Romania journal excerpts
Okay...I decided tonight that I just need to sit down and do this. Or at least start to. So I'm sitting here with my journal and I'm gonna try to filter out the highlights, starting from the very beginning. My 40-day journey began on June 30th, even though we didn't leave until July 2nd. My team leader, Chris, gave us a list of 40 scripture passages as a guiding quiet time plan from June 30th until August 8th (when the last of our team would return home). On the first day, I just reflected on the passage a little and wrote a prayer: "Lord, prepare my heart!"
Reminder: the following are only excerpts from some of my journal entries; so I apologize if it doesn't flow perfectly...I just wanna give you a glimpse into ALL that happened. Oh, and also...there's a lot of stuff about Curt in here, too...I'm not gonna put EVERYTHING I wrote about him, but it's still a lot. I hope he doesn't mind my sharing it with you. :)
Here's the highlights from the first eight days or so:
Day 2 (7/1/07): Ephesians 3:14-21
This prayer Paul offers is pretty heavy. I can hardly begin to imagine what my life, and my witness, would be like if I could have this strength through Christ in my heart. I think I'd be a lot better at sharing my faith boldly.
Lord...Father...I long for Your Spirit to dwell in my inner being. I need that strength so I may be a light and an example of Your love as I serve in Romania. Help me to be in tune with Your voice.... Speak to me today.
Day 3 (7/2/07): Philippians 2:1-8 (on Christ's humility)
This passage begins with a bunch of "if" statements.... When I read this it reminds me of my repeated failure to recognize the truth in all of these statements. I DO have encouragement, comfort, and fellowship. But I forget to remember that SO often.... The "if" statements aren't really a question; there's no one who could say (no believer, that is) that they DON'T have any or all of this stuff. So the next verse is big when you approach it realizing what you HAVE. Now it's time to find out what you should DO in response to that:
2"Then make my joy complete by being like-minded..."
This verse is so appropriate today as I'm [going to meet with my team] to fly to Romania. It's about UNITY. There's a note in my NIV Study Bible that says that "like-minded" is: "Not uniformity in thought but the common disposition to work together and serve one another - the 'attitude' of Christ."
(later on Day 3)
...My excitement continues to grow as I am reuniting with my awesome teammates. When I got to APU today, it was like seeing my extended family again after a long time apart. I was SO happy to see each one of them. And it was fun being able to introduce them all to Curt. I'm really glad he was able to be the one to take me and send me off.... I am SO blessed to have him in my life -- he is unbelievably sweet and has been a huge encouragement.... I am going to miss him more than I think I have let on.
Lord, help me to grown my communication skills on this trip.
Day 4 (7/3/07): About an hour from landing in London
I feel 100% calm right now. Almost nonchalant, if that makes sense. Earlier when we were in LAX, a couple people were talking about how it didn't feel real yet, that we are going to Romania. I said I felt like I'm there already.
(later, flying over Budapest, Hungary)
We're getting so close! I'm still feeling very calm, not really antsy like I thought I'd be -- antsy with excitement, I mean. It's not that I'm NOT excited...I guess I am just totally there already in my heart, so now it's just a matter of waiting to get there physically.
Day 5 (7/4/07): Philippians 3:7-21
"For the sake of Christ." I need to remember this phrase in EVERYTHING I do during this trip -- whether it is interacting with a teammate, an EGM leader, or a Romanian kid, or even an airline worker. Whatever I think will benefit me is totally worthless if it is not Christ-centered.
Day 6 (7/5/07): 1 Timothy 4:12-16
"Set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith, and in purity."
So often I find myself either second-guessing myself, or using my youth as an excuse not to take control of my faith. I am reminded of Alex J., who is only like nine years old, and is so eager to share her faith and to live it out daily, even at school where her classmates have different beliefs or ideas. It amazes me. Why am I so slow to share my testimony or even to offer prayer and encouragement to someone hurting or in need?
(later that night)
First day at camp...awesome! ...I was so excited to see the kids. There are about 50, from ages 7-15. I am seriously in LOVE with all of them. I put on this huge poncho-looking sweater that was made of a bunch of knitted-together squares, and a girl found another one and put it on, then came to me and gave me a big hug and said, "We're sisters!" Her name is Salome, and she's 13. Basically my new best friend. :)
Day 7 (7/6/07): Luke 12:22-34 (Do not worry)
This passage reminds me that I don't need to worry about [our lost luggage or when it will arrive.] God is our provider and He has been so faithful this whole trip to provide just what we need, and He has kept us safe. Besides, "who by worrying can add a single hour to her life?" It's totally unproductive and destructive. Lord, help me today to depend completely on You. Let me feel Your warmth and Your holy presence, and lead me to do Your will in everything I say and do. Give me energy.... Direct my footsteps according to Your word; let no sin rule over me. (Psalm 119:133)
...Another girl I met yesterday is Mihaela. Her family lives in a tent, and they have no identity cards or papers. And in spite of her difficult life, she is SO full of joy. Her smile is infectious, and she loves to hold our hands and hug us. My heart breaks for her.
(end of the day)
Father, thank You for taking such good care of me. You are SO faithful. (Dumnezeu e credincios!) Help me to be more like You in everything; more each day. Amen.
Day 8 (7/7/07): Romans 15:1-9
"...May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify [God.]"
Lord, help me to find ways to build up my teammates -- both American and Hungarian. Bless all of us with endurance and encouragement, and a spirit of unity in Your name.... Help me to remember that everything I do ought to be done as an act of worship to You... You are the I AM; the beginning and the end. You are eternal. May I never forget this!
Expectations. I came here recognizing the probability that my expectations would not be the reality. But I was thinking of expectations like:
-everything will be perfect
-I will have fun 24/7
-nothing will go disastrously wrong
-I will stay healthy and safe
I didn't acknowledge the other expectations I was holding onto until they were totally crushed...like:
-everyone will speak Romanian
-all of the kids are homeless or orphans
-the weather will be hot and humid
-I will not have trouble sleeping
-I won't get homesick
Thankfully, God has given me the ability to see these changed expectations and accept them with patience and peace. Even though the primary language spoken [at camp] is Hungarian, I am not discouraged, because I love to diversity in languages, and now instead of hearing only two, I get to hear a new and beautiful languages, and I marvel at the way it sounds.
The kids here are almost ALL from the Hungarian Baptist Church, and they have families and homes.... But that doesn't make our being here any less important or significant. We can still be a blessing and encouragement to them. Besides, our main purpose, I've come to realize, is to encourage the Hungarian leaders and help them develop the program which they have already made so well. So the fact that we can hang out with these kids and show them Christ's love in a different way than they might experience it at home or at church is a bonus.
Last night I finally slept about six hours. Up until then, I think I got about 12 hours of sleep (TOTAL) in five days, and most of that sleep was restless and sporadic. I didn't expect that. But God has shown me that He can and will provide me the energy and strength I need each day.
And as for the last ones I listed...I really thought that I wouldn't get homesick until at least halfway through the trip. But I think part of the reason I HAVE felt a little homesick is because of the weather.... Being freezing cold makes me think of how warm it is at home, and then I think of everyone and what they're doing -- swimming, barbecuing, spending time hanging out, going to movies...and I do miss that. I miss Curt, and my family, and Ashton and Erin. I miss the sun! But I think God has been using these feelings of homesickness to show me all the blessings I have, that I might be more thankful for them.
I'm so thankful for the people in my life. I am thankful for real toilets. For tennis shoes. For sunshine and warmth. I'm thankful for my church. I am also thankful for the things here that, though they may have been unexpected, are showing me God's beauty and grace every minute. I'm thankful for the rain. I'm thankful for the brief moments of blue sky and sunshine that come between the bursts of rain. I am thankful for missing luggage, because it helped me to recognize God's faithfulness in providing just what we needed. I'm thankful for Hungarian, because it is a language I had never heard before and is so much different than I imagined.
(end of the day)
...Almost the entire camp went for a walk/hike along the river, and it was simply breathtaking! I seriously didn't want to come home for a minute. I was ready to become a wilderness woman. :-P And while I was waiting for my turn to "bathe" tonight, I looked up at the sky and for the first time it was clear enough to see HUNDREDS of THOUSANDS of stars! Yay!
_____________________
Okay...it's way past the time I was planning on going to bed tonight. So I will have to get back to journal-transcribing another night. This should be enough for y'all for now, anyway. :)
Reminder: the following are only excerpts from some of my journal entries; so I apologize if it doesn't flow perfectly...I just wanna give you a glimpse into ALL that happened. Oh, and also...there's a lot of stuff about Curt in here, too...I'm not gonna put EVERYTHING I wrote about him, but it's still a lot. I hope he doesn't mind my sharing it with you. :)
Here's the highlights from the first eight days or so:
Day 2 (7/1/07): Ephesians 3:14-21
This prayer Paul offers is pretty heavy. I can hardly begin to imagine what my life, and my witness, would be like if I could have this strength through Christ in my heart. I think I'd be a lot better at sharing my faith boldly.
Lord...Father...I long for Your Spirit to dwell in my inner being. I need that strength so I may be a light and an example of Your love as I serve in Romania. Help me to be in tune with Your voice.... Speak to me today.
Day 3 (7/2/07): Philippians 2:1-8 (on Christ's humility)
This passage begins with a bunch of "if" statements.... When I read this it reminds me of my repeated failure to recognize the truth in all of these statements. I DO have encouragement, comfort, and fellowship. But I forget to remember that SO often.... The "if" statements aren't really a question; there's no one who could say (no believer, that is) that they DON'T have any or all of this stuff. So the next verse is big when you approach it realizing what you HAVE. Now it's time to find out what you should DO in response to that:
2"Then make my joy complete by being like-minded..."
This verse is so appropriate today as I'm [going to meet with my team] to fly to Romania. It's about UNITY. There's a note in my NIV Study Bible that says that "like-minded" is: "Not uniformity in thought but the common disposition to work together and serve one another - the 'attitude' of Christ."
(later on Day 3)
...My excitement continues to grow as I am reuniting with my awesome teammates. When I got to APU today, it was like seeing my extended family again after a long time apart. I was SO happy to see each one of them. And it was fun being able to introduce them all to Curt. I'm really glad he was able to be the one to take me and send me off.... I am SO blessed to have him in my life -- he is unbelievably sweet and has been a huge encouragement.... I am going to miss him more than I think I have let on.
Lord, help me to grown my communication skills on this trip.
Day 4 (7/3/07): About an hour from landing in London
I feel 100% calm right now. Almost nonchalant, if that makes sense. Earlier when we were in LAX, a couple people were talking about how it didn't feel real yet, that we are going to Romania. I said I felt like I'm there already.
(later, flying over Budapest, Hungary)
We're getting so close! I'm still feeling very calm, not really antsy like I thought I'd be -- antsy with excitement, I mean. It's not that I'm NOT excited...I guess I am just totally there already in my heart, so now it's just a matter of waiting to get there physically.
Day 5 (7/4/07): Philippians 3:7-21
"For the sake of Christ." I need to remember this phrase in EVERYTHING I do during this trip -- whether it is interacting with a teammate, an EGM leader, or a Romanian kid, or even an airline worker. Whatever I think will benefit me is totally worthless if it is not Christ-centered.
Day 6 (7/5/07): 1 Timothy 4:12-16
"Set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith, and in purity."
So often I find myself either second-guessing myself, or using my youth as an excuse not to take control of my faith. I am reminded of Alex J., who is only like nine years old, and is so eager to share her faith and to live it out daily, even at school where her classmates have different beliefs or ideas. It amazes me. Why am I so slow to share my testimony or even to offer prayer and encouragement to someone hurting or in need?
(later that night)
First day at camp...awesome! ...I was so excited to see the kids. There are about 50, from ages 7-15. I am seriously in LOVE with all of them. I put on this huge poncho-looking sweater that was made of a bunch of knitted-together squares, and a girl found another one and put it on, then came to me and gave me a big hug and said, "We're sisters!" Her name is Salome, and she's 13. Basically my new best friend. :)
Day 7 (7/6/07): Luke 12:22-34 (Do not worry)
This passage reminds me that I don't need to worry about [our lost luggage or when it will arrive.] God is our provider and He has been so faithful this whole trip to provide just what we need, and He has kept us safe. Besides, "who by worrying can add a single hour to her life?" It's totally unproductive and destructive. Lord, help me today to depend completely on You. Let me feel Your warmth and Your holy presence, and lead me to do Your will in everything I say and do. Give me energy.... Direct my footsteps according to Your word; let no sin rule over me. (Psalm 119:133)
...Another girl I met yesterday is Mihaela. Her family lives in a tent, and they have no identity cards or papers. And in spite of her difficult life, she is SO full of joy. Her smile is infectious, and she loves to hold our hands and hug us. My heart breaks for her.
(end of the day)
Father, thank You for taking such good care of me. You are SO faithful. (Dumnezeu e credincios!) Help me to be more like You in everything; more each day. Amen.
Day 8 (7/7/07): Romans 15:1-9
"...May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify [God.]"
Lord, help me to find ways to build up my teammates -- both American and Hungarian. Bless all of us with endurance and encouragement, and a spirit of unity in Your name.... Help me to remember that everything I do ought to be done as an act of worship to You... You are the I AM; the beginning and the end. You are eternal. May I never forget this!
Expectations. I came here recognizing the probability that my expectations would not be the reality. But I was thinking of expectations like:
-everything will be perfect
-I will have fun 24/7
-nothing will go disastrously wrong
-I will stay healthy and safe
I didn't acknowledge the other expectations I was holding onto until they were totally crushed...like:
-everyone will speak Romanian
-all of the kids are homeless or orphans
-the weather will be hot and humid
-I will not have trouble sleeping
-I won't get homesick
Thankfully, God has given me the ability to see these changed expectations and accept them with patience and peace. Even though the primary language spoken [at camp] is Hungarian, I am not discouraged, because I love to diversity in languages, and now instead of hearing only two, I get to hear a new and beautiful languages, and I marvel at the way it sounds.
The kids here are almost ALL from the Hungarian Baptist Church, and they have families and homes.... But that doesn't make our being here any less important or significant. We can still be a blessing and encouragement to them. Besides, our main purpose, I've come to realize, is to encourage the Hungarian leaders and help them develop the program which they have already made so well. So the fact that we can hang out with these kids and show them Christ's love in a different way than they might experience it at home or at church is a bonus.
Last night I finally slept about six hours. Up until then, I think I got about 12 hours of sleep (TOTAL) in five days, and most of that sleep was restless and sporadic. I didn't expect that. But God has shown me that He can and will provide me the energy and strength I need each day.
And as for the last ones I listed...I really thought that I wouldn't get homesick until at least halfway through the trip. But I think part of the reason I HAVE felt a little homesick is because of the weather.... Being freezing cold makes me think of how warm it is at home, and then I think of everyone and what they're doing -- swimming, barbecuing, spending time hanging out, going to movies...and I do miss that. I miss Curt, and my family, and Ashton and Erin. I miss the sun! But I think God has been using these feelings of homesickness to show me all the blessings I have, that I might be more thankful for them.
I'm so thankful for the people in my life. I am thankful for real toilets. For tennis shoes. For sunshine and warmth. I'm thankful for my church. I am also thankful for the things here that, though they may have been unexpected, are showing me God's beauty and grace every minute. I'm thankful for the rain. I'm thankful for the brief moments of blue sky and sunshine that come between the bursts of rain. I am thankful for missing luggage, because it helped me to recognize God's faithfulness in providing just what we needed. I'm thankful for Hungarian, because it is a language I had never heard before and is so much different than I imagined.
(end of the day)
...Almost the entire camp went for a walk/hike along the river, and it was simply breathtaking! I seriously didn't want to come home for a minute. I was ready to become a wilderness woman. :-P And while I was waiting for my turn to "bathe" tonight, I looked up at the sky and for the first time it was clear enough to see HUNDREDS of THOUSANDS of stars! Yay!
_____________________
Okay...it's way past the time I was planning on going to bed tonight. So I will have to get back to journal-transcribing another night. This should be enough for y'all for now, anyway. :)