Funny how things change...
I'm no longer engaged, and I don't plan on getting married for a very long time. After SCC I am going to Western to continue working on Psychology. There are many, many underlying reasons for my break up with Ben, but suffice it to say I needed more companionship than he could offer. It's not his fault, and there is no malice between us. I am still working on letting go of everything, but I am getting better. This has been coming for a while, I think we both saw it.
It's different, yes, but it happened slowly and steadily. We talked less, became distant. We still tried, but there was nothing we could do. And something is wrong when distance can break things so easily. I am grateful for the time we shared and all that I learned, and maybe some day things will work out. What's meant to happen will happen. For now, I am going to focus on school, saving money, and getting ready for Western. I'm very excited that I don't have to take an indefinite break after school. I really hated that the Navy was going to dictate where and when I continued my education. Now that I'm back in control of my life I feel like I am ready to deal with it. I've grown up a lot in the past couple months, when I ignorantly thought that I had already done all my growing up. But I guess we never stop growing.
I have come to appreciate my friends more in this time. I know a lot of good people and I am so glad they're a part of my life. Few things can compare to the feeling you get when you know someone understands. While it is true that I hate being right back where I was before when I thought I was sure of myself, and I hate realizing that I was being blind and too much of an idealist, all I can do is learn my lesson and keep trying.
It's different, yes, but it happened slowly and steadily. We talked less, became distant. We still tried, but there was nothing we could do. And something is wrong when distance can break things so easily. I am grateful for the time we shared and all that I learned, and maybe some day things will work out. What's meant to happen will happen. For now, I am going to focus on school, saving money, and getting ready for Western. I'm very excited that I don't have to take an indefinite break after school. I really hated that the Navy was going to dictate where and when I continued my education. Now that I'm back in control of my life I feel like I am ready to deal with it. I've grown up a lot in the past couple months, when I ignorantly thought that I had already done all my growing up. But I guess we never stop growing.
I have come to appreciate my friends more in this time. I know a lot of good people and I am so glad they're a part of my life. Few things can compare to the feeling you get when you know someone understands. While it is true that I hate being right back where I was before when I thought I was sure of myself, and I hate realizing that I was being blind and too much of an idealist, all I can do is learn my lesson and keep trying.