So...Tired... (Dear Diary)
[entry code: Dear Diary]
I...am tired.
Always tired.
I tell my coworkers and boss that it's my personality. This is actually approaching truth: one's 'personality' is defined as persistent traits, ones that remain relatively constant throughout the years. One's personality doesn't usually change. One may be happy or sad do to events, but the overall personality prevails.
Why am I tired?
That's not rhetorical, nor is it a segue. I have no idea. ...well, my dad once suggested (in jest) that we may have chronic fatigue syndrome (and that some study announced over NPR that, since it is correlated with a particular DNA sequence - i.e. 'gene' - that this syndrome is legit).
Anyway, I realized that I hadn't written awhile ago ... I think I realized it last week? And still I haven't started really writing. Oi! I need...a purpose. Direction. One consideration is to 'screw' money and just keep doing what I'm doing, jumping from nameless job to nameless job, and focus on 'writing' now. This would be easier, as yet again I've found myself with no time to complete PhD applications. This was why I was supposed to start in April...but first I was busy with work (starting a school year [in March], searching for a new job, applying to a new job, being told my application was pointless as the whole school-district wasn't even hiring, applying to ANOTHER set of jobs, going home to Arizona, and then coming back.
I got some work done while in Arizona...but when I got back I was just too busy and tired again. And yes, I was tired in Arizona too. It's persistent.
More later. I am re-dedicating myself.
I...am tired.
Always tired.
I tell my coworkers and boss that it's my personality. This is actually approaching truth: one's 'personality' is defined as persistent traits, ones that remain relatively constant throughout the years. One's personality doesn't usually change. One may be happy or sad do to events, but the overall personality prevails.
Why am I tired?
That's not rhetorical, nor is it a segue. I have no idea. ...well, my dad once suggested (in jest) that we may have chronic fatigue syndrome (and that some study announced over NPR that, since it is correlated with a particular DNA sequence - i.e. 'gene' - that this syndrome is legit).
Anyway, I realized that I hadn't written awhile ago ... I think I realized it last week? And still I haven't started really writing. Oi! I need...a purpose. Direction. One consideration is to 'screw' money and just keep doing what I'm doing, jumping from nameless job to nameless job, and focus on 'writing' now. This would be easier, as yet again I've found myself with no time to complete PhD applications. This was why I was supposed to start in April...but first I was busy with work (starting a school year [in March], searching for a new job, applying to a new job, being told my application was pointless as the whole school-district wasn't even hiring, applying to ANOTHER set of jobs, going home to Arizona, and then coming back.
I got some work done while in Arizona...but when I got back I was just too busy and tired again. And yes, I was tired in Arizona too. It's persistent.
More later. I am re-dedicating myself.