Hogwarts Too Exposed Chapter 14 part 1
Happy birthday, sith_droideka! :)
Saturday, November 6, 2004
A queue was forming as the students waited impatiently for Filch to check off their names on the long list of those eligible to participate in the first Hogsmeade visit of the year.
At least he's not "Flitch" any more.
Caitlin watched from the third floor balcony.
I'm amazed she hasn't manipulated Hermione into letting her visit Hogsmeade anyway, like she did with the Yule Ball.
"You're not going to jump, are you?" Emily said laughingly as she and Kim approached Caitlin.
It's been a while, but I've not forgotten that we've got a "laughingly" count going on here.
LAUGHINGLY COUNT: 8
"From the look on your face, one would think you just lost your best friend."
"No, not quite that bad. Just suffering a bout of 'sibling' jealousy," Caitlin said, giving them a weak smile.
Is she airquoting, or is she somehow pronouncing those quotation marks?
"I just wish Matt and I could spend the day together in Hogsmeade, like Jamie and Alex."
"Be thankful that at least you have a boyfriend you can talk about," Emily said with a tinge of envy in her voice. "I think I have one, but I have to keep it a secret from most people."
Which is why you're saying it right there on the third-floor balcony where anyone can overhear, not back in your parents' quarters or somewhere private like that.
"I just wish I had a secret boyfriend," Kim said dejectedly.
"Don't get discouraged," Caitlin said, supportively.
Well, there's a relief. For a moment I thought she wasn't being supportive when she was telling her friend not to get discouraged.
"Matt told me that Randy talks about you a lot. I'm sure he'll ask you to the Ball. He just has to work up the nerve."
He's either not Randy enough or too much so.
"Plus have the opportunity," Emily added. "He's a second year Gryffindor, and you're a first year Slytherin. Your paths don't exactly cross a lot."
Except when second-year Gryffindors and first-year Slytherins run into each other on the third-floor balcony.
"Well, Mum and Dad went to Hogsmeade today," Caitlin offered. "I believe they are going to do some early Christmas shopping, plus they have a luncheon engagement with some old classmate at noon.
A luncheon engagement. Apparently Harry and Hermione are meeting Luna at Buckingham Palace.
"You're not suggesting what I think you are?" Emily questioned. "I thought you had agreed that it would be best for you and Matt not to be alone there."
Yes, thanks for reminding us. We were there, you know.
"I won't be alone if you are both there along with Tyler and Randy," Caitlin argued.
"Somehow I don't think Mum and Dad will give us their approval," Emily said, concern registering on her face.
Isn't that the whole point of doing this when they're not there? And I thought Caitlin was the good girl and Emily the rebel, insofar as any of them have any characterisation at all.
"They've already left, so it's too late to ask," Caitlin said coyly. "They'd have no problem with the three of us being there by ourselves. What would be the harm if the boys joined us for a short time? It's not like we are going to do anything wrong.
That it even occurs to anyone that they might do something wrong is dodgy in itself, considering these people are eleven and twelve.
Plus it gives you an opportunity to talk to Tyler without him getting grief from his brother, and maybe Randy will get the nerve to ask Kim to the Ball."
Kim eyes sparkled at the possibility of spending a few hours with Randy, but dimmed when she looked at Emily's worried expression.
Or, you know, if Kim's so excited about seeing him she could ask him herself. But this is Hogwarts Exposed, where "men act, women are" is an immutable rule of the universe. It's most noticeable in the case of characters like Hermione, where it blatantly contradicts canon characterisation, but pervades the entire fic.
"I'd love to spend some time with Tyler, but I think our parents will get really mad if they find out," Emily said, apprehensively.
Welcome to Hogwarts Exposed, where Harry and Hermione are stereotypical helicopter parents. (Despite the fact that they didn't even bother to say hello when they got back from the hearing.) Now they've got good reason to be concerned about the girls' attitudes towards relationships, and we'll see a lot more of that (far more than we ever wanted) in Chapter 22. However, none of that is apparent yet so not allowing them to socialise with boys in their own time looks unreasonable.
Emily laughed. "You and Matt are the only ones that need to maintain self-control," she said. "I doubt Randy or Tyler would even consider trying anything with Kim or me."
I think they've got more to worry about from you.
"Alex, I need your help," Tony said, his eyes filled with anxiety. "If I tell you something, you must promise not to tell a soul, especially Jamie. She'll go right to Professor Granger."
Jamie, who the story never tires of telling us is a wonderful and amazing person, is apparently a disloyal telltale whose best friends can't trust to keep their private business private. I'm all for flawed characters, but this disconnect makes no sense.
Alex hesitated. His relationship with Jamie was based on mutual trust;
Misplaced mutual trust if she blabs all your secrets to her parents every opportunity she gets.
"Amanda is pregnant," Tony said without further explanation.
Well, it is pretty self-explanatory.
"No!" Alex said, horrified at the thought and picturing himself in Tony's place. "What are you guys going to do?"
"We can't have it!" Tony exclaimed. "We're both only sixteen; who would hire us, and neither of us can tell our parents. They have such faith in us. It would kill them to never have us finish Hogwarts."
It says an awful lot about the author's (lack of) experience, understanding and research that he automatically assumes that there'd be no way for her to have the baby and finish her education. Because out here in the real world, it's not a hypothetical situation but a genuine issue facing real people. Exposed!Hogwarts has been established as a good school with supportive staff (in the case of Snape, far more supportive than he is in canon) so it doesn't make any sense that they'd just abandon her and not do everything they could to help her.
"You're going to abort the pregnancy?" Alex questioned, simultaneously horrified and sympathetic. "But how? It's against wizard law. Is Amanda going to go to one of those muggle clinics during Christmas break?"
"No," Tony said sadly. "Amanda's dad has her vacation all planned out. There is no chance she can get away."
Which, in the hands of a halfway competent writer, would be a conflict for her to face and potentially overcome rather than a complete bar to that course of action. I'm interested in characters who face conflict, not shy away from it.
"We found out about this guy who will do the operation," Tony said undecidedly. "I'm going to make arrangements today so it can be done on our Hogsmeade visit in December. That's where you come in. The contact person is the bar man at the Hog's Head.
Aberforth Dumbledore, purveyor of back-alley abortions.
I was rather hoping you'd accompany me. I've heard it's somewhat different from the Three Broomsticks, rather a rough crowd."
"Isn't there some other way?" Alex virtually implored.
"No!" Tony answered forcefully. "Amanada and I have discussed it time and again. It's our only logical choice.
It's a bit late to be bringing logic into this fic now. I noticed he didn't say anything about the fact that he got this information from Dick the dick.
Alex was sure that Jamie would go to Professor Granger. She and Professor Potter would without doubt be upset, but they would understand and help.
And yet Hermione finding out about Amanda being pregnant would be the worst thing ever.
"I can't believe you persuaded me to meet with her," Hermione said with a shudder as she and Harry reached the entrance to the Three Broomsticks.
The Three Broomsticks: the five-star village pub where one has "luncheon engagements".
"What can it hurt?" Harry said as he opened the door for his wife. "Besides, Luna was a good friend. We owe her the courtesy of listening to what she has to say."
Hermione glared at Harry. "In nine days that rag of hers is going to ruin my life, and you want me to be courteous? What I should do is transfigure her into a cockroach!"
Savour this rare hint that HE!Hermione might actually be a powerful witch, because it's one of the few we get.
Harry looked at Hermione pleadingly. "You promised there would be no scene, that you'd keep your wand sheathed."
Which is something HE!Harry has trouble doing, especially when Hermione is around.
"Is that her?" Harry asked indicating an attractive willowy dirty-blonde haired young woman sitting in a corner booth staring dreamily into space.
"That's her, all right," Hermione said, dislike apparent in her voice. "Look at her, forever lost in a daydream.. How did she ever finish at the top of her class?"
In which Hermione proves Luna's assessment of her to be 100% correct.
For a few moments no one spoke. , Then, Luna broke the silence. "This summer, Frank Lyler, a freelance photographer, who works both in the muggle and wizard worlds
That's quite risky. What if he accidentally sent a stack of his wizard photos to a Muggle publication? Probably nothing, considering that in Hogwarts Exposed the Statute of Secrecy doesn't seem to exist. Or, to put it another way, Hogwarts is exposed.
was covering a pageant in Cap d' Adge," Luna said, her voice monotone. "He is not an extremely likeable wizard. Although he's never been arrested, many feel he dabbles in child pornography."
And many would probably be right, considering that:
"Frank was evidently poolside the morning you went swimming for the first time. Knowing him, I assume he was probably ogling naked young girls
... the guy's an honest-to-goodness paedophile.
when he was surprised to see the famous wizard, Harry Potter.
So basically, he just happened to be there.
Frank immediately ran to his room and exchanged his muggle camera for an inconspicuous wizardcam. From hidden locations he photographed you and your daughters."
And Loopin was masticating to it.
"Many wizard celebrities cover themselves with an anti-photographable charm to prevent their picture from being taken when they are not aware," Luna continued. "Although not expecting you to be using such a charm at a muggle resort, he uttered 'Finite Incantatum' anyway.
Very lucky for him that he managed to mispronounce the spell in exactly the right way to counter the concealment charm. And that nobody else seemed to notice a woman's swimsuit suddenly vanishing before their eyes. So much for the Statute of Secrecy.
He was pleasantly surprised at the results and started happily snapping pictures until a group of young girls caused him to rush off. Later that day he was banned from the resort for trying to take some crude shots of the young girls in the program."
And yet nobody bothered to arrest him or confiscate his camera or anything like that.
"I don't understand," Harry asked. "It sounds like you aren't very content with the quality. Why are you ruining Hermione's life by publishing pictures that you're not even happy with and in all probability will disappoint your readers."
"Business," Luna said dreamily as she took a sip of her drink.
As she took a sip? How did she not choke?
"I doubt you'll believe me, but when Frank Lyler first approached me with his hand full of pictures, I told him that I wasn't interested. I said for the magazine to get involved we needed more pictures and of better quality. I did, however, make him a personal offer to get the pictures off the market, but he refused."
Quite why he refused considering he'd be getting his money anyway is never explained. You don't have to have consistent and believable motivations when your only purpose is as a walking plot device, after all.
Luna looked first at Hermione and than at Harry. "I honestly didn't want this to happen. I had intended to give you the pictures."
"About a month later, my two main competitors and myself received a letter from Frank.
If you're starting a new paragraph and it's the same person speaking, you don't put a close quote at the end of the first paragraph. This makes it look as though she's talking to herself, or that someone else is speaking her line for her. Also, reflexive pronouns do not work that way, especially when you're a Ravenclaw who finished top of your class.
He now claimed to have three times as many pictures of Hermione and would sell them to the highest bidder."
And where did he get those other pictures?
Hermione glanced from Luna to Harry and then said. "Exactly why are we here? Are you expecting me to forgive you for ruining my life because by your reasoning, if you hadn't done it someone else would have? I'm sorry, but I'll not forgive you for what you've done."
"I don't expect you to," Luna said, her voice once again drifting away lazily. "But I sincerely regret what this has done to you and Harry. Some nude photos shouldn't cost a brilliant professor her position, but I'm afraid they will.
Luna knows all about Hogwarts disciplinary procedures from her experience in the magazine publishing industry. Somehow.
"As I said, I'm embarrassed by the quality of some of the photos Lyler took," Luna repeated. "Hermione, you are a beautiful woman and have an exquisite body. Frank's pictures do you an injustice. Let us run a feature showing how truly beautiful you are. Poise for our photographers in our studios and we'll pay you as much as you would earn the next ten years teaching. Take the money, go on an extended holiday and then prepare for your future. You can't undo what has happened, but you can at least garner some benefits from you distress."
Harry and Hermione sat, neither speaking nor looking at the other. Both deep in thought, realizing that as ludicrous as it sounded, what Luna was proposing actually made good sense under the current situation.
Yes, we're in both their heads at once. This is completely unnecessary, because nothing is gained from the second POV. Better to stay in one character's head and put words to the effect of "she could tell from his expression that he was thinking the same thing", as JKR herself sometimes does in the Harry Potter books. If you're writing third-person omniscient with a strong authorial voice, which Hogwarts Exposed doesn't have, then you might want to explore two characters' reactions to a single scene; it's still not worth doing this when they're exactly the same.
Luna got up to leave as Hermione said, "But I'm two months pregnant."
"And not the least bit showing," Luna replied, with a smile. "We, of course, will have to schedule the photo shoot immediately." Then before walking away, she added, "I have a terrific idea. Three more years of salary if you let us also photograph you full term and another five if we can photograph the actual delivery and first feeding. Totally nude, of course."
Wait, what? I thought she worked for Playwizard, not Mother and Baby.
Being a naturist and being nude in front of people was so different than posing for explicit pictures. Hermione couldn't explain why, but to her they were poles apart. One seemed pure, innocent and actually comfortable. The other seemed lurid, erotic and, to her mindset, totally wrong. Yet, they were basically the exact same thing.
TL;DR nudity is completely nonsexual except when it isn't.
"Harry, will you still love me if I agree to do this?" Hermione asked, all ready detesting herself for considering putting money ahead of her self-esteem.
Of course he will. In fact, that's the problem with the way their relationship is portrayed as all perfect and soulmatey: it's completely uninteresting because even when points of conflict arise there's no tension, because we know it's all going to work out.
Saturday, November 6, 2004
A queue was forming as the students waited impatiently for Filch to check off their names on the long list of those eligible to participate in the first Hogsmeade visit of the year.
At least he's not "Flitch" any more.
Caitlin watched from the third floor balcony.
I'm amazed she hasn't manipulated Hermione into letting her visit Hogsmeade anyway, like she did with the Yule Ball.
"You're not going to jump, are you?" Emily said laughingly as she and Kim approached Caitlin.
It's been a while, but I've not forgotten that we've got a "laughingly" count going on here.
LAUGHINGLY COUNT: 8
"From the look on your face, one would think you just lost your best friend."
"No, not quite that bad. Just suffering a bout of 'sibling' jealousy," Caitlin said, giving them a weak smile.
Is she airquoting, or is she somehow pronouncing those quotation marks?
"I just wish Matt and I could spend the day together in Hogsmeade, like Jamie and Alex."
"Be thankful that at least you have a boyfriend you can talk about," Emily said with a tinge of envy in her voice. "I think I have one, but I have to keep it a secret from most people."
Which is why you're saying it right there on the third-floor balcony where anyone can overhear, not back in your parents' quarters or somewhere private like that.
"I just wish I had a secret boyfriend," Kim said dejectedly.
"Don't get discouraged," Caitlin said, supportively.
Well, there's a relief. For a moment I thought she wasn't being supportive when she was telling her friend not to get discouraged.
"Matt told me that Randy talks about you a lot. I'm sure he'll ask you to the Ball. He just has to work up the nerve."
He's either not Randy enough or too much so.
"Plus have the opportunity," Emily added. "He's a second year Gryffindor, and you're a first year Slytherin. Your paths don't exactly cross a lot."
Except when second-year Gryffindors and first-year Slytherins run into each other on the third-floor balcony.
"Well, Mum and Dad went to Hogsmeade today," Caitlin offered. "I believe they are going to do some early Christmas shopping, plus they have a luncheon engagement with some old classmate at noon.
A luncheon engagement. Apparently Harry and Hermione are meeting Luna at Buckingham Palace.
"You're not suggesting what I think you are?" Emily questioned. "I thought you had agreed that it would be best for you and Matt not to be alone there."
Yes, thanks for reminding us. We were there, you know.
"I won't be alone if you are both there along with Tyler and Randy," Caitlin argued.
"Somehow I don't think Mum and Dad will give us their approval," Emily said, concern registering on her face.
Isn't that the whole point of doing this when they're not there? And I thought Caitlin was the good girl and Emily the rebel, insofar as any of them have any characterisation at all.
"They've already left, so it's too late to ask," Caitlin said coyly. "They'd have no problem with the three of us being there by ourselves. What would be the harm if the boys joined us for a short time? It's not like we are going to do anything wrong.
That it even occurs to anyone that they might do something wrong is dodgy in itself, considering these people are eleven and twelve.
Plus it gives you an opportunity to talk to Tyler without him getting grief from his brother, and maybe Randy will get the nerve to ask Kim to the Ball."
Kim eyes sparkled at the possibility of spending a few hours with Randy, but dimmed when she looked at Emily's worried expression.
Or, you know, if Kim's so excited about seeing him she could ask him herself. But this is Hogwarts Exposed, where "men act, women are" is an immutable rule of the universe. It's most noticeable in the case of characters like Hermione, where it blatantly contradicts canon characterisation, but pervades the entire fic.
"I'd love to spend some time with Tyler, but I think our parents will get really mad if they find out," Emily said, apprehensively.
Welcome to Hogwarts Exposed, where Harry and Hermione are stereotypical helicopter parents. (Despite the fact that they didn't even bother to say hello when they got back from the hearing.) Now they've got good reason to be concerned about the girls' attitudes towards relationships, and we'll see a lot more of that (far more than we ever wanted) in Chapter 22. However, none of that is apparent yet so not allowing them to socialise with boys in their own time looks unreasonable.
Emily laughed. "You and Matt are the only ones that need to maintain self-control," she said. "I doubt Randy or Tyler would even consider trying anything with Kim or me."
I think they've got more to worry about from you.
"Alex, I need your help," Tony said, his eyes filled with anxiety. "If I tell you something, you must promise not to tell a soul, especially Jamie. She'll go right to Professor Granger."
Jamie, who the story never tires of telling us is a wonderful and amazing person, is apparently a disloyal telltale whose best friends can't trust to keep their private business private. I'm all for flawed characters, but this disconnect makes no sense.
Alex hesitated. His relationship with Jamie was based on mutual trust;
Misplaced mutual trust if she blabs all your secrets to her parents every opportunity she gets.
"Amanda is pregnant," Tony said without further explanation.
Well, it is pretty self-explanatory.
"No!" Alex said, horrified at the thought and picturing himself in Tony's place. "What are you guys going to do?"
"We can't have it!" Tony exclaimed. "We're both only sixteen; who would hire us, and neither of us can tell our parents. They have such faith in us. It would kill them to never have us finish Hogwarts."
It says an awful lot about the author's (lack of) experience, understanding and research that he automatically assumes that there'd be no way for her to have the baby and finish her education. Because out here in the real world, it's not a hypothetical situation but a genuine issue facing real people. Exposed!Hogwarts has been established as a good school with supportive staff (in the case of Snape, far more supportive than he is in canon) so it doesn't make any sense that they'd just abandon her and not do everything they could to help her.
"You're going to abort the pregnancy?" Alex questioned, simultaneously horrified and sympathetic. "But how? It's against wizard law. Is Amanda going to go to one of those muggle clinics during Christmas break?"
"No," Tony said sadly. "Amanda's dad has her vacation all planned out. There is no chance she can get away."
Which, in the hands of a halfway competent writer, would be a conflict for her to face and potentially overcome rather than a complete bar to that course of action. I'm interested in characters who face conflict, not shy away from it.
"We found out about this guy who will do the operation," Tony said undecidedly. "I'm going to make arrangements today so it can be done on our Hogsmeade visit in December. That's where you come in. The contact person is the bar man at the Hog's Head.
Aberforth Dumbledore, purveyor of back-alley abortions.
I was rather hoping you'd accompany me. I've heard it's somewhat different from the Three Broomsticks, rather a rough crowd."
"Isn't there some other way?" Alex virtually implored.
"No!" Tony answered forcefully. "Amanada and I have discussed it time and again. It's our only logical choice.
It's a bit late to be bringing logic into this fic now. I noticed he didn't say anything about the fact that he got this information from Dick the dick.
Alex was sure that Jamie would go to Professor Granger. She and Professor Potter would without doubt be upset, but they would understand and help.
And yet Hermione finding out about Amanda being pregnant would be the worst thing ever.
"I can't believe you persuaded me to meet with her," Hermione said with a shudder as she and Harry reached the entrance to the Three Broomsticks.
The Three Broomsticks: the five-star village pub where one has "luncheon engagements".
"What can it hurt?" Harry said as he opened the door for his wife. "Besides, Luna was a good friend. We owe her the courtesy of listening to what she has to say."
Hermione glared at Harry. "In nine days that rag of hers is going to ruin my life, and you want me to be courteous? What I should do is transfigure her into a cockroach!"
Savour this rare hint that HE!Hermione might actually be a powerful witch, because it's one of the few we get.
Harry looked at Hermione pleadingly. "You promised there would be no scene, that you'd keep your wand sheathed."
Which is something HE!Harry has trouble doing, especially when Hermione is around.
"Is that her?" Harry asked indicating an attractive willowy dirty-blonde haired young woman sitting in a corner booth staring dreamily into space.
"That's her, all right," Hermione said, dislike apparent in her voice. "Look at her, forever lost in a daydream.. How did she ever finish at the top of her class?"
In which Hermione proves Luna's assessment of her to be 100% correct.
For a few moments no one spoke. , Then, Luna broke the silence. "This summer, Frank Lyler, a freelance photographer, who works both in the muggle and wizard worlds
That's quite risky. What if he accidentally sent a stack of his wizard photos to a Muggle publication? Probably nothing, considering that in Hogwarts Exposed the Statute of Secrecy doesn't seem to exist. Or, to put it another way, Hogwarts is exposed.
was covering a pageant in Cap d' Adge," Luna said, her voice monotone. "He is not an extremely likeable wizard. Although he's never been arrested, many feel he dabbles in child pornography."
And many would probably be right, considering that:
"Frank was evidently poolside the morning you went swimming for the first time. Knowing him, I assume he was probably ogling naked young girls
... the guy's an honest-to-goodness paedophile.
when he was surprised to see the famous wizard, Harry Potter.
So basically, he just happened to be there.
Frank immediately ran to his room and exchanged his muggle camera for an inconspicuous wizardcam. From hidden locations he photographed you and your daughters."
And Loopin was masticating to it.
"Many wizard celebrities cover themselves with an anti-photographable charm to prevent their picture from being taken when they are not aware," Luna continued. "Although not expecting you to be using such a charm at a muggle resort, he uttered 'Finite Incantatum' anyway.
Very lucky for him that he managed to mispronounce the spell in exactly the right way to counter the concealment charm. And that nobody else seemed to notice a woman's swimsuit suddenly vanishing before their eyes. So much for the Statute of Secrecy.
He was pleasantly surprised at the results and started happily snapping pictures until a group of young girls caused him to rush off. Later that day he was banned from the resort for trying to take some crude shots of the young girls in the program."
And yet nobody bothered to arrest him or confiscate his camera or anything like that.
"I don't understand," Harry asked. "It sounds like you aren't very content with the quality. Why are you ruining Hermione's life by publishing pictures that you're not even happy with and in all probability will disappoint your readers."
"Business," Luna said dreamily as she took a sip of her drink.
As she took a sip? How did she not choke?
"I doubt you'll believe me, but when Frank Lyler first approached me with his hand full of pictures, I told him that I wasn't interested. I said for the magazine to get involved we needed more pictures and of better quality. I did, however, make him a personal offer to get the pictures off the market, but he refused."
Quite why he refused considering he'd be getting his money anyway is never explained. You don't have to have consistent and believable motivations when your only purpose is as a walking plot device, after all.
Luna looked first at Hermione and than at Harry. "I honestly didn't want this to happen. I had intended to give you the pictures."
"About a month later, my two main competitors and myself received a letter from Frank.
If you're starting a new paragraph and it's the same person speaking, you don't put a close quote at the end of the first paragraph. This makes it look as though she's talking to herself, or that someone else is speaking her line for her. Also, reflexive pronouns do not work that way, especially when you're a Ravenclaw who finished top of your class.
He now claimed to have three times as many pictures of Hermione and would sell them to the highest bidder."
And where did he get those other pictures?
Hermione glanced from Luna to Harry and then said. "Exactly why are we here? Are you expecting me to forgive you for ruining my life because by your reasoning, if you hadn't done it someone else would have? I'm sorry, but I'll not forgive you for what you've done."
"I don't expect you to," Luna said, her voice once again drifting away lazily. "But I sincerely regret what this has done to you and Harry. Some nude photos shouldn't cost a brilliant professor her position, but I'm afraid they will.
Luna knows all about Hogwarts disciplinary procedures from her experience in the magazine publishing industry. Somehow.
"As I said, I'm embarrassed by the quality of some of the photos Lyler took," Luna repeated. "Hermione, you are a beautiful woman and have an exquisite body. Frank's pictures do you an injustice. Let us run a feature showing how truly beautiful you are. Poise for our photographers in our studios and we'll pay you as much as you would earn the next ten years teaching. Take the money, go on an extended holiday and then prepare for your future. You can't undo what has happened, but you can at least garner some benefits from you distress."
Harry and Hermione sat, neither speaking nor looking at the other. Both deep in thought, realizing that as ludicrous as it sounded, what Luna was proposing actually made good sense under the current situation.
Yes, we're in both their heads at once. This is completely unnecessary, because nothing is gained from the second POV. Better to stay in one character's head and put words to the effect of "she could tell from his expression that he was thinking the same thing", as JKR herself sometimes does in the Harry Potter books. If you're writing third-person omniscient with a strong authorial voice, which Hogwarts Exposed doesn't have, then you might want to explore two characters' reactions to a single scene; it's still not worth doing this when they're exactly the same.
Luna got up to leave as Hermione said, "But I'm two months pregnant."
"And not the least bit showing," Luna replied, with a smile. "We, of course, will have to schedule the photo shoot immediately." Then before walking away, she added, "I have a terrific idea. Three more years of salary if you let us also photograph you full term and another five if we can photograph the actual delivery and first feeding. Totally nude, of course."
Wait, what? I thought she worked for Playwizard, not Mother and Baby.
Being a naturist and being nude in front of people was so different than posing for explicit pictures. Hermione couldn't explain why, but to her they were poles apart. One seemed pure, innocent and actually comfortable. The other seemed lurid, erotic and, to her mindset, totally wrong. Yet, they were basically the exact same thing.
TL;DR nudity is completely nonsexual except when it isn't.
"Harry, will you still love me if I agree to do this?" Hermione asked, all ready detesting herself for considering putting money ahead of her self-esteem.
Of course he will. In fact, that's the problem with the way their relationship is portrayed as all perfect and soulmatey: it's completely uninteresting because even when points of conflict arise there's no tension, because we know it's all going to work out.