[Fanfiction] Inevitable - Part 36, 37, 38, 39 / 82
Series: Inevitable
Authors: riverofnara and takegamiteijiro
Rating: R overall
Genre: AU, angst
Warnings: Revealed upon request [PM me if you want warnings]
Word Count Total: 28319
Fandom: J-Rock
Characters/Pairing: Gackt x Hyde, You, Megumi, Tetsu, Sakura
Author Notes: This story is going to be revealed, for at least the beginning, four to six parts per day. When I reach chapter divisions, I will post them as whole chapters. This is mostly because this was how the story was written and I find it to be more interesting that way.
His memories from that flood in his mind in one great wave, replacing the cloud in his mind with memories of fangs, blood, and thrashing bodies and the bottle slips from his fingers, hurtling to the floor. Hyde can't tell if this one broke either but that's so insignificant compared to what he's also aware of - fresh blood, pumping seductively in the other room.
Sakura. He steps back, stumbling over the two bottles on the floor but it doesn't bother him because he's just trying to get away, from Sakura, from bad memories, the entire world. He senses Sakura move about in the living room, completely unaware. The monster within him is lying idly by but paying attention to a possible prey, almost like a cat lazily watching a bird in its cage. Hyde's shaking by now, but the alcohol has already taken its effect, making him sink deeper and deeper into some weird void but all he can think is, I have to get out of here. He's bolting towards the exit, tripping over the bottles again but he doesn't care, he can't get to that door fast enough. He slams into it in his haste but his trembling fingers are scrambling at the knob and then something warm gets close, too close, too close -
"Whoa, whoa, slow down," Fingers close around his hand and heat from Sakura's body is spreading up his back and his monster perks up, clearly interested now. Hyde tries to yank his grip from Sakura but he already has Hyde's other wrist in an iron grip and he's tugging him away with gentle words that are trying to calm him but alarm bells are ringing in Hyde's head and whatever he consumed turns it into a siren call, screaming at him to get away. Desperately, he tries to use his strength to escape but the alcohol combined with his strength just sends him and Sakura spinning, spinning, until Hyde tumbles to the floor and Sakura catches himself before he falls on top of him.
"Fucking hell, what's the matter with you?!" Sakura hisses, three inches from his ear. Hyde's trapped, caught in a strange mix of the vampire's grip and inebriation. So he just curls up in a ball, head tucked in deep into his arms to hide from his friend and lets his fangs lightly nudge his skin.
Even with his obvious lack of control, Hyde is able to hold himself away from the monster, keeping himself stable - sane - even as close as he is to Sakura, even though he can hear the warm, living blood rushing through veins that his beast wants so badly to bite down into. He shivers, and god, it's like a nightmare trying to replay itself as he lays there, unwilling and mostly unable to move. Sakura hasn't moved either though, and Hyde can feel the drummer's body heat seeping into his skin as they remain there, locked in a stalemate reminiscent of the days they were together.
It's not entirely unpleasant, but Hyde's beast is still listening attentively to the proof of Sakura's mortality, and he presses his fangs firmly into one of the arms he has across his face, nearly tearing the skin. He doesn't dare to move his arms, either - Hyde remembers all to clearly the mistake he made only days ago, and the fact that he remembers so clearly even in this state is a testament to his determination to not let it happen again. He can't stand the thought of hurting someone else, but then Sakura shifts above him, moving to crouch at his side and give him a little more of the room he needs right now.
"You should sleep, if you're feeling that bad," Sakura tells him, and Hyde moves his fingers to uncover one eye as the drummer gestures at the guest room to the side. "You can't drive like that," he adds, shrugging when Hyde continues to just stare because he's never seen his friend like this and a corner of his mind realises that he must've just scared the he'll out of the drummer with whatever just happened because the Sakura he knows would let him go with an easy goodbye. Even so, when he offers Hyde a hand up, he is reluctant to take it; intoxicated or not, when his darker half is interested in something, it usually isn't good for the object of interest.
"Just give me a moment," he mutters, his words all muffled and getting lost into his arm. He still doesn't dare to budge until Sakura lowers his hand, his concern evident in the way he still hovers nearby. His ‘cool guy’ demeanour has melted away into something different now, all hesitant, cautious, and worried. No matter what Hyde does, it seems like he can't stop hurting everyone else and the guilt won't stop eating him apart. He squeezes his eyes tightly and inhales, shoving away that disappointed beast back into its dark cage. Sakura's eyes are still boring into his, waiting on him so Hyde rolls onto his side and pushes up, keeping his back turned to Sakura.
He's still on edge though, his body shaking not from the alcohol but from the terror of being discovered again. Behind him, Sakura places a hand on his back to steady him but Hyde moves away almost immediately, frightened of the prospect of feeling warmth and awakening his senses again. He doesn't speak because his fangs are still pressed against his lip and gingerly, he steps away from Sakura to the guest room, not once feeling Sakura's gaze leave him. It's only when the door shuts and he locks it that Hyde feels the burden lift from his shoulders but he only seems to be wading through a mess of emotions that send him almost spiralling into a panic attack as he realizes just how close he came. Now, his body can't seem to stop shaking and he's stuffing his fist into his mouth to hold back noise gasps as he collapses on the bed.
Behind him, he can hear Sakura move, the clink of glass telling him that he's picking up after the mess Hyde caused. He lets out a quiet sob and buries his head into the pillow, curling up into the smallest ball possible. Maybe then, he can hide from this nightmare he's thrown himself into.
It's not long before his glazed mind supplies unerringly accurate details of three nights ago, though, and slowly, they morph and twist and change into something entirely new, a product of his misery and overactive imagination. He can barely see straight but in his mind's eye, he's watching over and over again as Gackt struggles beneath him, and it doesn't take much of a stretch to imagine what it would be like if he hadn't stopped himself, if he had pushed his fangs that tiny bit deeper and pierced the vein. In his mind, Gackt is screaming, his voice raw as blood pulses out from his jugular, gush after gush of sweet crimson as it overflows, so horrifying and yet, at the same time, so beautiful.
He wants to die, somehow, but he hasn't got that choice as the perfect image of Gackt imprinted on his mind slowly dies, his eyes rolling back as his hands go limp. His voice dies suddenly in his throat, cutting off as though someone has flipped the 'off' switch for him, and Hyde can feel the tears again, dripping down his face.
A short series of shuddering gasps hits him as he human instinct to breathe suddenly insinuates itself, and Hyde's fingers curl in the blankets of the bed as though the plush comforter is someone to blame. But he has no scapegoat and, as the memory of Gackt's terrified expression fills his mind, he turns his hands inward and rakes his nails along his arms, revelling in the sting it causes as his mind slowly reels him in, starting to draw him away from reality and into the personal hell that awaits him in his dreams.
Authors: riverofnara and takegamiteijiro
Rating: R overall
Genre: AU, angst
Warnings: Revealed upon request [PM me if you want warnings]
Word Count Total: 28319
Fandom: J-Rock
Characters/Pairing: Gackt x Hyde, You, Megumi, Tetsu, Sakura
Author Notes: This story is going to be revealed, for at least the beginning, four to six parts per day. When I reach chapter divisions, I will post them as whole chapters. This is mostly because this was how the story was written and I find it to be more interesting that way.
His memories from that flood in his mind in one great wave, replacing the cloud in his mind with memories of fangs, blood, and thrashing bodies and the bottle slips from his fingers, hurtling to the floor. Hyde can't tell if this one broke either but that's so insignificant compared to what he's also aware of - fresh blood, pumping seductively in the other room.
Sakura. He steps back, stumbling over the two bottles on the floor but it doesn't bother him because he's just trying to get away, from Sakura, from bad memories, the entire world. He senses Sakura move about in the living room, completely unaware. The monster within him is lying idly by but paying attention to a possible prey, almost like a cat lazily watching a bird in its cage. Hyde's shaking by now, but the alcohol has already taken its effect, making him sink deeper and deeper into some weird void but all he can think is, I have to get out of here. He's bolting towards the exit, tripping over the bottles again but he doesn't care, he can't get to that door fast enough. He slams into it in his haste but his trembling fingers are scrambling at the knob and then something warm gets close, too close, too close -
"Whoa, whoa, slow down," Fingers close around his hand and heat from Sakura's body is spreading up his back and his monster perks up, clearly interested now. Hyde tries to yank his grip from Sakura but he already has Hyde's other wrist in an iron grip and he's tugging him away with gentle words that are trying to calm him but alarm bells are ringing in Hyde's head and whatever he consumed turns it into a siren call, screaming at him to get away. Desperately, he tries to use his strength to escape but the alcohol combined with his strength just sends him and Sakura spinning, spinning, until Hyde tumbles to the floor and Sakura catches himself before he falls on top of him.
"Fucking hell, what's the matter with you?!" Sakura hisses, three inches from his ear. Hyde's trapped, caught in a strange mix of the vampire's grip and inebriation. So he just curls up in a ball, head tucked in deep into his arms to hide from his friend and lets his fangs lightly nudge his skin.
Even with his obvious lack of control, Hyde is able to hold himself away from the monster, keeping himself stable - sane - even as close as he is to Sakura, even though he can hear the warm, living blood rushing through veins that his beast wants so badly to bite down into. He shivers, and god, it's like a nightmare trying to replay itself as he lays there, unwilling and mostly unable to move. Sakura hasn't moved either though, and Hyde can feel the drummer's body heat seeping into his skin as they remain there, locked in a stalemate reminiscent of the days they were together.
It's not entirely unpleasant, but Hyde's beast is still listening attentively to the proof of Sakura's mortality, and he presses his fangs firmly into one of the arms he has across his face, nearly tearing the skin. He doesn't dare to move his arms, either - Hyde remembers all to clearly the mistake he made only days ago, and the fact that he remembers so clearly even in this state is a testament to his determination to not let it happen again. He can't stand the thought of hurting someone else, but then Sakura shifts above him, moving to crouch at his side and give him a little more of the room he needs right now.
"You should sleep, if you're feeling that bad," Sakura tells him, and Hyde moves his fingers to uncover one eye as the drummer gestures at the guest room to the side. "You can't drive like that," he adds, shrugging when Hyde continues to just stare because he's never seen his friend like this and a corner of his mind realises that he must've just scared the he'll out of the drummer with whatever just happened because the Sakura he knows would let him go with an easy goodbye. Even so, when he offers Hyde a hand up, he is reluctant to take it; intoxicated or not, when his darker half is interested in something, it usually isn't good for the object of interest.
"Just give me a moment," he mutters, his words all muffled and getting lost into his arm. He still doesn't dare to budge until Sakura lowers his hand, his concern evident in the way he still hovers nearby. His ‘cool guy’ demeanour has melted away into something different now, all hesitant, cautious, and worried. No matter what Hyde does, it seems like he can't stop hurting everyone else and the guilt won't stop eating him apart. He squeezes his eyes tightly and inhales, shoving away that disappointed beast back into its dark cage. Sakura's eyes are still boring into his, waiting on him so Hyde rolls onto his side and pushes up, keeping his back turned to Sakura.
He's still on edge though, his body shaking not from the alcohol but from the terror of being discovered again. Behind him, Sakura places a hand on his back to steady him but Hyde moves away almost immediately, frightened of the prospect of feeling warmth and awakening his senses again. He doesn't speak because his fangs are still pressed against his lip and gingerly, he steps away from Sakura to the guest room, not once feeling Sakura's gaze leave him. It's only when the door shuts and he locks it that Hyde feels the burden lift from his shoulders but he only seems to be wading through a mess of emotions that send him almost spiralling into a panic attack as he realizes just how close he came. Now, his body can't seem to stop shaking and he's stuffing his fist into his mouth to hold back noise gasps as he collapses on the bed.
Behind him, he can hear Sakura move, the clink of glass telling him that he's picking up after the mess Hyde caused. He lets out a quiet sob and buries his head into the pillow, curling up into the smallest ball possible. Maybe then, he can hide from this nightmare he's thrown himself into.
It's not long before his glazed mind supplies unerringly accurate details of three nights ago, though, and slowly, they morph and twist and change into something entirely new, a product of his misery and overactive imagination. He can barely see straight but in his mind's eye, he's watching over and over again as Gackt struggles beneath him, and it doesn't take much of a stretch to imagine what it would be like if he hadn't stopped himself, if he had pushed his fangs that tiny bit deeper and pierced the vein. In his mind, Gackt is screaming, his voice raw as blood pulses out from his jugular, gush after gush of sweet crimson as it overflows, so horrifying and yet, at the same time, so beautiful.
He wants to die, somehow, but he hasn't got that choice as the perfect image of Gackt imprinted on his mind slowly dies, his eyes rolling back as his hands go limp. His voice dies suddenly in his throat, cutting off as though someone has flipped the 'off' switch for him, and Hyde can feel the tears again, dripping down his face.
A short series of shuddering gasps hits him as he human instinct to breathe suddenly insinuates itself, and Hyde's fingers curl in the blankets of the bed as though the plush comforter is someone to blame. But he has no scapegoat and, as the memory of Gackt's terrified expression fills his mind, he turns his hands inward and rakes his nails along his arms, revelling in the sting it causes as his mind slowly reels him in, starting to draw him away from reality and into the personal hell that awaits him in his dreams.