[picspam] Ron & Tammy, part two
Remember good old LJ picspams?! (: Parks and Rec, just for funsies and eye candy~
"My ex-wife Tammy likes to check in every so often and make sure
I'm doing okay. And if I am, she tries to fuck everything up."
Ben: Should we throw in some salads, for a healthy option?
Tom: Wow, don't be such a Jerry, Ben.
Leslie: Yeah, these guys are cops, not ballerinas.
Ben: Okay... how about some calzones?
Leslie: Calzones are like pizzas, but harder to eat. They're dumb, and so was that idea.
Ben: ...seriously?
Tom: This is embarrassing for you.
Chris: I'd like you to get me some more post-its. I'd like them in multiple colors.
I'd like green, I'd like yellow; do not buy orange. I do not want orange. I have plenty of orange.
April: Got it. You want 5 million orange post-its.
"Look, I'm gonna tell you what I tell all my girlfriends when they get dumped. Men are dogs."
"Thank you, Leslie. That does not apply to this situation at all, but thank you. I appreciate it."
"I know Tammy seems scary, but really she's just a manipulative, psychotic, library-book-pedalling, sex-crazed she-demon."
"Ron's got one just like it on his penis."
"Oh wow, look at that. You shaved off part of your mustache. That's lovely."
"I didn't shave it off. It rubbed off. From friction."
"Hello Ron. It's Ron. If you're watching this, it means that once again you have danced with the devil. Right now you're probably thinking, 'Tammy's changed, we'll be happy together,' but you're only thinking that because she's a monstrous parasite who entered through your privates and lodged herself in your brain. So, you have two choices. One, get rid of Tammy. Or two, lobotomy and castration. Choose wisely."
"We need the Pawnee police force to volunteer as security during the upcoming Harvest Festival. Now, the city won't let us throw the festival unless--"
"Say no more. Just send me a schedule of how many officers you need and when."
"Really? Just like that?"
"Leslie Knope gets as many favors as she needs."
"Can I ask why?"
"Because she's the kind of a person who uses favors to help other people. And also my buddy Dave was the crankiest bastard in the department until he started dating Leslie."
"Huh, so she... are they still dating, or?"
"No. He moved to San Diego a year ago."
"Was it serious thing or..."
"What do you care, you a pervert?"
"Nope. Nope, uh, I'm all good. Everything's fine. This is fine..."
--
I kind of wanted to avoid including any of my own commentary, but Pawnee!! Leslie's baby! :) Leslie is always portrayed as being relentlessly optimistic and hopeful about all her endeavors, and she's often confronted by other characters who either doubt or oppose her (Joan Callamezzo, Shauna Malwae-Tweep, Marcia Langman, etc.). I love that we get to see the Pawnee citizens who actually recognize, appreciate, and believe in Leslie. We all know she's great, we know her friends think she's great... Her biggest love is Pawnee, right, so it's about time to recognize that Pawnee loves her back ♥. Haha I am a cheeseball. Continuing on...
"You almost had me. Again. But seeing you pick on this pathetic,
defenseless little man reminded me of what kind of monster you are."
"Hey, are you hungry? I haven't eaten."
"Yeah, there's a really great calzone place over in Idiotville."
"Oh really?"
"Down on Terrible Idea Avenue."
"That's weird, cause I thought it was on Beating A Dead Horse Boulevard."
"Calzones are pointless. They're just pizza that's harder to eat. No one likes them. Good day, sir."
"Leslie, I, uh...you know..."
"I'm just kidding! Let's go!"
"Oh heh heh, okay. That was funny..."
--
Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you: Benjamin Wyatt, human disaster extraordinaire. Also answers to: Calzone Boy, Mean Ben, Turd Boy, Ice Clown.
fin.
--
caps from fishsticktheatre
comments & squeeing are ♥