Pleasing No God
Pleasing no god - Sat. 8-28-2010
Never believed in gods. Or god for that matter. Why would anyone give up their free will. Why? It made no sense.
And it opened the door; wide and swinging on it's hinges; for anyone, thing, group, thinking, to just come in and take you over.
Grab you, bring you to / on your knees,
Beliefs are a weakness. And if you believe in the wrong thing, or THE wrong thing; the lie. Then you literally do yourself in.
Inadvertent suicide.
Ignorant suicide.
Call it what you want it's suicide none the less.
Slit your own throat.
I have been reminded yet again that Jesus Christ does not exist.
It's true, you get desperate.
Pray your ass off, despite the fact that you KNOW the truth, and you NEED to release this crutch.
You need release itself from all the pressure to undo, fix, ect. Things you have no control over.
…
But I digress, and my mind is threatening to wander off.
Coming back to topic, you pray to a lie, that you KNOW has been proven since your childhood, does NOT exist.
Begging, pleading.
VYING for an answer.
Some answer.
Even if it's a no.
…
But if it's a no (supplied from your own brain of course) then you get upset, and curse and scream. Damming the very “savior” who's supposed to be righting the situation.
But I digress again.
And you do all this. Pray to a god who's supposed to be omnipotent; in full knowledge of you and your situation to the point where this problem never should have arisen, much less you shouldn't have to bring it to his attention.
…
- Just a side note. If god wants us to treat him well. Like the “human being” he supposedly now is. WHY does he allow bad stuff to happen?
Why isn't he fixing it in the first place and making it so I can TREAT him like a friend. Instead of having to constantly come begging to him for everything.
I'm SICK of having to yell my brains out at him, all to no avail.
I'd rather (and especially when I was young) know him as a human being, the person that he is. His personality, what he believes, thinks, how he puts two and two together. … All of it.
I'd rather have him as a friend. A TRUE friend, then some fucker who doesn't give a shit.
…
But that's what family is isn't it. People who just don't give a fuck about you.
Especially when it counts.
__
But I digress again.
Sorry. There's so much to this, and I'm merely scraping the tip of the Mt. Everest.
I land on my crutches HARD, nearly breaking my arms.
And legs.
Since the damn things don't hold me up.
At all.
And again I'm disappointed.
No answer.
Nothing at all.
Just silence.
An emptiness.
Black sucking void of a black hole.
…
…
…
So since god has no answers for me.
I have no answers for him.
He doesn't care enough to communicate with me.
Make things better since he's so damn omnipotent, and knowing and all.
~SIGH!~
But in the end, you always turn back to your crutches.
Desperation literally sending you to your knees.
Begging the great silence to save you, your family members, and who and whatnot again.
( Hell even your own damn country, since it's going to shit).
And yet again, on this marry-go-round of abuse, you get nothing.
Nothing at all.
If there IS an answer it's always in the negative.
Things getting FAR worse in ways just odd, strange, and the like, yet medium to small. Or worse in so much larger ways; it's clear “Satan” has answered and heard you instead.
( Which I found is about the ONLY thing that happens when I pray; if I ever DO get an answer.)
that, or, your blatantly straight out told “no.”
That was the ONLY answer I've ever gotten from God.
I was in my early twenties, and praying my ASS OFF in the Community College Cafeteria for a boyfriend.
God actually answered me.
He said, “no.”
and that was it.
I was so enraged, I VYED for a why, and that he give me a boy friend.
He never answered, and never gave me any feeling that he was there. Listening to the rest of what I said.
…
To bad you can't scar god like he's scarred you.
I NEED DEEPLY and DESPERATELY to take revenge on god. Have him just … you know; the best revenge, after all these years, would be to literally have god become me; and for me to become god.
For Jesus Christ himself to be me, and know what it's like to be abandoned, or actually never known of, and tortured. Never believed by your own family, much less anyone else. Treated as I have been.
By people every one and thing around me.
See how HE likes it.
…
Having no education, knowledge, no Omnipotent, all knowing shit anymore. No miracles. Having to be powerless and to ignorant, incompetent, and / or just plain stupid to do anything, much less help yourself.
To weak to defend yourself, much less those around you.
…
And the worst of it all, I've had it TERRIBLE. But it's nothing compared to what other people have been through, and are going through now. Especially in second and third world countries.
…
And then what about all the poor people in the past?
What about them?
…
Just the fact that we have death at all shows there is no god.
And to compound that problem, what about the lives so bad so terrible, the people so bad off in one way or another, or all the way around, that death is actually an escape?
…
What say you then … “god.” ← mockingly.
So yeah.
I need to get off this crutch.
Release, RIP myself from the false belief again that Jesus Christ even exists.
For I am falling back on it, and despise him for it.
…
But in that ( what I just said ) shows how far I am already gone.
…
…
…
( I've been living to long with my mother and her false beliefs. This is TERRIBLE, terrible terrible.)
Never believed in gods. Or god for that matter. Why would anyone give up their free will. Why? It made no sense.
And it opened the door; wide and swinging on it's hinges; for anyone, thing, group, thinking, to just come in and take you over.
Grab you, bring you to / on your knees,
Beliefs are a weakness. And if you believe in the wrong thing, or THE wrong thing; the lie. Then you literally do yourself in.
Inadvertent suicide.
Ignorant suicide.
Call it what you want it's suicide none the less.
Slit your own throat.
I have been reminded yet again that Jesus Christ does not exist.
It's true, you get desperate.
Pray your ass off, despite the fact that you KNOW the truth, and you NEED to release this crutch.
You need release itself from all the pressure to undo, fix, ect. Things you have no control over.
…
But I digress, and my mind is threatening to wander off.
Coming back to topic, you pray to a lie, that you KNOW has been proven since your childhood, does NOT exist.
Begging, pleading.
VYING for an answer.
Some answer.
Even if it's a no.
…
But if it's a no (supplied from your own brain of course) then you get upset, and curse and scream. Damming the very “savior” who's supposed to be righting the situation.
But I digress again.
And you do all this. Pray to a god who's supposed to be omnipotent; in full knowledge of you and your situation to the point where this problem never should have arisen, much less you shouldn't have to bring it to his attention.
…
- Just a side note. If god wants us to treat him well. Like the “human being” he supposedly now is. WHY does he allow bad stuff to happen?
Why isn't he fixing it in the first place and making it so I can TREAT him like a friend. Instead of having to constantly come begging to him for everything.
I'm SICK of having to yell my brains out at him, all to no avail.
I'd rather (and especially when I was young) know him as a human being, the person that he is. His personality, what he believes, thinks, how he puts two and two together. … All of it.
I'd rather have him as a friend. A TRUE friend, then some fucker who doesn't give a shit.
…
But that's what family is isn't it. People who just don't give a fuck about you.
Especially when it counts.
__
But I digress again.
Sorry. There's so much to this, and I'm merely scraping the tip of the Mt. Everest.
I land on my crutches HARD, nearly breaking my arms.
And legs.
Since the damn things don't hold me up.
At all.
And again I'm disappointed.
No answer.
Nothing at all.
Just silence.
An emptiness.
Black sucking void of a black hole.
…
…
…
So since god has no answers for me.
I have no answers for him.
He doesn't care enough to communicate with me.
Make things better since he's so damn omnipotent, and knowing and all.
~SIGH!~
But in the end, you always turn back to your crutches.
Desperation literally sending you to your knees.
Begging the great silence to save you, your family members, and who and whatnot again.
( Hell even your own damn country, since it's going to shit).
And yet again, on this marry-go-round of abuse, you get nothing.
Nothing at all.
If there IS an answer it's always in the negative.
Things getting FAR worse in ways just odd, strange, and the like, yet medium to small. Or worse in so much larger ways; it's clear “Satan” has answered and heard you instead.
( Which I found is about the ONLY thing that happens when I pray; if I ever DO get an answer.)
that, or, your blatantly straight out told “no.”
That was the ONLY answer I've ever gotten from God.
I was in my early twenties, and praying my ASS OFF in the Community College Cafeteria for a boyfriend.
God actually answered me.
He said, “no.”
and that was it.
I was so enraged, I VYED for a why, and that he give me a boy friend.
He never answered, and never gave me any feeling that he was there. Listening to the rest of what I said.
…
To bad you can't scar god like he's scarred you.
I NEED DEEPLY and DESPERATELY to take revenge on god. Have him just … you know; the best revenge, after all these years, would be to literally have god become me; and for me to become god.
For Jesus Christ himself to be me, and know what it's like to be abandoned, or actually never known of, and tortured. Never believed by your own family, much less anyone else. Treated as I have been.
By people every one and thing around me.
See how HE likes it.
…
Having no education, knowledge, no Omnipotent, all knowing shit anymore. No miracles. Having to be powerless and to ignorant, incompetent, and / or just plain stupid to do anything, much less help yourself.
To weak to defend yourself, much less those around you.
…
And the worst of it all, I've had it TERRIBLE. But it's nothing compared to what other people have been through, and are going through now. Especially in second and third world countries.
…
And then what about all the poor people in the past?
What about them?
…
Just the fact that we have death at all shows there is no god.
And to compound that problem, what about the lives so bad so terrible, the people so bad off in one way or another, or all the way around, that death is actually an escape?
…
What say you then … “god.” ← mockingly.
So yeah.
I need to get off this crutch.
Release, RIP myself from the false belief again that Jesus Christ even exists.
For I am falling back on it, and despise him for it.
…
But in that ( what I just said ) shows how far I am already gone.
…
…
…
( I've been living to long with my mother and her false beliefs. This is TERRIBLE, terrible terrible.)