sigh
well i just got back from clubbing with friends. i had a good time i suppose...
but i seemed to find myself staring at all the puppets, wondering if i would ever fit into the show.
i simply dont fit in too easily and sometimes i wish it wasnt so.
but thats just the way it goes.
my throat is extremely sore, as i am still actually recovering from a cold! and i am slightly drunk maybe? i wouldnt call myself drunk, but i have been drinking soooo.
i really feel like cutting too and i feel suicidal
- crazy, alone, and drunk!
NOT a good combination!
then of course there is the loneliness, i miss Gareth. which is horribly annoying, because i haven't even thought much of him. until he just decided to start texting me again! its like rubbing salt on old wounds. now every time i speak to him, i feel my heart breaking again. its ridiculous!
but there is good news!!!
i have moved into my new house and it is lovely.
and i love my car :) i'm going for my licence on the 2nd of feb, now i'm just riding around with my learners.
i also start classes on Monday! i am super excited, but extremely nervous at the same time!
anyways i am going to get into bed and sleep, before i hurt myself! i hate fearing myself. i realy have not felt this way in ages. i have been in control!
but i seemed to find myself staring at all the puppets, wondering if i would ever fit into the show.
i simply dont fit in too easily and sometimes i wish it wasnt so.
but thats just the way it goes.
my throat is extremely sore, as i am still actually recovering from a cold! and i am slightly drunk maybe? i wouldnt call myself drunk, but i have been drinking soooo.
i really feel like cutting too and i feel suicidal
- crazy, alone, and drunk!
NOT a good combination!
then of course there is the loneliness, i miss Gareth. which is horribly annoying, because i haven't even thought much of him. until he just decided to start texting me again! its like rubbing salt on old wounds. now every time i speak to him, i feel my heart breaking again. its ridiculous!
but there is good news!!!
i have moved into my new house and it is lovely.
and i love my car :) i'm going for my licence on the 2nd of feb, now i'm just riding around with my learners.
i also start classes on Monday! i am super excited, but extremely nervous at the same time!
anyways i am going to get into bed and sleep, before i hurt myself! i hate fearing myself. i realy have not felt this way in ages. i have been in control!