misreading in fandom that you would like to correct?
• Have the fans discovered things you didn't know were there (excluding flints)?
• Which characters are most uncooperative? How do you overcome their reticence?
• Are you serious about producing revised editions of the novels?
For some reason, while rereading GoF, I've been underlining those infamous adverbs and have been surprised at how common they really are. It's discouraging to me because I'm supposed to be a trained editor, and I never noticed them. At all. Were I not looking for them, I'd still miss them.
Gotta go. Ken Jennings is on his 36th Jeopardy game. Trebek joked that Jeopardy was ruining Ken's summer vacation. (Jennings is home right now, the shows having been taped earlier this year.) Oh, that Trebekian humor.
AND. Marci went in today to have her twins delivered by Caesarian. One of them turned breech at the last minute, so they decided to take them before she could turn again. Marci says that the first thing they'll do to that wicked baby after she's born is to spank her good. She still won't tell us what names they've decided on.
UPDATE 10:36 pm: Me mum just called and said there's been a change of plans. They prepped Marci for the Caesarian, were just about to roll her into the OR, and they decided to check the kids' orientation via ultrasound. The naughty twin had turned face down again, so they decided to induce. She's currently lying there with the epidural, dilating slowly. I can't say I envy her at the moment.