Stress
Had a door-to-door religious speaker visit my place this morning. I was trying to be politely non-committal, he got a little bit pushy / preachy, and I suddenly found myself yelling at him before slamming the door in his face.
I have no idea how that happened. Like, literally. One moment I was just trying to think of a way to politely end the conversation and send him on his way, and the next moment I was so mad I was yelling and wanting to punch him in the face. What the hell?
Tired and stressed. Am pretty sure, in hind-sight, that I'm just tired and stressed. Work is stupidly crazy right now. I'm doing my job (Network Telecommunications), my old job due to a staffing shortage (Network Operations Center Technician), and covering the internal Help Desk because we currently don't have one (and the NOC is covering that). Most days right now I feel like I am getting nothing done. Every 10-15 minutes, no matter what I am working on, has to be set aside for the next emergency. Total headless chicken syndrome, in an environment with new management who is clearly taking a close look at everyone to see whom is actually producing and who is dead weight.
After lots of poking, prodding, and conversation the family has decided to sell off one of the homes owned by the trust, with the intention of using that money to pay off all the back taxes, needed repairs, city fines, and everything else that is financially plaguing us. As part of this "paying off all the debts" bit, I am supposedly going to get paid back all the money I've personally put into all of this in the last two years... which is roughly $50,000.00. Every month I'm forking out $850 or more to help cover family trust and my mother's personal expenses. If I wasn't paying this, I would have finally reached my goal of being debt free a couple of years ago, but am still a couple of thousand away from that today.
Tired and stressed. There's probably more to this, but I think this covers the biggest part of it.
I have no idea how that happened. Like, literally. One moment I was just trying to think of a way to politely end the conversation and send him on his way, and the next moment I was so mad I was yelling and wanting to punch him in the face. What the hell?
Tired and stressed. Am pretty sure, in hind-sight, that I'm just tired and stressed. Work is stupidly crazy right now. I'm doing my job (Network Telecommunications), my old job due to a staffing shortage (Network Operations Center Technician), and covering the internal Help Desk because we currently don't have one (and the NOC is covering that). Most days right now I feel like I am getting nothing done. Every 10-15 minutes, no matter what I am working on, has to be set aside for the next emergency. Total headless chicken syndrome, in an environment with new management who is clearly taking a close look at everyone to see whom is actually producing and who is dead weight.
After lots of poking, prodding, and conversation the family has decided to sell off one of the homes owned by the trust, with the intention of using that money to pay off all the back taxes, needed repairs, city fines, and everything else that is financially plaguing us. As part of this "paying off all the debts" bit, I am supposedly going to get paid back all the money I've personally put into all of this in the last two years... which is roughly $50,000.00. Every month I'm forking out $850 or more to help cover family trust and my mother's personal expenses. If I wasn't paying this, I would have finally reached my goal of being debt free a couple of years ago, but am still a couple of thousand away from that today.
Tired and stressed. There's probably more to this, but I think this covers the biggest part of it.