Wrong Feelings: Chapter 2
Title: Wrong Feelings
Pairing: Minties, eventually Tali
Rating: NC-17
Author:tailzz0666
Summary:Summary 10 years of lies can do alot to a man. so can the fear of being alone.
Warnings: suicide attempt, self harm, one mention of an eating disorder, cuteness, shitty writing
Authors Notes: this is actually based on a dream i had which i spent 10 hours telling to Chelsea who told me it could be a fic so here it is.
Dedications: heartsdesire456 for telling me to do this. and pencilmaster cause she rocks
Ed’ recovery was slow from then on. The rest of the band made sure he was never alone in case he got scared or just needed some help with anything. After a month of Ed’ legs still being too weak to support himself without help Alex insisted he go to the hospital like they should have done in the first place.
They all sat in the waiting room at the hospital all getting fed up after having waited for two hours already, Ali suggested they tell the nurse Ed is only sixteen so they could go into the children’ waiting room where they would A. Get seen quicker and B. Get to play on the video game machine they had in there.
The third hour past and finally a female doctor with red streaks in her hair walked towards them “Edward Minton?” she asked and Ed raised his hand. She took out her notes and read through them “Hello im Doctor Chelsea Williford if you could please follow me into a cubical and we can get you started” she said in a thick American accent that reminded Ed of old cowboy movies. They all stood up to walk Ed into the ward when another doctor stopped them “are you all relatives of the patient?” he asked sneering at them. Doctor Williford smiled cheerfully at the older doctor “i’ve already checked they are cousins on holiday down here. Is there anything else you wanted?” she asked but the older Doctor just snarled and walked away. Ed smiled brightly up at the doctor “thanks” he said, she just nodded and continued to walk on to the cubical closing the curtain around them all. “So what seems to be the trouble?” the Doctor asked helping Alex lift Ed on the bed. Alex sat next to Ed and explained for him “he fell from a stair case a few months back and he can’t walk properly even though it rarely hurts” , Doctor Williford nodded “could you please turn over so can examine your hips and spine” she asked letting Alex and Teddy turn Ed over. She pressed the palm of her hand against Ed’ spine feeling for any abnormality’ “how far did you fall?” she asked “about 3 floors” Ed answered squirming around from the pain. “I can’t feel anything broken but seeing as you could at least stand i think that was obvious. It seems like you’ve damaged your muscles on your hips which whilst can be painful there isn’t really anything that can be done but let it repair itself” she explained. “I suggest unless your friends are willing to help you everywhere you get yourself some crutches and don’t stand for to long”. Ed pouted again but thanked the doctor before discharging himself and heading home.
When they got back to the house Ed asked if he could go upstairs because he was tired. He lay on the bed pouting at the door thinking over Doctor Willifords diagnosis. What if he never got better? He didn’t want to have to depend on crutches or Alex to get him around everywhere, he had been dependent on Alex completely recently and it just wasn’t fair on him. He loved Alex and he new Alex loved him to but he should be able to look after himself and stop Alex from burning the house down aswell.
Ed hated feeling so useless he knew that they would soon get fed up with him. He didn’t want to be left alone again. Ed sobbed into his pillow the wrong feelings taking hold again “no” he cried “i can’t let it happen i won’t be wrong anymore i can’t be. I promised Alex i’d be normal not wrong”. Tears soaked through his pillow as he pulled his wallet out and removed the blade he kept hidden in the card pocket. “I won’t be wrong i promise Alex” he cried pulling up his shirt, he dug the blade into his already scared skin. The burn as the blood spilled down his front felt so good as he watched the wrong drain out of him. He dug the blade in again and again till a thin layer of blood coated his lower stomach and was soaked up by his boxers the pain unnoticable to Ed. “Im not wrong” he wispered “for now”, he put the blade back in his wallet and curled up under the sheets waiting for the blood to stop.
Eds sleep became restless, he thrashed and turned in the bed wimpering and crying reaching out for something to far away. The knocking from upstairs alerted Alex, Dan Teddy and Ali to Eds distress and went running up him thinking he had fallen over. They entered the room and found the still sleeping Ed trapped in his nightmares. Alex pulled Ed up onto his lap and rocked him gently singing softly in his ear “chase the nightmares away, unicorns bite you know they protect you wilst you sleep sweet dreams my lover sweet dreams” he sang whistling the end of the song. Teddy came and say next to Alex and rubbed Eds side helping calm the frightened boy. His hand moved up his side brushing over his stomach and the cuts, Ed twitched and wined in his sleep and did so again when Teddys hand came back down. Teddy and Alex both looked at each other both thinking identical things. They looked down at Eds middle and saw the dark damp patch on his clothes and the red dots on the sheets, “no” Alex wispered “he promised he wouldn’t he promised he wouldn’t do it again” he cried silently to himself feeling betrayed that Ed had lied again. He thought Ed knew better now that he shouldn’t keep secrets and that if things were troubling him he should just let it out, scream and shout if he wanted or cry in the corner but not to keep it bottled up so much he resorted to cutting again. Dan and Ali silently walked out of the room getting the first aid kit they now kept in the bathroom and bringing it back to the bedroom. None of the boys looked at each other whilst Dan cleaned the fresh cuts and covered them with sticky plasters.
Ed woke up to see 8 eyes looking back at him all staring into his tear glistened ones. Alex shook his head at Ed “why Ed? Why do it again? You can talk to us but you cut instead? What for?” he said trying to keep his calm. Ed cried again “i don’t wanna be a cripple i wanna be able to walk around by myself i don’t want crutches or people hovering waiting for me to fall i don’t wanna be wrong but i am im WRONG” he screeched. He curled up hitting himself repeatedly over the head “wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong” he screamed ear piercingly loud. Alex grabbed Eds wrists and held them back against the pillow struggling to hold Ed down as he kicked and screamed and tried to get away “no please im wrong let me go please Alex i don’t want to be wrong let me GO” he begged. Alex didn’t let go even when he felt his heart get ripped out knowing he was hurting Ed by not letting him go “im sorry Ed but i can’t you need to stay” he wispered “i need you to” he leant in and kissed Ed quickly before he could protest more. Ed froze on the spot eyes shutting enjoying the love Alex was showing him “i need you here with me Eddie cause who else will put up with me? That lot ?” he asked nodding his head towards Dan and Ali. “ I can’t. I WON’T let you go not this time, you almost slipped away before but never again. You own my heart Ed Minton please don’t break it more than it already is” he wispered.
Teddy interupted this moment again “Ed come down stairs and we can all talk i have an idea of how we can all become closer. No secrets anymore Ed thats the rule of this game” he said cryptically.
They all scuttled down stairs and put chairs around the sofa so Ed could lie down. “Ok the rules of the game are 1. You get 20 questions each write them down on a bit of paper 5 times they can be what ever you like but try to keep them as sensible as possible ok? 2. No making fun of another persons answer or question 3. You HAVE to answer them honestly no leaving anything blank or putting a false answer it ruins the game. And rule number 4. Ali and Dan no fighting its just a game no one can actually win anything. You all understand?” four nods “ok then we shall begin”. Teddy handed out the paper and pens and they all set to work.
Dan:
1: do you like bananas? Yes
Teddy: yes
Ali: yes:
Alex :yes
Ed: yes
2: have you ever worn womans clothing? Once when drunk
Teddy: i don’t know probably whilst drunk
Ali: no
Alex yes
Ed: yes
3: did you/would you like to wear womans clothing? No
Teddy: no
Ali: no
Alex: no
Ed: i wouldn’t ever wear a dress or skirt but the other stuff isn’t to bad so id say yes
4: have you ever kissed someone of the opposite sex? Yes
Teddy: yes
Ali: yes
Alex: yes
Ed: no
5: have you ever had sex with somone of the opposite sex? Yes
Teddy: yes
Ali: yes
Alex: yes
Ed: no
6: have you kissed someone of the same sex? Yes
Teddy: yes
Ali: yes
Alex: yes
Ed: yes
7: have you had sex with somone of the same sex? No
Teddy: no
Ali: no
Alex: no
Ed: no
8: do you think Ali is a spaz? Yes
Teddy: sometimes
Ali: tosser
Alex: yes
Ed: yes
9: do you think Teddy should wear bear ears on his head to prove he really does look like a Teddy bear? Yes
Teddy: no
Ali: yes
Alex: yes
Ed: awwww yess that would be cute
10: have you ever prank phone called someone in another country? Yes
Teddy: yes
Ali: no
Alex: no
Ed: no
11: if you have what did you say and who was it to? It was a indian call centre and i asked them if they were an escort service
Teddy: i was with Dan when he did it
12: if you haven’t would you?
Ali: yes
Alex: maybe
Ed: no
13: what is the most shocking thing you have ever done? Sky diving
Teddy: let you assholes shave my head
Ali: pole danced on a table in some club
Alex: made it
Ed: jumped
14: do you dye your hair? Sometimes
Teddy: no
Ali: yes
Alex: sometimes
Ed: no
15: do you smoke? No
Teddy: no
Ali: no
Alex: no
Ed : no
16: do you drink? Yes
Teddy : yes
Ali: yes
Alex: yes
Ed: yes
17: what is your favourite drink? Strongbow
Teddy: strongbow
Ali: beer
Alex: wine
Ed: tea
18: do you eat meat? Yes
Teddy: yes
Ali: yes
Alex: yes
Ed: yes
19: do you prefer sandals or trainers? Depends
Teddy: trainers
Ali: trainers
Alex: trainers
Ed: trainers unless its really hot
20: which Hetherton brother is better looking? Dan duh
Teddy: me
Ali: Teddy
Alex: Teddy
Ed: Teddy
Ali:
1: do you like dairy? Yes
Teddy: yes
Dan: yes
Alex: the ice cream?
Ed: yes
2: can you dance? No
Teddy: sort of
Dan: sometimes
Alex: no
Ed: not danced since school
3: have you ever stolen something? No
Teddy: no
Dan: nope
Alex: no
Ed: no
4: have you ever beaten someone up? No
Teddy: no
Dan: no
Alex: no
Ed: no
5: have you ever made someone cry? Yes
Teddy: yes
Dan: yes
Alex: yes
Ed: yes
6: have you ever been arrested? No
Teddy: no
Dan: no
Alex: yes
Ed: yes
7: have you ever failed an exam? Yes
Teddy: no
Dan: yes
Alex: yes
Ed: no
8: have you ever lied about your height to someone? Yes
Teddy: no need to
Dan: no
Alex: maybe once or twice
Ed: whats the point i can’t lie about being short
9: is Dan a jerk? Yes
Teddy: yes
Dan: why are you all picking on me
Alex: yes
Ed: no
10: how big is your penis? Bigger than all of yours
Teddy: vulgar question
Dan: not to big not to small just how the ladies like it
Alex: big enough thank you very much
Ed: i’ve never been creepy enough to measure it thank you very much
11: can you rap? No
Teddy: no
Dan: no
Alex: no
Ed: no
12: favourite flavour crisps? Bbq
Teddy: cheese and onion
Dan: ready salted
Alex prawn coctail
Ed: tomato ketchup flavour
13: cats or dogs? Dogs
Teddy: dogs
Dan: dogs
Alex: dogs
Ed: dogs
14: dogs or cats? Dogs
Teddy: twat
Dan: spaz
Alex: prat
Ed: you wasted a question dummy
15: favourite nickname for Alex? Mavis
Teddy: mavis
Dan: failvies
Alex: Alex is just fine thank you very much
Ed: Lexi
16: scariest thing you’ve ever seen whilst awake?? Dans arse
Teddy: Ali in the morning
Dan: MOTHS
Alex: Ed fall
Ed: Alex sad
17: scariest thing you’ve ever seen online? Creepy old guy porn
Teddy: screamers on youtube
Dan: chatroulette
Alex: haters websites
Ed: the running poodle thing
18: scariest thing you’ve ever seen asleep? Monster
Teddy: corpse
Dan: MOTHS DAMN IT
Alex: Eds coffin
Ed: being alone
19: biggest fear? Heights
Teddy: snakes
Dan: moths
Alex: not being able to make music
Ed: being alone
20: weirdest thing you love? You lot
Teddy: Ali summed this one up perfectly
Dan: agreed
Alex: seconded
Ed: Alex
Teddy:
1: do you know how to play any The Who songs? Yes
Ali: no
Dan: yes
Alex: yes
Ed: yes
2: do you think steve Harris is fantastic? Yes
Ali: whos he again?
Dan: no
Alex: hes good
Ed: hes great but not that great
3: do you think we should replace Ed with Iron Maidens Eddie? Yes
Ali: yes
Dan: yes
Alex no my Ed
Ed: you don’t want me in the band anymore?
4: who thinks Alex has a small dick? What dick?
Ali: yes
Dan: i thankfully have not seen it but yes
Alex: fuck you guys seriously
Ed: nope
5: who thinks Alex really needs to shave? Yes
Ali: yes he looks scruffy
Dan: yes
Alex: i will when i get a chance
Ed: i prefer him without the stubble cause hes cuter without
6: who thinks Alex is, as the fans say, a failbie? Me
Ali: me
Dan: me
Alex: where did that come from anyway?
Ed: nope Lexi is awesome
7: have you ever had a crush on somone and not told them? Yes
Ali: yes
Dan: yes
Alex: yes
Ed: yes but i did in the end
8: have you ever liked another male? Yes
Ali: yes
Dan: no
Alex: dumb question
Ed: why are we doing this again?
9: whos a better singer Ed or Alex? Ed
Ali: Ed
Dan: Ed
Alex: Ed
Ed: Alex
10: who thinks Ali and Dans questions are going to be completly ridiculous? Me
Ali: they weren’t that bad
Dan: me
Alex: me
Ed: me
11: have you ever had sex? Yes
Ali: yes
Dan: yes
Alex: yes
Ed: no
12: what is your favourite song? Aces high
Ali: don’t know
Dan: don’t know
Alex: loads
Ed: to hard to choose
13: who is your idol? Steve Harris
Ali: not you thats for sure
Dan: i don’t have one
Alex: not sure
Ed: Alex
14: do you have a pet? Yes
Ali: i did
Dan: yes
Alex: yes
Ed: if Alexs dog counts yes
15: do you live with your parents? Yes
Ali: no
Dan: yes
Alex: yes
Ed: no
16: whats your favourite colour? Green
Ali:red
Dan: blue
Alex: green
Ed: blue
17: have you ever worn make up? No
Ali: yes
Dan: no
Alex: yes
Ed: yes
18: would you? No
Dan: no
19: did you like it?
Ali: no
Alex: no opinion
Ed: yes
20: did you all answer these questions honsetly? Yes
Ali: yes
Dan: yes
Alex: yes
Ed:yes
Alex:
1: favourite piece of music to play that is not our own? Something classical
Teddy: aces high
Dan: something fast
Ali: something i can remember
Ed: don’t know
2: worst song you have ever head? Living in the USA
Teddy: something by the jonas brothers
Dan: barbie girl
Ali: sugababes about you now
Ed: something rubbish
3: do you have a crush on someone at the moment? Yes
Teddy: yes
Dan: no
Ali: yes
Ed: yes
4: who is it? Ed
Teddy: Ali
Dan: i don’t have one
Ali: Teddy
Ed: Alex
5: who thinks Ed is adorable? Me
Teddy: me
Dan: me
Ali: not me
Ed: shut up Alex
6: who thinks that when Ed is better we should all go on holiday? Me
Teddy; me
Dan: me
Ali: me
Ed: if i get to be with you Alex yes
7: where should we go? Eds choice
Teddy: somewhere with sun
Dan: somewhere we can snowboard
Ali: somewhere with good food
Ed: skiiing in finland?
8: Ed why are you so beautiful: seriously Ed how?
Teddy: this was supposed to be for everyone not just Ed
Dan: creep
Ali: perv
Ed: im not Alex really. Only in your eyes am i pretty
9: why are you other guys so butt ugly?
Teddy: look in a mirror
Dan: he can’t he broke it already
Ali: did it break his face to?
Ed: Alex don’t be mean
10: why has somone drawn dicks all over the underside of the coffee table?
Teddy: Ali did it
11: which one of you did it?
Ali: wasn’t me
12: what is your earliest child hood memory? Getting my first violin
Teddy: Dan being born
Dan: cutting my knee in the garden and Teddy gave me ice cream to stop me crying
Ali: first Sunday roast
Ed: i don’t remember anything
13: what is the most dangerous thing you’ve ever done? Driven drunk
Teddy: walked on a spikey fence
Dan: drank random drinks lying about at a club
Ed: jumped
14: favourite subject when you were in school? Music
Teddy: music
Dan: sport
Ali: dinner
Ed: music
15: do you believe in love? Yes
Teddy: yes
Dan: maybe
Ali: yes
Ed: yes
16: have you ever been in love? Yes
Teddy: yes
Dan: no
Ali: yes
Ed: yes
17: are you in love now? Yes
Teddy: not sure
Dan: no
Ali kind of
Ed: yes
18: ever used a dildo? Where do you think i got the fireflies idea from ?
Teddy: eww
Dan: freak
Ali:sicko
Ed: no
19: dream band to tour with? The used
Teddy: iron maiden
Dan: paramore at the moment
Ali: don’t mind
Ed: sense fail
20: will someone get me a beer im thirsty and lazy? Please
Teddy: get up and get one for your self
Ed:
1: ever done something you regret? Yes
Teddy: yes
Dan: yes
Ali: yes
Alex: yes
2: ever doubted your sanity? Yes
Teddy: no
Dan: no
Ali: no
Alex: no
3: ever wanted to scream so loud your lungs burst?yes
Teddy: hasn’t everyone?
Dan: yep
Ali: once
Alex: yes
4: ever been so scared of the darkness you wished it would just swallow you whole so you didn’t have to see it anymore? Yes
Teddy: no
Dan: no
Ali: no
Alex: maybe as a kid
5: ever hurt youself purposly? Yes
Teddy: no
Dan: no
Ali: no
Alex: no
6: ever wanted to hurt someone so they knew how you felt? Yes
Teddy: no
Dan: no
Ali: no
Alex: no
7: ever felt so tired you didn’t think you could ever wake up again? Yes
Teddy: no
Dan: no
Ali: yes
Alex: yes
8: whats your biggest secret? You already know it
Teddy: answered about about Ali
Dan: i don’t keep secrets
Ali: Teddy i can read your answers you know? And in a minute im going to snog your face off
Alex: that if you died that night so would i
9: have you ever told it to anyone else before this? Yes and look what happened
Teddy: no
Ali: no
Alex: i told Dan
10: how did they react? Like i said look what happened
Teddy: my lips hurt now
Ali: ‘they’ need to hurry up and answer this question so i can demonstrate that secret again
Alex: he didn’t
11: ever done something wrong but someone else has righted it even though you didn’t want them to? Yes
Teddy: no
Dan: no
Ali: no
Alex: no
12: whats the longest you’ve gone without eating? Over a week
Teddy: a day once when camping
Dan: same as Teddy cause we forgot to back enough food
Ali: a few hours
Alex: couple of days when i was in the studio
13: why did you go that long? Another way to stop being wrong
Teddy: forgot
Dan: no food
Ali: cause i don’t eat ALL the time
Alex: musics more important
14: biggest mistake of your life? Jumping
Teddy: yelling at you
Dan: laughing at Ed
Ali: making Dan be mean to Ed
Alex: not helping you when you were 13
15: happiest moment of your life? Kissing Alex my first kiss
Teddy: Dan being born
Dan: first tour
Ali: next meal?
Alex: knowing Ed was alive
16: saddest? When i was 13
Teddy: the time after i yelled at Ed and left
Ali: don’t know
Dan: having no drum kit for a MONTH
Alex: seeing Ed hurt
17: sweetest? Kissed Alex
Teddy: Dan nicknaming me Teddy
Dan: first kiss
Ali: cake
Alex: Ed saying i lvoe you
18: most confusing? Aged 13
Teddy: about 1month ago
Dan: deciding wether to dye my hair or not
Ali: 2 moths back
Alex: falling for Ed
19: funniest? Ali being a twirp
Teddy:agreed:
Dan: ditto
Ali: HEYYYYYY
Alex: Teddys face when Ed called him grizzly
20: why can’t i stop feeling like this? I hate feeling like this. I hate feeling wrong
Teddy: tell us how you feel and we can help you
Dan: speak to us
Ali: hitting Dan makes everything better
Dan answer 2: killing Ali works much better
Alex: Ed you can talk to us about anything and we will allways stand by yourside
They each read through the others questions and answered them before doing their own.
Ali attacked Teddy with kisses and knocking the wind out of him whilst he was at it.
Ed pouted and giggled at appropriate intervals to the questions he was answering .
Alex answered his quickly then watched Ed fill out his.
Dan glared at Ali and his brother and made puke faces at Alex.
Teddy read out all the answers and suggested they each comment on what they thought of them.
Alex spoke first “Ed how do you feel? Don’t keep it bottled up again tell us.” He demanded, Ed shook his head “no you’ll leave me again and i don’t wanna be alone” he cried. Dan looked at Ed like he was dumb “we never left you in the first place so we aren’t going to leave you now” he explained Ali and Teddy nodded agreeing. “ I know but i can’t help it. You say that then my head tells me its lies and you will go as soon as my back is turned. I want it to stop Alex please make it stop” he begged clinging to his boyfriend. Alex kissed his forehead “ignore what you brain says and go with your heart” he wispered “it will allways keep you safe” .
Once Ed had drifted off to sleep in Alex’ arms the turned to Teddy and Ali “whats going on with you to anyway?” he asked. Ali pulled away from kissing Teddy “he said no secrets anymore so here we are no secrets im bisexual so is he i guess so now i am snogging him, its pretty simple really” he explained “a bit like you” he said cheekily. Alex through an empty beer can at him spilling the last few drops over Alis hair who huffed and stalked off to wash it out. Alex’ looks over at Teddy who is watching the door Ali exited from “it was a good idea Teds” he said “i guess it really did get things out in the open” he smirked nodding to the returning Ali, Teddy smiled “i know, that was the idea” he grinned widely as Ali sat down on his lap getting himself comfortable. Dan spoke up “so i guess everythings worked out for the best. WHO WANTS BEER” he screamed.
Pairing: Minties, eventually Tali
Rating: NC-17
Author:tailzz0666
Summary:Summary 10 years of lies can do alot to a man. so can the fear of being alone.
Warnings: suicide attempt, self harm, one mention of an eating disorder, cuteness, shitty writing
Authors Notes: this is actually based on a dream i had which i spent 10 hours telling to Chelsea who told me it could be a fic so here it is.
Dedications: heartsdesire456 for telling me to do this. and pencilmaster cause she rocks
Ed’ recovery was slow from then on. The rest of the band made sure he was never alone in case he got scared or just needed some help with anything. After a month of Ed’ legs still being too weak to support himself without help Alex insisted he go to the hospital like they should have done in the first place.
They all sat in the waiting room at the hospital all getting fed up after having waited for two hours already, Ali suggested they tell the nurse Ed is only sixteen so they could go into the children’ waiting room where they would A. Get seen quicker and B. Get to play on the video game machine they had in there.
The third hour past and finally a female doctor with red streaks in her hair walked towards them “Edward Minton?” she asked and Ed raised his hand. She took out her notes and read through them “Hello im Doctor Chelsea Williford if you could please follow me into a cubical and we can get you started” she said in a thick American accent that reminded Ed of old cowboy movies. They all stood up to walk Ed into the ward when another doctor stopped them “are you all relatives of the patient?” he asked sneering at them. Doctor Williford smiled cheerfully at the older doctor “i’ve already checked they are cousins on holiday down here. Is there anything else you wanted?” she asked but the older Doctor just snarled and walked away. Ed smiled brightly up at the doctor “thanks” he said, she just nodded and continued to walk on to the cubical closing the curtain around them all. “So what seems to be the trouble?” the Doctor asked helping Alex lift Ed on the bed. Alex sat next to Ed and explained for him “he fell from a stair case a few months back and he can’t walk properly even though it rarely hurts” , Doctor Williford nodded “could you please turn over so can examine your hips and spine” she asked letting Alex and Teddy turn Ed over. She pressed the palm of her hand against Ed’ spine feeling for any abnormality’ “how far did you fall?” she asked “about 3 floors” Ed answered squirming around from the pain. “I can’t feel anything broken but seeing as you could at least stand i think that was obvious. It seems like you’ve damaged your muscles on your hips which whilst can be painful there isn’t really anything that can be done but let it repair itself” she explained. “I suggest unless your friends are willing to help you everywhere you get yourself some crutches and don’t stand for to long”. Ed pouted again but thanked the doctor before discharging himself and heading home.
When they got back to the house Ed asked if he could go upstairs because he was tired. He lay on the bed pouting at the door thinking over Doctor Willifords diagnosis. What if he never got better? He didn’t want to have to depend on crutches or Alex to get him around everywhere, he had been dependent on Alex completely recently and it just wasn’t fair on him. He loved Alex and he new Alex loved him to but he should be able to look after himself and stop Alex from burning the house down aswell.
Ed hated feeling so useless he knew that they would soon get fed up with him. He didn’t want to be left alone again. Ed sobbed into his pillow the wrong feelings taking hold again “no” he cried “i can’t let it happen i won’t be wrong anymore i can’t be. I promised Alex i’d be normal not wrong”. Tears soaked through his pillow as he pulled his wallet out and removed the blade he kept hidden in the card pocket. “I won’t be wrong i promise Alex” he cried pulling up his shirt, he dug the blade into his already scared skin. The burn as the blood spilled down his front felt so good as he watched the wrong drain out of him. He dug the blade in again and again till a thin layer of blood coated his lower stomach and was soaked up by his boxers the pain unnoticable to Ed. “Im not wrong” he wispered “for now”, he put the blade back in his wallet and curled up under the sheets waiting for the blood to stop.
Eds sleep became restless, he thrashed and turned in the bed wimpering and crying reaching out for something to far away. The knocking from upstairs alerted Alex, Dan Teddy and Ali to Eds distress and went running up him thinking he had fallen over. They entered the room and found the still sleeping Ed trapped in his nightmares. Alex pulled Ed up onto his lap and rocked him gently singing softly in his ear “chase the nightmares away, unicorns bite you know they protect you wilst you sleep sweet dreams my lover sweet dreams” he sang whistling the end of the song. Teddy came and say next to Alex and rubbed Eds side helping calm the frightened boy. His hand moved up his side brushing over his stomach and the cuts, Ed twitched and wined in his sleep and did so again when Teddys hand came back down. Teddy and Alex both looked at each other both thinking identical things. They looked down at Eds middle and saw the dark damp patch on his clothes and the red dots on the sheets, “no” Alex wispered “he promised he wouldn’t he promised he wouldn’t do it again” he cried silently to himself feeling betrayed that Ed had lied again. He thought Ed knew better now that he shouldn’t keep secrets and that if things were troubling him he should just let it out, scream and shout if he wanted or cry in the corner but not to keep it bottled up so much he resorted to cutting again. Dan and Ali silently walked out of the room getting the first aid kit they now kept in the bathroom and bringing it back to the bedroom. None of the boys looked at each other whilst Dan cleaned the fresh cuts and covered them with sticky plasters.
Ed woke up to see 8 eyes looking back at him all staring into his tear glistened ones. Alex shook his head at Ed “why Ed? Why do it again? You can talk to us but you cut instead? What for?” he said trying to keep his calm. Ed cried again “i don’t wanna be a cripple i wanna be able to walk around by myself i don’t want crutches or people hovering waiting for me to fall i don’t wanna be wrong but i am im WRONG” he screeched. He curled up hitting himself repeatedly over the head “wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong” he screamed ear piercingly loud. Alex grabbed Eds wrists and held them back against the pillow struggling to hold Ed down as he kicked and screamed and tried to get away “no please im wrong let me go please Alex i don’t want to be wrong let me GO” he begged. Alex didn’t let go even when he felt his heart get ripped out knowing he was hurting Ed by not letting him go “im sorry Ed but i can’t you need to stay” he wispered “i need you to” he leant in and kissed Ed quickly before he could protest more. Ed froze on the spot eyes shutting enjoying the love Alex was showing him “i need you here with me Eddie cause who else will put up with me? That lot ?” he asked nodding his head towards Dan and Ali. “ I can’t. I WON’T let you go not this time, you almost slipped away before but never again. You own my heart Ed Minton please don’t break it more than it already is” he wispered.
Teddy interupted this moment again “Ed come down stairs and we can all talk i have an idea of how we can all become closer. No secrets anymore Ed thats the rule of this game” he said cryptically.
They all scuttled down stairs and put chairs around the sofa so Ed could lie down. “Ok the rules of the game are 1. You get 20 questions each write them down on a bit of paper 5 times they can be what ever you like but try to keep them as sensible as possible ok? 2. No making fun of another persons answer or question 3. You HAVE to answer them honestly no leaving anything blank or putting a false answer it ruins the game. And rule number 4. Ali and Dan no fighting its just a game no one can actually win anything. You all understand?” four nods “ok then we shall begin”. Teddy handed out the paper and pens and they all set to work.
Dan:
1: do you like bananas? Yes
Teddy: yes
Ali: yes:
Alex :yes
Ed: yes
2: have you ever worn womans clothing? Once when drunk
Teddy: i don’t know probably whilst drunk
Ali: no
Alex yes
Ed: yes
3: did you/would you like to wear womans clothing? No
Teddy: no
Ali: no
Alex: no
Ed: i wouldn’t ever wear a dress or skirt but the other stuff isn’t to bad so id say yes
4: have you ever kissed someone of the opposite sex? Yes
Teddy: yes
Ali: yes
Alex: yes
Ed: no
5: have you ever had sex with somone of the opposite sex? Yes
Teddy: yes
Ali: yes
Alex: yes
Ed: no
6: have you kissed someone of the same sex? Yes
Teddy: yes
Ali: yes
Alex: yes
Ed: yes
7: have you had sex with somone of the same sex? No
Teddy: no
Ali: no
Alex: no
Ed: no
8: do you think Ali is a spaz? Yes
Teddy: sometimes
Ali: tosser
Alex: yes
Ed: yes
9: do you think Teddy should wear bear ears on his head to prove he really does look like a Teddy bear? Yes
Teddy: no
Ali: yes
Alex: yes
Ed: awwww yess that would be cute
10: have you ever prank phone called someone in another country? Yes
Teddy: yes
Ali: no
Alex: no
Ed: no
11: if you have what did you say and who was it to? It was a indian call centre and i asked them if they were an escort service
Teddy: i was with Dan when he did it
12: if you haven’t would you?
Ali: yes
Alex: maybe
Ed: no
13: what is the most shocking thing you have ever done? Sky diving
Teddy: let you assholes shave my head
Ali: pole danced on a table in some club
Alex: made it
Ed: jumped
14: do you dye your hair? Sometimes
Teddy: no
Ali: yes
Alex: sometimes
Ed: no
15: do you smoke? No
Teddy: no
Ali: no
Alex: no
Ed : no
16: do you drink? Yes
Teddy : yes
Ali: yes
Alex: yes
Ed: yes
17: what is your favourite drink? Strongbow
Teddy: strongbow
Ali: beer
Alex: wine
Ed: tea
18: do you eat meat? Yes
Teddy: yes
Ali: yes
Alex: yes
Ed: yes
19: do you prefer sandals or trainers? Depends
Teddy: trainers
Ali: trainers
Alex: trainers
Ed: trainers unless its really hot
20: which Hetherton brother is better looking? Dan duh
Teddy: me
Ali: Teddy
Alex: Teddy
Ed: Teddy
Ali:
1: do you like dairy? Yes
Teddy: yes
Dan: yes
Alex: the ice cream?
Ed: yes
2: can you dance? No
Teddy: sort of
Dan: sometimes
Alex: no
Ed: not danced since school
3: have you ever stolen something? No
Teddy: no
Dan: nope
Alex: no
Ed: no
4: have you ever beaten someone up? No
Teddy: no
Dan: no
Alex: no
Ed: no
5: have you ever made someone cry? Yes
Teddy: yes
Dan: yes
Alex: yes
Ed: yes
6: have you ever been arrested? No
Teddy: no
Dan: no
Alex: yes
Ed: yes
7: have you ever failed an exam? Yes
Teddy: no
Dan: yes
Alex: yes
Ed: no
8: have you ever lied about your height to someone? Yes
Teddy: no need to
Dan: no
Alex: maybe once or twice
Ed: whats the point i can’t lie about being short
9: is Dan a jerk? Yes
Teddy: yes
Dan: why are you all picking on me
Alex: yes
Ed: no
10: how big is your penis? Bigger than all of yours
Teddy: vulgar question
Dan: not to big not to small just how the ladies like it
Alex: big enough thank you very much
Ed: i’ve never been creepy enough to measure it thank you very much
11: can you rap? No
Teddy: no
Dan: no
Alex: no
Ed: no
12: favourite flavour crisps? Bbq
Teddy: cheese and onion
Dan: ready salted
Alex prawn coctail
Ed: tomato ketchup flavour
13: cats or dogs? Dogs
Teddy: dogs
Dan: dogs
Alex: dogs
Ed: dogs
14: dogs or cats? Dogs
Teddy: twat
Dan: spaz
Alex: prat
Ed: you wasted a question dummy
15: favourite nickname for Alex? Mavis
Teddy: mavis
Dan: failvies
Alex: Alex is just fine thank you very much
Ed: Lexi
16: scariest thing you’ve ever seen whilst awake?? Dans arse
Teddy: Ali in the morning
Dan: MOTHS
Alex: Ed fall
Ed: Alex sad
17: scariest thing you’ve ever seen online? Creepy old guy porn
Teddy: screamers on youtube
Dan: chatroulette
Alex: haters websites
Ed: the running poodle thing
18: scariest thing you’ve ever seen asleep? Monster
Teddy: corpse
Dan: MOTHS DAMN IT
Alex: Eds coffin
Ed: being alone
19: biggest fear? Heights
Teddy: snakes
Dan: moths
Alex: not being able to make music
Ed: being alone
20: weirdest thing you love? You lot
Teddy: Ali summed this one up perfectly
Dan: agreed
Alex: seconded
Ed: Alex
Teddy:
1: do you know how to play any The Who songs? Yes
Ali: no
Dan: yes
Alex: yes
Ed: yes
2: do you think steve Harris is fantastic? Yes
Ali: whos he again?
Dan: no
Alex: hes good
Ed: hes great but not that great
3: do you think we should replace Ed with Iron Maidens Eddie? Yes
Ali: yes
Dan: yes
Alex no my Ed
Ed: you don’t want me in the band anymore?
4: who thinks Alex has a small dick? What dick?
Ali: yes
Dan: i thankfully have not seen it but yes
Alex: fuck you guys seriously
Ed: nope
5: who thinks Alex really needs to shave? Yes
Ali: yes he looks scruffy
Dan: yes
Alex: i will when i get a chance
Ed: i prefer him without the stubble cause hes cuter without
6: who thinks Alex is, as the fans say, a failbie? Me
Ali: me
Dan: me
Alex: where did that come from anyway?
Ed: nope Lexi is awesome
7: have you ever had a crush on somone and not told them? Yes
Ali: yes
Dan: yes
Alex: yes
Ed: yes but i did in the end
8: have you ever liked another male? Yes
Ali: yes
Dan: no
Alex: dumb question
Ed: why are we doing this again?
9: whos a better singer Ed or Alex? Ed
Ali: Ed
Dan: Ed
Alex: Ed
Ed: Alex
10: who thinks Ali and Dans questions are going to be completly ridiculous? Me
Ali: they weren’t that bad
Dan: me
Alex: me
Ed: me
11: have you ever had sex? Yes
Ali: yes
Dan: yes
Alex: yes
Ed: no
12: what is your favourite song? Aces high
Ali: don’t know
Dan: don’t know
Alex: loads
Ed: to hard to choose
13: who is your idol? Steve Harris
Ali: not you thats for sure
Dan: i don’t have one
Alex: not sure
Ed: Alex
14: do you have a pet? Yes
Ali: i did
Dan: yes
Alex: yes
Ed: if Alexs dog counts yes
15: do you live with your parents? Yes
Ali: no
Dan: yes
Alex: yes
Ed: no
16: whats your favourite colour? Green
Ali:red
Dan: blue
Alex: green
Ed: blue
17: have you ever worn make up? No
Ali: yes
Dan: no
Alex: yes
Ed: yes
18: would you? No
Dan: no
19: did you like it?
Ali: no
Alex: no opinion
Ed: yes
20: did you all answer these questions honsetly? Yes
Ali: yes
Dan: yes
Alex: yes
Ed:yes
Alex:
1: favourite piece of music to play that is not our own? Something classical
Teddy: aces high
Dan: something fast
Ali: something i can remember
Ed: don’t know
2: worst song you have ever head? Living in the USA
Teddy: something by the jonas brothers
Dan: barbie girl
Ali: sugababes about you now
Ed: something rubbish
3: do you have a crush on someone at the moment? Yes
Teddy: yes
Dan: no
Ali: yes
Ed: yes
4: who is it? Ed
Teddy: Ali
Dan: i don’t have one
Ali: Teddy
Ed: Alex
5: who thinks Ed is adorable? Me
Teddy: me
Dan: me
Ali: not me
Ed: shut up Alex
6: who thinks that when Ed is better we should all go on holiday? Me
Teddy; me
Dan: me
Ali: me
Ed: if i get to be with you Alex yes
7: where should we go? Eds choice
Teddy: somewhere with sun
Dan: somewhere we can snowboard
Ali: somewhere with good food
Ed: skiiing in finland?
8: Ed why are you so beautiful: seriously Ed how?
Teddy: this was supposed to be for everyone not just Ed
Dan: creep
Ali: perv
Ed: im not Alex really. Only in your eyes am i pretty
9: why are you other guys so butt ugly?
Teddy: look in a mirror
Dan: he can’t he broke it already
Ali: did it break his face to?
Ed: Alex don’t be mean
10: why has somone drawn dicks all over the underside of the coffee table?
Teddy: Ali did it
11: which one of you did it?
Ali: wasn’t me
12: what is your earliest child hood memory? Getting my first violin
Teddy: Dan being born
Dan: cutting my knee in the garden and Teddy gave me ice cream to stop me crying
Ali: first Sunday roast
Ed: i don’t remember anything
13: what is the most dangerous thing you’ve ever done? Driven drunk
Teddy: walked on a spikey fence
Dan: drank random drinks lying about at a club
Ed: jumped
14: favourite subject when you were in school? Music
Teddy: music
Dan: sport
Ali: dinner
Ed: music
15: do you believe in love? Yes
Teddy: yes
Dan: maybe
Ali: yes
Ed: yes
16: have you ever been in love? Yes
Teddy: yes
Dan: no
Ali: yes
Ed: yes
17: are you in love now? Yes
Teddy: not sure
Dan: no
Ali kind of
Ed: yes
18: ever used a dildo? Where do you think i got the fireflies idea from ?
Teddy: eww
Dan: freak
Ali:sicko
Ed: no
19: dream band to tour with? The used
Teddy: iron maiden
Dan: paramore at the moment
Ali: don’t mind
Ed: sense fail
20: will someone get me a beer im thirsty and lazy? Please
Teddy: get up and get one for your self
Ed:
1: ever done something you regret? Yes
Teddy: yes
Dan: yes
Ali: yes
Alex: yes
2: ever doubted your sanity? Yes
Teddy: no
Dan: no
Ali: no
Alex: no
3: ever wanted to scream so loud your lungs burst?yes
Teddy: hasn’t everyone?
Dan: yep
Ali: once
Alex: yes
4: ever been so scared of the darkness you wished it would just swallow you whole so you didn’t have to see it anymore? Yes
Teddy: no
Dan: no
Ali: no
Alex: maybe as a kid
5: ever hurt youself purposly? Yes
Teddy: no
Dan: no
Ali: no
Alex: no
6: ever wanted to hurt someone so they knew how you felt? Yes
Teddy: no
Dan: no
Ali: no
Alex: no
7: ever felt so tired you didn’t think you could ever wake up again? Yes
Teddy: no
Dan: no
Ali: yes
Alex: yes
8: whats your biggest secret? You already know it
Teddy: answered about about Ali
Dan: i don’t keep secrets
Ali: Teddy i can read your answers you know? And in a minute im going to snog your face off
Alex: that if you died that night so would i
9: have you ever told it to anyone else before this? Yes and look what happened
Teddy: no
Ali: no
Alex: i told Dan
10: how did they react? Like i said look what happened
Teddy: my lips hurt now
Ali: ‘they’ need to hurry up and answer this question so i can demonstrate that secret again
Alex: he didn’t
11: ever done something wrong but someone else has righted it even though you didn’t want them to? Yes
Teddy: no
Dan: no
Ali: no
Alex: no
12: whats the longest you’ve gone without eating? Over a week
Teddy: a day once when camping
Dan: same as Teddy cause we forgot to back enough food
Ali: a few hours
Alex: couple of days when i was in the studio
13: why did you go that long? Another way to stop being wrong
Teddy: forgot
Dan: no food
Ali: cause i don’t eat ALL the time
Alex: musics more important
14: biggest mistake of your life? Jumping
Teddy: yelling at you
Dan: laughing at Ed
Ali: making Dan be mean to Ed
Alex: not helping you when you were 13
15: happiest moment of your life? Kissing Alex my first kiss
Teddy: Dan being born
Dan: first tour
Ali: next meal?
Alex: knowing Ed was alive
16: saddest? When i was 13
Teddy: the time after i yelled at Ed and left
Ali: don’t know
Dan: having no drum kit for a MONTH
Alex: seeing Ed hurt
17: sweetest? Kissed Alex
Teddy: Dan nicknaming me Teddy
Dan: first kiss
Ali: cake
Alex: Ed saying i lvoe you
18: most confusing? Aged 13
Teddy: about 1month ago
Dan: deciding wether to dye my hair or not
Ali: 2 moths back
Alex: falling for Ed
19: funniest? Ali being a twirp
Teddy:agreed:
Dan: ditto
Ali: HEYYYYYY
Alex: Teddys face when Ed called him grizzly
20: why can’t i stop feeling like this? I hate feeling like this. I hate feeling wrong
Teddy: tell us how you feel and we can help you
Dan: speak to us
Ali: hitting Dan makes everything better
Dan answer 2: killing Ali works much better
Alex: Ed you can talk to us about anything and we will allways stand by yourside
They each read through the others questions and answered them before doing their own.
Ali attacked Teddy with kisses and knocking the wind out of him whilst he was at it.
Ed pouted and giggled at appropriate intervals to the questions he was answering .
Alex answered his quickly then watched Ed fill out his.
Dan glared at Ali and his brother and made puke faces at Alex.
Teddy read out all the answers and suggested they each comment on what they thought of them.
Alex spoke first “Ed how do you feel? Don’t keep it bottled up again tell us.” He demanded, Ed shook his head “no you’ll leave me again and i don’t wanna be alone” he cried. Dan looked at Ed like he was dumb “we never left you in the first place so we aren’t going to leave you now” he explained Ali and Teddy nodded agreeing. “ I know but i can’t help it. You say that then my head tells me its lies and you will go as soon as my back is turned. I want it to stop Alex please make it stop” he begged clinging to his boyfriend. Alex kissed his forehead “ignore what you brain says and go with your heart” he wispered “it will allways keep you safe” .
Once Ed had drifted off to sleep in Alex’ arms the turned to Teddy and Ali “whats going on with you to anyway?” he asked. Ali pulled away from kissing Teddy “he said no secrets anymore so here we are no secrets im bisexual so is he i guess so now i am snogging him, its pretty simple really” he explained “a bit like you” he said cheekily. Alex through an empty beer can at him spilling the last few drops over Alis hair who huffed and stalked off to wash it out. Alex’ looks over at Teddy who is watching the door Ali exited from “it was a good idea Teds” he said “i guess it really did get things out in the open” he smirked nodding to the returning Ali, Teddy smiled “i know, that was the idea” he grinned widely as Ali sat down on his lap getting himself comfortable. Dan spoke up “so i guess everythings worked out for the best. WHO WANTS BEER” he screamed.