you have no fucking room to feel the way that you do.

[t0xicwastez0ne]

ok so i've been really indecisive lately... things are starting to get more and more serious between me and shane each day. but the more i want to be with him, the more i think about whats going to happen after high school. as of now, i seriously dont think we'll be together forever. i love him, but once i go to college i might meet someone

Comments

think happy...

[truelyimmortal]

okay. I have a lot to say and I want to make it as clear as possible. I know exactly how you feel, except with my relationship sex isnt involved...who knows when ill have sex but thats the last thing on my mind right now. Since its on ur mind, I wanna be able to help you out like we had talked about so much.

First off, yea you've been with shane for a long time now, what almost 9 months? Its admirable in everyone elses eyes because these days people break up really fast over the stupidest things. its great that you both love eachother so much! As for the future...i know it can be so confusing because once ur in love..u think...marriage, kids, old age...all this stuff we SHOULDN'T be thinking about right now at 15 years old. but we do think about it and it scares us to think we might be with this person for the rest of our lives...growing up right infront of eachother. Its scary but actually so fucking exciting.. i mean come on who finds their first love and ends up marrying them? not many..but you guys can be one of the exceptions...that is..if you really love eachother that much. Its more of a thing you have to think about together...asking him what he thinks about the situation..I know that with my and ray we have talked about it already and hes already said if gets a ring we are going to get engaged..i know it sounds scary..im so young...but Im in love..and I cant help thinking Ill be with him forever ya know? College...yess...times of parties..and education (blah)..and yea we could find people there...it depends on if you really WANT to find these new people..or if they find you and u refuse them...u see what im sayin? you can always choose Shane over them, but if you dont want to...then you can go out looking for others. its really all about how you feel because ur inner feelings about this add to the outcome in the end.

Im actually proud that you can admit ur still a virgin. I am too...and Im proud of it...not because I dont want to have sex..but because so many people lose it to people they dont even care about and then wish they had it back..but us..nope..we have ours still...and it wont go away until we WANT it to. does shane want to have sex? because if he does then its a double sided thing...(ur both losing it to eachother is what im trying to say.) If he cares about you and you care about him as much as you say you do..then I dont see why it wouldn't be a good idea to lose ur virginity to shane...the guy you've been with for so long, care about, and trust. If you don't think that u want to lose it and think u two are going to break up and never have ur virginity back...then maybe u should wait...its better to be safe then sorry ANY day. It kinda sounds like you don't really want to stay with shane...and u might get too attached if u have sex..well then I would ask why you are still in the relationship in the first place...if you dont want to be attached then u dont want to be with them...unless u mean it like if HE breaks up with YOU. then id say yea you might want to figure out ur emotions before you go off and do it.

I hope I helped at least a little bit..and you could understand what the hell i was typing there. lol.

P.S. when ur ready...my car is here...hahaha.

<3 amberger

Re: think happy...

[t0xicwastez0ne]

ya all those things went thru my mind (ESPECIALLY the car thing lol...jk) and ya it makes sense. shane says that hes never going to leave me, but theres the slight chance that he will someday. i love him, but theres a lot of kinds of love. im just not sure if my love is the type that makes a person stay with someone forever...in reality i havent been with him for that long and so i cant be too sure. and the thing about college...im gunna meet new people and there MIGHT be someone for me. im happy with shane, but what if theres someone i could be happier with? if i stay with shane for that long, theres going to be so much im missing out on. i care about him soo much, more than anything, but the thought on loosing that freedom kinda makes me sad. i know i sound really selfish...but im really supposed to be experiencing things and all that fun stuff. and ya, shane also wants to do it, just as much as me. but he kinda jumps into things and is automatically sure about things..unlike me where i have to think everything through. ya its just a bad quality of mine but oh well. i dont know what im trying to say here..its just i met him so young and theres so much out there for me that i wont be able to enjoy if i stay with him. i guess i jus need some time to think and stuff..but i better think by the time summer is over cuz SOMEONE wants a new car lol. but thnx amber...i love how i can always count on you. <333 ~m0nika~

Re: think happy...

[xt0xicfangx]

*sigh* shit. i was sooooo close to losing it ya know? like...SO fucking close. and i am glad that i didnt. i mean...look who it was *shivers* i mean if i actually liked him like the way u and shane are then fuck yea i woulda dun it ina heart beat becuase it would have actually meant sumthing. but both him and i were in it jes fur the ride and for the phisical feeling of it. and ya know i dont regret any of that stuff i DID do. and i would do it all over again even with the knowledge of the concequences it ended up leading to. i mean hell it was fun and it didnt scar me emotionally. but if i had gone thru with the losing of the virginity, theres def a huge chance it would have effected me more. sure the whole situation sucked reeeally bad fur awhile after but things are ok now. and i mean who knows, maybe it could have turned out NOT being that big ofa deal, but then again mabye it was. its jes...it would have been purley for the fling of it with nothing real behind it. i had so much fun doing what i did. and like u said about the expiramenting, thats what it was fur me. and we werent bf and gf either...so it wasnt jes one person i could have fun with all in one night. it was lika dream hah no attatchment jes pleaure pleasure pleasure and we were all jes booty call homies heh. *sigh* things jes seem easier when stupid emotions didnt get in the way and yea having the trubble with emotions ive experienced in the past it was all great not having to worry. and sumtimes i wish i had jes to know what its like and such. but...then i look at u and shane and what u have and all the raw emotion that u share( the same with amber and ray)..and its saddening.it jes seems unfair that u guys actually have genuine feeling for the other person and it duznt seem like i can ever have that. detatched flings just seem easier. like i had said b4..u know nothing can go wrong with feelings if there are none. but i did have feelings for sumone b4 that i THOUGHT were real and suddenly one day they were gone. just like that, GONE. and i dont know what happened. i thought it was luv but i guess it wasnt. so why would i want to risk thinking its the real thing when it might not be. but its not hard to get jealous knowking that other ppl such as yourself are experiencing true passion and im just afraid to and think its not possible for me ne ways. but i do want it..sumday at least. i dunno, if i was u, i think i would do it. i mean you ARE young and all but as long as it means sumthing at the time u do it then it seems like its ok. and even if u do end up not being with him forever, ull know it was all worth it and it was all real and it was luv. AH i gtg. just think about if u really mean it or not.. i luv u Mochi <333 hugs x infinity