cold turkey
Mohinder stared at his hands, willing them to stop shaking. The lab was darkened but it had made no difference. His head still pounded and he could feel the thin film of sweat on his forehead. He slammed his hand on the bench in frustration. He himself had put the work into synthesizing an antidote to his condition, and now it was being kept from him as a form of control. The serum eradicated the symptoms of his abilities, but it was powerful. After seeing the dramatic effects, Arthur had prevented him from accessing unlimited vials of the serum, in case Mohinder was tempted to test the effects of high dosage. He was allowed into the refrigeration unit once a day, under supervision, to take his daily dose.
This was the problem. Mohinder had taken the first two doses before Arthur discovered that the serum was working properly. Then he had added his provisos, and Mohinder refused to accept them. 24 hours later he could barely pick up a pen as his body raged and begged for the potent drugs which had replaced the ability in his system. He knew what he had to do - Arthur had decreed that two security codes would have to be entered before Mohinder could open the unit. One could be his own, but the other had to come from his son.
“You need supervision doctor, and I want to ensure that you won’t be able to charm someone into getting you those drugs.” Arthur had explained, like a father talking to an irresponsible teenager. “Gabriel knows the situation, he’ll be fair. You just have to ask him and he’ll go with you. Now if you’ll excuse me I have to leave town for a few days so please direct any questions to Gabriel.”
“But Mr Petrelli…” Mohinder had objected too late, and now as he came close to tears of frustration he wondered if there was any way he could get out of this with his dignity. He went to the basin and splashed his face, running his fingers through his unruly curls and trying to disguise the pain he was in. After a few gulps of water and some deep breathing he felt suitably calmed and walked purposefully out of the lab and down the hall to Gabriel’s newly acquired office.
The problem with an active mind was that it got bored easily, and needed stimulation. Gabriel had been temporarily taken out of the field and given some busy work. Mohinder knew how he was when he was bored - playful, sarcastic and incredibly irritating. He planned to feign nonchalance, but felt less hopeful as he saw Gabriel through the glass door panel of the office, throwing ice balls into the air and then shooting them with telekinesis, before dissipating the fragments with a burst of radiation. The repeated crunch, pop and fizz of the actions cut through Mohinder’s concentration like a razor and by the time he opened the door his air of disregard was becoming increasingly hard to muster.
“Mohinder!” Gabriel exclaimed a mite too cheerfully, “I’ve been expecting you! Come in!” He straightened up in his chair and offered a hand to the empty one in front of the desk.
“Oh, I can’t stay…but thankyou. I was wondering if you had a moment to come to the unit and let me collect a serum.” Mohinder was careful to use the indefinite article. Not ‘my serum’. Keep their personal relationship out of it.
“Oh absolutely doctor, would you like to go now?” Gabriel started to rise, much to Mohinder’s surprise. Surely it wasn’t going to be this easy?
“Erm, yes! Now’s as good a time as any…” Mohinder watched suspiciously as Gabriel came to stand in front of the desk and leaned back on it.
“Of course….” Gabriel began, looking at his fingernails, “there is the small matter of my end of the bargain.”
At the relief of knowing this was going to be yet another mindfuck, Mohinder almost smiled. Almost. He took a breath to respond but Gabriel simply pointed upwards. Mohinder tentatively looked, and was too fatigued by what he saw to stop his face from falling. “What in the hell is that?”
“I think you know exactly what it is doctor, it’s the pagan tradition of hanging mistletoe. Today is December first and I whilst I was trying to think of a way that I might benefit from your encroaching on my time, I thought - I don’t get kissed enough.” He smiled in a way that Mohinder couldn’t quite put his finger on. Somewhere between humour and sadism.
“You know Gabriel I always accepted you were mentally unstable, but I never once thought you were stupid. Until today that is. As I’m sure you’ll appreciate, I would rather die.” Mohinder turned and walked out of the office, slamming the door behind him. He knew what this was about - it was power and humiliation. Make the proud doctor pay for his medicine with an expression of affection when he felt the exact opposite. Well he wasn’t going to acquiesce to this. He would tell Arthur exactly what was going on.
“What do you mean you can’t contact him? This is of the utmost importance.” Mohinder clenched his fist into his dripping curls as the sweat continued to run off him. It was four hours since he had stormed out of Gabriel’s office, and the adrenaline rush which had momentarily soothed his withdrawal had now given way to muscle cramps and the return of that splitting headache. He dropped the phone and ran to the bathroom, heaving up nothing. Allowing himself a pitying sob he pulled himself up against the wall. What was one little kiss? Really? One little kiss, and he would be free from this pain.
“I had a feeling you’d come back.” Gabriel once again rose from behind his desk and strolled over to Mohinder, who was trying to keep his head held up despite the mixture of shame and crippling pain.
“What you’re doing is despicable even for you. I need that serum, look at what it does to me. How can you stand to see someone suffer when you know you can help them?”
“What, you don’t know? You don’t remember when those men, and your dear, beloved Maya were trapped in cocoons of your making?”
Mohinder hung his head. “That was different. I was…”
“Controlled by hunger, and want. Like you are now. Poetic, isn’t it?”
“Just….I need that serum now.” Mohinder’s fists clenched as the dependency bit at his brain.
“Tell you what Mohinder, to prove I’m not evil, as you put it, I’ll make you a deal. The tradition is that you take off a berry for every kiss, you keep this up until the berries are gone and I’ll get you your serum anytime you want. You have my word. Sound fair?”
“Fine.” Snapped Mohinder. It was a better deal than he’d expected to get, but he didn’t want Gabriel to know that.
“Very well then, whenever you’re ready.” Gabriel stepped towards him but flinched when Mohinder took his hand and kissed it quickly.
“You never said where I was supposed to kiss you.”
Gabriel couldn’t help but be a little impressed with Mohinder’s impudence. It was refreshing, considering where this was going to end. He shrugged. “You win. Let’s get you that serum.”
They walked in silence to the refrigeration unit, and as promised Gabriel added his security code and thumb print after Mohinder’s. The doctor grabbed the vial of serum greedily and ran past Gabriel to the lab to administer it. Moments later he felt like he could take on the world. The pain, the shaking, the sweats were all gone, leaving the only negative feeling on Mohinder’s lips as he remembered their deal.
The next day Mohinder tried to stave off the symptoms for as long as possible. He tried to keep his mind occupied, working steadily whilst breathing deeply and drinking lots of water. By lunch time though the cramps were back in his stomach and he was desperately hungry but gagged at the thought of eating. Whilst looking at cultures under the microscope he dropped a slide because the tremors had returned to his hand. At five o’clock panic set in as he wondered what time Gabriel left for the day and he sprinted down the hallway, arriving breathless and hot at the office door.
“Come in Mohinder, you look awful.” Gabriel turned away and stood stony faced underneath the ball of mistletoe. “Why did you leave it so long?”
Mohinder wanted to cry. He felt powerless, humiliated, weak. At first he had been slightly confused over the choice of payback. Now, as he stood looking into the face of his father’s killer, preparing to show him such a mark of affection, he knew. Mohinder had called him a monster, and then become one himself. He had sacrificed the moral high ground for the greedy pursuit of power, and now he was suffering for it. Gabriel was showing him that their relationship had changed.
“Of course, today there’ll be no hand kissing. But anywhere else is fine.” Gabriel narrowed his eyes at Mohinder, willing him to break.
Trying to steady his breathing, Mohinder leaned forward and pecked his cheek.
“There, now that wasn’t so hard was it? Let’s go.”
They parted on the way back from the lab and Mohinder watched as Gabriel passed out of the building. He waited a moment before going back to Gabriel’s office. He had stuffed a piece of cardboard in the door jam as he pulled it behind him, and sure enough, it had kept the electronic lock from working. He shut the door quietly behind him and jumped onto a chair, reaching up to the mistletoe and pulling off as many berries as he could without making it seem obvious. He stuffed the berries in his pockets and replaced the chair. As he turned to leave his heart leapt as he came face to face with Gabriel.
“Oh Mohinder. What are we going to do with you?” He telekinetically slammed Mohinder against the wall and held him there. “Have you never heard the saying ‘cheaters never prosper’?”
Mohinder struggled against nothing as a solitary tear ran down his cheek. Gabriel closed in on him and brushed it away with his finger. “Shhh. There there. You have a very Christmassy decision to make Mohinder. Kisses under the mistletoe - or cold turkey! I’m sure I’ll see you tomorrow.” He let his hand drop and Mohinder sank to the floor breathlessly as Gabriel stalked out of the office.
The next day Mohinder decided to get it over and done with early. He knew if he waited until he was desperate he’d be more likely to give in and do whatever Gabriel wanted. He strolled along the corridor at 11 am, still satisfied by the previous day’s dose. Entering Gabriel’s office he was met with an evil grin.
“Mohinder, good to see you nice and early today. Now, we need to talk about last night’s little…indiscretion.” He motioned for Mohinder to sit, standing behind the chair with his hands on Mohinder’s shoulders when he complied. “I can’t say I wasn’t disappointed but neither was I surprised. You’re an intelligent man, Mohinder. A defiant man.” He leaned down to whisper in his ear. “But neither of those facts can change the game.”
Gabriel stood in front of Mohinder, looming over him. “Stand up please.” Mohinder stood, trying to match the other man for height and failing. “It really hurt me that would be so desperate to avoid kissing me. I think you should find out what a great kisser I can be, then maybe you’ll change your mind. Close your eyes.”
Mohinder closed his eyes, trying to escape in his mind to a place where this wasn’t happening. He tried to block his senses but found himself shivering into Gabriel’s touch as he gently cupped his jaw, kissing his closed mouth repeatedly until instinct took over and Mohinder parted his lips, allowing Gabriel’s tongue to dart in. Mohinder kissed back, hoping that his compliance with the assault would speed it along. He didn’t know how long had passed when Gabriel finally pulled away and looked him steadily in the eye. “Alright Mohinder, time for your medicine.”
Four days later Mohinder had settled into the routine. He found that visiting Gabriel at 11am suited his constitution better and although he couldn’t enjoy the kissing at least it was gentle and Gabriel never wanted more. He could think of worse ways to get his medication. So they continued, and on the sixteenth day, the last berry was plucked from the mistletoe ball.
Gabriel held it between his fingers before tossing it away. “Well Mohinder, one last kiss and you’ll be keeping your end of the bargain. Let’s make it a good one.” He pulled Mohinder’s tie, dragging him forward, and their lips met. The last three times, Mohinder had actually closed his eyes without being asked, and he was starting to match Gabriel’s nuances and rhythms, until they were truly kissing each other. When Gabriel’s lips left his he felt the tiniest twinge of disappointment, but pushed it to the back of his mind, rationalising that it was form of Stockholm Syndrome. They went together to the refrigeration unit and as they parted there was not even a glance between them.
Mohinder found his mind wandering whilst he flicked through paperwork in the lab. Gabriel had kept his word, and just let him go. He had said nothing to him after their last kiss, and when Mohinder had drifted past his office he noticed the mistletoe ball gone and Gabriel working diligently. He had wanted to say something to him but didn’t know what and ended up back at the lab thinking on him for the rest of the day.
It was two more days before the medicine stopped working.
Mohinder breathed so deeply and relentlessly that he started to hyperventilate. The pains were back, the stomach cramps, the sweats. Only this time, they were much, much worse. He was taking the vials as normal but they were having little effect anymore. He saved a sample of the liquid and tested it. When it showed as the same exact serum he had taken from the start he began to panic. There was nothing else he could do, no other cure. Back in the bathroom, dry heaving and desperate he tried to calm himself. His body was aching for something, and he didn’t know what. It was as if…
Doubled up in pain, with his head pounding, Mohinder had a moment of clarity. He dragged himself up and staggered down the corridor, blinded by the tears in his eyes. He reached Gabriel’s door and fell against it, using all his strength just to push down on the handle and lurch inside. Gabriel looked at him and started to smile as Mohinder careered towards him. He stood and felt the full force of Mohinder’s body hit him as the doctor grabbed his head and kissed him relentlessly, forcing his tongue into Gabriel’s mouth and gasping as he felt himself be kissed back. Mohinder attacked his mouth hungrily, amid obscene moans and the clashing of tongues and teeth. Eventually he broke the kiss, panting loudly into Gabriel’s ear and breathing in his scent heavily.
Gabriel held Mohinder by the shoulders and pushed him back. A sly smile painted itself onto his face as he saw Mohinder’s shock. “What did you do? Did you do something to the serum?”
Gabriel laughed. “Oh Mohinder, you’re so naïve. I didn’t need to do anything to the serum. It’s a simple matter of behavioural conditioning.”
Mohinder shook his head, not comprehending. “You couldn’t possibly…”
“Well let me ask you this, how do you feel?”
Mohinder averted his eyes, trying to focus. His stomach cramps were gone, as was the headache. He put his fingertips to his forehead, which was dry. In fact, he felt better than he had in a long time. He looked at the satisfied smile creeping across Gabriel’s face. “You see Mohinder, it’s not your body that’s the problem, it’s your brain. The serum tells your body that you’ve taken it, but your brain misses something. It misses the touch of my lips, my scent, the sound of my voice. Your brain is still addicted, only now, it’s addicted to me.”
“You’re sick. You’re…” Mohinder struggled to find the words. “Why? Why are you doing this to me?”
Gabriel’s face hardened. “Because you deserve it! Strutting around here thinking you can just inject yourself and be special. Wanting the ability without the side effects. We all have side effects Mohinder, they might not be as visible as yours but they still hurt and we still live with it. Now you decide you want the ability gone, well we can’t have that either so why should you? Why should you have the choice?”
Mohinder sat heavily. He was right. He was absolutely right. “So what now? You’re going to punish me for the rest of my life? Make me depend on you? How will that help either of us?”
Gabriel put a commanding hand on his shoulder. “Don’t you see? Right now you need the kisses, the touch. But that won’t be enough, not for long. You’ll start to want more, and the pain will come back until you get it. I own you Mohinder. That’s what will help both of us. We need each other.”
Mohinder looked up at him. This was his sentence. At least until he could figure out another way. Standing, Mohinder allowed Gabriel to hold him, and rested his head on his shoulder. “Alright. But know that I’ll be fighting you every second. I’ll find a way to get you out of my system.”
Gabriel smiled knowingly, stroking Mohinder’s back. “I know you’ll fight it. I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
Banner images of Mohinder and Sylar by
eonism and random_alley