[Fanfiction] Inevitable - Part 33, 34, 35 / 82
Series: Inevitable
Authors: riverofnara and takegamiteijiro
Rating: R overall
Genre: AU, angst
Warnings: Revealed upon request [PM me if you want warnings]
Word Count Total: 28319
Fandom: J-Rock
Characters/Pairing: Gackt x Hyde, You, Megumi, Tetsu, Sakura
Author Notes: This story is going to be revealed, for at least the beginning, four to six parts per day. When I reach chapter divisions, I will post them as whole chapters. This is mostly because this was how the story was written and I find it to be more interesting that way.
He's not nearly as drunk as he wants to be though - he's starting to approach being tipsy enough to think about things he's been avoiding without really hurting too much, and so his mind begins to drift to Gackt. He’s willing to start to try and scratch the surface, and two bottles later, that's all he's thinking about - how much he misses Gackt, how much he wants to apologise, how unnervingly beautiful the man is in his memory, every smile, every kiss...
He's crying before he realises it, tiny droplets coursing down his face and fuck, this wasn't what he came here for. He came here for escape, but now that his inhibitions are lowered he can't help but cry, missing his lover, hating himself. He wipes the tears away quickly, but he's too slow and Sakura gives him a look Hyde swears he learned from Tetsu because it's the perfect 'concerned mother' look and a second later, Hyde giggles as his emotions fly away from him, offering his glass to Sakura long enough for the drummer to fill it up and return it to him.
His laughter subsides a moment later when he gulps down the rest of whatever it is Sakura's offering him, and he's back to melancholy, letting himself wonder what Gackt's thinking now - is he angry? upset? Hyde isn't sure and while he's sure that it would be a bad idea to go and find out, what he's not sure of is if he wants to know or not. The only thing he knows is that it's going to plague him until he can forget about it, and that thought in mind, he knocks back the glass and stands up, walking over to the liquor cabinet to select the next bottle he wants to empty.
Behind him, there's a soft sigh and a murmur of his name but Hyde just plucks up the next bottle and returns to his seat. After a few seconds of fumbling with the top, it's open and he scoots it along the table for Sakura to pour. With his luck, it'll spill all over the table and that's one minute he could have spent trying to forget. Once again, he's swimming in hatred for his vampire side - he'd be gone right now if he were human but he supposes he should be thankful that vampires can at least get drunk. He's not sure what he would have done except maybe wander the streets, completely lost with his pain as his shadow and it sends a shudder through his body. Swiftly, he grabs the glass and knocks it back, hoping maybe his thoughts will swirl down with the rest of the liquid and just disappear.
He's getting there though, crawling inch by inch. It's at a distance, creeping in, and he can almost feel the ghost of the numb bliss that he's hoping will follow. The numbness is what will save him from tainted memories and beloved ones as well. It's like any wonderful memory he shared with Gackt is stained with blood and he's quick to push the glass back to Sakura when another set of tears threaten to fall. If he keeps crying, Sakura might just call Tetsu and Hyde will never be free from his memories after that.
Sakura gives him the glass and then stands up, moving into the living room. Hyde swipes at his eyes before he swigs down the clear liquid in two gulps. It settles warmly in his stomach and he just tries to focus on that feeling and let it build rather than dwindling in his mind, where he's clearly running into trouble. As long as he does that, he should be okay for now - the present is all that matters anyway.
He makes that his job - to concentrate on what's going on in front of him - and it seems to work for a while as he unsteadily pours himself another glass, drinking it quickly before orchestrating a slightly clumsy grab for just the bottle. He misses the first time, his vision blurred and making everything start to appear in double as he tries again, wrapping his fingers tightly around the neck of the bottle before bringing it to his lips and tipping it upward. The alcohol flows smoothly into his system and he puts the bottle back at a resting position as he leans back in the chair he's sitting in, closing his eyes contentedly. He feels warm, oddly, and while he hazily attributes that to the amount he's had to drink - was it ten, or twenty, or maybe thirty cups of alcohol he'd consumed? - he also enjoys it. It's like a lover's embrace, warm and comforting, and with his mind still firmly focused on the here and now, he curls his legs against his body, bringing the bottle up to his lips again and drinking deeply from it.
He finishes the bottle a few minutes later, simply dropping it to the side. He doesn't hear a crash so he supposes that it's okay, and he sighs softly, closing his eyes. He's not nearly drunk enough yet to let slip the things going through his mind and for that he is grateful, but by the same token, he's not drunk enough to forget, either, and he's not sure what to do about it.
Sakura's still moving in the other room and he's tempted to get up and get himself another drink before the drummer returns, but he stays put instead, relaxing against the back of the plush armchair for a moment before giving into temptation and pushing himself up to a standing position. His steps are barely uneven, just enough to let anyone watching know that he's tipsy, but too steady to qualify him as wasted as he makes it over to the corner, grabbing onto a single-malt whisky that looks like it's a little more expensive than the first thing he'd downed. Hyde sighs contently before pulling at the top until it opens, his unnatural strength just a little bit easier to access as the line between human and vampire within him blurs. It's a kind of nirvana, where his two halves aren't at odds with one another and he loves it, and a smile crosses his face as he takes a sip from the bottle, starting to head back to his chair.
He stops when, mid-sip, the bottle clinks against his extended fangs.
Authors: riverofnara and takegamiteijiro
Rating: R overall
Genre: AU, angst
Warnings: Revealed upon request [PM me if you want warnings]
Word Count Total: 28319
Fandom: J-Rock
Characters/Pairing: Gackt x Hyde, You, Megumi, Tetsu, Sakura
Author Notes: This story is going to be revealed, for at least the beginning, four to six parts per day. When I reach chapter divisions, I will post them as whole chapters. This is mostly because this was how the story was written and I find it to be more interesting that way.
He's not nearly as drunk as he wants to be though - he's starting to approach being tipsy enough to think about things he's been avoiding without really hurting too much, and so his mind begins to drift to Gackt. He’s willing to start to try and scratch the surface, and two bottles later, that's all he's thinking about - how much he misses Gackt, how much he wants to apologise, how unnervingly beautiful the man is in his memory, every smile, every kiss...
He's crying before he realises it, tiny droplets coursing down his face and fuck, this wasn't what he came here for. He came here for escape, but now that his inhibitions are lowered he can't help but cry, missing his lover, hating himself. He wipes the tears away quickly, but he's too slow and Sakura gives him a look Hyde swears he learned from Tetsu because it's the perfect 'concerned mother' look and a second later, Hyde giggles as his emotions fly away from him, offering his glass to Sakura long enough for the drummer to fill it up and return it to him.
His laughter subsides a moment later when he gulps down the rest of whatever it is Sakura's offering him, and he's back to melancholy, letting himself wonder what Gackt's thinking now - is he angry? upset? Hyde isn't sure and while he's sure that it would be a bad idea to go and find out, what he's not sure of is if he wants to know or not. The only thing he knows is that it's going to plague him until he can forget about it, and that thought in mind, he knocks back the glass and stands up, walking over to the liquor cabinet to select the next bottle he wants to empty.
Behind him, there's a soft sigh and a murmur of his name but Hyde just plucks up the next bottle and returns to his seat. After a few seconds of fumbling with the top, it's open and he scoots it along the table for Sakura to pour. With his luck, it'll spill all over the table and that's one minute he could have spent trying to forget. Once again, he's swimming in hatred for his vampire side - he'd be gone right now if he were human but he supposes he should be thankful that vampires can at least get drunk. He's not sure what he would have done except maybe wander the streets, completely lost with his pain as his shadow and it sends a shudder through his body. Swiftly, he grabs the glass and knocks it back, hoping maybe his thoughts will swirl down with the rest of the liquid and just disappear.
He's getting there though, crawling inch by inch. It's at a distance, creeping in, and he can almost feel the ghost of the numb bliss that he's hoping will follow. The numbness is what will save him from tainted memories and beloved ones as well. It's like any wonderful memory he shared with Gackt is stained with blood and he's quick to push the glass back to Sakura when another set of tears threaten to fall. If he keeps crying, Sakura might just call Tetsu and Hyde will never be free from his memories after that.
Sakura gives him the glass and then stands up, moving into the living room. Hyde swipes at his eyes before he swigs down the clear liquid in two gulps. It settles warmly in his stomach and he just tries to focus on that feeling and let it build rather than dwindling in his mind, where he's clearly running into trouble. As long as he does that, he should be okay for now - the present is all that matters anyway.
He makes that his job - to concentrate on what's going on in front of him - and it seems to work for a while as he unsteadily pours himself another glass, drinking it quickly before orchestrating a slightly clumsy grab for just the bottle. He misses the first time, his vision blurred and making everything start to appear in double as he tries again, wrapping his fingers tightly around the neck of the bottle before bringing it to his lips and tipping it upward. The alcohol flows smoothly into his system and he puts the bottle back at a resting position as he leans back in the chair he's sitting in, closing his eyes contentedly. He feels warm, oddly, and while he hazily attributes that to the amount he's had to drink - was it ten, or twenty, or maybe thirty cups of alcohol he'd consumed? - he also enjoys it. It's like a lover's embrace, warm and comforting, and with his mind still firmly focused on the here and now, he curls his legs against his body, bringing the bottle up to his lips again and drinking deeply from it.
He finishes the bottle a few minutes later, simply dropping it to the side. He doesn't hear a crash so he supposes that it's okay, and he sighs softly, closing his eyes. He's not nearly drunk enough yet to let slip the things going through his mind and for that he is grateful, but by the same token, he's not drunk enough to forget, either, and he's not sure what to do about it.
Sakura's still moving in the other room and he's tempted to get up and get himself another drink before the drummer returns, but he stays put instead, relaxing against the back of the plush armchair for a moment before giving into temptation and pushing himself up to a standing position. His steps are barely uneven, just enough to let anyone watching know that he's tipsy, but too steady to qualify him as wasted as he makes it over to the corner, grabbing onto a single-malt whisky that looks like it's a little more expensive than the first thing he'd downed. Hyde sighs contently before pulling at the top until it opens, his unnatural strength just a little bit easier to access as the line between human and vampire within him blurs. It's a kind of nirvana, where his two halves aren't at odds with one another and he loves it, and a smile crosses his face as he takes a sip from the bottle, starting to head back to his chair.
He stops when, mid-sip, the bottle clinks against his extended fangs.