Personal Post: Animals and Children
One of the things I have never understood, even prior to becoming a mother, is the idea that children = kicking animals to the curb. I've seen it a fair amount in my lifetime, and it always baffles me. In the parenting communities I'm a member of, it's often dismissed as no big deal. Fluffy bares her canines at the toddler pulling her tail? Comfort the kiddo and find Fluffy a new home seems to be the conventional wisdom.
Truthfully, it makes me angry. I can't see giving Savannah or Little Bit up because I failed to raise my child in how to properly interact with animals. In fact, I find it to be one of the most morally reprehensible "solutions" to a problem that doesn't have to exist.
I realize children are work. I realize animals are work. Getting them to get along is also work, but if you aren't willing to do it, you should never have taken on the responsibility of one, let alone both. I feel like when you adopt a dog or a cat, and you bring it into your home for a number of years, you've entered a covenant with them. You've agreed to be responsible for them. Sometimes, those circumstances change, and I understand that.
I gave Savannah up before. I did it for the right reasons, but it was the wrong decision. And when she came back to me, I promised I would never abandon her again, and I haven't. It hasn't always been easy, because she's getting cantankerous in her old age, and her medical conditions are expensive. She sheds like crazy and doesn't get along well with most other dogs. At the end of the day, however, it comes down to how much work I'm willing to put into her behavior.
Across the board, I think my dogs are pretty well-behaved. My dad and I worked together to train them, and while they have their annoying quirks, for the most part, I wouldn't change things about them. It helped that they have a palatable desire to please--we worked with both of them to acclimate to Phoenix's birth, and Savannah especially is good with children. These days, I spend a lot of my time working with Hayden on how to approach an animal and interact with them. He's good with Savannah, but he still has trouble understanding that Little Bit isn't a toy he can just pick up.
Not long ago, B's sister Lizzy asked me when I would be getting rid of the dogs after Sephie's arrival. The very question offended me, because in addition to revealing Lizzy doesn't know me very well, my dogs aren't just pieces of property to be tossed out in favor of the latest, greatest model. They are family members, and my responsibility to them is just as pronounced and important as my responsibility to Sephie. I admit, it's a different responsibility, but nevertheless as apparent.
B doesn't understand my devotion to the dogs. He likes them well enough and admits that they've taught him animals have personality, but of his own accord, he'd never bother. Even though he doesn't quite get it, he remains supportive. He's paid for their medical care and their dog food, and defended our involvement with them to critics. He's backed me up when I've disciplined Hayden for disrespecting them and participated in "training" Hayden how to properly behave around them.
I guess it just makes me sad when I hear of formerly devout animal lovers deciding their furry friends are no longer important to the family unit. When Little Bit and Savannah die, something will be missing from our family.
Truthfully, it makes me angry. I can't see giving Savannah or Little Bit up because I failed to raise my child in how to properly interact with animals. In fact, I find it to be one of the most morally reprehensible "solutions" to a problem that doesn't have to exist.
I realize children are work. I realize animals are work. Getting them to get along is also work, but if you aren't willing to do it, you should never have taken on the responsibility of one, let alone both. I feel like when you adopt a dog or a cat, and you bring it into your home for a number of years, you've entered a covenant with them. You've agreed to be responsible for them. Sometimes, those circumstances change, and I understand that.
I gave Savannah up before. I did it for the right reasons, but it was the wrong decision. And when she came back to me, I promised I would never abandon her again, and I haven't. It hasn't always been easy, because she's getting cantankerous in her old age, and her medical conditions are expensive. She sheds like crazy and doesn't get along well with most other dogs. At the end of the day, however, it comes down to how much work I'm willing to put into her behavior.
Across the board, I think my dogs are pretty well-behaved. My dad and I worked together to train them, and while they have their annoying quirks, for the most part, I wouldn't change things about them. It helped that they have a palatable desire to please--we worked with both of them to acclimate to Phoenix's birth, and Savannah especially is good with children. These days, I spend a lot of my time working with Hayden on how to approach an animal and interact with them. He's good with Savannah, but he still has trouble understanding that Little Bit isn't a toy he can just pick up.
Not long ago, B's sister Lizzy asked me when I would be getting rid of the dogs after Sephie's arrival. The very question offended me, because in addition to revealing Lizzy doesn't know me very well, my dogs aren't just pieces of property to be tossed out in favor of the latest, greatest model. They are family members, and my responsibility to them is just as pronounced and important as my responsibility to Sephie. I admit, it's a different responsibility, but nevertheless as apparent.
B doesn't understand my devotion to the dogs. He likes them well enough and admits that they've taught him animals have personality, but of his own accord, he'd never bother. Even though he doesn't quite get it, he remains supportive. He's paid for their medical care and their dog food, and defended our involvement with them to critics. He's backed me up when I've disciplined Hayden for disrespecting them and participated in "training" Hayden how to properly behave around them.
I guess it just makes me sad when I hear of formerly devout animal lovers deciding their furry friends are no longer important to the family unit. When Little Bit and Savannah die, something will be missing from our family.