[Fanfiction] Inevitable - Part 59, 60 / 82
Series: Inevitable
Authors: riverofnara and takegamiteijiro
Rating: R overall
Genre: AU, angst
Warnings: Revealed upon request [PM me if you want warnings]
Word Count Total: 28324
Fandom: J-Rock
Characters/Pairing: Gackt x Hyde, You, Megumi, Tetsu, Sakura
Author Notes: This story is going to be revealed, for at least the beginning, four to six parts per day. When I reach chapter divisions, I will post them as whole chapters. This is mostly because this was how the story was written and I find it to be more interesting that way.
Gackt crashes again within the next five hours. It almost happens a second time but the nurse catches it before it spirals out of control. The doctor (Dr. Tanaka, Hyde learns) is absolutely furious. He doesn't voice this but Hyde feels it rolling off in ways and the way Dr. Tanaka's hands shake as he straightens his coat.
"He's not going to be lucky the next time. Let us treat him or end it, because this is torture," he tells him, voice taut. Hyde doesn't have any words to say - how can he respond to that? But it does beg the question - what if he really is doing the wrong thing? You had sounded like the only way Gackt would get better is if Hyde was there, but Hyde hasn't believed in miracles for a long time and he hardly thinks his presence is a miracle if he's the reason Gackt's here in the first place. If he is Gackt's last hope... Gackt really is as good as dead.
Hyde stares at Gackt, completely numb. The last hot, sharp spike of pain was after the doctor left. Shutting himself off doesn't help anything but fuck, it feels a lot better than acknowledging that the doctor is right. All the blood transfusions, the treatment...none of it matters if Gackt keeps crashing. It's been a few days and barely any sign of improvement. Hyde wants to believe that some days, it takes longer than that but it's obnoxiously obvious that that's not the case. Gackt should be getting better. Machines show he isn't. There's only one thing that's left.
A burning lump forms in his throat but when he swallows it down, his eyes blur and he squeezes his eyes shut and tries to focus on that numb feeling again. That's what will save him.
It's just not going to save Gackt.
Hyde sputters and his body just folds, lifeless as his bond to numbness is severed. Physical evidence of his heartbreak and his guilt are mere seconds away, no matter how hard he tries to fight it off. It's just so hard, it's so fucking hard...
Lost in every chaotic emotion tearing him apart, it's a wonder he hears the gentle rustling of fabric.
The soft, almost wheezing breaths that follow it startle him, though, and instantly his head whips to the side, staring as cracked, dry lips part for air, and eyelids flutter open to reveal glazed, half-aware eyes. It's the most beautiful thing Hyde's seen in his life, just in that one moment. It doesn’t matter that Gackt isn't totally aware of what's going on, just that he's awake and that he has a chance, that he's alive -
His thoughts are cut short as Gackt's head lolls to the side, and dark eyes are fixed on him in a second, their gaze hazy but still piercing. Hyde can't move, can't breathe, can't speak... All he knows is that he's backed himself into a corner and that even though he's staying by his own free will, he almost feels like a prisoner. He doesn't know what to do - should he flee, or stay? Comfort, or abandon?
"Haido..." A soft rasp of a voice hits his ears in the middle of his indecision and Hyde's body simply moves; it isn't something he is conscious of doing but he does it anyway. His feet take him the few steps forward that he needs to take, and then he's standing less than a foot away from Gackt, both relieved and terrified that the man in front of him will just push him away, no matter how much he deserves it. God, he deserves it so much but he wants there to be hope, especially now that he's so close to losing his friend and perhaps, still his lover. It hurts like a bullet to the heart might, and he's about to wince at the unintentional reminder of what had sparked this all when Gackt manages to speak again. "You came..."
The sheer emotion he can see Gackt trying to show is overwhelming in and of itself. Despite his actions, despite the fact that it might cost the younger man his life, he sees no trace of hatred, or anger - all he sees is gratefulness. It's not acceptance, necessarily, but it is something and he clings onto it with all he has, gently reaching for one of Gackt's cold hands, taking it between his two palms and watching in wonder and awe as the man's fingers lightly twitch against his hand, trying to mimic the way things used to be.
It hurts. It hurts so much...
Hyde wants to cry as Gackt looks up at him, trying to speak again. He can't stand the way Gackt tries to move his hands but fails, and how he can see Gackt's face flushing with the effort of simply being awake. His eyes are overbright, his body beginning to shine with a light sheen of sweat from the simple exertion of being, and Hyde knows what's coming. He can smell it in the air, the way the scent of death hangs there, fresh and only just circulating as the monitor beside them begins to pick up the first hints of irregularities once more.
"No," he whispers, watching the confusion in the other man's eyes as Hyde’s expression turns pained. Gackt doesn't know what's going on, but he knows what Hyde is, knows that Hyde knows something he doesn’t, and Hyde knows that when the monitor starts wailing, screaming out warnings, he'll realise what's going on. He'll be aware when his heart begins to fail.
Hyde's terrified that now that he's gotten the first glimpse of actual hope, he's going to lose it entirely.
Authors: riverofnara and takegamiteijiro
Rating: R overall
Genre: AU, angst
Warnings: Revealed upon request [PM me if you want warnings]
Word Count Total: 28324
Fandom: J-Rock
Characters/Pairing: Gackt x Hyde, You, Megumi, Tetsu, Sakura
Author Notes: This story is going to be revealed, for at least the beginning, four to six parts per day. When I reach chapter divisions, I will post them as whole chapters. This is mostly because this was how the story was written and I find it to be more interesting that way.
Gackt crashes again within the next five hours. It almost happens a second time but the nurse catches it before it spirals out of control. The doctor (Dr. Tanaka, Hyde learns) is absolutely furious. He doesn't voice this but Hyde feels it rolling off in ways and the way Dr. Tanaka's hands shake as he straightens his coat.
"He's not going to be lucky the next time. Let us treat him or end it, because this is torture," he tells him, voice taut. Hyde doesn't have any words to say - how can he respond to that? But it does beg the question - what if he really is doing the wrong thing? You had sounded like the only way Gackt would get better is if Hyde was there, but Hyde hasn't believed in miracles for a long time and he hardly thinks his presence is a miracle if he's the reason Gackt's here in the first place. If he is Gackt's last hope... Gackt really is as good as dead.
Hyde stares at Gackt, completely numb. The last hot, sharp spike of pain was after the doctor left. Shutting himself off doesn't help anything but fuck, it feels a lot better than acknowledging that the doctor is right. All the blood transfusions, the treatment...none of it matters if Gackt keeps crashing. It's been a few days and barely any sign of improvement. Hyde wants to believe that some days, it takes longer than that but it's obnoxiously obvious that that's not the case. Gackt should be getting better. Machines show he isn't. There's only one thing that's left.
A burning lump forms in his throat but when he swallows it down, his eyes blur and he squeezes his eyes shut and tries to focus on that numb feeling again. That's what will save him.
It's just not going to save Gackt.
Hyde sputters and his body just folds, lifeless as his bond to numbness is severed. Physical evidence of his heartbreak and his guilt are mere seconds away, no matter how hard he tries to fight it off. It's just so hard, it's so fucking hard...
Lost in every chaotic emotion tearing him apart, it's a wonder he hears the gentle rustling of fabric.
The soft, almost wheezing breaths that follow it startle him, though, and instantly his head whips to the side, staring as cracked, dry lips part for air, and eyelids flutter open to reveal glazed, half-aware eyes. It's the most beautiful thing Hyde's seen in his life, just in that one moment. It doesn’t matter that Gackt isn't totally aware of what's going on, just that he's awake and that he has a chance, that he's alive -
His thoughts are cut short as Gackt's head lolls to the side, and dark eyes are fixed on him in a second, their gaze hazy but still piercing. Hyde can't move, can't breathe, can't speak... All he knows is that he's backed himself into a corner and that even though he's staying by his own free will, he almost feels like a prisoner. He doesn't know what to do - should he flee, or stay? Comfort, or abandon?
"Haido..." A soft rasp of a voice hits his ears in the middle of his indecision and Hyde's body simply moves; it isn't something he is conscious of doing but he does it anyway. His feet take him the few steps forward that he needs to take, and then he's standing less than a foot away from Gackt, both relieved and terrified that the man in front of him will just push him away, no matter how much he deserves it. God, he deserves it so much but he wants there to be hope, especially now that he's so close to losing his friend and perhaps, still his lover. It hurts like a bullet to the heart might, and he's about to wince at the unintentional reminder of what had sparked this all when Gackt manages to speak again. "You came..."
The sheer emotion he can see Gackt trying to show is overwhelming in and of itself. Despite his actions, despite the fact that it might cost the younger man his life, he sees no trace of hatred, or anger - all he sees is gratefulness. It's not acceptance, necessarily, but it is something and he clings onto it with all he has, gently reaching for one of Gackt's cold hands, taking it between his two palms and watching in wonder and awe as the man's fingers lightly twitch against his hand, trying to mimic the way things used to be.
It hurts. It hurts so much...
Hyde wants to cry as Gackt looks up at him, trying to speak again. He can't stand the way Gackt tries to move his hands but fails, and how he can see Gackt's face flushing with the effort of simply being awake. His eyes are overbright, his body beginning to shine with a light sheen of sweat from the simple exertion of being, and Hyde knows what's coming. He can smell it in the air, the way the scent of death hangs there, fresh and only just circulating as the monitor beside them begins to pick up the first hints of irregularities once more.
"No," he whispers, watching the confusion in the other man's eyes as Hyde’s expression turns pained. Gackt doesn't know what's going on, but he knows what Hyde is, knows that Hyde knows something he doesn’t, and Hyde knows that when the monitor starts wailing, screaming out warnings, he'll realise what's going on. He'll be aware when his heart begins to fail.
Hyde's terrified that now that he's gotten the first glimpse of actual hope, he's going to lose it entirely.