Kept!verse: Distinction
This is the sixth story in my Kept!verse, in which Jeff's a billionaire, Jensen's a princess and Jared's the long suffering bodyguard. It follows Time is an illusion
Title: Distinction
Author: tabbyshhh
Wordcount: 6041
Rating: PG13
Characters/Pairings: Jeffrey Dean Morgan/Jensen Ackles, Jared Padalecki/Tom Welling
Warnings: RPS, AU
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: None of this is real. As far as I Know Jeff isn’t a billionaire, Jensen isn’t a princess and Jared isn’t a bodyguard.
Summary: Jensen’s near miss leads to an emotional rollercoaster for Jared.
Notes: Thanks to everyone who commented on the previous stories in this verse.
“You should get a pet.” Jared rolls onto his back, lazily watching Jensen towelling off after swimming laps in the pool. Jared reminds himself to work out more, Jensen and Tom both keep threatening that his metabolism is going to implode one day and he’ll end up as wide as he is tall.
“What?” Jensen shakes his head and drops of water fly all over the place, scattering over Jared.
“Hey!” Chris opens his eyes and glares at Jensen. “I’m trying to get a tan here!”
“And that’s exactly what we’re paying you for.” Jensen replies dryly. “I agreed to swim out here instead of in the indoor pool didn’t I?”
“After much bitching.” Chris agrees.
“Shut it or I’ll tell Jeff you were drinking on the job.”
“A mimosa does not count as a drink.” Chris scoffs.
“Jeff won’t see it that way.” Jensen sing songs. Jared just sighs and relaxes in the sunshine. Chris and Jensen love to bicker, it’s not malicious, it’s all in good humour, and after dealing with the tense truce between Jensen and Sterling for the past few weeks it actually feels like a breath of fresh air.
“Hey.” Jensen pokes him in the ribs and Jared opens his eyes, grinning at him. Jensen rolls his eyes and slides sunglasses up his nose, looking more like a movie star than Jared could ever hope to. “Did you say something before?”
“I said you should get a pet.” Jared repeats.
“Why would he do that when he has you?” Chris asks. Jensen grins at him and accidentally spills some of the iced water he was drinking on Chris’s calf.
“I have Bisou.” Jensen turns back to Jared.
“She’s Jeff’s.” Jared corrects.
“She’s mine too. I bought her.”
“For Jeff.”
“So? Why does that mean I need a pet?”
“Because my apartment manager won’t let me have one and if you get one I can play with it.” Jared confesses.
“Hey.” Jeff wanders out to sit with them, raising an eyebrow at Chris and Jared.
“Value for money aren’t they?” Jensen leans in to kiss him, smiling gratefully when Jeff starts smearing lotion on his shoulders. Jensen’s skin can’t stand the sun at all, Jared doesn’t really understand how he survived a childhood in Texas. “That’s mine.” He snags the almost finished Mimosa resting on the table next to the lounger Chris is lying on when Jeff’s eyes land on it. Jeff looks unconvinced but doesn’t disagree. “Jared thinks we should get a pet.” Jensen tells Jeff who frowns, wiping his hands on Jensen’s towel as he settles into the chair.
“What’s wrong with Bisou?” He turns his gaze to Jared, looking honestly offended on the dog’s behalf.
“Nothing.” Jared pouts. “She’s great, but she’s always with you.”
“Basically, Jared wants a dog and his apartment manager won’t let him have one.” Jensen explains, stealing a sip of Jeff’s coffee.
“You’ve got water and a mimosa.” Jeff points out. “You don’t need my coffee.” Jensen pouts and Jeff relents immediately, it’s just not worth trying to fight it. Jared snorts a little and shakes his head when Jensen grins at him triumphantly, swallowing down more coffee. “Tell Tom to get a dog.” Jeff turns back to Jared.
“You think the apartment manager will let him?” Jared asks sceptically. Tom lives in a really nice apartment, maybe they’d let him have at least a small dog.
“Well, since his father owns the building I doubt they could say no.” Jeff shrugs.
“What?” Jared frowns. Jeff turns back to look at him after retrieving his coffee from Jensen and finishing the small amount Jensen had left him. “You mean he owns the apartment.” Jared corrects because Jeff can’t really mean…
“No, he owns the building.” Jeff repeats.
“You didn’t wonder why it’s called Welling Tower?” Jensen asks curiously.
“I…I didn’t know it was.” Jared shrugs. Chris snorts and Jared ignores the urge to throw the rest of Jensen’s water over him or dump his ass in the pool.
“You’ve never heard of John Welling?” Jeff asks, quirking an eyebrow. “He’s a pretty important property…mogul, I guess you’d say.”
“Jensen had never heard of you.” Chris points out. “And Jared’s not from San Francisco.” Jared decides he’s glad he didn’t decide to throw Chris in the pool after all.
“Tom didn’t tell you?” Jeff asks.
“Why would he?” Jensen asks. “It’s not exactly something you just drop into a conversation. Nice to meet you, Jared, did you know my father’s a billionaire?” Jensen mocks.
“A billionaire?” Jared asks.
“He’s not as rich as Jeff.” Jensen shrugs.
“Us.” Jeff corrects. Jensen looks confused. “He’s not as rich as us.” Jeff repeats. Jensen smiles and leans in to kiss him while Chris pretends to vomit over the side of his lounger.
“No one’s as rich as you two.” Chris points out. “C’mon, man. It’s not a big deal. Like Jensen said, he probably just never thought to tell you. Does it make a difference?”
“Not really.” Jared shrugs.
“Good.” Chris nods. Jensen’s still too busy cozying up to Jeff to take much interest in the conversation. “So ask him to get a dog and stop whining.” Chris flops back on the lounger to soak up the sun some more.
*
“You sure you don’t want to come to the store with me?” Tom asks, nudging Jared’s arm.
“You know I can’t.” Jared smiles, trying not to sigh at the way Tom won’t take no for an answer. “I have to stay with Jensen.”
“Chris is here.” Tom reminds him.
“Yeah, but he’s not working. He stopped by to help you guys set up.”
“You’re not the only one Jen’s got wrapped around his little finger then?” Tom asks. He’s smiling but Jared can read the tension underneath it. Great, this is just what he needs, Tom getting jealous of him spending time with Jensen.
“Jen covered for him with Jeff the other day.” Jared still hasn’t mentioned the conversation by the pool to Tom yet. He noticed the plaque on Tom’s apartment building naming it Welling Tower, wonders how he ever missed it before. “C’mon, the sooner you go the sooner you’ll be back.” Jared spares him a kiss and shoos him out the door.
“Everything ok?” Jensen asks when he gets back into the room. Jared guesses he must be reading something on his face so he grins brightly to mask his unease at Tom’s attitude.
The art workshops Jensen and Tom have been running for the last few weeks have been a huge success and tonight they’re setting up a room in the art centre as a gallery so the kids’ families can come and see their work.
“Fine.” Jared nods. “Tom went to the store for a couple of things.” Jensen nods but Jared still catches him glancing at him a few moments later, a thoughtful look on his face. Jared brushes it off, Jensen’s nervous about the exhibition, nervous about being around so many people. “I’m gonna go help Chris in the back with those crates. Don’t go anywhere without me.” Jared instructs.
“Yeah, yeah, I know the drill.” Jensen grins at him and Jared rolls his eyes, leaving Jensen alone to survey the work they’ve already done.
He putters around the room a little, there’s not much they can do until Tom gets back with the nails they need, but Jensen runs through the plan of where they want to put things anyway, despite the fact that he and Tom had agonised over it for days and he knows it’s as good as it’s going to get. He’s more than a little anxious that the exhibition goes well. It’s part of their grade and the kids have worked really hard to have their pieces ready, they’re all to a much higher standard than Tom or Jensen had been expecting. Jensen’s really enjoyed sharing his love of painting, giving these kids something to focus on other than the difficulties of their day to day lives.
He hears the door to the studio open and the clearing of a throat makes him turn. He was expecting Tom, but it’s not. The guy’s maybe forty, balding and wearing jeans and a t-shirt.
“Hey.” Jensen says pleasantly. “This area’s closed for a private showing.”
“I know.” The guy replies. “Do you know who I am?” He asks.
Jensen shakes his head a little but when he thinks about it the guy does look familiar. Maybe he works for Jeff, he meets so many people who do, especially here in San Francisco, that it’s hard to remember their names and faces. They all recognise him though, sometimes it seems like he can’t go anywhere without someone coming over to say hello to him.
“Ummm, I’m sorry, no. Have we met?” Jensen asks. He suddenly wants to call out for Jared and the feeling’s only confirmed when the man smiles.
“It was a long time ago.” The man shrugs, stepping closer. Jensen steps back and bumps into a table. “I’m not going to hurt you.” The man tells him. Jensen’s reminded suddenly of Jeff promising he wasn’t a serial killer. Somehow he doesn’t think this encounter is going to end anything like as well.
“You should go.” Jensen tells him. “Like I said, this room’s booked.” There’s a sudden noise of laughter from the back room, Jared and Chris joking about something. Jensen’s eyes dart across to the door that would take him through to them, and by the time he looks back the man is holding a gun. Jensen doesn’t know what to do. He’s seen guns before, of course, in the hands of men paid to protect him. He’s never liked them, he knows how dangerous they can be, and the way that all the security staff handle them - carefully, proficiently, respectfully- makes him fear them even more. He wants to yell for Jared but his throat won’t work and all he can manage is a weak gasp.
“I know who you are.” The man hisses. “We’ve met.”
“I’m sorry.” Jensen stutters. “I don’t remember.”
“Well, you were far too preoccupied with your precious sugar daddy.” Jensen flinches at the words, if this guy wasn’t holding a gun on him he’s probably tell him to fuck off, but it’s not really a sensible option right now.
“What do you want?” He asks instead, forcing his voice not to shake.
“I want him to hurt like I did. He took everything from me. My job, my family, my life.” The man’s moving a little restlessly, keeping Jensen in his sights. Jensen edges towards the back door, the man following him with his gun as they practically circle each other. Jensen has seen Justin and Chris spar in the gym at the house, they circle each other for a while before launching their attack. This man doesn’t hold himself ready for a fight though and Jensen knows if it was a case of unarmed combat he could take him, he’s learned a lot from his bodyguards over the years. As it is the guy has a gun and Jensen doesn’t want to antagonise him with any quick movements.
“I’m sorry.” Jensen repeats. “Jeff isn’t… I mean, I’m sure he didn’t mean to.”
“I went to prison.” The man hisses, Jensen realises he’s trying not to yell, to get the attention of Chris and Jared. “Because of him. I spent five years in prison.”
“Oh god.” Jensen knows who he is now. Cliff Mullhoney. He’d been funnelling money from one of the subsidiaries of Jeff’s company into a private account, been found guilty of fraud and sent to prison. It had been all over the news at the time. When they were trying to figure out who shot Jeff this guy was one of the top suspects but he had an alibi. “You shot Jeff.” Jensen says weakly.
“Yep.” The man nods, a maniacal gleam in his eye. “But then I figured I should ruin his life the way he’s ruined mine. Take away the things he loves most. Everyone knows that’s you. You and that dog of his.” For a second Jensen’s almost more afraid for Bisou than he is for himself, until his brain snaps into gear and he realises that must have been what Mullhoney was trying to do on the night he set of the perimeter alarm. Jensen thanks God that Bisou was inside at the time. “Interesting that it was harder to get near the dog than it was to get to you.” Mullhoney sneers. Jensen ignores the jab, he knows that Jeff loves Bisou, of course he does, but he also knows that Jeff wouldn’t even consider choosing the dog over him.
Jensen straightens his back a little, feeling the pull of the bullet proof vest on his shoulders. He vividly remembers the yelling that had taken place when Jeff had insisted on him wearing one of these, now he wants to kiss him and say sorry for ever getting upset at any of Jeff’s safety precautions. They might have seemed over the top at the time but clearly they hadn’t been enough. The weight of the vest isn’t nearly as comfortable as it should be, Jensen can’t help but wonder what will happen if this lunatic shoots him in the head, or the neck, even a gun shot wound to his thigh could kill him in minutes if it was in the right place.
“Jensen, I couldn’t get….” Jensen wants to scream at Tom to get out before it’s too late, before Mullhoney turns on him.
All he manages to get out is a strangled scream of “No!”, before he’s being pushed to the floor and there’s a gun shot. It’s all so like the night that Jeff got shot that Jensen stays down before the second shot jerks him awake and he realises Jared’s lying on top of him, not moving, and Chris is standing in the doorway, having just shot Mullhoney in the shoulder. Sterling’s there too and Jensen doesn’t know when he arrived but all he can do is grab for Jared.
“Jared?” He tries to shake him, his hands immediately going to the bullet hole in Jared’s shirt. “Jared!”
“Shhh. Jensen, it’s ok.” Jeff’s there, his voice calm in Jensen’s ear.
“He’s been shot. Jeff, he’s been shot.” Jensen sobs. He remembers Jeff’s blood all over his hands and he wants to vomit but something’s not right. “There’s no blood.” Jensen realises. Jared twitches and for the first time Jensen sees Tom sitting on the other side of him, patting Jared’s face as though he’s trying to wake him.
“Jesus Christ.” Jared swears. “That hurt like a bitch.”
“You just got shot.” Jensen tells him.
“I know.”
“You should be dead.” Jensen hates when his voice gets shrill like that but he can’t help it. “I don’t understand.” He looks from Jeff to Jared and back again.
“You were too busy yelling to hear that you weren’t the only one expected to wear the vests.” Jeff tells him softly.
“He could have shot you in the head you idiot.” Jensen thumps Jared in the arm before throwing himself at Jeff and breaking down completely. He has no idea how Jeff and Sterling managed to arrive right in the middle of all the action but he can’t be anything but grateful.
Jensen wants to go with Jared to the hospital, because even with the vest on a gun shot at such close range will have caused some internal damage and it needs to be checked out. Jared tells him to go home with Jeff, says Tom will stay with him and it’s crazy for all of them to sit around in the hospital. Tom promises to call as soon as they get out of the hospital and Jensen agrees to go home. He falls asleep in the car on the way. Fucking Jeff, he knew that water tasted weird.
*
Jared’s chest aches. The pain killers they’d given him at the ER aren’t particularly strong, Jared knows he’s got stronger ones in his medicine cabinet but Tom won’t let him take them. Tom won’t let him move. He’s begin to understand how Jensen feels, constantly being watched, and he’s only had to deal with it for the past two hours. He turns restlessly on the sofa, feeling the twinge where a stunning bruise has already formed on his sternum.
“You ok?” Tom asks, setting down the book he’s pretending to read.
“Peachy.” Jared grins at him, he knows it’s a weak imitation of his normal smile, but he doesn’t think it’s a bad effort when what he really wants is for Tom to go home and leave him to sleep.
“I think maybe we need to talk.” Tom says, his voice is calm but Jared can hear the tension behind it.
“Sure.” Jared forces his eyes open and smiles weakly at Tom. “What do you want to talk about?”
“This.” Tom replies cryptically. Jared frowns, he’s not in any fit state to decipher this kind of conversation.
“You’re going to have to spit it out, Tom.” He sighs.
“Don’t you think you’d be happier doing a job that’s a bit less…dangerous?” Tom asks hesitantly.
“Happier?” Jared frowns.
“Safer.” Tom sighs.
“Well obviously I’d be safer if I did a job that was less dangerous.” Jared replies incredulously. Maybe those pills were stronger than he thought, because Tom isn’t making any sense to him at all.
“You know what I mean, Jared.” Now Tom sounds frustrated.
“I really don’t.” Jared assures him. He forces himself into a sitting position, ignoring the way his ribs protest.
“I just….” Tom pauses and rubs a hand over his face. “I worry about you, ok?” He sighs. “Protecting Jensen…it’s dangerous. Maybe now’s the time to think about looking for something else, now there’s no immediate threats to him or Jeff.”
“Something else?” Jared asks. “Tom, I like my job. It’s a hell of a lot less dangerous than being in the army was. Most days I’m just hanging out. Occasionally I have to earn my money.”
“By getting shot!” Tom reminds him.
“I was wearing a vest.” Jared replies calmly. “Jensen’s my friend. Probably my best friend these days. I would have tried to stop him getting shot whether I was getting paid or not.”
“I know that.” Tom closes his eyes and turns his face away. “That’s what I worry about. You don’t always think rationally around him. I know he’s your friend, he’s my friend too, and I know you’re protective off him…” Tom pauses and takes a deep breath. “And I get that after what happened to Chad you…” Tom stops speaking when a gasp leaves Jared’s lips, making his ribs ache even more.
“Don’t.” He says, although his mouth feels kind of like it’s stuffed with cotton wool. He can’t believe Tom’s trying to use this against him. “Don’t you dare try and use the death a man you never met, who died in a place you’ve never been to in a way you can’t possibly imagine….don’t you try and use that against me to prove your point.” Jared’s aware he’s raising his voice now but he can’t help it. “I carried my best friend’s body back to base so that his father would have more than just dog tags to bury. I was soaked in his blood. So you’re damn right that I’m not going to stand by and watch someone else I love get shot when it’s my job to have his back.” Jared chokes on the words. “I didn’t tell you so you could throw it back in my face.”
“Jared…”
“No.” He doesn’t want to hear Tom apologise. “I think you should leave.”
“Wait, I…”
“Tom, if you don’t lave right now…” Jared chokes on a sob.
“I’m going.” Tom stands up, but looks as though he wants to say something else. Jared turns away from him, not wanting to hear it. “I’ll call you.” Tom mutters, and then Jared hears the front door close.
He manages to fumble his phone open and press speed dial one. He has no idea what he says to Jensen, if he says anything at all.
“You want me to come get you, Jay?” Jensen offers, his voice soft.
“Please.” Jared manages to force the words out of his mouth.
“I’ll be right there man, I’m leaving right now.” Jensen promises. “I’ll call when I’m outside, ok?”
“Yeah.” Jared nods and hangs up, wondering what the hell Jeff must think, it’s the middle of the night.
He grabs the few things he needs, he already has clothes and toiletries at Jensen’s from when he’s covered the night shift. All the time he’s moving he breathes carefully and deeply, keeping his mind in the here and now and not letting the memories of Chad’s death overwhelm him.
He splashes his face with cold water and manages to make himself look something like presentable by the time Jensen calls to let him know he’s there. When Jared makes it out to the sidewalk he has to bite back a smile because Jensen’s in the limo.
He opens the door and slides in, managing to quirk an eyebrow at Jensen.
“I don’t have a license.” Jensen reminds him. “And I figured this would be best.” He jerks a thumb towards the privacy screen that’s fully up, meaning whoever’s driving can’t see or hear any of their conversation. “Stupid question but…you ok?”
“Not really.” Jared admits. “Tom just…”
“You fought?”
“Yeah.” Jared sighs. “Sorry I called you but…”
“Hey, c’mon, man. How often have you had to deal with me when I’ve fought with Jeff?” Jensen smiles at him. “And you’re supposed to call me, that’s what friends are for.”
“If you start singing I’ll cry.” Jared warns.
“Hey, I have a great voice.” Jensen looks put out and Jared feels about a hundred times better already. They arrive at Jeff and Jensen’s house pretty quickly, and jump out while whoever’s driving takes the limo back to the garage.
“Justin.” Jensen tells him when Jared watches the car go. “Jeff gave Chris the night off because of how long he spent with the police today. I was kind of a mess.”
“Shit.” Jared sighs. “I’m sorry, man. You should be sleeping.”
“I slept all afternoon.” Jensen replies. “Jeff spiked my water with something.”
“Where is he?”
“Sleeping. He spent the afternoon reassuring pretty much everyone we know that we’re all fine. You called your mom right, because it made the national news. My brother called to check I was ok.” Jensen replies. Jared nods, he’d called his mom on the way to the hospital to assure her he was fine. Jeff’s a very public figure, news was bound to spread like wildfire that the person who had shot him had been captured whilst trying to kill his lover and that one of the security team had been injured.
Jensen leads him into the sitting room and Jared sits on the huge soft sofa, relieved that his ribs hurt a bit less now he’s sitting down. Jensen had carried his bag in for him and he sets it next to the sofa.
“This is all they gave you?” Jared opens his eyes and realises Jensen’s looking at the bottle of pain medication he’d hastily thrown into his bag. He nods. “Sucks. We’ve still got some from when Jeff got shot, when you’re ready to crash I’ll get you one of those so you’ll be able to sleep.”
“Thanks.” Jared nods again, sleep sounds pretty good right now.
“Want to tell me what happened?” Jensen asks softly. Jared sighs a little. He does want Jensen to know, but he’s not sure how to explain it.
“He wants me to quit.”
“Quit what?” Jensen asks.
“My job.” Jared replies, opening his eyes and offering Jensen a small smile.
“I can see why he’d want that.” Jensen replies, keeping his voice neutral.
“Maybe.” Jared tries not to shrug because it hurts so much. “But I don’t want that. I like my job. I don’t want to do something safe.” He practically spits the word. “I’m not qualified for working in an office, and not everyone has a rich daddy to support them.” Jensen waits, letting Jared get it all out. “He brought up Chad.” Jared says, after a moments pause.
“Why?” Jensen asks.
“To prove that I don’t think rationally when it comes to protecting my friends.”
“Bullshit.” Jensen looks enrages. “What the hell does he think he’s playing at? What did you say?”
“Nothing.” Jared shakes his head. “I just told him he shouldn’t use it against me and then kicked him out. I just…I didn’t even see it coming. He’s not usually so thoughtless.”
“No.” Jensen sits back in his chair looking contemplative. “I guess…maybe he was just scared, y’know? I’m not excusing what he said, if you decided to tell him about Chad it’s because you trust him, not so he can bring it up to make a point. Especially when the point he’s trying to make is crap. But…You saw what I was like after Jeff got shot. Even after I knew he was going to be ok. It must have scared the life out of him to see you go down. It scared me.”
“Yeah.” Jared sighs. “Maybe I over reacted.”
“No.” Jensen disagrees immediately. “You didn’t. He had no right to say that. You were right to get him to leave and give you some space. I’m just trying to figure out what’d make him behave like that. It’s not like him.”
“I guess you’re right.” Jared takes a deep breath. “He was probably just freaked out and he said things he didn’t mean.”
“Yeah. Listen, why don’t I get you one of those pills and you can crash, ok? Things will seem better in the morning and you can call Tom if you want, or you can wait for him to come crawling to you. Because he will.” Jensen says certainly.
Jared nods gratefully, going to the guestroom he usually uses and getting ready for bed. He takes the pill Jensen gives him with a sip of water and settles down to sleep. These pills are damn strong and he knows he’ll be able to sleep without fear of the nightmares that sometimes plague him when he’s reminded of the way Chad died.
*
When he wakes up it’s light outside. He’s not exactly surprised, it was almost four when he fell asleep. He gets a quick shower and heads downstairs after examining the bruise that’s blooming all across his collar bone and ribs. He grabs himself an apple and munches it quickly, sipping down some milk so he can take his pain meds. Just the ones that the hospital gave him this time, not the ones Jensen left him that are strong enough to knock out a horse.
He can’t find Jensen anywhere so he settles for knocking on the door to Jeff’s study.
“Hey.” Jeff gives him a small smile. He looks tired and a little harried, but he indicates a chair for Jared to sit in. “You ok?”
“Hurts to breathe but other than that I’m fine.” Jared lies. Jeff’s gaze lands on him again but he doesn’t call him on it. “Where’s Jensen?”
“It’s Sunday.” Jeff reminds him. “He’s gone to church. I told him to miss it today, get some rest, but he said today of all days he has a lot to be thankful for.” Jared nods. He doesn’t share Jensen’s faith in a higher power, it’s hard to with all he’s seen, but he likes to think that the people he’s lost are in a better place and he’ll see them again.
“He’s gone on his own?” Jared asks, suddenly freaked out by the idea.
“No.” Jeff replies immediately. “Sterling went with him. They won’t fight in church.” He assures Jared.
“They’ve been getting along ok.” Jared smiles. It’s the truth, they’ve achieved something of a truce over the last few weeks.
“Yeah, well, hopefully Sterling will be able to get back to his usual duties again soon.” Jeff doesn’t look as relieved at the thought as Jared would expect.
“You’re not pleased the guy’s behind bars?”
“Of course I am.” Jeff sighs. “I just…I want to make sure he was the only threat, you know? Before I agree to reduce security.”
“Yeah.” Jared agrees wholeheartedly with that. “You have to wrestle him into his bulletproof vest today?” He asks with a grin.
“As much fun as that would be…” Jeff spares him a smile. “He put it on without me even having to mention it.”
“Yeah.” Jared nods. He pauses for a moment, watching Jeff turn the page of the document lying on his desk. “I actually wanted to talk to you.”
“Ok.” Jeff closes the folder and gives Jared his undivided attention. It’s actually a little unnerving, Jared’s not used to being the centre of Jeff’s attention, Jensen’s usually around and then some part of Jeff is always distracted.
“I just…I’m not sure if I should be assigned to protect Jensen anymore. I’m too close to him. I don’t…I’m not detached enough.” Jared’s looking at his hands.
“You think that’s a problem?” Jeff asks. His voice is so neutral that Jared has to look up to try and gauge what he’s thinking.
“You don’t?”
“If I did you would have been out of here a long time ago. Jensen is the most important thing in the world to me, Jared. You know that, or at least I hope you do.” Jeff pauses and Jared nods immediately. Despite the sometimes fiery nature of their relationship Jared’s never been in any doubt of the way those two feel for each other. “I trust you to take care of him.” Jeff continues. “And yesterday you proved that you can. You saved his life, Jared. So I don’t see how the two of you being friends is a hindrance to you carrying out your normal duties. If there’s something else, some other reason, why you feel like you can’t protect Jensen anymore, then that’s fine. I just don’t want you to think that I don’t trust you to do it.”
“I know you do.” Jared nods. “I’m just not sure I trust myself.”
“Ok.” Jeff nods, but doesn’t dig any deeper. “We can reassign you to something else. Household security or something. If there’s something else you might want to so we can look into it.”
“Really?” Jared asks, surprised.
“Yes.” Jeff nods again, leaving Jared in no doubt of his sincerity. “You’re smart, Jared. And you’re hard working and dedicated. JDM Enterprises will always have positions for people like you. I have to confess though, I can’t imagine you sitting in an office or in front of a bank of security monitors.”
“Me either.” Jared sighs and slumps back in his chair. “It’s just…Did Jensen tell you why I’m here?”
“He mentioned you’d had a fight with Tom but he didn’t say what about.” Jeff replies.
“Really?” Jared asks incredulously. “He tells you everything.”
“Not the things you tell him in confidence.” Jeff points out.
“He just…he said maybe I’d be happier doing something that was safer.”
“He probably meant that he’d be happier.” Jeff replies. “And after yesterday it’s easy to see why he might think that. Do you think he’s right?”
“No.” Jared shakes his head. “I like my job. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t get off on danger or anything, but I just…I enjoy it. If I wasn’t working for you guys I’d still do this for someone else. It’s not just because Jensen and I get on so well.”
“Maybe you should tell Tom that.” Jeff smiles at him. Jared nods and silence reigns for a few moments. “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure.” Jared nods.
“Did you ever have therapy after you left the army?” Jeff asks. His voice is soft, like he’s not sure he should be asking.
“You think this is some delayed reaction?” Jared asks, shaking his head. “I reacted at the time, Jeff.” Jared’s under no illusions that Jeff knows all about the day Chad died, the way it happened and that Jared was injured carrying him back to base, he has full access to Jared’s service record, and he’s not surprised that Jeff’s linked the two incidents, he’s a perceptive guy. “And yeah. I had a couple of sessions with a therapist but talking about it didn’t help.”
“Maybe it would now.” Jeff suggests hesitantly. “With a little distance…a little time…” He stops.
“I’m not sure my medical insurance covers a shrink.” Jared shakes his head. He’s not sure how he feels about seeing a therapist again. He’d hated it at the time but his mom had insisted.
“I’ll talk to Kripke and make sure it does.” Jeff says firmly. Jared looks up in surprise and Jeff sighs. “Jared….You served your country for five years, you were awarded the distinguished service cross for what you did…”
“I didn’t save him.” Jared interrupts. He hates that medal. It sits in pride of place in his mom’s living room, next to his purple heart, and all it ever does is remind him of the best friend he lost.
“You saved a lot of other people that day.” Jeff reminds him.
“But I didn’t save him.” Jared replies, his voice breaking on the last word. “And what happens if one day I can’t save Jensen? I don’t think I can go through that, Jeff.”
“Neither can I.” Jeff replies, his voice sharp as steel. “But I trust you to keep him safe, Jared. I trust you. You saved his life yesterday, and I will never be able to thank you enough for that because if I lost him….” Jeff pauses and Jared looks away, allowing them both to compose themselves. “If you think you need some therapy, or maybe an all expenses paid vacation to the Bahamas or whatever the hell else you think might help…I’m prepared to arrange that, Jared. Because I am not prepared to lose you from my staff without a fight.” Jared looks up at him and he can read the honesty in Jeff’s eyes.
“I don’t really want to go to the Bahamas.” Jared shakes his head. “But some time off to go visit my momma might be nice.”
“Done.” Jeff nods immediately. “Maybe you could take Tom to meet her.” He suggests, tilting his head slightly.
“I’m not sure he’d want to go.”
“I would.” Jared’s head whips round immediately at the soft voice from the doorway and he barely registers the pain from his ribs when he sees Tom’s standing there looking absolutely terrified.
“I’ll catch up with you later, Jared.” Jeff promises before he leaves, closing the door behind him.
“How did you know I was here?” Jared asks, standing up to face Tom.
“Well, you weren’t at your own apartment and Jensen called to yell at me so I figured…” Tom smiles a little when Jared rolls his eyes. “Look, I’m so sorry about what I said, Jay.”
“It’s ok.” Jared’s done being mad. He’s not going to screw this thing up with Tom over a mistake.
“It’s not ok.” Suddenly Tom’s right in front of him, cupping his face and kissing him softly. “I don’t know what I was thinking. I think I was in shock or something but that’s no excuse. I had no right to try and…bully you into quitting your job and I had no right to bring up Chad like that. And I’m sorry.”
“You’re forgiven.” Jared tells him, kissing him softly. “I don’t think I want to quit my job.”
“Ok. That’s fine. How many lunatics can Jensen attract in one year anyway?”
“Oh, plenty.” Jared grins. Tom smiles back at him, shaking his head in amusement. “So…” Jared kisses him again. “You really want to meet my mom?”