Meanwhile, in America...sith_droidekaAugust 6 2013, 02:10:32 UTC
"Ladies and gentlemen," boomed Leon Trotsky, "feast your eyes on Isis Bowman!" The slightly-insane, part-communist part-capitalist archrival of Josef Stalin (and owner of half the magical industry of the Mexican states) was pointing at a haughty-looking woman made of twisted metal. She was staring down at the assembled crowd of politicians, businessmen, NNN students, and raptors and making lewd thrusts with her pelvis. "Tragically," Trotsky said, and he ushered the crowd past her, "the statue has started malfunctioning."
"And now, ladies and gentlemen," Trotsky said, stopping in front of a woman gyrating so fast she was only a metal blur, "look upon the amazing Seer Mallus Zacherely, the worlds first-and only- gyrating seer. She died when she cracked her head on a pole one of her many enemies summoned, and to this day we don't know who it was." From the back of the crowd, a small cadre of Peruvian senators began whistling innocently.
Trotsky waved the crowd on. "And this, fine citizens of our country, is the great Emma Wrong," he said, and he pointed to a statue of a woman waving her rear end at the crowd, "she went a bit loopy in life towards the end, something reflected in this statue."
A hand went up in the crowd. "Yes?" Trotsky called, pointing at it.
The hand belonged to George Washington Raptor, a vicious Utahraptor and the GAP Senator from the Bahamas. "Why are there only women here? I thought this was the Hall of Crazy People," it hissed.
"Actually, this is the Hall of Crazy People as Caused by the Dark Wizard Neil," Trotsky explained, and he pointed to a statue of a short, squat man wearing thick robes. That statue appeared to be inanimate. "Don't be fooled, he's scared because there are so many women here," Trotsky added.
"Continuing on to the gallery of underage witches..."
Meanwhile, far away from the history museums of the Panama Capital Zone, was the office of one Executive Director Quetzalcoatl, leader of the American wizarding school NNN.
"Sir," yelled Minerva McGonagall, running into the room, "Hermione Granger has given birth! I just got the owl with the message!"
"Very well," Quetzalcoatl said, and he stood up and faced out of his cloud windows to look out across the American landscape, "rally the troops. It's time to restore canon. Go marshal the canon characters hiding from the sues and döppelgangers; I'll contact the sporkers."
McGonagall nodded and ran from the room, while Quetzalcoatl pulled out one of those new-fangled inkpot-less quill (called a "pen" by the young, red-haired, man with a Dark magical scar covering half his face who sold it to him) and a sheet of parchment. "To Mr. Szaleniec," he muttered to himself as he wrote, "congratulations for making it so far. Now I invite you to lead the charge for canon..."
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It's amazing how much Hogwarts Exposed can make you feel good about your own writing.
Re: Meanwhile, in America...szaleniec1000August 6 2013, 02:28:56 UTC
Nicely done, as ever. :) I wasn't sure at one point that I'd make it to the end. I've had quite a busy year, so my schedule hasn't been all that it could.
It's amazing how much Hogwarts Exposed can make you feel good about your own writing.
This is true. It's also instructive to see what doesn't work and why: I find myself thinking about my own writing a lot more since I started doing these.
"And now, ladies and gentlemen," Trotsky said, stopping in front of a woman gyrating so fast she was only a metal blur, "look upon the amazing Seer Mallus Zacherely, the worlds first-and only- gyrating seer. She died when she cracked her head on a pole one of her many enemies summoned, and to this day we don't know who it was." From the back of the crowd, a small cadre of Peruvian senators began whistling innocently.
Trotsky waved the crowd on. "And this, fine citizens of our country, is the great Emma Wrong," he said, and he pointed to a statue of a woman waving her rear end at the crowd, "she went a bit loopy in life towards the end, something reflected in this statue."
A hand went up in the crowd. "Yes?" Trotsky called, pointing at it.
The hand belonged to George Washington Raptor, a vicious Utahraptor and the GAP Senator from the Bahamas. "Why are there only women here? I thought this was the Hall of Crazy People," it hissed.
"Actually, this is the Hall of Crazy People as Caused by the Dark Wizard Neil," Trotsky explained, and he pointed to a statue of a short, squat man wearing thick robes. That statue appeared to be inanimate. "Don't be fooled, he's scared because there are so many women here," Trotsky added.
"Continuing on to the gallery of underage witches..."
Meanwhile, far away from the history museums of the Panama Capital Zone, was the office of one Executive Director Quetzalcoatl, leader of the American wizarding school NNN.
"Sir," yelled Minerva McGonagall, running into the room, "Hermione Granger has given birth! I just got the owl with the message!"
"Very well," Quetzalcoatl said, and he stood up and faced out of his cloud windows to look out across the American landscape, "rally the troops. It's time to restore canon. Go marshal the canon characters hiding from the sues and döppelgangers; I'll contact the sporkers."
McGonagall nodded and ran from the room, while Quetzalcoatl pulled out one of those new-fangled inkpot-less quill (called a "pen" by the young, red-haired, man with a Dark magical scar covering half his face who sold it to him) and a sheet of parchment. "To Mr. Szaleniec," he muttered to himself as he wrote, "congratulations for making it so far. Now I invite you to lead the charge for canon..."
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It's amazing how much Hogwarts Exposed can make you feel good about your own writing.
Reply
It's amazing how much Hogwarts Exposed can make you feel good about your own writing.
This is true. It's also instructive to see what doesn't work and why: I find myself thinking about my own writing a lot more since I started doing these.
Reply
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