Have people ever considered....?
Much attention has been paid lately to the latest in Bill 183 and it's retroactive approach to adoption disclosure. Much of the hoopla comes from the Privacy Commissioner and her wanting to protect the privacy of birthmothers. OK, I get it. Some of these women don't want a call from the child they gave up because it's been a secret up until now, or that's simply an area of their life they want to forget. What everyone else (and by everyone else,I'm mean the tories and ms. privacy comissioner herself) seems to be missing ('cept those of us in the triad) is the "no contact veto". It's not going to take much for the Ontario government to contact all those involved in any adoption process and ask them if they consent to contact. If you feel your privacy is at such risk, then fill out the damn no contact veto. If anything, this kind of due process and system of getting your god-given right to know who you are and the circumstances surrounding your birth will be able to protect privacy even better. It will ensure those seeking contact can, and those who want nothing to do with contact to express so in an appropriate manner. At this point, without such a system for us adoptees, we are doing our own searching and looking up names and numbers all over. It sometimes results in that unexpected phone call the day you've been found. The way it stands now, adoptees can be so driven by their desire to know that it's almost llike we are snooping around behind someone's back. Knowing that this disclosure process exists, I can go through the systems approach knowing my searching is welcome. BUT..also that this search occurs when I say so. I may just put that no contact veto myself but that doesn't mean I still don't want the information that's rightfully mine.
The benefits on this far outweigh the negative consequences which may result from a retroactive bill. As an adoptee, I'm not a kid anymore. Stop treating me like one and give me the responsibility to control my own actions re: my search and possible contact. Give me a break, I know what I'm getting into. I do not need to be "protected". I'm not desperately in search of meaning and self-worth out of this. I simply want my questions to be heard and answered. This is rarely considered in discussing this issue. Thank you to the MPPs who are with us on this. You want fear mongering? We can certainly turn the tables on this and present the picture of the adoptee relentlessly searching; calling every Jane Doe in the Toronto phone book in search of the answers she deserves. Or we can present the same person who knows there is a system out there working for her (not against her) and that access to her information is considered a right, not luck of the draw. Her questions are answered right away, including the possibility of contact. I'm a big girl, if I get faced with an order for no contact, I will respect their privacy in that regards. I'll be happy knowing there's a name and some history.
Rant, rant, rant....it's been getting to me lately. I am not a second class citizen who can't be trusted with information simply because of circumstances I had no control over.
There! (done for now I think)
The benefits on this far outweigh the negative consequences which may result from a retroactive bill. As an adoptee, I'm not a kid anymore. Stop treating me like one and give me the responsibility to control my own actions re: my search and possible contact. Give me a break, I know what I'm getting into. I do not need to be "protected". I'm not desperately in search of meaning and self-worth out of this. I simply want my questions to be heard and answered. This is rarely considered in discussing this issue. Thank you to the MPPs who are with us on this. You want fear mongering? We can certainly turn the tables on this and present the picture of the adoptee relentlessly searching; calling every Jane Doe in the Toronto phone book in search of the answers she deserves. Or we can present the same person who knows there is a system out there working for her (not against her) and that access to her information is considered a right, not luck of the draw. Her questions are answered right away, including the possibility of contact. I'm a big girl, if I get faced with an order for no contact, I will respect their privacy in that regards. I'll be happy knowing there's a name and some history.
Rant, rant, rant....it's been getting to me lately. I am not a second class citizen who can't be trusted with information simply because of circumstances I had no control over.
There! (done for now I think)