In which I plea for H50 fandom to stop being so douchey

[tailoredshirt]

So...fandom

Comments

[tailoredshirt]

Thanks for your thoughts! I completely agree with this: Fandom is a social activity, and like anything that involves other people, what we say and do within the group affects it, with or without our conscious permission. That's essentially what I was trying to say, much less eloquently. I am also guilty of the toxic negativity, and realized I was doing it recently with another show, and that I either needed to stop watching or just shut up and let other people enjoy it. It's very easy to slip into that mindset, especially if other people in fandom are doing the same thing

[littlepunkryo]

I'm honestly not sure what to do, either. Because everyone has basically created this wonderful hostile environment where instead of leaving each other alone and letting people enjoy the parts of the show they enjoy, it's just constant negativity over everything. Having an opinion is all well and good but when you are spending week after week complaining about the same things, it gets tiring to deal with for anyone who's not you. Yes, it's all opinions, but a fandom full of squee has a very different feel to one that's full of people who are bitter and angry and making damn sure everyone else knows it, so of course people get tired of it. It's exhausting to be in even if you agree with what people are saying (which I do for a lot of things). It's just not a pleasant environment, and that's before all of the passive-aggressive crap that gets wrapped in "just my opinion." It makes a fandom toxic, it makes people want to leave, and it actually does affect how you watch the show (because I've been through this before and I actually liked

[tailoredshirt]

It's exhausting to be in even if you agree with what people are saying (which I do for a lot of things). It's just not a pleasant environment, and that's before all of the passive-aggressive crap that gets wrapped in "just my opinion." It makes a fandom toxic

Yep, absolutely. I'm not a fan of Adam/Kono for pretty much the same reason as most people who don't like them (lack of foundation, how it's affected Kono's characterization, etc.) but I know a lot of people do like A/K so I don't talk about it much, because why keep rehashing the same reasons right in their faces all the time? I find that kind of frustrating anyway because I have to keep repeating myself, and tbh, I'd rather talk about other things.

And I'm sure it goes both ways and dealing with people who are happy when you're not is probably tough, but I'm only on the other side so I can't speak to that in this fandom. I can understand that, actually, and I've felt the same way about things when the fandom celebrates something I hate (usually it's something offensive like

[littlepunkryo]

Yep. Sometimes, it's just not a good time to talk about something, and part of having an opinion, imo, is also knowing when to keep it to yourself. You're in a fandom space, it belongs to everyone, and what you say does affect the atmosphere. Nobody is saying "shut up all the time" but we don't always need to hear every single time you don't like something. Especially if it's part ten million and everyone is already well aware, you know?

[jesseofthenorth]

As has been stated more eloquently (in above comments), for me the whole thing has boiled down to the fact that I need to take care of myself and I NEED fandom to be my happy place. Hate does not make me happy. SO. If I have a hater on my flist, and they keep on hating? They're gone. I still go on twitter during eps. I still really like the show. But. I am pretty careful about the fic I read, I don't follow any more 50 comms. And I still manage to get something I need from 50 fandom. I think for me, in all my fandoms, it has come down to enjoying myself in select spaces that work for me and filtering out 90% of fandom noise.
Some days it feels like a poor compromise.

[tailoredshirt]

Your thoughts are my thoughts. It's a compromise I wish I didn't have to make, hence this post. But I think I need to take everyone's advice and cut out the things making me unhappy. It just feels personal when it's someone I like talking to most of the time. :( But mental health has to come first and I probably need to accept that there's not really much I can do to avoid compromising one thing for another.

[gothikmaus]

I've read similar posts written by different people on my flist lately and it made me think that I must be really good at avoiding all the hate and wank, because I haven't noticed an escalation in negative comments. Or maybe it's just because I only follow a handful of people (and most of them are slash-friendly). I remember reading a lot more negative comments last year, when Lori was still part of the picture.

As for the "why", well, I think everything tends to become exaggerated online: people post quickly, type the first thing that comes to their mind and are happy to rant and get things off their chest. They can get away with being aggressive because no one gets hurt and so they channel their frustrations against that thing/person.

Personally, I like both Steve/Danny and Steve/Catherine. And I'm enough of a realist to know that Steve/Danny will never happen in canon. Unless it's the very last episode and no one has anything to lose anymore and Plenkov feels generous and wants to give us one last present. ;)

[mcgarrett]

I agree so much with so much of what is posted here. Ugh, I haven't even watched this week's ep because I keep seeing so much negativity. To be completely honest, I actually don't feel compelled to at all. I really just am done with everything