(no subject)
I'm thinking of one thing lately, something Nietzsche wrote. He had said himself down one day and thought about how to do the worst thing to someone, and found that it is to put the person to shame. Nietzsche also thought about what he'd love most in other people, and he found that it was his own hope.
This is quite true. When I love someone then it's usually always in a hopeful way. In one situation in my life I thought I'd love someone because it all had to do with death. I thought I'd been to the point of no return. But even there it was hope what I loved, tiny at first, then getting bigger and bigger. In fact my hope became a dragon, it was so ready to inflated by every shred of optimistic imagination I came to have.
I wonder what the hope was that apostle Paul wrote about. I don't think anymore it was this shrill hope I had some years ago, that my 'finding' of God could be used to change the world, that God will save anyone and will create a wonderful world. I have no idea how many will be saved, and it is true that Christ came that the world might be saved ... but only might be saved.
Though I don't really feel as if theology is what I need here. Loving without hope .. is that even possible? I can bear some pain .. but I cannot stand it when I feel sick in loving. And when the lines blur from what is included in loving and what is excluded. And what is love, and what is 'just' charity? Charity can also be a big thing, and in fact one aspect of having charity is to have loving kindness. Again, theology. The problem with theology is that even a great criminal could be a bright theologian. Most know enough of what love looks like .. but do they know what it is? Does anyone? I have Christ on the cross. Reading only one of the Gospels isn't enough. One account records Christ saying "It is finished.". Another says "My God, my God, why have you left me?". One says "Father, in your hands I command my spirit.". And the last one records how Christ says to John and his mother Mary that Mary was to be John's mother now and John Mary's son. Love as going through anything to have the best result. Love as going into a situation where you loose God. Love as giving oneself to God ultimately. Love as making one's testament. And of course Christ's words "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.".
I guess it has to deal a lot with Christ being God incarnated in a human. Being a human is to a great part a becoming. Sure, Christ had the mission to go to the cross as a sacrifice for us. He was assured success. But still He HAD to have within Him a reason to forgive. Was it really easy? In my past, in my life, I guess I have said Sorry a thousand times in daily life. It becomes habitual. The word for apology, in german, is "Entschulding" ... literally translated as "un-indebtment". I run through the streets and look for something else and run over an old man. I help him up and say "Entschuldigung". I also say "It does me grief" ... habitually, all the same, like anyone else I guess.
I finish this with concluding that love needs to be suffering. Of course it may have bright days where the inside is clear and calm and at peace. And God, now, doesn't suffer anymore, I think. And I don't think suffering should really be sought all the time, for cleaning one's love or so. But it may not be rejected, it's just too much of a vital part of loving, a sign of something inarguably honest in your love.
This is quite true. When I love someone then it's usually always in a hopeful way. In one situation in my life I thought I'd love someone because it all had to do with death. I thought I'd been to the point of no return. But even there it was hope what I loved, tiny at first, then getting bigger and bigger. In fact my hope became a dragon, it was so ready to inflated by every shred of optimistic imagination I came to have.
I wonder what the hope was that apostle Paul wrote about. I don't think anymore it was this shrill hope I had some years ago, that my 'finding' of God could be used to change the world, that God will save anyone and will create a wonderful world. I have no idea how many will be saved, and it is true that Christ came that the world might be saved ... but only might be saved.
Though I don't really feel as if theology is what I need here. Loving without hope .. is that even possible? I can bear some pain .. but I cannot stand it when I feel sick in loving. And when the lines blur from what is included in loving and what is excluded. And what is love, and what is 'just' charity? Charity can also be a big thing, and in fact one aspect of having charity is to have loving kindness. Again, theology. The problem with theology is that even a great criminal could be a bright theologian. Most know enough of what love looks like .. but do they know what it is? Does anyone? I have Christ on the cross. Reading only one of the Gospels isn't enough. One account records Christ saying "It is finished.". Another says "My God, my God, why have you left me?". One says "Father, in your hands I command my spirit.". And the last one records how Christ says to John and his mother Mary that Mary was to be John's mother now and John Mary's son. Love as going through anything to have the best result. Love as going into a situation where you loose God. Love as giving oneself to God ultimately. Love as making one's testament. And of course Christ's words "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.".
I guess it has to deal a lot with Christ being God incarnated in a human. Being a human is to a great part a becoming. Sure, Christ had the mission to go to the cross as a sacrifice for us. He was assured success. But still He HAD to have within Him a reason to forgive. Was it really easy? In my past, in my life, I guess I have said Sorry a thousand times in daily life. It becomes habitual. The word for apology, in german, is "Entschulding" ... literally translated as "un-indebtment". I run through the streets and look for something else and run over an old man. I help him up and say "Entschuldigung". I also say "It does me grief" ... habitually, all the same, like anyone else I guess.
I finish this with concluding that love needs to be suffering. Of course it may have bright days where the inside is clear and calm and at peace. And God, now, doesn't suffer anymore, I think. And I don't think suffering should really be sought all the time, for cleaning one's love or so. But it may not be rejected, it's just too much of a vital part of loving, a sign of something inarguably honest in your love.