Done with flakey girl friends!
Had a girl friend cancel on a get-together today. Yesterday my get-together with another girlfriend was postponed by almost an hour (because she could not be ready on time). I spent that hour visiting yet another girl friend with whom I have a policy of only seeing spontaneously because she flaked on every single thing that we planned for the last seven times in a row. Two nights before that I went to a dinner party where the hostess is usually about an hour late when *she* goes somewhere.
Now, I adore these flakey friends of mine. They all tend to (with few exceptions) be the artist/creative/brilliant/ADHD types that I find so fascinating. I get them, they get me, they're entertaining. And lord knows I've been late a time or three.
BUT
I can't help but notice that they all manage to show up for the things that are truly important to them. Girlfriend #1 holds down a job and motherhood. Girlfriend #2 obviously made it on time to many many other appointments in a row because she just had very complicated medical procedures done and you know how those doctors don't wait. Girlfriend #3 earns six figures a year managing a relationship with her company's VIP clients and I'm sure she doesn't miss *their* appointments. Another flake (who I have lost touch with) has run a successful graphic design business for twenty years. It's not the occasional omission that I mind so much, it's that consistently, I can NOT count on these women. Also that I am having this problem with every single one of my friends. Clearly I have befriended too many of the same kind and/or I am mis-managing them.
So I am done with flakey girlfriends. Going forward, any new girl friend has to be reliable. I have about as many flakes in my bowl as I can handle. Furthermore, I no longer want to hang out with fuck-ups who are not in control of their lives or in the habit of keeping commitments.
Now, I adore these flakey friends of mine. They all tend to (with few exceptions) be the artist/creative/brilliant/ADHD types that I find so fascinating. I get them, they get me, they're entertaining. And lord knows I've been late a time or three.
BUT
I can't help but notice that they all manage to show up for the things that are truly important to them. Girlfriend #1 holds down a job and motherhood. Girlfriend #2 obviously made it on time to many many other appointments in a row because she just had very complicated medical procedures done and you know how those doctors don't wait. Girlfriend #3 earns six figures a year managing a relationship with her company's VIP clients and I'm sure she doesn't miss *their* appointments. Another flake (who I have lost touch with) has run a successful graphic design business for twenty years. It's not the occasional omission that I mind so much, it's that consistently, I can NOT count on these women. Also that I am having this problem with every single one of my friends. Clearly I have befriended too many of the same kind and/or I am mis-managing them.
So I am done with flakey girlfriends. Going forward, any new girl friend has to be reliable. I have about as many flakes in my bowl as I can handle. Furthermore, I no longer want to hang out with fuck-ups who are not in control of their lives or in the habit of keeping commitments.