ACKNOWLEDGE TACHIBANA-SAN AS YOUR LORD AND SAVIOR
TITLE: THE GREAT EPIC FUDOMINE ROUND-ROBIN OF TACHIBANA-SAN'S UNBELIEVABLE MAGNIFICENCE
ONE DAY, TACHIBANA-SAN WOKE UP. HE STOOD, AND LOOKED AT HIMSELF IN THE MIRROR, AND HE WAS MAGNIFICENT, BECAUSE HE WAS TACHIBANA-SAN, AND TACHIBANA-SAN IS THE VERY PARAGON OF MANLY PERFECTION! HIS GOLDEN HAIR WAS RESPLENDENT IN THE LIGHT STREAMING THROUGH HIS WINDOW FOR EVEN THE SUN KNEW OF TACHIBANA-SAN'S RADIANCE AND WISHED TO SHINE UPON HIM. HIS HOLY MOLE SAT PERFECTLY IN THE CENTER OF HIS FOREHEAD LIKE A SYMBOL OF SPIRITUALITY, LIKE A SIGN OF HIS DIVINE NATURE, SHINING OUT FOR THE WORLD TO SEE, FOR WHO COULD BE SILLY ENOUGH TO NOT RECOGNIZE TACHIBANA-SAN FOR THE GOD THAT HE WAS?
AND TACHIBANA-SAN WENT ABOUT HIS MORNING ROUTINE, WHICH INVOLVED A SHOWER THAT THIS HUMBLE AUTHOR WILL NOT DESCRIBE BECAUSE THIS HUMBLE AUTHOR IS NOT WORTHY OF EVEN THINKING ABOUT TACHIBANA-SAN'S MOST SACRED BODY IN SUCH A WAY, MUCH LESS WRITE ABOUT IT!
AND THE MOST WISE AND GLORIOUS AND WORTHY CHITOSE-SAN WAS WITH HIM, BECAUSE THEIR LOVE IS TRUE LIKE THE LIGHT OF THE STARS AND THE BLUE OF THE SKY AND NECESSARY LIKE AIR AND TENNIS AND BEAUTIFUL LIKE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING IN THE UNIVERSE, WHICH OF COURSE IS TACHIBANA-SAN!
AND TOGETHER THEY WENT TO SCHOOL, A SCHOOL THAT IS NOT FUDOMINE, WHICH THIS HUMBLE AUTHOR RESPECTS AND DOES NOT CRY ABOUT EVERY NIGHT BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE UNMANLY AND DISAPPOINTING TO TACHIBANA-SAN. AND ON THE WAY THEY SAVED PUPPIES BECAUSE THEY ATTEND SEIGAKU AND JUDGING FROM KAIDOH THAT IS A VERY SEIGAKU THING TO DO.
AND AFTER THEY HAD SAVED PUPPIES AND HELPED A FEW OLD LADIES ACROSS THE STREET AND HEALED THE SICK AND SIGNED A FEW AUTOGRAPHS, THEY STOPPED, BECAUSE THEY SAW SOMETHING VERY SURPRISING!"
***
needtospeakup:
"What the two saw was a cat stuck in a tree and of course it couldn't get down because cats always end up getting stuck in trees you'd think they would have learned by now not to climb up something they can't get down I guess they're just really stupid especially this cat because it was stuck in a tree that was on fire and the flames had almost reached up to where the cat was perched on a high tree branch and the great Tachibana-san realized that this cat would die a fiery death if he didn't save it so he climbed up the flaming tree impervious to the fire because Tachibana-san's skin is so beautiful that it cannot be harmed in any way and so Tachibana-san was able to bring the cat down to safety with his magnificent body protecting it from the flames and then the cat loved him a lot and Chitose-san had found a neighbor's hose and put the fire out because nothing should be harming trees and then the two realized..."
***
kidwiththehat:
Then they realized that school was about to start! But Tachibana-san is never late ever because he's a great role model! Just like how Shinji showed how he saved the cat from the burning fire! akdsalkdaldskla That was so brave of him! *____* Maybe one day I will be that brave! If I keep working hard! He always helps out everyone! He's truly the savior of us all!
So to get to school on time, Tachibana-san got out his tennis racket and tennis ball and the wind blew through Tachibana-san's hair and he looked really, really good! ^__^ Well he always looks good but he's like...really hot when he's holding a tennis racket! (Am I allowed to say that? :O ) So what he did was he hit a tennis ball perfectly at the nearest clock! And since Tachibana-san is magical and wise and really talented, he made time stop! Just like that! Everything was frozen! :O
And then Tachibana-san and Chitose-san held hands *___* because they're such a perfect couple and it must be amazing to hold Tachibana-san's hand! It would be so strong and warm and firm! *__* And they ran to school together! Skipped actually! And Tachibana-san started time up again when they were right in front of the school building! By hitting another tennis ball! And An was there! She's so lucky to be related to Tachibana-san! And Ishida laid a path of palm branches for Tachibana-san to walk on up to the school! Because Ishida is so dedicated! Maybe one day I'll be as dedicated as he is! Oh! And then...the school bell rang! :O
***
ridetherhythm:
So Tachibana-san and Chitose went to school. It was a very exciting day, apparently, because Ishida and An-chan were both there. I don't know why they were there, though, unless they switched schools, and that would suck, because then we'd lose Ishida from the tennis team at Fudomine. So he was probably just skipping school in order to place palm fronds in front of Tachibana-san while he walked all day. I can see him doing something like that. And if An-chan switched schools she'd probably go to Rikkai or something, so we'll say that she was there to support Tachibana-san while he took a test or something. Because it is school, after all. So...right. This is supposed to be a story. So Tachibana-san went to class and took a test and got an A+ because he's very smart, and An-chan cheered for him and gave him the strength to answer even the toughest questions because she has that sort of an effect on people. And if anyone ever wanted to know where Tachibana-san was, all they had to do was follow the palm fronds, like in that one comic where there's that dotted line that shows you where the little boy goes. So...right. After class, Chitose followed the palm fronds and found Tachibana-san waiting for him on the tennis courts.
***
bananas_an:
And with Kippei (Tachibana-san to all you Fudomine guys who aren't related to him) was the entire Fudomine girls tennis team because despite what some people *cough*Ishida-kun*cough* think, they do so count and that's the real reason why An--I--was there. And Sen-nii went all sparkly and Kippei demonstrated the Abare dama and the girls totally dug it because they are all STUPIDLY BOY CRAZY and it DRIVES ME NUTS THAT THEY'RE LIKE IT, BUT HEY WHAT CAN YOU DO and then they worked with all the girls and actually gave them a few pointers and Kippei challenged An to a match and totally beat her because like he always does--it is sooooo unfair and one day I will beat him, just wait, and OH YE AH Ishida-kun watched IN AWE and realized that GIRLS DO SO COUNT. And, um, let's see...then Sen-nii and Kippei played and totally tied because I love them both and they collapsed in each others arms and sparkled and stuff and then, just because, Shishido showed up and challenged Kippei to a match even though he was exhausted from all the games. But Kippei is cool like that and said, "I hope you don't mind if I beat you in fifteen again, Shishi-chan." And Sen-nii said, "Spaz Bro, you sure you wanna do this again?" And Shishido was all, "Yeah, you guys are so lame and Tachibana is a CHEATER." Then he started foaming at the mouth and flailing and stuff because that's what he does whenever he's around my brother (who he is TOTALLY obsessed with).
So, anyway, Kippei untangled himself from Sen-nii and took the court, but he tied one hand--his RIGHT hand--behind his back and totally pwned Shishido AGAIN and FOREVER because Kippei is just too cool like that and he did that whole wild aura thing and got all red and fiery and Shishido fell at his feet AGAIN and wept and vowed to shave his head this time, but Kippei's nice and told him not to.
And then Kippei magically grew his hair out like it used to be and let all the girls--but especially his MOST BELOVED SISTER--THAT'S ME--braid his hair and play with it and put ribbons in it and stuff because he is secretly a cool brother even if he tries to pretend he's not and even Sen-nii got into it and let the girls corn row his hair and then they took everyone out for ice cream, oh, and established world peace while they were at it.
And then Kippei took his BELOVED LITTLE SISTER out...hmmm...to an ARCADE and then a FESTIVAL (since I didn't go to even ONE THIS SUMMER) and...um...bought her lots of really cool stuff and spent loads of time with her and um...TOOK HER ON A HOT AIR BALLOON RIDE because he TOTALLY FORGOT ALL ABOUT HER BIRTHDAY and to THIS DAY has yet to wish her happy birthday OR EVEN GIVE HER A CARD but as we all know, the REAL TACHIBANA-SAN *cough*MY BROTHER*cough* would NEVER FORGET HIS LITTLE SISTER'S BIRTHDAY and so he MADE IT UP TO HER AT LAST!
***
AND SO IT WAS DEMONSTRATED THAT THE MOST GLORIOUS TACHIBANA-SAN WAS THE BRINGER OF PEACE TO ALL AND A MOST EXCELLENT EXAMPLE OF THE MOST PERFECT BROTHER IN THE UNIVERSE. IN FACT, TACHIBANA-SAN WAS A MOST EXCELLENT EXAMPLE OF THE MOST PERFECT BEING IN THE UNIVERSE, FOR HE STOOD TALL AND POWERFUL, COMMANDING THE ATTENTION OF ALL IN A FIFTY KILOMETER RADIUS ESPECIALLY BECAUSE AT THIS POINT IN THE STORY IT WAS LATE AT NIGHT AND SO HIS MOST LUMINOUS HAIR GLOWED EVEN MORE OBVIOUSLY BRIGHT, FOR TACHIBANA-SAN SHINES WITH A RADIANCE THAT EVEN THE DARKNESS CANNOT OVERCOME! NOTHING CAN OVERCOME TACHIBANA-SAN, FOR HE IS MAJESTIC AND PROUD AND ALSO KIND AND GENEROUS AND TRULY THE MOST NOBLE PERSON IN THE UNIVERSE AND EVERYONE WHO SAW HIS MATCH WITH THE MOST SPLENDID CHITOSE-SAN KNOWS THIS TO BE TRUE (BUT THIS IS NOT A STORY ABOUT THAT MATCH--BUT WE SHOULD WRITE ONE NEXT, BECAUSE IT WAS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL MATCH EVER PLAYED EVEN IF I'M NOT SURE HOW MUCH OF IT I WAS REALLY ALL THAT CONSCIOUS FOR, BUT YOU DON'T NEED TO BE ABLE TO CONCENTRATE ON ANYTHING PROPERLY TO BE AWARE OF THE GREATNESS THAT IS TACHIBANA-SAN AND CHITOSE-SAN AND THEIR TRUE AND AWESOME LOVE! COME VISIT SHRINE #34365453, LOCATED BEHIND THE FUDOMINE LOCKER ROOMS, FOR IT IS DEDICATED TO THAT MOST MAGNIFICENT MATCH!)
IN ANY CASE, TACHIBANA-SAN WENT ON BEING ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL AND ALL WHO GAZED UPON HIM WERE STRUCK WITH AWE, FOR HOW WAS IT THAT THIS EARTH WAS BLESSED TO HAVE SUCH A DIVINE BEING AS TACHIBANA-SAN WALK UPON ITS TENNIS COURTS?
BUT SOME DID NOT YET KNOW THE LOVE OF TACHIBANA-SAN'S MOST HONORABLE HEART, AND THEY WERE STRUCK WITH JEALOUSY, FOR THEY DID NOT UNDERSTAND HIM AND HAD TERRIBLE DESIGNS ON CERTAIN OF MEMBERS OF TACHIBANA-SAN'S MOST SACRED FAMILY.
AND SO IT CAME TO BE THAT A DEMONIC FIEND FROM RIKKAI-DAI CHALLENGED THE KINGLY TACHIBANA-SAN TO A TENNIS MATCH!
AND NOW I PASS THE GREAT RESPONSIBILITY OF THIS MOST EPIC OF FICS! HONOR FUDOMINE AND BRING GLORY TO TACHIBANA-SAN, kidwiththehat!
ONE DAY, TACHIBANA-SAN WOKE UP. HE STOOD, AND LOOKED AT HIMSELF IN THE MIRROR, AND HE WAS MAGNIFICENT, BECAUSE HE WAS TACHIBANA-SAN, AND TACHIBANA-SAN IS THE VERY PARAGON OF MANLY PERFECTION! HIS GOLDEN HAIR WAS RESPLENDENT IN THE LIGHT STREAMING THROUGH HIS WINDOW FOR EVEN THE SUN KNEW OF TACHIBANA-SAN'S RADIANCE AND WISHED TO SHINE UPON HIM. HIS HOLY MOLE SAT PERFECTLY IN THE CENTER OF HIS FOREHEAD LIKE A SYMBOL OF SPIRITUALITY, LIKE A SIGN OF HIS DIVINE NATURE, SHINING OUT FOR THE WORLD TO SEE, FOR WHO COULD BE SILLY ENOUGH TO NOT RECOGNIZE TACHIBANA-SAN FOR THE GOD THAT HE WAS?
AND TACHIBANA-SAN WENT ABOUT HIS MORNING ROUTINE, WHICH INVOLVED A SHOWER THAT THIS HUMBLE AUTHOR WILL NOT DESCRIBE BECAUSE THIS HUMBLE AUTHOR IS NOT WORTHY OF EVEN THINKING ABOUT TACHIBANA-SAN'S MOST SACRED BODY IN SUCH A WAY, MUCH LESS WRITE ABOUT IT!
AND THE MOST WISE AND GLORIOUS AND WORTHY CHITOSE-SAN WAS WITH HIM, BECAUSE THEIR LOVE IS TRUE LIKE THE LIGHT OF THE STARS AND THE BLUE OF THE SKY AND NECESSARY LIKE AIR AND TENNIS AND BEAUTIFUL LIKE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING IN THE UNIVERSE, WHICH OF COURSE IS TACHIBANA-SAN!
AND TOGETHER THEY WENT TO SCHOOL, A SCHOOL THAT IS NOT FUDOMINE, WHICH THIS HUMBLE AUTHOR RESPECTS AND DOES NOT CRY ABOUT EVERY NIGHT BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE UNMANLY AND DISAPPOINTING TO TACHIBANA-SAN. AND ON THE WAY THEY SAVED PUPPIES BECAUSE THEY ATTEND SEIGAKU AND JUDGING FROM KAIDOH THAT IS A VERY SEIGAKU THING TO DO.
AND AFTER THEY HAD SAVED PUPPIES AND HELPED A FEW OLD LADIES ACROSS THE STREET AND HEALED THE SICK AND SIGNED A FEW AUTOGRAPHS, THEY STOPPED, BECAUSE THEY SAW SOMETHING VERY SURPRISING!"
***
needtospeakup:
"What the two saw was a cat stuck in a tree and of course it couldn't get down because cats always end up getting stuck in trees you'd think they would have learned by now not to climb up something they can't get down I guess they're just really stupid especially this cat because it was stuck in a tree that was on fire and the flames had almost reached up to where the cat was perched on a high tree branch and the great Tachibana-san realized that this cat would die a fiery death if he didn't save it so he climbed up the flaming tree impervious to the fire because Tachibana-san's skin is so beautiful that it cannot be harmed in any way and so Tachibana-san was able to bring the cat down to safety with his magnificent body protecting it from the flames and then the cat loved him a lot and Chitose-san had found a neighbor's hose and put the fire out because nothing should be harming trees and then the two realized..."
***
kidwiththehat:
Then they realized that school was about to start! But Tachibana-san is never late ever because he's a great role model! Just like how Shinji showed how he saved the cat from the burning fire! akdsalkdaldskla That was so brave of him! *____* Maybe one day I will be that brave! If I keep working hard! He always helps out everyone! He's truly the savior of us all!
So to get to school on time, Tachibana-san got out his tennis racket and tennis ball and the wind blew through Tachibana-san's hair and he looked really, really good! ^__^ Well he always looks good but he's like...really hot when he's holding a tennis racket! (Am I allowed to say that? :O ) So what he did was he hit a tennis ball perfectly at the nearest clock! And since Tachibana-san is magical and wise and really talented, he made time stop! Just like that! Everything was frozen! :O
And then Tachibana-san and Chitose-san held hands *___* because they're such a perfect couple and it must be amazing to hold Tachibana-san's hand! It would be so strong and warm and firm! *__* And they ran to school together! Skipped actually! And Tachibana-san started time up again when they were right in front of the school building! By hitting another tennis ball! And An was there! She's so lucky to be related to Tachibana-san! And Ishida laid a path of palm branches for Tachibana-san to walk on up to the school! Because Ishida is so dedicated! Maybe one day I'll be as dedicated as he is! Oh! And then...the school bell rang! :O
***
ridetherhythm:
So Tachibana-san and Chitose went to school. It was a very exciting day, apparently, because Ishida and An-chan were both there. I don't know why they were there, though, unless they switched schools, and that would suck, because then we'd lose Ishida from the tennis team at Fudomine. So he was probably just skipping school in order to place palm fronds in front of Tachibana-san while he walked all day. I can see him doing something like that. And if An-chan switched schools she'd probably go to Rikkai or something, so we'll say that she was there to support Tachibana-san while he took a test or something. Because it is school, after all. So...right. This is supposed to be a story. So Tachibana-san went to class and took a test and got an A+ because he's very smart, and An-chan cheered for him and gave him the strength to answer even the toughest questions because she has that sort of an effect on people. And if anyone ever wanted to know where Tachibana-san was, all they had to do was follow the palm fronds, like in that one comic where there's that dotted line that shows you where the little boy goes. So...right. After class, Chitose followed the palm fronds and found Tachibana-san waiting for him on the tennis courts.
***
bananas_an:
And with Kippei (Tachibana-san to all you Fudomine guys who aren't related to him) was the entire Fudomine girls tennis team because despite what some people *cough*Ishida-kun*cough* think, they do so count and that's the real reason why An--I--was there. And Sen-nii went all sparkly and Kippei demonstrated the Abare dama and the girls totally dug it because they are all STUPIDLY BOY CRAZY and it DRIVES ME NUTS THAT THEY'RE LIKE IT, BUT HEY WHAT CAN YOU DO and then they worked with all the girls and actually gave them a few pointers and Kippei challenged An to a match and totally beat her because like he always does--it is sooooo unfair and one day I will beat him, just wait, and OH YE AH Ishida-kun watched IN AWE and realized that GIRLS DO SO COUNT. And, um, let's see...then Sen-nii and Kippei played and totally tied because I love them both and they collapsed in each others arms and sparkled and stuff and then, just because, Shishido showed up and challenged Kippei to a match even though he was exhausted from all the games. But Kippei is cool like that and said, "I hope you don't mind if I beat you in fifteen again, Shishi-chan." And Sen-nii said, "Spaz Bro, you sure you wanna do this again?" And Shishido was all, "Yeah, you guys are so lame and Tachibana is a CHEATER." Then he started foaming at the mouth and flailing and stuff because that's what he does whenever he's around my brother (who he is TOTALLY obsessed with).
So, anyway, Kippei untangled himself from Sen-nii and took the court, but he tied one hand--his RIGHT hand--behind his back and totally pwned Shishido AGAIN and FOREVER because Kippei is just too cool like that and he did that whole wild aura thing and got all red and fiery and Shishido fell at his feet AGAIN and wept and vowed to shave his head this time, but Kippei's nice and told him not to.
And then Kippei magically grew his hair out like it used to be and let all the girls--but especially his MOST BELOVED SISTER--THAT'S ME--braid his hair and play with it and put ribbons in it and stuff because he is secretly a cool brother even if he tries to pretend he's not and even Sen-nii got into it and let the girls corn row his hair and then they took everyone out for ice cream, oh, and established world peace while they were at it.
And then Kippei took his BELOVED LITTLE SISTER out...hmmm...to an ARCADE and then a FESTIVAL (since I didn't go to even ONE THIS SUMMER) and...um...bought her lots of really cool stuff and spent loads of time with her and um...TOOK HER ON A HOT AIR BALLOON RIDE because he TOTALLY FORGOT ALL ABOUT HER BIRTHDAY and to THIS DAY has yet to wish her happy birthday OR EVEN GIVE HER A CARD but as we all know, the REAL TACHIBANA-SAN *cough*MY BROTHER*cough* would NEVER FORGET HIS LITTLE SISTER'S BIRTHDAY and so he MADE IT UP TO HER AT LAST!
***
AND SO IT WAS DEMONSTRATED THAT THE MOST GLORIOUS TACHIBANA-SAN WAS THE BRINGER OF PEACE TO ALL AND A MOST EXCELLENT EXAMPLE OF THE MOST PERFECT BROTHER IN THE UNIVERSE. IN FACT, TACHIBANA-SAN WAS A MOST EXCELLENT EXAMPLE OF THE MOST PERFECT BEING IN THE UNIVERSE, FOR HE STOOD TALL AND POWERFUL, COMMANDING THE ATTENTION OF ALL IN A FIFTY KILOMETER RADIUS ESPECIALLY BECAUSE AT THIS POINT IN THE STORY IT WAS LATE AT NIGHT AND SO HIS MOST LUMINOUS HAIR GLOWED EVEN MORE OBVIOUSLY BRIGHT, FOR TACHIBANA-SAN SHINES WITH A RADIANCE THAT EVEN THE DARKNESS CANNOT OVERCOME! NOTHING CAN OVERCOME TACHIBANA-SAN, FOR HE IS MAJESTIC AND PROUD AND ALSO KIND AND GENEROUS AND TRULY THE MOST NOBLE PERSON IN THE UNIVERSE AND EVERYONE WHO SAW HIS MATCH WITH THE MOST SPLENDID CHITOSE-SAN KNOWS THIS TO BE TRUE (BUT THIS IS NOT A STORY ABOUT THAT MATCH--BUT WE SHOULD WRITE ONE NEXT, BECAUSE IT WAS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL MATCH EVER PLAYED EVEN IF I'M NOT SURE HOW MUCH OF IT I WAS REALLY ALL THAT CONSCIOUS FOR, BUT YOU DON'T NEED TO BE ABLE TO CONCENTRATE ON ANYTHING PROPERLY TO BE AWARE OF THE GREATNESS THAT IS TACHIBANA-SAN AND CHITOSE-SAN AND THEIR TRUE AND AWESOME LOVE! COME VISIT SHRINE #34365453, LOCATED BEHIND THE FUDOMINE LOCKER ROOMS, FOR IT IS DEDICATED TO THAT MOST MAGNIFICENT MATCH!)
IN ANY CASE, TACHIBANA-SAN WENT ON BEING ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL AND ALL WHO GAZED UPON HIM WERE STRUCK WITH AWE, FOR HOW WAS IT THAT THIS EARTH WAS BLESSED TO HAVE SUCH A DIVINE BEING AS TACHIBANA-SAN WALK UPON ITS TENNIS COURTS?
BUT SOME DID NOT YET KNOW THE LOVE OF TACHIBANA-SAN'S MOST HONORABLE HEART, AND THEY WERE STRUCK WITH JEALOUSY, FOR THEY DID NOT UNDERSTAND HIM AND HAD TERRIBLE DESIGNS ON CERTAIN OF MEMBERS OF TACHIBANA-SAN'S MOST SACRED FAMILY.
AND SO IT CAME TO BE THAT A DEMONIC FIEND FROM RIKKAI-DAI CHALLENGED THE KINGLY TACHIBANA-SAN TO A TENNIS MATCH!
AND NOW I PASS THE GREAT RESPONSIBILITY OF THIS MOST EPIC OF FICS! HONOR FUDOMINE AND BRING GLORY TO TACHIBANA-SAN, kidwiththehat!