(no subject)
After I'd ran into Merrick at the house I had been hiding. Hiding from anything and everything I could. The Pink Cherry ran like a top because I'd brought it up that way and I was thankful for that. I was confused and lost, my child dead. Dead in a way I'd wish upon no one but once again fate was in charge of everything and what a painful reminder. I couldn't let her go on like that, a vampire. I'd have to find the courage to rid her of this disease, find a way for her to be at peace and dead the way she should be. If I'd only been more of a Mother and not given her as much freedom as I had, oh why am I even saying that. Merrick had a mind of her own and I couldn't hold her down or back from that, she was special. She always will be special. I didn't call Angel because I didn't want to trouble him any further, as far as he knew my daughter was missing. I could lie to him and tell him that she was killed, buried and gone and he'd never know. He hadn't called though and I assume it is because he's trying very hard to find Faith.
Faith.
I was going to find her and rip her limb from limb and enjoy it to the fullest extent. As much as I wanted to do just that I couldn't. Something was wrong with me. I felt lethargic and tired all of the time and didn't want to do much of anything. My body was changing, altering and I had no control over it. It was like this when I was carrying Merrick and Merrick's words still stung my ears.
You've got a secret too just like me, but your secret is better than mine. Can't you feel it? Can't you feel the heart beating inside of you? He's going to take my place and that makes me angry, Mommy. I've got to kill him and you, you both.
I knew exactly what she meant. I could feel life inside of my long dead body. Not dead but not alive. Stuck somewhere in between and never really knowing what I was. Two hundred and some odd years of not knowing what the hell I am only of how I became what I was. Dark cold night. Hands. Lights. Pain. Twisting and screaming around my body until everything was clear and pristine. There I was, reborn into a new life. Lonely and aching for decades upon centuries until one fate filled night I heard it, a soft throbbing patter from within my body. It grew and grew until Merrick arrived. I didn't understand why or how she'd become, I just accepted it and loved her with everything I had. Now? I had that same feeling and I knew what it meant. A child was growing deep inside me and I was scared to know its destiny and fate. I wasn't even sure I was going to allow it to continue to use my body as a vessel, good or evil can come from a body. I didn't need anything more evil than my dead child stalking the dark night in search of blood. She killed and I knew as soon as this child left my body she'd come for us, kill us and leave us lifeless as she smiled and took Faith's hand.
This child... this child... couldn't be born. Angel could never know. He'd never know. It'd be my secret.
Faith.
I was going to find her and rip her limb from limb and enjoy it to the fullest extent. As much as I wanted to do just that I couldn't. Something was wrong with me. I felt lethargic and tired all of the time and didn't want to do much of anything. My body was changing, altering and I had no control over it. It was like this when I was carrying Merrick and Merrick's words still stung my ears.
You've got a secret too just like me, but your secret is better than mine. Can't you feel it? Can't you feel the heart beating inside of you? He's going to take my place and that makes me angry, Mommy. I've got to kill him and you, you both.
I knew exactly what she meant. I could feel life inside of my long dead body. Not dead but not alive. Stuck somewhere in between and never really knowing what I was. Two hundred and some odd years of not knowing what the hell I am only of how I became what I was. Dark cold night. Hands. Lights. Pain. Twisting and screaming around my body until everything was clear and pristine. There I was, reborn into a new life. Lonely and aching for decades upon centuries until one fate filled night I heard it, a soft throbbing patter from within my body. It grew and grew until Merrick arrived. I didn't understand why or how she'd become, I just accepted it and loved her with everything I had. Now? I had that same feeling and I knew what it meant. A child was growing deep inside me and I was scared to know its destiny and fate. I wasn't even sure I was going to allow it to continue to use my body as a vessel, good or evil can come from a body. I didn't need anything more evil than my dead child stalking the dark night in search of blood. She killed and I knew as soon as this child left my body she'd come for us, kill us and leave us lifeless as she smiled and took Faith's hand.
This child... this child... couldn't be born. Angel could never know. He'd never know. It'd be my secret.