I'm proud that you're trying to do the right thing, Lia.
But telling this to your father won't change how he feels. He seems to be in permanent denial as to the real situation you are in. To him, it seems, his world has been rigorously defined and will not be changed, even if he has to ignore reality to do so. He is living in his own fantasy world and lashes out at you when you bring Real Life into his sandbox. He really needs professional therapy to deal with his inability to see the world outside the one he has created. He might have done so out of fear or a need for control, but the effects of that on you are devastating.
Stepping out of my gender for a moment, I can say that the world of pornography/prostitution is driven by young girls desperate for money and male attention they never received. That you are resisting the siren's call of easy money and positive (BUT FALSE) attention is VERY GOOD. I am VERY proud of you, Lia. VERY. Keep resisting. It's wonderful that you are maintaining your dignity! Nothing that the rape did to your body can affect your strong spirit and you're not letting it change the good person that you are. This is excellent.
Keep fighting. The 20's are a shitty time, and as I get ready to get into the 30's, I can honestly look back and say I never want to relive ages 22 to 28 again. It's rough. But keep fighting.
Yep but at the same time, I think you should, just because you can. Even if he never responds, the satisfaction is in the writing at the very least... if you'll feel good having sent it then do it.
Otherwise, print it out and save the thing, because it's an AWESOME letter.
But telling this to your father won't change how he feels. He seems to be in permanent denial as to the real situation you are in. To him, it seems, his world has been rigorously defined and will not be changed, even if he has to ignore reality to do so. He is living in his own fantasy world and lashes out at you when you bring Real Life into his sandbox. He really needs professional therapy to deal with his inability to see the world outside the one he has created. He might have done so out of fear or a need for control, but the effects of that on you are devastating.
Stepping out of my gender for a moment, I can say that the world of pornography/prostitution is driven by young girls desperate for money and male attention they never received. That you are resisting the siren's call of easy money and positive (BUT FALSE) attention is VERY GOOD. I am VERY proud of you, Lia. VERY. Keep resisting. It's wonderful that you are maintaining your dignity! Nothing that the rape did to your body can affect your strong spirit and you're not letting it change the good person that you are. This is excellent.
Keep fighting. The 20's are a shitty time, and as I get ready to get into the 30's, I can honestly look back and say I never want to relive ages 22 to 28 again. It's rough. But keep fighting.
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Otherwise, print it out and save the thing, because it's an AWESOME letter.
Reply
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