Can't take my eyes off of you.
I often wonder how much the heart influences our lives. I have heard before, and truly believe, that you can influence your universe with your thoughts and attitude. I believe the common phrase is, "Attitude is everything." I used to get so irritated with Grandma when she'd say that to me. I remember, at our house in Florida on Gentrice Drive, she had that phrase embroidered in green next to Taz from Looney Tunes. It was either in my little hallway or in my room. I never took it, or her, seriously, when she said my attitude could really affect a situation. How on Earth could my own disposition change anything that was going on?
As I've gotten older I have come to understand just how true that statement is. But even now, perhaps more than ever, I am experiencing it in my own life. I can't remember how long it's been -- not long, maybe two weeks. But I have been more positive in these past days than I have quite possibly in my entire life. I am constantly smiling and laughing. I try to get a smile out of almost everyone I see. I am working harder and happier, enjoying school more, and striving to improve my life. I don't think I have ever felt this good, and that's the honest truth. It's like Christmas every day, times fifty billion. I feel more energetic, I wake up happy, I'm tired when I go to bed because I actually do things during the day, I've been getting more done -- I'm even helping with house work! All of my friends have noticed the improvement in my attitude. Especially my co-workers, because I am so cheerful and helpful at work. I wrote a Subway gangster rap today. I'll have to post that later.
All of this change was brought about by people, and most of it by just one. It amazes me how much others can influence our lives. Four weeks ago, if you'd asked me how I was, I would have said "fine." That's the default answer, right? But if I'd told you the truth, I would have told you that I felt like I was drifting. My life felt empty and I felt like I was missing something very important. I was looking in all the wrong places for the cause of my apathy, and I certainly didn't have the strength myself to pull out of that hole on my own.
That was the worst part, I think. I lost myself. I forgot who I was, and why I was. I was on repeat, going through the motions and just surviving, rather than living. Now all of a sudden I am filled with a zest for life. Now I've found new meaning, new purpose, new strength. I feel alive again. I feel like ME! I'm hiking and working out and eating better and doing more things. I'm making new friends, too! Friends at my maturity level, whom I can have spectacular conversations with. My life has improved by leaps and bounds, thanks to a wonderful, unusual man who popped up out of no where and saved me. He's everything I could ask for, and all the things that were too wonderful for me to imagine asking for. Never before have so many people told me that I've got it right this time. I feel so lucky. I feel so grateful.
So, life: Please let me keep this one.
:P
As I've gotten older I have come to understand just how true that statement is. But even now, perhaps more than ever, I am experiencing it in my own life. I can't remember how long it's been -- not long, maybe two weeks. But I have been more positive in these past days than I have quite possibly in my entire life. I am constantly smiling and laughing. I try to get a smile out of almost everyone I see. I am working harder and happier, enjoying school more, and striving to improve my life. I don't think I have ever felt this good, and that's the honest truth. It's like Christmas every day, times fifty billion. I feel more energetic, I wake up happy, I'm tired when I go to bed because I actually do things during the day, I've been getting more done -- I'm even helping with house work! All of my friends have noticed the improvement in my attitude. Especially my co-workers, because I am so cheerful and helpful at work. I wrote a Subway gangster rap today. I'll have to post that later.
All of this change was brought about by people, and most of it by just one. It amazes me how much others can influence our lives. Four weeks ago, if you'd asked me how I was, I would have said "fine." That's the default answer, right? But if I'd told you the truth, I would have told you that I felt like I was drifting. My life felt empty and I felt like I was missing something very important. I was looking in all the wrong places for the cause of my apathy, and I certainly didn't have the strength myself to pull out of that hole on my own.
That was the worst part, I think. I lost myself. I forgot who I was, and why I was. I was on repeat, going through the motions and just surviving, rather than living. Now all of a sudden I am filled with a zest for life. Now I've found new meaning, new purpose, new strength. I feel alive again. I feel like ME! I'm hiking and working out and eating better and doing more things. I'm making new friends, too! Friends at my maturity level, whom I can have spectacular conversations with. My life has improved by leaps and bounds, thanks to a wonderful, unusual man who popped up out of no where and saved me. He's everything I could ask for, and all the things that were too wonderful for me to imagine asking for. Never before have so many people told me that I've got it right this time. I feel so lucky. I feel so grateful.
So, life: Please let me keep this one.
:P