Heavy Heavy Heart
I watched two movies at the theatre today to take it easy and relax my way through today.
At the start of the second movie I had an emotional crisis. I thought with every fibre of my being, Why am I going back? I could just stay here and live. What do I have to go back for?
After the movie, with every step I took back to my hotel my feet kept getting heavier and heavier and the thoughts were weighing me down even more. I feel so strongly that I am to just stay here.
But, I can't. I am personally too structured to listen to my heart and just stay. There are so many things, visas, money, work, a place to stay. Yes, I could probably survive for a month or two but then what?
I have resigned myself to go back and prepare for my move. It will happen. It has to happen. I don't know what happened to me on this trip, but, I feel I have a purpose now. I am no longer surviving and just living, now, I want to LIVE.
I will be quitting my current job the very second an offer comes in. I will do this because in order to prepare to make the move overseas I need to be in a city. I need to be where I can get easy access to roads that will take me to my mini goals, like fingerprinting for my visa. It is a requirement that for all ancestory visa applicants that you must attend in person at an authorized facility to be fingerprinted and eye scanned or some other form of biometrics.
I have a good job here, but, I know now where I want to be and can stop searching. Now, I know the where and just have to get there, again.
I struggle with every letter of this to just stop writing pick up my bags and just start walking in any direction.
I am not one to cut and run, I will go back and do the manly thing. But, mark my words, I will be back here before this time next year.
I know it.
At the start of the second movie I had an emotional crisis. I thought with every fibre of my being, Why am I going back? I could just stay here and live. What do I have to go back for?
After the movie, with every step I took back to my hotel my feet kept getting heavier and heavier and the thoughts were weighing me down even more. I feel so strongly that I am to just stay here.
But, I can't. I am personally too structured to listen to my heart and just stay. There are so many things, visas, money, work, a place to stay. Yes, I could probably survive for a month or two but then what?
I have resigned myself to go back and prepare for my move. It will happen. It has to happen. I don't know what happened to me on this trip, but, I feel I have a purpose now. I am no longer surviving and just living, now, I want to LIVE.
I will be quitting my current job the very second an offer comes in. I will do this because in order to prepare to make the move overseas I need to be in a city. I need to be where I can get easy access to roads that will take me to my mini goals, like fingerprinting for my visa. It is a requirement that for all ancestory visa applicants that you must attend in person at an authorized facility to be fingerprinted and eye scanned or some other form of biometrics.
I have a good job here, but, I know now where I want to be and can stop searching. Now, I know the where and just have to get there, again.
I struggle with every letter of this to just stop writing pick up my bags and just start walking in any direction.
I am not one to cut and run, I will go back and do the manly thing. But, mark my words, I will be back here before this time next year.
I know it.